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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga What Choice Remains (OT, V/M/P/L, Complete) by rhonderoo & Jedi Trace *Thanks to the readers!*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Jedi Trace, Jul 1, 2004.

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  1. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    jacen200015: Thank you! We should be able to finish this fairly soon. I won't say when, though...last time I did that it took 3 weeks to write one chapter. [face_blush]

    Vivid_Scripts: Thank you so much! We very much appreciate the feedback on characterization. :)


    A/N: Chapter Six was the heaviest collaboration yet and really fun to write. Our system is that rhonderoo's text is in red and mine is in blue. By the time the chapter was finished, it looked like something you'd need 3-D glasses to read, lol.

    Excluding the Epilogue, rhonderoo carries most of the story from here and I just want to say publicly that it has been a privilege. :cool:
     
  2. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2004
    The Emperor pressed the button on his throne, turning to once again face the galaxy that was his alone, leaving Vader biting back his last vestige of control. There was no need in trying to refute any part of this. Relieved at the prospect of being rid of his Master?s presence, Vader rose and left the room.

    As soon as he was a safe distance from the Throne Room, the maelstrom that was his thoughts returned to him, his mind working feverishly. He was losing control of the situation and the chance to turn his son instead of ending his life. He saw Luke?s chances diminishing rapidly. From somewhere deep inside, the voice that lied in wait - his constant companion, howled in misery.


    Wonderful job you two! You have done a beyond fabulous job! You two write great stuff... Glad I had the privlege of reading!
     
  3. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Phew! I could feel Mara?s emotions as she discovered the truth at the Palace. That knowledge might have saved her for now but what will the Emperor do? Interesting to see that Vader has made references to his former self over the years and yet reacts in such a way to anyone else who does. Like the way you seamlessly weave so many different elements together.
     
  4. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    Hmmm. I can't wait to see how Mara gets out of this one.
     
  5. Obi-Zahn Kenobi

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 1999
    Ooh. Cliffie.
     
  6. jade_angel

    jade_angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2001
    Haven't commented on this fic yet and I felt that I should. I love the entire concept of the story. Vader playing as a father figure to a favourite character had me smirking. Though seeing that Mara's now been ousted from both Palpy and Vader's good graces I wonder where she's going to turn now? Hmmm well there is a certain young blue eyed Jedi who's in need of a hug. ;)
     
  7. Darth_Suzi

    Darth_Suzi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2004
    Argh! How did I miss two updates?!?!? Well, actually, I know the answer to that question. Olympic obsession combined with my new ipod to equal not much time on the internet... :p (Don't take it personally, though.)

    Anyways...

    Great posts. Certainly worth the wait.

    I loved the way Mara pieced together the puzzle, and figured out that Luke was Vader's son. I also liked the connection with the podracing. Of course, Vader gets mad when someone says he can't do something... ;)

    Also loved chapter six, with the Palpy/Vader confrontation. And the Mara/Vader confrontation, with Mara standing up bravely to her enraged Master.

    And he gave her his lightsaber! Somehow, Mara always seems to end up with Vader/Anakin's lightsaber, doesn't she? :)

    Lots of Vader coming up? Yay! :D Happily awaiting the next chapter!
     
  8. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    Thanks for the wonderful comments, everyone. Trace and I are both honored you guys stop in here from the many, many choices there are on the Saga board.

    I just sent my part of Chapter Seven to Trace and after we do the collaboration thing we should have something up tomorrow. Thanks again for coming along for the ride on this story that has found a little niche in my heart. [face_blush] I honestly think these two characters have a LOT in common and it a non-AU world, had they gotten the chance to work together it would have been powerful. :)

    Excluding the Epilogue, rhonderoo carries most of the story from here and I just want to say publicly that it has been a privilege.

    I must say that the honor has been all mine. :) This is really fun.
     
  9. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    VadersMistress:
    You two write great stuff...
    Thank you so much! It?s been a fun ride for us, too.

    sabe126:
    Like the way you seamlessly weave so many different elements together.
    Thank you! We?ve tried to combine details from the movies and the EU to make the story not-entirely-AU.

    StarFighter5:
    can't wait to see how Mara gets out of this one.
    [face_whistling] ;)

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi:
    Ooh. Cliffie.
    Gotta have a least one. ;)

    jade_angel:
    A fellow MJSFC?er! :D there is a certain young blue eyed Jedi who's in need of a hug.
    Tell me about it. *glares at sithy plot bunnies who are holding my L/M-shipper bunnies hostage*

    Darth_Suzi:
    Thank you! And ITA about that Olympic fever. ;)
    Somehow, Mara always seems to end up with Vader/Anakin's lightsaber, doesn't she?
    Well, now that you mention it... [face_laugh]


    A/N: For the sake of author sanity, it looks like what was going to be Chapter 7 is turning into Chapters 7-9. [face_blush] However, they are all at least partially completed and should be posted with only a few days between them.


    Feedback is, as always, much appreciated! :)


     
  10. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    A/N: Like Trace said, we decided to break some of the last chapters up for pacing purposes, so we will have Chapters 8 and 9 also. :) We've gotten our 3D glasses out and waded through the blue and red text (our system) and hope this is up to snuff. [face_laugh] Hope you enjoy!









    CHAPTER SEVEN



    Red-clad Royal Guards shoved Mara to her knees in front of the Emperor?s throne before departing at his command. Mara gritted her teeth and struggled to control quivering muscles in her legs. Exhausted to the point of collapse, she refused to allow Palpatine the satisfaction of watching her tremble.


    The Emperor spoke slowly, calculating, ?So tell me, my Hand. Have you completed your assignment to terminate the life of young Skywalker??


    ?No, Master.? He had not asked for an explanation and she didn?t offer one.


    ?You do not often fail, Mara Jade,? he continued with a hint of mockery. ?What prevented your success??


    ?He escaped.? An inaudible vibration of dark energy was gathering around them. Even if she had wanted to elaborate, speech was suddenly difficult in the oppressive air.


    Palpatine leaned forward for emphasis, taunting her, ?You will be interested to know that my spies tell me you made no attempt against the boy whatsoever.?


    Mara stared at the floor in front of her. There was nothing she could say that would not condemn her further. Now she simply clung to the hope of a swift retribution.


    ?Do you presume now to choose which of my commands you will follow??


    Again, she remained silent. Icy contempt descended from the throne like a fog and licked at her mind with poisonous fingers. Her pulse pounded against her temples, her vision tunneling before her.


    ?Ah,? the Emperor straightened. ?Perhaps Lord Vader can offer some enlightenment here.?


    Mara was peripherally aware of her master?s presence as he entered the room silently and took his place at the right hand of the Emperor.


    ?We are discussing the fact that your apprentice here has taken it upon herself to blatantly disregard a direct order. I would have thought that you had already instructed her about the hazards of disloyalty.? Palpatine?s voice grated in a menacing crescendo. He turned his attention to Mara, ?Get up, girl.?


    Her legs felt oddly detached from her body as she struggled to her feet and straightened her shoulders in quiet determination.


    The Emperor?s ominous voice pierced her with open contempt, ?It is time to end this pathetic farce. You do not serve two masters, Mara Jade. You will do as I command or you will face the consequences.?


    Mara glared at him, green eyes burning. ?I will not betray my master,? she answered calmly, proud that her voice did not shake. ?And I will not destroy his son.?


    Palpatine?s yellow eyes flared briefly with understanding before narrowing to dangerous slits. ?I see,? he hissed. ?It is not treason that compels you.?


    Rising slowly from his throne, the dark sovereign raised his hands threateningly, "Unfortunately, girl, your devotion is sadly misplaced!"


    Mara felt the first vicious assault of force lightning as her vision went white.



    * * *



    Vader watched as torrents of lightning flew from his master?s fingertips and his apprentice writhed in pain on the floor. He tried to remain detached, waiting for the lightning to stop. Surely the Emperor would not kill one of his own Hands. As soon as the thought entered his mind, he negated it. Of course he would, he was a Sith, like Vader himself.


    As much as he would have liked to deny it, his apprentice?s life was worth something to him. He inwardly cursed the weak man that still dwelled inside of him, the man that insidiously whispered that the ends did not always justify the means. In an intrepid moment of weakness, Vader stepped forward as if to intervene.


    The lightning stopped abruptly. Palpatine looked up at his servant with malicious intent. ?Do you wish to save this upstart, Lord Vader? I thi
     
  11. Darth_Suzi

    Darth_Suzi Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2004
    :eek: WHAT?!?!? :mad:

    *Smacks Vader*

    Luke can defend himself! Help Mara out! She's going to die! :_|

    ?Do NOT patronize me, Lord Vader!? the Emperor spat. Aww... Is Palpy feeling a bit insecure? ;) Actually, that's a good thing. :D

    Very good post that leaves me on the edge of my seat begging for more! And thanks for the PM!
     
  12. Obi-Zahn Kenobi

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 1999
    Now this was a very good post. One thing that I do not like in fan fiction is when the authors are totally unoriginal with their scenes. However, you have mirrored a scene from the OT, and made it seem original. The Emperor's banter with Vader helps very much.

    I enjoyed it muchly.
     
  13. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    Not a cliffhanger! :eek:

    Poor Mara, she's been deserted. :_| I hope someone will come to her aid. That force lightning has got to hurt. [face_worried]

    Thanks for the PM reminder of an update!
     
  14. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Uh oh, I thought Vader was going to help her. this doesn't look good for her.
     
  15. jade_angel

    jade_angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2001
    A fellow MJSFC?er!

    Yes well, with the EU turning to be a vast disappointment, where else is there to turn but fanfiction? ;)

    And ARGH! Evil! Leaving Mara like that! C'mon Vader, you save her!
     
  16. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Poor Mara! Surely something will happen to save her! Very intriguing take on the cave vision :)
     
  17. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2004
    Congrats rhonderoo!

    A wonderful update! (Of course they are all wonderful!) You guys raise the standards for great writing!
     
  18. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Darth_Suzi: Glad you liked it! rhonderoo is working hard on the next chapter.

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi: Thank you so much! We?re flattered and hope you enjoy the rest.

    StarFighter5: Thanks for reading! I know. Cliffies are torture to read but really fun to write. [face_blush]

    RebelMom: Roo cracked the characterization whip and vetoed my idea about that. ;) But it'll work a lot better in the end. Thanks for continuing to be our Most Loyal Responder. :D

    jade_angel: There are indeed many times that Mara and the EU do not play well together, LOL. Thanks for reading!

    Sabe126: Thanks for the feedback! I?m glad you mentioned the cave vision. We have to credit our silent partner, Qui-Gon Tim, for helping with that connection.

    VadersMistress: Oh wow ? thanks for the compliment!

     
  19. kristeh

    kristeh Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 24, 2003
    Wow, I'm nearly speechless with delight and amazement at these chapters! You've both done such an incredible job of making the story seem both original and familiar at the same time.

    Familiar because the characterizations are so good. I can "see" it all happening in my mind as I read. Your Vader and Mara, as well as Palpatine, are completely real and believable. Original because you've given the story such a unique twist-it keeps me guessing what's going to happen next.

    I loved how Mara discovered the truth about Vader's past and his relationship to Luke. I loved the confrontations between both pair of masters and apprentices. Vader's conflicts over his loyalty to Mara and to Luke is gripping, and I'm not sure what will happen next.

    I'm hoping Vader will somehow sneak back in and do away with old Palpster, but I'm more afraid that he won't, and that Mara will survive, but be an enemy now. She would be a formidable one, even for Vader.

    Anyway, this is a fabulous story! You're both extremely talented, and I can't wait to see what happens next. :)

    Kristeh

     
  20. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    I'm going out of town tomorrow and don't know that I'll be able to get online, so here's Chapter Eight. Thanks to my co-author for allowing me to bounce ideas of how to do this scene around in her brain. :D





    Chapter Eight



    The lift doors opened as Vader made his way down the catwalk. The sight of his son standing in the lift with the officers stopped him short. He quelled the feelings that were running rampantly through him, making himself sure of his shields. He had been surprised at the Emperor?s assertion that his son would come to him, but as usual, his Master had been correct.


    He vaguely heard the officer?s words as he handed the boy?s lightsaber to him. He could not take his eyes from his son. He reveled in being so close to him. My eyes. Why had he not noticed them before? Yes?my eyes, but her face. It took everything in his powerful body not to lose himself in the memory. He turned and started slowly down the catwalk.


    ?The Emperor has been expecting you.?


    For a moment his son stared into the obsidian lenses that had been Vader?s eyes to the world, and then he turned away, falling in step beside Vader. ?I know?Father.?


    Vader?s heart leapt. ?So, you have finally accepted the truth.?


    ?I have accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.?


    The cursed name jerked Vader back into the reality of the situation, lighting a small flame in his blood. He could feel the voice laying in wait ?gloating.


    ?That name no longer has any meaning for me.?


    Hearing the name of his former self twice in the recent past galled him. He meant to rid himself of the memory once and for all.


    Luke was clearly satisfied at his father?s insistent reaction to his real name. ?It is the name of your true self, you?ve only forgotten. I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn?t driven it from you fully.? Luke turned and walked to the edge of the catwalk.


    Vader knew Luke was using Jedi-voice manipulation. ?That?s why you couldn?t destroy me. That?s why you won?t take me to your Emperor now.?


    Vader admitted within himself the pride at Luke?s growth. He was truly a Jedi now. He ignited the blade of Luke?s lightsaber. ?I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. Your skills are complete. Indeed you are powerful, as the Emperor has foreseen.?


    He extinguished the saber?s brilliant green glow, turning away from is son; the feelings were strange to him.


    Luke turned to face his father?s back. ?Come with me.? The words were insistent, almost desperate.


    ?Obi-Wan once thought as you do.? How long had it been since he had thought of his old Master with something other than disgust? This would not do. He must gain control.


    Vader turned back to face Luke. ?You don?t know the power of the dark side, I must obey my Master.?


    Luke took a step closer. ?I will not turn. And you?ll be forced to destroy me.?


    ?If that is your destiny,? Vader said resignedly. He did not want to destroy his son, but the time had come. He could not defer, as he once had. Too much had happened. Too many had suffered to bring Luke to this point.


    ?Search your feelings, Father,? Luke implored. ?You can?t do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.?


    Vader would argue with Luke no longer. It was time for destiny to take them where it may. To continue would be pointless. ?The Emperor will show the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.?


    Vader opened the lift doors with a wave of his hand and signaled for the stormtroopers. He turned to Luke hesitantly, saying the only thing he knew for certain now. ?It is too late for me, son.?


    Luke nodded slowly. ?Then my father is truly dead,? he answered despondently.


    Vader watched warily as Luke was led off to the lift.


    Unbelievably, the other voice, the voice that had taunted him through the years, the voice that had beguiled him into taking an apprenti
     
  21. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    Nice take on that scene. I noticed that even Vader doesn't know what happened to Mara. I think Kristeh is right and she's now an enemy.

     
  22. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace Former RSA star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Woot! It's up! :D

    kristeh: Whoa. Thank you so much for the kind comments!! [face_blush] We're glad you're enjoying the story.

    RebelMom: Part of Chapter Eight is a viggie that rhonderoo wrote almost two years ago and I've always adored it. :) Can't really comment about Mara right now.... ;)
     
  23. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 25, 2003
    That was so sad! :_| Anakin's tough shell is slowly cracking, bit by bit. Hopefully it will crack in time to save Mara and Luke.
     
  24. Qui-Gon Tim

    Qui-Gon Tim Memphis, TN FanForce Chapter Rep star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2000
    All I can say is

    =D=

    BRAVA! BRAVA!

    Beautiful job, Trace and Rhonderoo! Absolutely beautiful!
     
  25. Sabe126

    Sabe126 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    His remembrances of Naboo and Padme were so sad. That was a brilliant look at Vader's thoughts and inner turmoil during that scene.
     
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