CT What if Plinkett reviewed the OT?

Would he say, "How did the Empire come into power?" "Why can't stormtroopers shoot?" "What's with these silly Death Star weaknesses?" "Where's the Emperor and what's his name?"

 

He did an audio commentary on EP IV

 

He already did.

 

I would love him to review the Special Editions.

But not The Clone Wars. That film & series is PERFECT!

 

What did he have to say?

 

/RLM voice:

"And here's the biggest issue with the ****in movie. A problem so glaring and obvious that any sane human being who subjects themselves to this worthless piece of **** film is forced to throw their arms in the air and shout, 'What the ****!'

How does it make any sense at all that Darth Vader is Luke's father?"

Edit: Gotta star out the whole word(s).

 

I linked to it in the post you quoted.

That was a joke, though. Here is his commentary for ANH, which is basically the same as a review.

 

He would say, "I just watched a great movie that became one of the most popular movies of all time, won 7 Oscars, and spawned sequels, prequels, books, etc.

 

I can already see it:

ANH starts up and....

"restore freedom to the galaxy"

Yeah...that worked out well considering the Empire's just fine in the next film.

The stormtroopers are literally the dumbest fighting force on the planet. The Rebels are all lined up in the corridor in front of them but instead of throwing in a grenade, tear gas, or some other incapacitating agent first, they just rush right in like the idiots that they are.

"Set for stun" is literally never used again in any of the films or in any instance besides the capture of the princess. Why didn't Vader just stun Luke the multitude of times he had him within his sight in later movies? The world will never know...

The Imperial officer who let the pod go is a huge moron. Why is it that for the heroes to even have a chance in this film, their enemies have to display a level of competence equatable to a dog trying to fix a ceiling fixture? The pod has no life signs???? Apparently, it never crosses this genius' mind to think that the plans, in whatever form they were stored, wouldn't be giving off life signs. Moron.

Wait....If the plans were originally beamed to Leia's ship from the spies, why does she have to take the plans to Alderaan herself? Can't she beam it to someone else? Wouldn't it be best to share the plans with the rest of the galaxy? Or at least have multiple vessels in the Rebellion with copies of the plans.

"a diplomatic mission to Alderaan"

Yeah....no. No one takes diplomatic missions to their own planets. The Senator from Iowa isn't on a "diplomatic mission" to Iowa when he's heading home. Here's what a diplomatic mission is:

A diplomatic mission is a group of people from one state or an international inter-governmental organisation (such as the United Nations) present in another state to represent the sending state/organisation officially in the receiving state. In practice, a diplomatic mission usually denotes the resident mission, namely the office of a country's diplomatic representatives in the capital city of another country.

So Leia must think that there's nothing but hot air in Vader's helmet if he's going to buy that. Or she's an idiot. Seems to be a running theme in this film.

Anyway, that's just the first few minutes. Honestly, I could keep going (and going...and going), but given that I love ANH and I think the things I've brought up are nitpicky as heck, I'll just end it there. But...yeah...that's how RLM would "review" the OT if he applied the same standards as he does the PT.

 

Maybe it was that time of the month?

 

"Oh great! The fat guy's named Porkins! Real subtle there, George!"

 

So he likes ANH then, does he? I haven't listened to any more than the first few minutes but I think I heard something like 'flaws to be sure' but 'a near perfect movie'?

 

"WHAT'S RIGHT WITH YOUR FACE!?"

 

Then there would be one more youtube video that keeps my attention for 30 seconds before I click over to Weezer bootlegs or soccer highlights instead.

 

I doubt even RLM would be dumb enough to attack the OT, even if they did hate it (they don't). The amount of hate mail they got from their rants on the PT was extraordinary. Doing that for the OT would be suicide.

 

In this essay:

http://acertainpointofview.net/?p=1479

a person comments about how, even at the time ESB was aired, there were people writing Plinkett-style reviews heavy on the nitpicking.

 

you have to remember the OT was not universally loved, incredibly popular as it was , but id say derided among a lot of the 'cool' film reviewers, i think the review backlash 1999 onward was trying to reign in Lucas. Being a Star Wars fan would get you labelled as a geek, it was always a problematic stance to take, tho you were with a big crowd collecting action figures like mad

 

I'm talking if they reviewed them now, though, and attacked the films. ANH, and the OT in general, has achieved an 'untouchable' status among the public. In '77, people may have hated the film, but that's not the case now.

 

i think it depends where you are.....in the UK we have a comedy program called 'Never seen Star Wars' Star Wars has never been 'cool' thats what made being into it.... so cool

 

Men. Still wallowing in their fantasies about women.

 

I guess he could do one focusing entirely on the Special Editions.

 

Plinkett can review a good film, his Star Trek 2009 review proved that. I would love an audio commentary track of Ep. V.

I am not sure even the SE warrant a full Plinkett review, however I would love to see him pick apart Lucas's changes and the logic behind them.