What is "vingklaffsfri"?

Eh? What is this crap?

OK...so I'm sitting on a chair tied together with Lynx? Wow...what a story

 

Ahem.

*starts reading again*

OK, my apprentices, this is from The Bacta War by Michael A. Stackpole.

The man, whose hair was a short bristle of white and gray, dwarfed Gavin and even made Huff look small. Where his left eye had been, burned a red replacement, though his right eye was a normal brown. "Come to deal, have you?"
Corran gave him a hard stare. "Listen pal, you can leave right now because your dealing days are over." Thinking back to the cantina, he let a smile slowly spread across his face and jerked a thumb over his shoulder back at Mirax.
"That's Mirax Terrik, Booster Terrik's daughter. If you know what's good for you, you'll go."
The large man stopped, his jaw hanging open, then he reared his head back and laughed.
Corran turned and looked at Mirax. "How come that scared people at the bar, and this guy laughs?"
"It worked on the people at the bar because they're afraid of my father." Mirax smiled sheepishly at him.
"And what's wrong with this clown?"
"Well, Corran," she winced, "he is my father".

*looks expectantly at Lynx and Jawa*

 

*spitts Enji in the face*

haha...old vampyre you don't fool me with your tricks

*singing* He's got the whole world in his hand...

 

Hey... that wasn't very nice of you!

*tapes Jawa's mouth shut with some of the duct tape*

 

mrrghgrhrmmm...


<begins thinking about Natalie Portman>

<thinks about his extremely beautyful co-workeress>

<drools so much, that the duct tape peels off like a hansaplast in a swimming pool>
ha-HAA! Now I can speak again!
Someone get me up.
Before I have to sing, and that's something no one wants to hear...

 

Why? I can't believe you sing that bad... I mean, have you heard me singing?

Come on, sing!

 

*starting to mummling something*

*Realizes it's meanless to try to kick Enji's **

hum hum hum lala...

 

Hey, you behave yourself, Jawa! Remember that we are guests here.

Besides, trying to fight them is useless. It just seems to encourage them and make them even more determined in their quest.

 

oolveis luuk on tö brait said oof laaaaaif !!!

Argh, horrible, I refuse to do this anymore! Besides, I can't get enough air to my lungs. Someone taped me on the floor... Can't move... Anymore...
And this bag is dampening the 'sound'. Lucky you.

 

Hey now, everyone! Behave yourselves! You don't want me to have to punish you, right? [face_strict_teacher]

*looks at the students tied to the chair and the floor*

Well you know, if you all behave, maybe, just maybe I'll take you on a tour on Executor when all this is over and you've turned to the EU side...

 

I will never join you!
Punish me if you want. I know you want to.
I am defenceless. Strike me down with your... hey, I'm already down... crap.

 

*joins willessly*

I like the EU books

Despite the constant reminder that Luke, Leia and Han are mortal and growing old, I still like them.

 

That's nice, Karoline, then you can help us in our quest to make Lynxie and Jawa here love them...

Hmm, maybe it's time for some more reading... nah, I'm too lazy to get a book. Later perhaps.

 

Hey, I still can't get up...
Anyone? [face_in_agony]

 

No, I won't help you. Serves you right for trying to rescue Lynx and threatening us.

 

Look who's talking about threatening people... [face_rolleyes]

I'm the one who has been tied to a chair and tortured for a month or so.

 

I'm been duct-taped to the floor for a week! Almost. And why? For being friendly.
This is madness!


Will this never end?

 

"Being friendly"? You have the evil raisin as your icon! You can't be friendly!

Right, I think it's time for some more reading. Now you children be quiet, and I'll read you some nice passages from Wraith Squadron. Okay?


"We have pilots today?" Wedge asked.
"We have pilots, possibly the last group, if some late arrivals make it in."
"Let's get started. Who's first?" Since the first day of evaluations, Wedge had followed a simple interview pattern: Janson kept the data on the pilots, allowing Wedge to meet each one without any foreknowledge. It gave him a better opportunity to consult his gut with respect to each candidate.
Janson consluted his datapad. "His name is Kettch, and he's an Ewok."
Wedge came upright. "No."
"Oh, yes. Determined to fight. You should hear him say 'Yub, yub.' He makes it a battle cry."
"Wes, assuming he could be educated up to Alliance fighter-pilot standards, an Ewok couldn't even reach an X-wing's controls."
"He wears arm and leg extensions, prosthetics built for him by a sympathetic medical droid. And he's anxious to go, Commander."
Wedge slumped and covered his eyes with one hand.
"Please tell me you're kidding."
"Of course I'm kidding. Pilot-candidate number one is a human female, from Tatooine, Falynn Sandskimmer."
"I'm going to get you, Janson."
"Yub, yub, Commander."
"Show her in."

 

How can you not love Lt. Kettch?

 

Obi Anne, darling one!

Doh! //bangs head in nearby wall

Anyway... could you like get me out of here..? Oh, wait. You're one of those EU gushers as well, aren't you.

Bummer.

 

Reading circle? Reading circle!? READING CIRCLE!!??

And may I ask you how many reading circles that you have been to where certain *involontary* participants are tied to a chair and/or duct taped to the floor??






What do you mean that I could have escaped earlier when I had the chance..? I have nooooo idea of what you're talking about...

 

Well is it my fault that you've never chosen to read anything? You're very welcome you know, but, only EU here...

*pulls out an ewok doll and puts it in Lynx's lap*

There's Lt Kettch! Isn't he adorable?

 

AN EWOK!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

...the only good Ewok is a dead Ewok...

And I was trying to be friendly to Lynx, who was tortured!
Emperor is not evil! Withdraw your ridiculous accusations at once!