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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

What if Darth Maul had captured Queen Amidala?

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Darth Pipes, Aug 12, 1999.

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  1. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Great job Lord Sith!

    offsprey5 e-mailed me with an idea for an upcoming scene but the floor is still yours Amidala22. Just let me know if your gonna take the next post.

    Darth Pipes
     
  2. Amidala22

    Amidala22 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 1999
    May I take the floor now? I have an idea to get Obi-Wan and Anakin somewhere !!
     
  3. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    Yes , Amidala22 , you have the floor.

    By the way,what is your e-mail addy. We could plan this a little via e-mail. Don't you think?
     
  4. Amidala22

    Amidala22 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 1999
    ok it's Star_Moon22@hotmail.com
    **************************************
    After Anakin explained how to get on the ship, Obi-Wan quietly replied the ship was out of the system already and there was no way to catch it. Anakin argued that what could they do since Qui-Gon couldn't help them and they didn't know where the ship was going.
    "I know where it's going,"was all Obi-Wan would say.
    Obi-Wan once again calmed his emotions, but he felt like part of him had died the minute Qui-Gon fell off the ramp to the hot sand of Tatoonie. Anakin was still smiling, but his expression was more sad and confused.
    Looks like the kid is finally realizing what happened. Qui-Gon had given me some money from winning the Podrace it might be enough to get us to Naboo or Coruscant. I have to take the kid with me at least so the council can see him. I can at least do that for Qui-Gon...
    Obi-Wan's eyes start to water as he drives towards where Qui-Gon might lie. Wiping them away, he turns to Anakin who looks up at him.
    "Anakin, I'm going to take you with me to Coruscant at least. Right now I would like to find Qui-Gon and prepare and rightful burial for him,"Obi-Wan's face and voice was calm but his eyes were wet and betrayed the pain in his heart. Anakin nodded his young face seemed to sadden more. Looking up Obi-Wan saw Qui-Gon's body lying motionlessly in the sand. For some odd reason he had a foolish hope Qui-Gon might be still alive.
    >>>>hmm? interested? i thought this cliff hanger was hopefully dreadful to wait for me to continue but hey I need a little feedback on what should occur.<<<<
     
  5. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    I e-mailed you with some of my ideas? do you need Datrh Pipes or me to continue?
     
  6. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
  7. Darth Predator

    Darth Predator Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 23, 1999
    Could I join in???
     
  8. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Of course. The rest of us though have to get an idea were we are going.

    Darth Pipes
     
  9. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
  10. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
  11. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    Ok. A short scene but hopefull poinent (sp?) one.

    *********************************************

    Darth Maul walked into the lounge bay where he found a holoprojector he could use.
    Unknown to him,or prehaps again he didn't care,Jar-Jar was resting his eyestocks nearby with his large bell-like feet on top of the corner table. His back was turned toward Maul.
    Maul actived the controls and punched in the secret frequency band. Darth Sideous's form appear in miniture in a blue,flicking light.

    Sideous looked up and met Maul's gaze. "Maul,what news do have for me?"

    Maul look steadily at Sideous,"I've succeeded,my master.I have captured the queen and we are now en route to Naboo."

    Sideous cracked a very small grin. "Excellent,my apprentice,you have done well."

    Jar-Jar stirred slightly and opened his eyes. He pointed his eyestocks toward the talking that woke him,seeing a horrific horned and tatooed being talking a hologram of some hooded figure. Jar-Jar fought to quietly gulp down a lump that quicly surge in his throat. Perhaps,if he stays perfectly still,that thing won't notice.

    "Tell me,what of the Jedi?"

    "It was as you predicted,my master,",Maul answered,straightening up to his full height and eyes brightening with sadistic glee."The Master fell quickly." Maul grinned widely as he said this,but he paused,"The padawan was a little more,"he paused again,"persistant,"

    Sidious let out a small chuckle and nodded.

    "but he too fell to his death." Maul continued.

    "Do you have their bodies?"

    Maul's smile disappeared;gave Sideous a questioning look. "No,my master."

    Sideous pursed his lips a bit at this statement."You have done very well,my apprentice,"he finally said,"suppassing my expectations.You shall be rewarded."

    "Thank you,master."

    "Perhaps you can have one of the handmaidens,if that suits your fancy."

    Maul grinned."Actually,my master,I did have one in mind."

    Sidious raised a pointed finger at Maul. "Remember,my appentice,you must get the queen to sign the treaty with Trade Frederation first." He said sternly. "You will then help rule Naboo until I contact you futher."

    "Yes,master," Maul nodded deeply, "I will not fail you."

    Sidious nodded back and the hologram flickered off.

    Jar-Jar breathed deeply as Maul turned and began to walk out. Suddenly,Maul turned sharply and met Jar-Jar's stare. Just as quickly,Maul raised his hand and,using the force,spun Jar-Jar's chair hard causing Jar-Jar to hit the ground.

    The startled Jar-Jar started scooting toward the back of the room while looking at Maul the whole time,trying get as far way with ihm as possible. "Waites,pleasee," Jar-Jar pleaded,"Mesa just here.Mesa dids nuthing. No' nuthing."

    Maul studied the gungan with sinister smirk. The gungan's fear was obvious and open. Maul reached out with the dark side of the Force. An outcast ,He thought, hated by his people and the Naboo .

    "You are like the boy." Maul spat out.

    Jar Jar stop his shivering when he heard this. "The boysa? Annie...where isa he? Justa askins?" Jar Jar smiled wide from end to end of the long snout; unconciously letting out a nervous giggle,trying to act braver that he was at the moment.

    Maul snorted,rolling his eyes coyly,"He is dead. Fell out of the ship." Maul eyed Jar Jar directly,"do you want to join him?"

    Jar Jar imediately shook his head wildly."No,No. Mesa don't wanta. Mesa donna any troub-ble."

    "Good," Maul replied, "Stay out of my way.Patheic Lifeform"

    He turned and walked off.

    Jarr was left trembling. He mummbling to himself. "Qui-Gon gonna,Annie gonna."
    He thoughts repeated his words. Qui-Gon Jinn,the Jedi who befriend him and save him from being stoned by his own people.Anakin,the boy that got the parts for the ship.the boy that was friendly to him.

    "Mesa no good.Gonna be deada soon."He moaned.

    He thought stranglely of Padme--the handmaiden who was nice to him,at least. anakin liked Padme. She not dead yet,he could...he then sighed and shook his head; tried to push such foolishness aside.

    *********************************************


     
  12. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Very good, offsprey5. Liked the interaction between Maul and Sidious.

    Darth Pipes
     
  13. fett 4

    fett 4 Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 2, 2000
    Cool story please continue but i was just wondering why Obiwan and Anakin dont use Mauls ship.
     
  14. Darth Mulacki

    Darth Mulacki Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 4, 1999
    YEAH taht would be cool.
    i can just see obi-wan flying the infiltrator.

    BTW Nice story

    Mulacki
     
  15. Amidala22

    Amidala22 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 1999
    the fans are reading our minds,hmm not good this is!!!

    don't worry I'm trying to pull a few things together. Offsprey u got my e-mail right?
    well on with a very short piece. sorry...
    *****************************************

    Obi-Wan and Anakin approached the lifeless form of Qui-Gon Jinn. Anakin's face showed shock and pain, even Obi-Wan's calm face was now filled with sorrow, grief, and loss.
    "Um..that is Qui-Gon?"Anakin inquired still in a stupor, and Obi-Wan simply replied,
    "Yes."
    The young boy walked slowly to the motionless body and tears felled as he saw the calm, kind face of the Jedi Master. Obi-Wan suddenly came beside the boy and reached down to touch slightly the now cold face. Kneeling beside his master, Obi-Wan's calm dimeanor and intense dtermination broke. Tears fell from his face as he mourned his friend, master, and surrogated father. Anakin standing by Obi-Wan spoke softly,
    "What are we going to do now?"
    "The Sith had to come here by something, and juding by his face an attitude I doubt he came by another's ship. That watch you wear is something beeping?"Obi-Wan replied.
    "Yes. It's kinda weird though."the boy answered.
    "That can wait, I must give Qui-Gon a rightful burial..."


    >>>Offsprey5 it's your turn or Pipes' to do the flashback or whatever....by BTW this good?<<<
     
  16. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Very good, Amidala22

    Actually, I have something planned right now. offsprey5 can handle the flashback if he would like.

    *********************************************

    Naboo

    The image of Darth Sidious appeared on the holo-projector in the Palace Throne Room. The Trade Federation Viceroy, Nute Gunray, rushed to face it. He bowed before the image.

    "Lord Sidious."

    "Viceroy," Darth Sidious said. "Lord Maul has captured the Queen and will be bringing her back to Naboo to sign the treaty. They will return on board her royal starship shortly in three days."

    "This is great news indeed, Lord Sidious," Gunray said. "Now that Naboo will be ruled by the Federation...

    "The Sith will rule Naboo," Sidious interupted sternly. "The Federation is still of use to me. Do not overestimate your worth, Gunray."

    "Yes...yes, of course, my lord," Gunray said, attempting not to tremble with fear. "I, like the entire Trade Federation, serve the Sith."

    "It would be wise of you to remember that. Make preparations for the treaty signing. I will handle the Senate's actions in this matter. I also want you to crush any resistence left on the planet."

    With that, Darth Sidious image flickered and disappeared.

    Nute Gunray stood nervously for a moment. He was beginning to wonder more and more if this alliance with the Sith was a mistake.

    Just then, Governer Sio Bibble was brought into the room by two battle droids. Gunray remembered that he had ordered the droids to bring Bibble before him so he could attempt to have him sign the treaty in the Queen's absence. That would no longer be necessary.

    "Ah, Governer," Gunray began with a smile. "I have some news that you will find most interesting. Queen Amidala has been captured as is being brought back to Naboo to sign the treaty."

    "No, no, that is not right," Bibble tried to explain. "The Queen will never sign the treaty. We are a democracy...

    Gunray held up one hand, cutting Bibble off.

    "Since we now have the Queen, we no longer need you."

    Gunray turned to the battle droid on his right and said, pointing to Bibble

    "Kill him."

    Sio Bibble's eyes went wide as the battle droid stepped in front of him, raised his weapon, and fired a lethal shot into Bibble's chest at point blank range. Bibble was dead before he hit the ground.

    Gunray ordered the droids to remove Bibble's dead body from the throne room. The droids dragged the corpse out of the room, leaving a trail of blood on the floor. The Viceroy reminded himself that he would have to have it cleaned up.

    Shortly thereafter, OOM-9, the droid commander, came into the room. He turned to the Viceroy and said

    "My troops are in position to begin searching the swamps for these rumored underwater villages...they will not stay hidden for long."

    "Good," Gunray said. "See to it that all resistence on the planet is crushed. Nothing must stand before us."
    *********************************************

    [This message has been edited by Darth Pipes (edited 01-19-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by Darth Pipes (edited 01-19-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by Darth Pipes (edited 01-20-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by Darth Pipes (edited 01-23-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by Darth Pipes (edited 01-26-2000).]
     
  17. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    *********************************************
    Obi-Wan sighed as he wiped his face.He looked around,wondering if there was anything else besides what he had on him that he could use to build a decent funeral prye. Most pryes were usually build on worlds with fairly plentiful resources at hand.

    But not here,not on Tatoonie--a desert planet.Hardly anything could be seen that would remotely build a prye.

    Anakin was looking around the speeder bike and a small compartment. opening it,he found a few poles and a couple of flat,dull blades.
    Artoo beeped questionly.

    "Hey,Obi-Wan," Anakin called out as he was trying to fit the poles together, "I think we can dig a hole with this." Anakin grabbed the newly constructed handle and brought the rest of the pieces out in the open.

    "Well,that's a start." Obi-Wan replied. he kept glancing at Qui-Gon's body,which was crumpled over and nearly face down in the dirt. A feeling of indigination rosed up in Obi-Wan as he scooped down to put Qui-Gon in a more diginifed position. His sudden movement got response from Anakin,who looked up from his building and looked in Obi's direction.

    As Obi-Wan picked Qui-Gon's body up from the ground. Anakin spotted a black rod with shiny metallic casings and a bright red button in its place--Qui-Gon's lightsaber.

    Anakin crawled over the hilt and picked it up. As he held held in his hands,Anakin knew that this was the first sign to him that Qui-Gon was a Jedi. He even told Qui-Gon this:

    'I saw your lasersword,only a Jedi carries that weapon.'

    Anakin remembered Qui-Gon's reply:

    'Maybe I killed a Jedi and took it from him.'

    'Nah,'Anakin said back,'No one can kill a Jedi.'

    The ironic tones of those words kept up and Anakin like a fist. The sicken thought came over him. Was he guilty? Was he the cause of Qui-Gon's death? Anakin became shaken with sobs as the tears flow freely.

    Obi-Wan looked at Anakin,who was now crying profusely,holding his master's lightsaber. Artoo was beeping remorsely.

    Anakin looked at Obi-Wan.He succeeded briefly to stop sobbing and hold up Qui-Gon's lightsaber. "I...I.."but he couldn't say any more.It hurt too much.He began sobbing again.

    Obi-wan reached out with the Force and knew what Anakin was thinking and feeling. Now,Obi-Wan felt thoughly embarassed for entertaining those very same thoughts earlier.

    Obi-Wan sighed,"It's not your fault." He gently reached out and took the lightsaber from Anakin. with that,he got up and began to plot the place for a trench and a resivior. he had an idea for a pyre.

    *********************************************


    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-19-2000).]

    [This message has been edited by offsprey5 (edited 01-19-2000).]
     
  18. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
  19. Darth Mulacki

    Darth Mulacki Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 4, 1999
    As i said nice story

    Mulacki
     
  20. Darth Jigglypuff

    Darth Jigglypuff Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 9, 2000
    Love the story so far, please hurry with the next part!
    Btw since Obi and Ani are still on Tatooine maybe you can get Shmi?
     
  21. Darth Pipes

    Darth Pipes Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 12, 1999
  22. Darth Mulacki

    Darth Mulacki Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 4, 1999
    come on post a new part

    Mulacki
     
  23. Shadowen

    Shadowen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 11, 1999
    Double post. OH, BUGGER!

    Buggerit, buggerit, buggerit.

    [This message has been edited by Shadowen (edited 01-22-2000).]
     
  24. Shadowen

    Shadowen Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 11, 1999
    Know what bites? There's no hooded Darth Maul icon. That would rule.

    Anyhoo, I'm writing an alternate ending to Episode 1 in which Maul wins, the Trade Federation still loses, but the new coolest Sith on the block captures Amidala.

    Unlike this show, it is not meant to be family entertainment. (At the beginning, that's more of a "wince wince, grunt grunt" than a "wink wink, nudge nudge".)

    I just wanted to say that. And what would your opinions be on such a thing, if it were written perfectly?
     
  25. offsprey5

    offsprey5 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 18, 1999
    pretty cool,Shadowen. Where will it be posted?

    Anyway,back to the story
    *********************************************
    Tatoonie

    Obi Wan and Anakin finished constructing the unusual prye,which consisted of a shallow trench where Qui-gon's body laid and a fairly deep pit at it head where they had made a batch of molten plasma glass.Obi-wan used Qui-Gon's lightsaber to ingnite and stir the mix of metal fillings Qui-Gon's saber-recharger belt and slowly-added sand.

    An usual prye for an usual man ,Obi-Wan quietly observed

    Anakin kept staring at Qui-Gon body."Should we say something?"

    " A Jedi funernal is a time of quiet reflection." Obi-Wan replied,his voice giving a hint of unsureness at the end. This was his master,his teacher,his best friend for the last thirteen years he was buring now. He wish he could have done more for him.

    Anakin quickly stepped forward, "Mr. Qui-Gon ,sir," he began, " I didn't get to know you for long. My friends have know me longer. The townpeople have know longer. Mom,longest of all,of course." He paused and swallowed. "But you believe in me. The others..well except for Mom,and Kistler,thought I was a dreamer. Thank you for my freedom and thank you for trying to free Mom." He straighten up. "I promise to become a Jedi and try to complete what you started. To free Mom and the rest of slaves," he paused "and help Padme." His thoughts dwell on her.

    Obi-Wan was little taken back by the heartfelt words of the boy. What could be my master thought was so special about him. He thought.

    Anakin turn to Obi-Wan with a shrug "I not a jedi yet,so..."

    Obi-Wan pressed his lips together and nodded in agreement. He glanced over to the body, shifting his eyes to Anakin one last time quickly. "Goodbye,Master. My friend."

    With that,Obi-Wan broke the barrier bwtween the pit and trench,allowing molten glass flow into trench,making it wider and deeper with gathering sand as it enveloped Qui-Gon's body, burnig it instantly.

    Anakin stood there stonely quiet as he watched,the glow of the molt liting his smooth face. He couldn't shake a premination of a deepen future dread.

    "Anakin," Obi-Wan spoke up, "After this,we shall see where that beeping on that comlink with take us."

    *********************************************

    The next post will "The Sith Ship" one, i promise.
     
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