Beyond - Legends We're Doomed (a small Pash Cracken fic, complete)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jane Jinn, Mar 16, 2003.

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  1. jodiwent Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    Great story Jane!

    I'm late to the party because this was the last board I would expect to find one of yours on ;) A nice surprise.

    I loved doom, and C-3P0 is a fitting punishment.

    I'd read more Pash fics if you wrote them. No matter who you write about you have a style I love to read.
  2. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    dianethx: I don't think I can write a story with Luke, I'm afraid. I just don't know enough about his character post ROTJ. And I don't think it's possible to play a practical joke on a Jedi Master -- though maybe the joke could be that every joke tried on a Jedi fails miserably? Pash and Janson ... that has more possibilities. Thanks for reading and replying; your comments mean a lot to me.

    Tahi Your comments mean a lot to me, too, so thanks for coming over and reading. I'm pleased that I got Pash down in the way you saw him; it was hard to discover what his character actually was because he got so little time in print. Glad you enjoyed the story!

    Mistress Renata Yes, this story was supposed to be short. Now that I've gotten a taste for this genre, and I'm fairly sure I have a handle on Pash's character, I think I will write some more about him. Alant's revenge ... yes ... it could take months for me to do enough research to write an A-Wing fight scene, though.

    Doom was fun to develop and there were places where he practically wrote himself; I'm glad everybody liked him.

    Jodiwent Thanks for heeding my call and stopping by. I appreciate every reply and every bit of feedback I get. Yes, this is quite a change from JA stuff, but you know what? You might find more stories by me here on this board in the future. I'm getting quite a taste for this. And thanks for the compliment about my style.

    :)
  3. HaiGan Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2000
    star 4
    I don't read squadron fics, unless they're Lilith's- and now yours, Jane. :)

    I know, I'm late here too, but I got here eventually.
  4. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Just trawling for readers ...
  5. _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2000
    star 4
    Jane: well done!

    Pash's character is clearly defined, and his playful and over-confident pilots are very true to life and yet distinct enough to establish their own individuality. Can't wait to read more of them :)

    The story was short and sweet: a great introduction to the squadron, but they need a name, too. :)

    The humourous bits were genuinely funny, and so quick with the dialogue. The characters very quickly gained individual voices in my head, which I really appreciate!

    I understand your reluctance to write starfighter combat sequences: a little too much detail and they are confusing, but too little isn't a good thing either. That would be my only point of criticism: I wanted to read how Pash got her down safely, and what his mental process was for the duration. The switch between the takeoff and the landing was a little abrupt. (If you want some guidance or suggestions on starfighter combat, I'd be happy to assist... :) )

    Story was good all around: a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing, and don't hesitate to do more: I'd love to read them!

    Archive it! :)

    *Derisa*

  6. InyriForge Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    Jane,

    A huge standing ovation from one Rogue fan to another. That was incredible. You captured so many different emotions and genres in such a short story. I know I'm supposed to be judging this for the contest, but can I please ask a personal favor? May I archive this on my site?

    ~Inyri
  7. Sgt Crowfield Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 27, 1999
    star 4
    Doom was pretty sweet. And using 3PO in this way is extremly cruel... [face_devil]
  8. Tahi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    I beg to differ on the subject of starfighter combat. I was actually very relieved not to have to wade through a whole lot of etheric rudders, activations of repulsors and goosing of thrusters. As I said earlier, I liked the way you dealt with Pash's fighter expertise in retrospect through the dialogue. I think the story was well-balanced, and a long fighter scene would have spoiled it - that's my opinion anyway. :)
  9. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Wow, new readers!

    Thanks for stopping by, Hai Gan. I appreciate the :)

    Derisa, thanks for the compliments! I might just take you up on your offer for starfighter combat for a later fic. I definitely want to do more. And I know the squadron needs a name. I wasn't sure whether they already had an official designation or not, so I erred on the side of caution. In the meantime, I'm pretty sure nothing's been established, so I might just be able to pick one out.

    InyriForge: Well, thank you for the standing ovation! :) You really know how to warm a girl's heart. I've sent you a PM about your site.

    Sgt Crowfield Thank you for stopping by! Yes, it is cruel to use C-3PO for that, but I thought he'd be the droid that would know all about every detail of etiquette and protocoll -- on every planet in the Republic and then some. ;)

    Tahi Thanks again! Perhaps a starfighter sequence wasn't needed for this fic, but there might come a time when I'll really need to show all that stuff. I think the trick is as Derisa said; not too much, but not too little, and interspersing the pilot's thoughts in between the actions, so that it's not all just repulsor this and laser that.
  10. InyriForge Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2002
    star 5
    Jane, it was nothing that wasn't well deserved. I enjoyed it very much, and I hope you write more X-wing character stories in the future.

    ~Inyri
  11. _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2000
    star 4
    So many readers *need* to see this little wonder, Jane... upping this for the very late night crowd. :)

    *Derisa*
  12. ROGUE_49 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 4
    Oh man, Jane- [face_laugh] When I saw that the main character in this was Pash, I just coudnlt' resist checking it out. Are you going to write anymore with him? That was way too funny.

    I really liked the idea of showing a little bit of Pash's motivation for leaving his command position for the Rogues. You really could write an entire fulllength fic about it- do you know anyone who has? I'd defintiely be interesed. This was just enough to wet my appetite ;).

    -Rogue
  13. Sache8 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2000
    star 4
    **applauds madly**

    Sorry for the long absence. DRL sort of distracted me from anything but my own fic for awhile, but I took my last final this afternoon, and I'm free!! :D


    I liked the resolution, and how the ending ties in with Wedge's Gamble. And the mental picture of Pash downing the hard stuff (with the added charm of him being a good boy and not used to it ;)).... [face_love] I love cocky fly-boys :p


    Please notify me if you write any more of our favorite red-head A-wing Star. :D
  14. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Rogue_49 Thanks for stopping by. I don't know anybody else who has written anything about Pash at all, let alone a full-length fic. But I'm definitely planning on writing more as soon as I have time.

    Sache8 Thanks for coming back. I was afraid my lack of romance for Pash had scared you off, so I'm glad to see that's not the case. I'll be glad to notify you as soon as I get more stuff written, but it might take a while. I still have to decide on a plot, and I'm not the fastest writer.
  15. Sache8 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 19, 2000
    star 4
    Hehehe.... sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Contrary to popular belief, a story doesn't have to have romance to catch my attention. ;)

    And no pressure on the writing more. Always a fan of quality over speed or quantity, my friend :)
  16. lordmaul13 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2000
    star 4
    You pointed me toward this in the cliche thread and I'm glad you did. Oh visigoth was it good!

    I loved the Ombina brothers. I loved the stupid pilot jokes. I just loved your story. Great job.

    lordmaul13
  17. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
  18. Thumper09 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 9, 2001
    star 4
    I also just found this after seeing the link in your sig from the cliche thread. I really need to browse the Fanfic boards more often, because otherwise I miss jewels like this.

    Awesome story. I loved Doom (like everyone else did) and I also thought the ending was very fitting. The detail about Pash's drink order at the end being what it took to finally get the brothers to be quiet was very nicely done.

    Great job! :)

    -Katie
    Thumper
  19. RosyRedFinguredDawn Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2003
    star 3
    That was a great fic. I enjoyed it very much. I loved how you used the droid to insert levity to what could have been a simple, reflective piece from Pash POV. Definitaly keep it up and tell me if you write any more X-Wing fanfics. Thanks.
    ~Rosy
  20. Jane Jinn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    More replies? I can't believe it! Thank you, both, Thumper09 and RosyRedFinguredDawn!

    The droid was really fun to write. I'm glad everybody else seems to be enjoying him as much as I did. And I'm currently working out the plot details for my next Pash fic. Thanks again for your interest. :)
  21. Xaara Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    "Huh huh huh, what is going on?" Sunuva boomed.

    "Get down or they'll fry your circuits!" Alant shouted, peeping out from behind her makeshift barrier.

    "Huh, huh, huh, we're doomed!"
    [face_laugh]

    *gasps, wipes eyes* Wow, Jane Jinn! That was a truly incredible little story. Pash was adorable in his role as the foster-father for all the younger pilots, and his entire conviction that he was not invincible even though his pilots thought him to be was almost frightening. I can imagine how much pressure he must feel not to mess anything up, and how difficult it must be to live up to his reputation.

    The Ombina brothers were wonderful: "Alant saw me coming to ask her for another wonderful evening," Ficult was saying. "She just smiled that special smile of hers and said 'Now don't get mad, Lieutenant Ombina, but Lieutenant Witt's already asked me to spend the evening with him.' What else could I do but not get mad? I didn't get mad, did I, Solut?"

    "He did not get mad," Solut nodded.
    :D They were vivid enough to be real, and just exaggerated enough to be fighter pilots. I loved that they drove Pash to drink. You have to feel sorry for the man. :)

    I especially liked the ending--a perfect conclusion for the entire episode. Once again, poor Pash! He's got way too much on his hands.

    Excellent job, Jane Jinn. I can't wait for your next Pash fic-ini.
  22. imzadi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2000
    star 4
    After you mentioned it, Jane, I had to check it out. I had no idea I'd missed one of your stories. Like some of the others I don't read Squadron fics but this was an exception.

    The contrast between the humerous practical joke side and the seriousness of Pash working through what the squadron really thought was well done and made it really interesting. I loved the line about Witt's first name being "Half". And then at the end where they only nodded politely not really believing him was excellent. A superb piece of writing, Jane! You've gotten me interested in these characters and I hope you continue with some more stories about them. :)
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