JCC What have YOU learned lately?

Yesterday I learned that it was National Siblings Day (in 'Murica only apparently), which was very important because I, along with others, needed that reminder to know & appreciate how much our siblings mean in our lives. Thank goodness! I'd be an emotional wreck today if I'd missed that.

 

I'm an only child and am offended by said holiday. I ask- nay, I demand they cancel the city Siblings' Egg Hunt and remove the Siblings Day tree from the state capitol.

Oh, and today I learned that The Avengers was originally slapped with an R rating in 'Murica.

 

I have recently learned that the world is in the thrall of 13 foot lizard people disguised as 6 foot humans. I have also learned, however, of their weakness. Although they hold all the reins of power, are incredibly long-lived and practically indestructible, they cannot - if asked directly - deny that they are, in fact, lizard people from outer space.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/02/25/louis-ck-donald-rumsfeld_n_828284.html

 

Thanks to my friends here on the JC, I decided to educate myself about the New World Order. Luckily, there is a website, educate-yourself.org, that provides a high level of detail about all the super-secret goals of this organization.

I find that I'm very sympathetic to its population control goals, e.g. reducing the world population to about 1.5 billion, and would very much like to join. However, I can't find the New World Order website, so I don't know where to go to sign up and pay my membership dues.

 

I learned some adjudication procedures in the inventory software I'm supposed to be using instead of posting here right now.

 

How to calculate limits using the limit laws and continuity.

 

Oh, and thanks to Mortimer Snerd I also learned today that pyg is ancient Greek for butt.

 

How to formalize the basic assumptions of category theory using standard set theoretic notions.

 

I just learn new and more frustrating ways that customers can be annoying sacks of ****.

 

I learned that Nick Fury appreciates Pulp Fiction.

 

I learned that Think Geek is selling Doctor Who slippers, including of the K-9 Variety (paging A Chorus of Disapproval)

 

I learned this from Rogue_Ten 's FB page...

Gerbils will mate for several hours, in frequent short bursts followed by short chases, when the female allows the male to catch her. Once he catches her, the female will squeak and make flick motions to get the male off her.​

​

meanwhile, fat-tailed gerbils:​

The mating ritual of the fat-tailed gerbil is rather unusual. Both male and female stand on their hind legs and wrestle, making squeaking noise. They never seem to actually bite each other, but they get rather rowdy. If the female is not receptive and the male doesn’t give up, the female will turn and kick bedding at the male. [...] the females can be very aggressive when they are pregnant or nursing pups. They will attack the male, and even kill her mate if he is not housed separately after mating has taken place​

 

that first section is really just an excerpt from my dairy

 

I learned that there are actual mentally challenged people who....get this...who don't like The Beatles.

 

I think I've learned my monologue for our church's annual Passion Play. Less than a week until opening night, so I'd better have it down by now. Let me see if I can type it from memory. This is Judas, speaking from the grave on the day after the crucifixion:

Have you ever had the best of intentions, only to find out later that you completely misunderstood the situation?

Have you ever hurt someone terribly, and then been too full of shame and pride to ask for forgiveness?

Do you know what it's like to see your own worst enemy staring you in the face every time you look in a mirror?

I do, and I will regret it forever.

I thought I knew what the Messiah was here to do. I wanted to believe that he would sweep away our Roman oppressors, and restore the throne of David to its rightful place in the new and glorious kingdom of Israel. And I was poised to be in the right place at the right time. But he was too busy, healing cripples, dining with tax collectors, and alienating everyone who was in a position to help him.

I was angry at him for not meeting my expectations. He had the power and the popularity to seize control, and instead, he was feeding beggars, and washing feet.

It was bad enough that I forced his hand, just because I was impatient for him to take his rightful place as our Messiah. But when I realized he had no intention of taking over, when he let himself be led away like a lamb to the slaughter -- I tried to stop it! It was never my intention to have him killed!

After he was sentenced, I could have found him in the Roman compound. I could have gone to him at the cross. I had plenty of time and every opportunity to confess my involvement and ask his forgiveness. But I didn't.

I told myself that my treachery was too great, and there could be no forgiveness. But I underestimated his mercy. I underestimated his love. And I know now that he would have forgiven me because it was his plan to die all along. I can see that now. I can see everything!

I limited his intentions and his mercy to the boundaries of my own understanding. And that is my greatest regret.

 

What Mrs. K and I do in our bedroom is our business, do you understand?!

Sarge - pretty good, man! "Faster, more intense."

 

The guy who did the artwork on the original Bazooka Joe comics also did the art for Tijuana Bibles earlier in his career. Work's work, I guess.