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Before - Legends What Dreams Know (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon Single Post)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LuvEwan, Jan 9, 2008.

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  1. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    What Dreams Know
    Written by LuvEwan

    Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Bunny courtesy of shanobi?all the good ones tend to be.

    Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. AU-ish.

    --

    He learned to be prepared to let things go.

    It was the rational way; so few things could remain the same forever. And some things, some hopes, never formed outside the secluded landscape of the mind. Clasping onto a feeling-or a person- with both hands was never smart, for so quickly could it all run through the tiny cracks between his fingers.

    Still, he had allowed himself to want. He had looked into a pair of eyes and seen what could be his future, what he had worked his whole, albeit short, life for. A last chance, and his instinct was to grasp on, to silence the voice in his veins, to say ?yes?.

    But when he looked further into the horizon of those eyes, he saw more than his own potential tomorrow.

    And he released the notion of accepting what was placed before him. He took a half step back from the man. ?I?I?m sorry? he gulped out the words, forcing himself not to look at his boots, or out the window of their room on Bandomeer, or anywhere but the quietly expectant face of Qui-Gon Jinn, ?I am very grateful for the offer, but I? cannot be your Padawan.?

    The Jedi Master blinked, surprise seeping slowly into his blue gaze. ?I-I don?t understand.?

    Obi-Wan could feel his heart in his chest, in his throat, behind his temples. He thought he would crumble, that all of his bones and guts would turn to dust at this venerable man?s feet. Was this happening? Was he actually doing this?

    After the desperate appeals to Master Jinn, the promise of loyalty and obedience, the incredible, exhilarating moment when he was finally given the opportunity to serve beside the Jedi?s resident rogue, while on the cusp of death itself, Obi-Wan was rejecting the apprenticeship. He knew where it would leave him, back in the Agricorps protecting crops instead of peace, tending soil rather than treaties. He could admit, it was not what he would choose for himself.

    The Force, however, never asked what path he would prefer his life to take. It was the only option he could take, to honor his training, and serve the innocent. To become this man?s Padawan would be?

    No. Better not to finish the thought. What good was happiness if he knew it would be fleeting, and would ultimately cause darkness, strife, and horrible pain? That was what he sensed, seconds after Qui-Gon called Obi-Wan ?Padawan?.

    The title felt right to Obi-Wan. But it sent a cold roil through the Force.

    How could he deny that, in order to satisfy his selfish desires? ?These past few days, I?ve?I realized I?m not meant for this. I can?t do it.?

    Qui-Gon frowned. ?Obi-Wan, I know that you?ve had a rough time. You left your home, you thought your dream of Knighthood was over. And this ordeal with Xanatos. Everything seems to have hit all at once, and it can be overwhelming.? He moved forward, and placed a warm, broad hand on Obi-Wan?s shoulder, ?You risked your life to stop that bomb, young one. You say you can?t do it, but you have already acted as an exemplary Jedi.?

    Obi-Wan curled his fingers up against his palms. He was shaking. ?That was just a day, Master Jinn. It was just adrenaline.?

    But Qui-Gon shook his head. ?You haven?t thought this through.? The grip on his shoulder, both his shoulders now, strengthened, ?Eat something and sleep. Mediate. Give this the deliberation it deserves.? Softly, ?We have time.?

    Obi-Wan watched him start for the door. He wondered if maybe it was nerves or exhaustion, maybe even fear. Was he superimposing his emotions onto the Force, so he wouldn?t feel like a coward?

    He closed his eyes. Screams, clouds of blood and smoke, the thunderous, dreadful echo of hard footsteps.

    Your fault. YOUR fault.

    He lay back on his bunk, and waited for the words to fade. They never did.

    --

    Qui-Gon wasn?t sure where to go. He had not planned on the conversation going as it did. Especially since Obi-Wan Kenobi
     
  2. Master_Tigris_Leigh

    Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2004
    Wow. [face_hypnotized]That was amazing! Great to see you back on the boards! Or maybe I've just missed you? Anyway, awesome job, really unique take on how Obi-Wan perceived his future. =D=
     
  3. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    ?C?mon,? the boy prodded, nudging Obi-Wan, ?We should do it together.?

    Obi-Wan looked back over his shoulder. The man in the cowl was watching them, but said nothing. Obi-Wan couldn?t even see his mouth anymore.

    He laid his palm against the door. It was cold. He flexed his fingers, and scratched.

    Layer by layer, the door fell apart.

    The light-haired boy kept stealing glances at him, beaming even as sweat rolled down his determined face. ?See? It?s happening! Because of me! Because of you!?

    Because of them, the door finally disintegrated.

    Obi-Wan couldn?t breathe.

    Everywhere, bodies were tangled, legs and arms and slick, gray tentacles and blood-matted fur. Endless eyes gaped at him, shining and unblinking and still. A hand grasped his shoulders, and he turned.


    Too bad that dream/vision/whatever didn't show Obi-Wan how to avoid that future.

    Sometimes, he started to look at Qui-Gon, at his life, and saw massacre instead. In those instances, he could barely stand to be near his teacher, the Jedi, anyone.

    He let it go.


    How...haunting and beautiful, like all your stories. You have a way of really disturbing the reader. ;)
     
  4. ratna

    ratna Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2007
    OMG this is so powerful!

    Blow me down.

    Sometimes, he started to look at Qui-Gon, at his life, and saw massacre instead. In those instances, he could barely stand to be near his teacher, the Jedi, anyone.

    He let it go.


    whoosh!

    and bravo!=D=
     
  5. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004

    A gripping story to the end

    Excellent=D=
     
  6. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    As always, your stories are powerful, heart-gripping and devastating to my emotional balance. I loved that Obi-Wan was having visions enough that he'd be willing to give up his life-long dream of becoming a Jedi. Too bad the visions didn't show the ending, that his part was also to bring new life to the Jedi with Luke. He could only see the guilt.

    Great job. Loved it.

    Sometimes, he started to look at Qui-Gon, at his life, and saw massacre instead. In those instances, he could barely stand to be near his teacher, the Jedi, anyone.

    He let it go.


    :_| :_|

    Brilliant.
     
  7. jedidas3

    jedidas3 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 25, 2007
    What an incredible piece of writing. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading it. You have such tremendous insight into these characters and it is truly reflected in your writing. Well done!=D= =D=

     
  8. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    As always the emotion you evoke leaves me nearly breathless. You make me feel a part of your story rather than just an observer. I've found that to be rare in the fan fiction world. It's a wonderful talent.

    Writing like this is why I will always return to this fandom :) Beautiful.

    --shan
     
  9. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I was so thrilled to see a new work by you! [face_dancing] Your writing is always spectacular, and this piece was certainly no exception!

    After the desperate appeals to Master Jinn, the promise of loyalty and obedience, the incredible, exhilarating moment when he was finally given the opportunity to serve beside the Jedi?s resident rogue, while on the cusp of death itself, Obi-Wan was rejecting the apprenticeship. He knew where it would leave him, back in the Agricorps protecting crops instead of peace, tending soil rather than treaties. He could admit, it was not what he would choose for himself.

    The Force, however, never asked what path he would prefer his life to take. It was the only option he could take, to honor his training, and serve the innocent. To become this man?s Padawan would be?

    No. Better not to finish the thought. What good was happiness if he knew it would be fleeting, and would ultimately cause darkness, strife, and horrible pain? That was what he sensed, seconds after Qui-Gon called Obi-Wan ?Padawan?.

    The title felt right to Obi-Wan. But it sent a cold roil through the Force.

    How could he deny that, in order to satisfy his selfish desires? ?These past few days, I?ve?I realized I?m not meant for this. I can?t do it.?


    Every word was perfect. There was nothing extra and nothing lacking.

    Simply superb! =D=
     
  10. Cole_Kenobi

    Cole_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Wow. I'm speechless. This was absolutly brillant. The way you write is just inspiring. It's just marvelous.

    This story carried within it so much pain, worry, and fear for the future and a slight disregard for said worries. My gosh, how much this story struck home was odd to say the least. A lot of time, when I read a story it's usually just entertainment, plain and simple but I saw part of myself in this story which was neat to say the least.

    You've wrote this so perfectly I don't know how to begin to tell you.

    Amazing job. Brillant story.
    =D=
     
  11. Blue_Lightsaber42

    Blue_Lightsaber42 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2007
    Woohoo! This is so awesome! Forgive the newbie for being excited. She gets to comment on a good story that isn't locked and 3 years old.[face_dancing] Excellent job!=D=
     
  12. Meredith_Kenobi

    Meredith_Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2005
    I wonder if that was the dream Obi-Wan was talking about when he said "dreams pass in time?"

    This was so powerful, so surreal. And so flippin' well-written. Bravo. =D=
     
  13. ardavenport

    ardavenport Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Oh, very nice, very intense. Such an intriguing situation for Obi-Wan to be turning down his dearest dream of becoming a Jedi Knight. To save others. He's that kind of person. But Jedi let things go and that overrode the forebodings. And Obi-Wan taught the same thing to Anakin, which didn't work. Hmmmmmmm, I suppose Qui-Gon would have given Anakin the same lesson if he were his master.

    Dreams pass in time I suppose, but it makes me wonder how many Jedi were having visions and dreams about what was coming during the Clone Wars? I suppose that's why Sidious needed a war to catch the Jedi off-guard - it would be tough to distinguish between the everyday carnage of a war and the oncoming Order 66.
     
  14. DarkAnakinfan

    DarkAnakinfan Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2005
    Wow. This was just beautiful. So haunting. I am just speechless. It makes me wonder how many Jedi were having visions that they just ignored. Fantastic job.
     
  15. padawan_learner86

    padawan_learner86 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2005
    Amazing, so very intense! =D=
    I felt so sorry for Obi-Wan, his pain, his doubts, his panic were just tangible. [face_love]

    Damn, here was a small hope for the gallaxy to maybe prevent the slaughter (though no one wants to see Obi-Wan unhappy), and you have to have him let it slip away. :_|

    Marvellous.
     
  16. Jinngerbread

    Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2007
    Wow, LE, you never fail to amaze me. That was just so gorgeous. [face_love]

    I'm not sure what to say about Obi-Wan actually accepting his offer and letting things go. I imagine it wasn't so easy after Anakin fell and he was on Tatooine.
     
  17. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Wow, that was so hard, and so beautifully written. My heart broke for Obi-Wan. And I was sorry that Qui-Gon seemed to dismiss his worries. If only he hadn't.

    But still, all the mush makes me so happy. [face_love]
     
  18. emjoelle

    emjoelle Jedi Knight

    Registered:
    Jul 18, 2006
    Sometimes a story sticks out and begs for a comment. This is one. Excellent job.

    After all, did his darkness-streaked visions of monsters as a crecheling materialize in reality?

    ...the symbolism there and the events to come. I got a chill. =D=
     
  19. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I really liked it- how about a follow up??
     
  20. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    My dear, that was simply beautiful. I have no words to express the depths of it. I have tears in my eyes. I've missed your writing so much. :D. Obi-Wan's feelings were so well expressed, as Qui-Gon's desire to set things right. And yet, they have their secrets within each other. Somehow, it seems to be so inevitable, unstoppable. And that makes it all so tragic.

    Wonderful.
     
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