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Saga What I Really Feel ~ One Poster, Padme POV

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by HandmaidenEirtae, Mar 16, 2003.

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  1. HandmaidenEirtae

    HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2001
    *waves*
    Hello! I posted this a while back on the now "Classic" board, but I decided to put it up here, too. I hope you enjoy it. :)

    Disclaimer: GL owns Star Wars. I do not.

    ******

    It was another night on Naboo. Another dinner, and, I expected, another uncomfortable night spent in the lounge until the silence becomes unbearable and I?ll walk away from him again.

    Why do I always feel so horrible when I walk away?

    The cook had prepared a fabulous meal, and I had dressed a little more conservatively. I have been very mindful of my outfits since that night two days ago. He, on the other hand, was just as handsome as he's ever been. Only now his smile ? that I find so charming and enchanting - was a little more timid.

    Conversation at the table was slow, almost forced. Once, he really had me laughing with some ridiculous story about Obi-Wan falling into a pit of Gundarks, but even as he grinned broadly, telling me of the daring rescue he had pulled off, his smile suddenly dimmed, and he looked down at his plate. I suppose he was remembering how I had spurned him just days before.

    As the servants were clearing away the dessert dishes, we rose and walked into the lounge. I led the way, and he walked a few paces behind me. Two nights ago he had been by my side, his hand brushing mine. Then I had found his touch gentle and reassuring. Now I felt strangely alone by our distance.

    As we entered the room, I had to ask myself why we keep coming back here. If I had any sense left in my brain I would stay away from dark rooms lit only by fireplaces ? and him. At least we?ve taken to sitting on opposite couches.

    He started talking first, much to my relief, asking me questions about Naboo and my life here. Soon I was telling him stories of the past, when I lived on my lovely home planet and not on Coruscant.

    "It was the silliest looking creature I've ever seen," I said, smiling slightly at the memory of a fluffy pet. "But I wouldn't leave my parents alone until they'd bought him for me. He was all dirty and ragged, and my parents kept asking what I ever saw in him."

    "I would have asked the same thing," Anakin replied, leaning back against the couch and lacing his fingers behind his head.

    I forced my attention away from him to the little pet I had had when I was younger. The dorrik had been a battered creature, but I remember looking into his eyes at the shelter and seeing hope and love and helplessness. I realize now how was silly it was, that animals don't have emotions that are that complex, but it had snagged my innocent child?s heart. "He needed me," I said. "And I needed to take care of him."

    Anakin's eyes lit up, and he smiled. It made my breath catch. He leaned towards me, staring at me with wide eyes. I could faintly feel his breath on my face.

    "And I, Padmé," he said softly, "need you."

    I shook my head. It was a reflex, really; I wouldn't even consider his words. My reason had already decided that I should not talk discuss this with him for a second time.

    "No, Ani, not again," I replied firmly. "I refuse to discuss this again." Quite frankly, I don't think I could have refused him again. I rose to sweep past him, but he caught my wrist quickly. His palm was warm, but his fingers were like ice.

    "Padmé," he whispered, his eyes pleading. "Don't leave me."

    His eyes were whirlpools of dark emotions, growing larger and larger and threatening to pull me down into their bottomless depths until I couldn't breathe. They had a power, greater than any I've ever seen in the most charismatic politician and a helplessness that called to my heart with such intensity I didn't think I could resist. I tore my eyes away and looked down at the floor, my breath shortening. And then I realized that I never could leave him.

    Madness! my mind screamed. Reason rose up against my heart, cutting off its gentle whispers to succumb to his love. There has never been any room for love in my life, not since Palo. I have come to realize that love is always a m
     
  2. tun_dot_com

    tun_dot_com Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2002
    That was awesome! Are there gonna be any more in the future? :)
     
  3. HandmaidenEirtae

    HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2001
    tun dot com - I'm glad you liked it. :) Hopefully I'll be writing more Padme/Anakin vignettes, but DRL is being kinda harsh these days. :(
    Tae
     
  4. Hananiah

    Hananiah Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 15, 2003

    This is a wonderful! very well written and you can see how much Padme wants to love Anakin but can't
    Well done!!!!
     
  5. DarthBreezy

    DarthBreezy Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2002
    What a sad, bittersweet tale...
     
  6. HandmaidenEirtae

    HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2001
    Hananiah - Thank you very much. :D I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    DarthBreezy - Yes, but it ends up happy... Well, no it doesn't. But it kinda does. They do get married. ;)

    Tae
     
  7. REBADAMS7

    REBADAMS7 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2001
    Well Done.
    I can see her - in her chamber, torn and confused!
    reb
     
  8. ChinchillaFairy

    ChinchillaFairy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 2, 2002
    beatiful post!
     
  9. HandmaidenEirtae

    HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2001
    REBADAMS7 - Shesh, with Hayden as hot as he is, I can't believe she was ever confused at all! ;)

    Thanks, ChinChillaFairy! :)

    Tae
     
  10. Knight-Ander

    Knight-Ander Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2002
    Another well crafted viggy, Tae. :)
     
  11. JediHunterCommand

    JediHunterCommand Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2003
    Nice detail about Padme not crying. It makes perfect sense.

    Well done. Very bittersweet.
     
  12. HandmaidenEirtae

    HandmaidenEirtae Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 23, 2001
    Thanks, Knight Ander. I'm glad you liked it. [face_blush]

    JediHunterCommand - Thank you. :) I sent it to the archives, but haven't heard back yet. *crosses fingers*

    Tae
     
  13. -LadyVader-

    -LadyVader- Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 2002
    This is great, Eirtae! I really, really hope you get it into the archives...It definitly deserves it! *wink*

    -LadyVader
     
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