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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

What if Darth Maul had captured Queen Amidala?

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Darth Pipes, Aug 12, 1999.

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  1. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Like I said, I'm at the point of the story I'm not exactly sure where to go at. How will it all brew out. I can see a long story come out of this. How does Amidala convince Maul to spare the others? If Maul does and I think she can convince him, this will bring up some intersting changes.

    1) Qui-Gon will never be able to tell the Council about his Chosen One theory.
    2) He won't formally introduce Obi-Wan and Anakin.
    3) What about Sabe, who is still disguised as the Queen.

    I'm not sure how to go on with the story. Where to move it from here. If anyone has an idea or a story, you can definately pick up the story. Sorry if I've rambled here.

    Darth Pipes
     
  2. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    OKay.let's me give this a try.

    *********************************************

    Darth Maul looked at Padme with curious malice. She looks like a mere servant[/i}, He thought, Is this a trick?

    He glanced at the boy,who was grasping in short,laboring breaths holding on in Maul grip on his throat.He raised Anakin toward Padme and looked at her with probing raptor-like stare. "The Queen or the Boy." he restated.

    Obi-Wan nudged back into conciousness.He could barely see (more like sensed)Padme,Maul ,a strugling Anakin,and rest of Naboo gaurd who were standing around helplessly. He cursed himself for letting his anger get the best of him,as it just made matters worse.

    Padme steeled herself,looking straight at Maul. "I am Queen Amidala." She replied,more sternly this time,"My idenity must be protected at times.I'm the one you want.Let the boy go." She chose her words carefully.

    Maul grinned showing his yellow teeth evily.The wind from the half-opened hatch ramp blowing through his cloak.She must be hiding something."You don't know his name?" He asked mockingly.

    Obi-Wan tried to relax and mediate despite his neverousness.He must be prepared for any opening by Maul,who was increasing in confusion,irratation...and anger.'The Dark Side rarely used the Force to seek knowlege' Yoda's words,he thought comforted.He reached out with the Force slightly to cloud Maul's mind in confusion,taking a risk in esclating the two two feelings

    Anakin tried to control his fear and concentrate between breaths.He didn't know why Padme was calling herself Queen Amidala,but sense that Maul would hurt her or hurt him to get to her.He couldn't let that happen..he just couldn't.

    Anakin slipped his grip unto Maul's wrist,on top of his comlink and instinctive pressed some buttons and he glanced over at Padme pleadingly.It's was a desparate move,but hopefully....


    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-10-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-10-2000).]
     
  3. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Good start!

     
  4. Amidala22

    Amidala22 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 1999
    ok here's try....i'll fix it if not enough or right for the story
    **************************************

    Panaka suddenly got an idea, if by some chance Sabe could fill in for the Queen all would be saved and as would the planet of Naboo. The only problem, which is Sabe would be in danger and Padme would have to do some convincing under the cover of a servant instead of herself as Queen Amidala.
    Exchanging a glance with Amidala the captain spoke clearly and smoothly,
    "We will show you if you just let the boy go."
    The dark Sith laughed at the captain and Padme's confidence started to slowly fade.
    "You must think I cannot see through your little plan. One mistake and you'll pay and anyone who opposes me will die. The boy will live if I get the Queen, then I'll leave you to your worthless lives,"the demon like face stated harshly.
    "Will you spare the lives of all people on board including the Jedi, boy, and the queen once you reach Naboo?" Padme questioned.

    The Sith turned his wicked eyes towards her and replied,
    "Give me the queen, no tricks, and you may keep your lives. One mistake and the boy dies. I'll spare the Jedi if he doesn't move. A mere padawan can not dare defeat me. No tricks, girl!"
    >>>>this ok? <<<<
     
  5. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    It's OK,I guess.Any other comments on the story entries so far.
     
  6. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    It's good. Definately continue. One thing to note is that the starship is currnetly in space so that will have to be resolved. Also, I can see Maul taking Obi-Wan's lightsaber for a psycological edge.
     
  7. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Forget the starship in space. I've gotten a chance to read this thoroughly now. Great job offsprey5 and Amidala22!

    If you can, definately picked up the story. I have an idea for a section that will come later if the story follows the path I think it will. Keep up the good work!

    Darth Pipes
     
  8. Darth Jigglypuff

    Darth Jigglypuff Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 9, 2000
    Darth Pipes,offsprey5 and Amidala22 you guys rock !!!
    Please write more soon!!!
     
  9. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    *********************************************

    Ric Ollie was holding the ship in semi-circluar pattern a few meters above the upcoming dunes.Trying the follow every order in last letter till told otherwise,he was trying to keep from Mos Espa and other cities to keep there presence unknown. he couldn't set off for space because the ajar cargo bay ramp,which was also causing considerable drag.

    "I wondering what happening down there." the navigator blurted out with an exasapated sigh.He had already set the navicomputer for possible hyperspace jumps and now just had to wait.

    He just given words to Ollie's own frustration. "I don't know,"he replied,"We need to hear from them soon though.Hopefully, no one got.."

    The ship's comlink flipped on with ragged,high-pitch gasps.A low,stong voice cooned in the background.It was Panaka. "We will show you.Just let the boy go." A chill overtook Ollie suddenly.

    The navigator nearly said something when he was hushed by Ollie with a fingerpoint. Just then,a hoarse,demonic laugh crackled over the com in reply. "You must think I cannot see through your little plan. One mistake and you'll pay and anyone who opposes me will die."

    Oh,no. He thought

    He continue listening to the conversation as tension built up. Was this Panaka's way on saying to do something? What could he do?

    Ric looked at the com officer,who had look of dread on his face,with glance. Where

    The comm officer looked at the screen and shook his head. don't know

    The comm officer tuned the controls and began to hear a tell-tale sound of a fairly strong breeze. With a brighted look,he mouthed "Cargo Bay."

    Ric Ollie got his answer.He mouthed to the other officers. "Evasive". They braced themselves.

    "No tricks,girl..."

    Ric Ollie headed for a pocket of turbulence and jerked the lateral controls into it,at the same time,pressing upward on the elevators.

    The ship lurched violently from aft to stern as it hurdled sideways and rolled to the left.
    *********************************************
    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-11-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-11-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-11-2000).]
     
  10. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    *********************************************
    The cargo bay heaved arruptly to and fro, knocking Maul and the others off-balance.

    Flailing his arms abit to try to catch his balance,Maul hurled Anakin into the ajar ramp with only a slight sleeve tug for resistance,causing Anakin to hit his head and began to slump.

    Now Obi-Wan leaped and flung himself at the Sith Lord ,lightsaber ignited.

    Maul moved to block the incoming blow,but Obi-Wan,who was in full concentration,stopped short on the space and redirected his thrust.Maul had to shift hastily to avoid the blow,which seared through his cloak. Obi-Wan followed up with under-over oval parry that caused Maul to move back futher in the bay.

    The ramp opened up widely,reviving the semi-consious Anakin with a gust of fresh air,and the sensation of nearly rolling off the ledge. Anakin,bug-eyed,desparately grabbed onto the lip to keep from falling out. He opened his mouth to scream,but it was dampening by the wind. "AHHHHHHH."

    Padme got to her knees and looked in the direction of the open cargo ramp.In the heat-induced haze,she saw a pale-faced Anakin lying percariously on the very end of the ramp,straining to keep from going off.

    She crawled to him to help."Ani!"

    She eased onto the ramp,trying breathe through the rushing hot wind.It fluttered suddenly in the turbulence. Padme had to flatten herself almost completely to keep from being bounced around. When she turned in Anakin's direction...he was gone.

    Obi-Wan was holding his own against the Sith Lord--blow-by-blow,parry by parry,but they were so close to one another Panaka and the other guards could only watch.Firing on Maul might hit Obi-Wan.

    "Oh,no,Ani!" Padme cried,looking all over the ledge. She could hear him screaming barely.She crawled closer to the ledge,finally seeing two small hands grasping the ledge in a utter death grip.

    She peeked over and Anakin bug-eyed and gasping. "Pamde,help me!" he screamed between breaths.He looked straight up as if actively fighting the urge to look down.

    Padme carefully firmed her grip onto Anakin wrists. How am I going to do this?
    "I'll try." She replied,trying to fight back tears.

    Maul lunged at Obi-Wan with an overhead strike,which Obi-Wan blocked. Maul quickly sommersaulted over and behind Obi. Panaka saw an opening and fired,glancing Maul back.

    Maul landed with a warrior's grace but enraged.Stabbing backwards without looking,he cut Panaka's pistol in half and force-blasted the other guards into the blukhead. Obi-Wan spun around and cut by Maul from overhead.

    Maul,gripping his saber like a staff and turning clockwise,blocked Obi's strike with most of his gurth. Stepping forward suddenly,he shoved Obi-Wan out unto the ramp.

    He tripped on Padme,causing her to loosen her grip on Anakin.

    Darth Maul walked unto the ramp with a low rummling chuckle. "You were slightly better than I thought,padawan." He said. Obi-Wan was alomst flat on his back barely grasping his lightsaber with one hand."But,now it's over."

    Maul strikes the deathblow. Obi-Wan suddenly
    arched forward,with one hand,lunged at Maul in a upward stroke.

    Both sabers' blades struck their counterpart's emitters,destroying both sabers.

    Both Obi-Wan and Maul were stunned at this for a moment.Maul stepped back quickly and force blasted Obi-Wan off the ramp.

    Obi-Wan instinctively grabbed onto Anakin's ankle,causing him to yelp in pain and loose his grip with Padme completely."AHHHHHHH!!!"

    "NOOOOOOOOO!!!"Padme cried,bursting into full tears,as she saw both Obi-Wan and Anakin fall toward the ground.

    Darth Maul grinned sadistically and he grabbed Padme and closed the ramp with the Force completely. "Less to worry about." he chuckled.

    *********************************************

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-11-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-11-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-12-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-12-2000).]
     
  11. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    That was outstanding offsprey5! Even I didn't see that one coming. Keep up the good work!
     
  12. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Also, I have an idea for a new character who can emerge as the story continues. I let you know if the story follows that direction. Once again, great work!

    Darth Pipes
     
  13. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
  14. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    Ok. I'll continue.

    *********************************************
    From their point of view,Buffered by the gushing sound of hot air behind them,the Royal starship looked as if was rocketing away from Obi-Wan and Anakin.

    Obi-Wan saw the ramp closing,then he turned his attention to the ground.He began reach out with the Force toward large dune that caught his eye.

    Anakin,still feeling Obi-Wan's grip on his ankle,just looked up at the ship with eyes open and mouth agape. For some reason,he wasn't afraid enough to close his eyes,or maybe it was too afraid to do anything. He noticed a shiny dome-shaped object moving quickly along the back edge of the ship before it became too small. R2 ,he thought,as he strained to watch it fall. His thoughts soon became crowded: Of his mother;of his past and possible future life; of Padme.

    Just to be shaken for his stupor by a sudden lateral motion of control flight.

    They both landed with mild THUD .Anakin laid there,feeling the sand between his fingers; gathering the courage to move. He finally lurched up;saw Obi-Wan standing and looking around.

    Anakin got up quickly and dusted himself off. He look up in the sky again. The ship was completely gone now.

    *********************************************

    I write more later tonight. What do think so far?
     
  15. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Very good. It will be interesting to see how the Obi-Wan/Anakin relationship progresses. Obi-Wan might dislike Anakin because Qui-Gon was killed going back for him. I might jump in in the future to add something but keep up the good work.

    Darth Pipes
     
  16. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    OK,my next post will about 6:30-7:00 PM CST.

    thanks
     
  17. Darth Predator

    Darth Predator Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 1999
    Good very good....
     
  18. Amidala22

    Amidala22 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 1999
    offsprey5, i'd like to add in again if you don't mind, just tell me after your next post when to continue. Thanx..
     
  19. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    ********************************************
    Obi-Wan finally looked in the direction from which they fell from and began walking porposely in a quick juant.

    "Hey,where are going?" Anakin began to follow when a soreness in his right ankle,where Obi-Wan had grab him,caused him limp mildly,fustrating his attempts to catch up. "Hey,hey," he called out,limping faster now,trying to ingore the flare up of pain which found voice anyway..quite literally "WAIT UP,OK?!"

    Obi-Wan scanned ground as he walked a fair distance.He slowed and knelt down on a spot where he dug out the remains of his lightsaber. The bell emitter was cleaved almost in half.Carbon scaring caked around the edges,and scent of ozone lingered. He flipped it around to see that a small wedge-shaped chunk had been taking out the compartment that housed the circuitry.He wouldn't know if the circuitry itself was damged until he got inside.

    Anakin slowed when he saw Obi-Wan stopped.He felt something clunky inside his tunic,rubbing against his belly. He reached in and pulled it out. It was the dark warrior's wrist comlink.

    Obi-Wan turned around to see Anakin approach in his genernal direction,but Anakin seemily occupied by something that,from the way he handling it,looked like a portalable holo-game with a strap araching from its sides. "What is that you have," Obi-Wan asked slightly disgusted at the boy's seemingly nochalance,"A game?"

    "Nah," Anakin replied,still tranfixed by the device,"It's from that Dark Warrior guy. What did you find?

    Obi-Wan pursed his lips,"My lightsaber," he replied,trying to shake the feeling that this sounded as if they were on some goofy treasure hunt and it now tell-all time,"What's left of it."

    "Oh," Anakin glanced fully this time,"Can it be fixed?" His glance shifted downward just as quickly. "Hey,this signal getting stronger..."

    "LIsten,we really need.." Obi-Wan started,tired of having Anakin divided attention--just as high-pitch hovering sound became louder behind Obi-Wan.Something that was fairly big and fast.

    Anakin looked at a snap from loud noise just to see Obi-Wan barely flip out of the object way. "Oops,em." he slid his finger on a dail and the object skid past him and slow to a stop.

    It was some kind of speeder bike. An purplish oval shape with a large,open notch cut out of it for a cockpit.

    Anakin looked around at Obi-Wan and shugged.Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and sighed.

    Anakin approached the bike slowly.It lurched forward an inch suddenly caused Anakin to stop in his tracks. He stepped again and the bike lurched again rythmically to and fro like wounded but defensive opie.

    Obi-Wan ran up toward Anakin."Be careful."

    Anakin was stepping aside but with the bike trying to find a way to get on while not getting in its way.He looked at the comlink tiny screen again,which was flickering in same pattern as the bike gyrating. "This controls it," Anakin said,buckling it to his own wrist,"but something is messing with the signal."

    "Alright,"Obi-Wan replied,now behind Anakin,"let's me handle this."

    Obi-Wan force-leaped onto the speeder bike.It stopped.

    Anakin climbed into speeder behind Obi-Wan."What is this doing?" Anakin asked,thrusting the wrist comlink in Obi's face.

    Obi looked at the display carefully."Looks like a distress signal.Wait," He pulled out his comlink,which was beeping at the same rythm,"Yes,it's on all bands."

    Anakin brighten in suddden realization, "R2.It's R2!"

    "Are you certain?" Obi questioned.

    "Yes," Anakin replied urgently, "I saw R2 fall off the back of ship."

    Obi-Wan sighed. he found the controls to the speeder bike's scanner and flip it on. "Okay,I'm getting a signal,340 metres southeast."

    "Let's go." Anakin replied,setling in the back behing Obi-Wan.

    Obi turned the handlebars and hit the accelerator. the speeder bike hummed to life and moved in that direction.

    "Hey,we make a great team!" Anakin commented,shouting to be hear in the wind.

    "We do?" Obi-wan replied,with raised eyebrows.

    Anakin stuck out his hand. "I'm Anakin Skywalker,by the w
     
  20. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Good job on the Anakin/Obi-Wan relationship offsprey5. They do seem to forget about Qui-Gon being dead but we could work that in there. Like he said, Amidala22, when your ready, take it away. And once again, great work offsprey5!

    Darth Pipes
     
  21. Lwyn`nya Kenobi

    Lwyn`nya Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 19, 1999
    Ummm, hate t'spoil a good thread but . . . didn't a certain Padawan just lose the life of a certain Jedi Master?

    Just thought it might be something going through his head sometime *really* soon!

    Other than that, great story!!
     
  22. Amidala22

    Amidala22 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 1999
    So i get the emotional time of thread, eh? my pleasure!!!
    **************************************

    Obi-Wan's mind was in turmoil as he drove the speeder bike to where the little R2D2 unit was transmitting its signal. The little boy, Anakin, was holding onto Obi-Wan rambling on how he was finally free and how he needed to find Qui-Gon.
    The kid must have lost it! Qui-Gon was dead! Didn't the kid realize that when Qui-Gon fell off the ramp and hard into the sand. No, don't think about that...the mission we must get back onto the ship. Why am I saying 'we'? The kid should stay where it's safe. But Qui-Gin so wanted to bring him to Coruscant. I'll bring him along for My Master. Nothing else.
    Obi-Wan gritted his teeth and slowed down as they started to set down to retrieve the little droid.
    "Hurry, Anakin. We must find a way to get back to the ship! The pilot is only circling til the sith gets Queen Amidala and leaves with her!!"Obi-Wan said with patience yet with urgency. The young boy nodded and as heconnected the droid to the speeder and daring childish idea popped into Anakin's mind. When Obi-Wan turned to the boy he suddenly had a bad feeling about what the kid was about to say......
    >>> <<<
     
  23. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Keep up the good work Amidala22!
     
  24. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    That was good. but,the ship finally gone up into space pretty soon after the ramp was shut.

    And Lwyn' nya Kenobi and Amidala22 , Obi-wan does want to find Qui-Gon's body to give him descent funernal either there or somewhere else. He figured if he can give Anakin what he wants quickly,then he would be free to do just that.

    Anyway,still your thread Amidala22 . Keep up the good work.

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-14-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-14-2000).]
     
  25. Lord Sith

    Lord Sith Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 1999
    Can anyone add something?

    ----------

    The Nubian shot through the atmosphere like a silver bullet, entering the cold vastness of space.

    Inside the ship, the cargo hold was silent. Yet the carnage that had been wrought only moments before was clearly displayed by the blood drenched walls, the mangled limbs, and the sickly stench of death.

    Amidala, still garbed as the handmaiden, Padme, glanced up at the dark being who stood before her. She tried to meet his bloodshot gaze boldly, but could not. It was simply too much.

    The Queen of Naboo crumpled to the ground, sobbing softly.

    The Sith Lord waved his hand over her head, bringing the dark side of the Force to bear. The sobs suddenly ceased as her body went limp. She was unconscious.

    With a silent grace, Darth Maul spun, and marched toward the cockpit of the ship.

    He did not notice, or simply did not care, that behind him, the unconscious form of Panaka began to stir.

    Before the Sith reached his destination, a door to his right burst open, revealing two of the queen's handmaidens, hefting hand held blasters. They screamed at the sight of Amidala, limp on the floor.

    With amazing accuracy, they let loose an onslaught of laser fire toward the Dark Lord. However, at an inhuman speed, he ducked the blasts, and sprung toward the handmaidens like a wild animal.

    The dark warrior delivered a swift side kick to the girl closest to him with devastating effect. Her jaw shattered like porcelain.

    The second handmaiden got a single shot off, which was expertly jumped by the Sith Lord. With a gesture of his hand, the blaster went flying from her grasp. With a second gesture, the girl opposing him was sent flying backward. She made contact with the wall behind her with a sickening crunch.

    The Dark Lord continued toward the cockpit as if nothing had happened.

    ----------

    The door hissed open, and the cloaked warrior entered. From either side, crimson blaster fire burst forth toward him.

    Flipping backward, the Sith avoided the deadly blaster fire. Calling upon the power of the dark side once more, Darth Maul flung a massive crate toward the attacker on his right side, hearing a satisfying crunch as durasteel met flesh. At the same time, he leaped forward, and delivered a lethal jump kick to the man on the left, breaking his neck instantly.

    The pilot at the controls swung around to face the cloaked terror, blaster in hand. Before he could get a shot off however, the blaster suddenly blew up in his hand, and he fell to the ground, screaming in agony.

    The dark warrior loomed over him, grasping the pilot by his hair, and lifting him to eye level. "Fly this ship to Naboo, now."

    Through cries of pain, the pilot replied "B-But, I c-can't, my hand. . ."

    The Sith Lord's yellow eyes seemed to shimmer. "You will fly this ship to Naboo, now.

    Darth Maul let him drop to the floor. Without a word, the pilot moved toward the controls, plotting in a course toward Naboo.

    Meanwhile, Maul went in search of a holo-projector. He needed to make contact with his master. His mission was complete.

    ----------

    ~Lord Sith~
     
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