Discussion in 'Revenge of the Sith' started by mynameismyown, Sep 17, 2005.
Hahaha, good times.
And another answer to what ever happened to Cliegg Lars? ....
The Tusken Raider's came back for him - piece by piece.
An arm, a leg, another arm.
got sent to prison for "touching" r2
(At all the jokes in his thread)
What happened to Cliegg Lars?
After the death of his beloved wife and partially due to the trauma suffered from his serious injuries, Cliegg Lars slipped into a state of poor mental health, resulting in premature alzheimer's.
Not even a new prosthetic leg could raise his spirits.
As his behaviour became more erratic Cliegg even began to mistake his hover-chair for the toilet.
In time Clieggs behaviour worsened and fearing that they may be taken off the Jedi adoptive agency list, Owen and Beru decided that they would have to 'be rid' of Cliegg.
Hutt law however outlaws euthanasia so the Lars family had to seek alternate means to end the 'problem'.
They got back in touch with the junk dealer Watto who was in desperate need for some business to come his way in order to settle a few debts.
Watto gave the Lars family use of his second hand Carbon freeze utility. It was a crude machine but it would be adequate enough to freeze Cliegg for his journey to oblivion.
And so Cliegg was lowered in, hover-chair first and before he became distressed, Owen hit the switch and Cliegg was no more.
The end result was just what Owen and Beru wanted. An end to theirs and Clieggs suffering as well as a new decoration for the bare boned Homestead. The frozen Cliegg and hover-chair were mounted upon living room wall where he would remain for several years.
Many years passed and the Lars family received a very welcome call. A man claiming to be Ben Kenobi, friend of Anakin Skywalker, made contact with the Lars family and told them that they had been selected from the adoptive agency list to parent the son of Anakin, Luke Skywalker (Jedi Knight and friend of Captain Solo).
Despite being overjoyed at the news the Lars were still troubled by financial issues. Raising a child isn't an easy life and bares very little reward. Its also highly expensive. As Beru sifted through many ideas for work, from being a personal sex slave to Jabba the Hutt to being a dancer in one of the local seedy Mos Eisley clubs, Owen took some 'private time' in the family room and stared upon his father.
As the desperation grew, Owens eyes descended from the face of his father, down, down...but then stopped midway. The answer hit like a gun-dark.
After releasing the hover-chair from the carbonite, Owen headed off into town. Fortunately hover-chairs are hard to come by of late with the current trade disputes in the outer rim, so Clieggs expensive device picked up a good price in the Mos Eisley Markets - 8,000 rupees to be exact.
The money was enough to take care of Luke's child care until the end of the harvest and there was still enough to pay Watto to have Cliegg frozen again.
This time however, the hover-chair was obviously no more so the Lars family had to agree upon a new position for Cliegg to take. The end result was a delight to all whom visited the Homestead...
...all except poor little R2D2. He was still traumatised by events that took place many years ago on the 'farm'. He could never forgive Cliegg 'Chain Smoking' Lars for what was patronisingly called "touching up". That's why when he returned all those years later he attempted a desperate escape from the place that held so many terrible memories for him. R2 envied 3PO. He wished he could have his memory erased.
What happened to Cliegg Lars?
The Jawas attacked him for his chair.
Any LAdies out there who would MAKE IT with Clieg?
I know what happened to him.
Cliegg died the most horrible, most tragic, most utterly painful death to ever befall an innocent human being. He died of....
Owen and Beru are still grieving.
It's a little known fact that in AOTC, Cliegg didn't own the moisture farm, he rented. After Shmi's life insurance paid out, Cliegg had only one thing left to do. He went out and *rimshot* bought the farm.
Cliegg Lars left Tatooine and began a career as a space pirate. He got a wooden leg to replace the one he lost, and then to really add to him becoming a pirate, he had his left hand chopped off and had it replaced with a hook.
Insurance policy, eh? No wonder the Lars' just wanted to sit around and drink blue milk while Anakin hunted for Shmi...
I think Cliegg figured he'd spend retirement off of Tatooine: too many bad memories, and I'm sure the sand wreaked all kinds of havoc in the gears of his hoverchair. He made it as far as Anchorhead but couldn't get his chair past customs - so he settled for mixing drinks at the local sports bar and watching podraces.
Your Cliegg Lars' Dead Son; Accept it.
Cliegg Lars, the story you didn't hear.....on the next E! True Hollywood Story
The story of a man, and his fall from grace, or, actually maybe he fell of that cliff in the moisture farm. You know, the one where Uncle Owen always yelled from? Maybe he fell of that ledge one day. Maybe he was tipsy from all that blue milk. That would explain why he looked like a drunk. He really started hitting the blue milk bottle hard after he fell of the ledge. The pain of losing the limbs resulted to an addiction in pain medication. After that, he turned to death sticks. He was eventually banned from all the local bars in Los Isley. With all his profits being spent on his addictions, he was losing the moisture farm. So he cut a deal with the sand people in order to collect that life insurance policy on Shmi. What a bum.
Can we go back and look at the photo's again? Tell me that is not the face of a desperate man...
No,no DarthDubya05, it goes like this:
"This topic's dead,son.Accept it."
You should ask me about this stuff, I'm a veteran of this profession
his got BLAW BLAW
smakdown wid da jawus and dere gatz
no need for hate.
and he kept going and going and going.....
"It was...soap poisoning."
Cliegg it is said had very serious issues with the HOKIE POKIE... I think the part about putting your leg in then shaking it all about,,, this made him feel so depressed that he wnet into hiding for the remainer of his life.
On the first page they mention something about if he died in the gap between AOTC and ROTS that his gravestone would be seen on the farm when Ben arrives with Luke.
Can you imagine the Star Wars extra super special edition where they add his gravestone to the farm and then go back to put the eye scar on Anakin at the end of ROTJ?
Someone ought to make a comedic fan film about all the things that happen to these secondary characters. Dexter, Watto, Cliegg, the Kaminoans etc etc.
I took care of the Jar Jar one by having Dash Rendar scraping what's left of him off of the Outrider in the background as Han and Chewie walk past to check in for the Kessel Run but this other stuff would be hilarious to see. It has to be done well though. Like Kevin Rubios "Troops". Very original and sneaky.
who cares about this guy, he was only in aotc to show that anakin's mom did not get sold to some bad guy and it also led us to where luke lives for 20 years and connect the trilogy just alittle more.
that's what makes all of this so funny. He's a secondary character used to advance the story. But the things people have come up with here, man. Hilarious stuff.
One last good bump for what I consider the best humor this side of the Boards *raises glass* Here, Here!
Cliegg was out picking mushrooms from the moisture vaporators when suddenly he was attacked by the Tuskens. His hover chair wasn't fast enough so they captured him, tortured him like they did to Shmi and then ate him. That's why he has no grave 'cause they ate him. Just a theory.