JCC What do you do to reduce your risk of death?

Also you have to factor in the danger of crossing streets and being hit by a bicycle or car. Ödön von Horváth was walking down the Champs-Élysées in Paris, and a tree fell on him, killing him instantly. He'd moved to Paris to flee the Nazis.

 

I don't have any funny markings above my name, so that probably reduces my risk of death.

 

To more things to do on the way to reducing my risk of death to zero:

Cut sugar from my diet
don't eat red meat or any processed meat

really, who would have thought that a diet of bacon-wrapped Mars bars would be unhealthy?

 

Fried bacon fries colons.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/16/health/coffee-reduced-death-rate-study/

doesn't hurt to be reminded.

 

Breathe.

 

eat fish.

Seriously. Omega-3, etc.

 

Smoke so I won't die of old age.

 

Are you suggesting I bomb Asian counties in my spare time?

 

No, that your personality is like Kissinger.

 

Why would I want to reduce my risk of death?

 

1. Gym five days per week

2. Meat only twice a week

3. Two litres of water per day

4. No carbohydrates between breakfast and dinner

5. Six hours of sleep

6. Keep my opinions to myself

 

^ You want to know what I think of #6?

 

Well you're still breathing so it can't be all bad.

 

That honestly made me laugh out loud so much.

 

goddammit, it seems that drinking alcohol as a means of reducing my risk of death to zero is not working out as well as I'd hoped.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news...hol-death-disease-study-beer-wine/1082443002/

 

Take food poisoning announcements seriously. I thought I was bullet proof from that...uh, nope.

Lots of water
Exercise
Positive thinking
Not stressing

 

This is one instance where I wish I were part of the "fake news!!!1!" cult.

 

I didn't know alcohol consumption could cause TB. I thought it was an imbalance of humors.

 

RIP binge drinking, killed by calls to individual responsibility which have never solved any other drug crisis ever but will work this time I guess.