JCC What D&D Monster Are You?!

you posted stats from the D&D3E compatible D&D Minis game

 

I said I would!

 

Me! Meeee!

 

You are a clockwork swordman



You hail from the ancient world of Mystara, from the swashbuckling shores of the Savage Coast. You've been built by a powerful mage to serve as a bodyguard, and you are perhaps one of the best fencers in your whole world. You are intelligent, charismatic, and fearless. You are aware of your clockwork nature, which sometimes make you feel melancholic, and you don't really like serving some Mystaran warlock ***hole. Some clockwork swordmen become hosts to the wraiths known as "heroic spirits" and go rogue, becoming beloved heroes of their own, and you hope to become one of these. As you are a clockwork creature, you need to be rewound periodically, but your friends don't really mind doing it: it's worth it.

 

<Obligatory "me" request post></omrp>

 

I asked for old school and you gave me old school. I tip my hat to you, sir!

 

You are an atropal



You used to have godlike powers but now you are a being of pure evil. You are an extremely metal creature with hints of some really ****ed-up horror manga and the final stage of Vampire Savior, now that I think about it. Technically speaking you are an, and I quote, "unfinished immortal who has become an undead abomination", but that's PC as ****: what you actually are is an undead stillborn god fetus. God's abortion given necrotic flesh. A gargantuan putrid lump of hate and evil joined to hell's placenta. I can hear the distant thunder of one thousand doomcore bands after being faced with the existence of these abominations! I'm surprised that, for once, the Demiplane of Dread had nothing to do with this thing! You also have 66 Hit Dice. What the hell.

 

That's actually really cool.

 

Anything from Planescape is automatically cool.

 

I'm upping this thread, looking for new candidates to be monster-a-tized.

Dare to be monstrous!

 

I'll dab on some monsters.​

 

What is thy bidding, my Dungeon Master?

 

I'm pretty monstrous already, but I'm up for some extra monstrosity.

 

Ohhh, I'll play.

Amazing.

 

Put me in coach

 

Do it !

 

You are an autognome



You were created by tinker gnomes (steampunk gnomes from Krynn that should be exterminated before it's too late) to do menial labor and to fight their fights for them. You march into battle yelling your battlecry of "Crush! Kill! Destroy! Exterminate, exterminate! Maim! Hurt! Incapacitate!" which is kind of too long for a battlecry but whatever. You are not very well built, because you were built by ****ing tinker gnomes, so every time you are hit there's a 10% you will malfunction and your head will fall off, or you will try to nurse your opponent, or you will try to extract a mining sample from the chest of your closest ally (yes, these are all real examples). Despite all this, all gnomes seem to adore you.

 

Yes... Yes. I can work with this.

 

You are a ghaele



You are of the eladrin, an extradimensional species from the Outer Planes. Your people look like particularly regal elves and are to the primal lands of Arborea what devils are to Hell and angels are to Heaven... or used to be, until Fourth Edition changed you lot into regular elves with World of Warcraft eyes and some crappy teleport ability. But you are not one of those: you are old school. The other eladrin consider you a knight errant: you are kind but serious, and your appreciation of mortals and hate of evil make you get involved in their affairs more often than you should. So yeah, an elf paladin but actually kind of a celestial creature.

 

Lawful good? I'm not a cop!

 

Oh, the ghaele are wonderful. Thank you, Mr. Schwarz.

 

You are an ogre mage



You are a smarter and arcane-inclined offshoot of your better-known cousin, the ogres. Despite your intellect, you are actually larger than your dumber brethren, because sometimes the multiverse is alright, but unlike them you like dressing in rich silks and looking like (ya know) a normal person. You can fly, turn invisible, transform into a humanoid to lure naive adventurers to your fortress, and a host of other magical prodigies. Modern lore has decided to go straight to the source that inspired your creation and you are better known to the young'uns as an "oni", a move that has been considered positive by everyone save a few grumbling grognards.

 

Thank you, JTS! Yes, I am smart and I have been known to transform into a humanoid occasionally, so you got me there!