What the Heart Hides. Obi, Ani, Siri - drama, humor, comfort. Complete as of 090208.

Gah! Evil cliffhanger! Great update, looking forward to more.

 

Oh dear...

Such a wicked cliffie.

I love the portrayal of Obi-Wan as the consummate general, taking care of everyone and not giving attention to himself. I really enjoyed seeing Anakin learn from that and do it himself, going to all the clones and taking care of them in the way Obi-Wan would. It was really touching to see him doing that. I'm really glad that Obi-Wan's torture came from Alpha's point of view... it helped us see it but remain detached from it. It really made it more real. And then the ending, with our Sadistic Asajj... oh dear. What did she do to him?!?

Much , VS--I hope that Anakin is able to come to Obi-Wan's rescue soon. He obviously needs it... Loved it as always, especially your deft and artful treatment of torture. Can't wait for more!

 

Great update Looking forward to more!

 

I feel so bad for him! That last line just made me shudder. Great chapter, Thanks for the PM!

 

What sort of a person takes joy in doing such things? She calls the Jedi soft, I call her soulless. Enjoyment of pain is horrible Good Charactrization on your part, but icky icky on hers!

Like all the others I am worried now. What is happening to our poor Obi?

You leave us all wanting MORE!!!

Great job

 

I have not had time to post for a while, but I love the writing thus far. The memorial scene for Obi-wan was moving, especially Siri's feelings as she comes to the realization of what his loss will signify in her life. It truly makes me feel for two individuals that loved each other for years, would make an awesome couple, yet have been kept apart by "life" and the most ridiculous of all the edicts of the Code. Blast the Code into perdition. Make it one with the Force instead of Obi-wan.

Your characterization of Obi-wan in the dungeon apolpgizing to Alpha for being ill and not having the strength or ability to access the Force was classic Kenobi. Always trying to take responsibility and guilt for everything and everyone whether it is relevant or not.

I hope Ventress has an end as wonderful as the one she has planned for him.

 

wow great update. i feel like this sets things up for the next chapters so i can't wait to see what happens next!

 

In the months they had served together, Alpha had developed a respect for the Jedi general he felt for few others. Kenobi was no fool. He could act quickly when required by circumstance but he never acted rashly or without thought of the consequences. He did not hesitate to order a squad or platoon onto a suicidal mission while calmly taking advantage of the diversion to wrest victory, yet all the while grieving those whose deaths lay heavy on his conscience.
It was not mere safeguarding of his troops, Alpha had discovered, it was genuine regret for the waste of life. His men, clones or not, were not mere pawns to him, pieces to be sacrificed without thought for the goal of securing victory. Kenobi valued life, and mourned whenever it was lost or sacrificed.
That's so Obi-Wan! Great characterization!

?Where?s the general, sir?? one clone asked, half sitting up one elbow. He was swathed in bandages, looking much like the patients in the beds nearby. The only way to distinguish one clone from another was by the wounds or bandages.
(...)
?He?s coming,? Anakin answered, spying General Norcuna coming through the doorway. The clone looked that direction and back at Anakin.
?No, sir. I mean ?the? general.?
?The general is - oh.? Anakin found that he was stammering. Obi-Wan ? the clone meant Obi-Wan. He wished he knew just where he was; he would be on the way there. ?He?s ? General Kenobi is ? he?s unable to be here now.?
First of all I loved that you told the first part of the chapter from Alpha's POV - that was really interesting. And then that, I think the clones really respect Obi-Wan!

Such a mean cliffhanger! But it's not an AU, so Obi-Wan will survive?! Please, let him be all right!!!

 

Ooohh, evil cliffie But like Fifilla said, it's not AU... Is it?

I have a feeling that the worst is still on it's way; our poor Obi will probably have to endure far more. But this is another incredible update, and I anxiously await more Oh, and thanks for the PM

 

Just a few general comments before any specific ones:

Now that I?ve scared you, Obi-Wan and Alpha live. So will Ventress ? I?m not venturing that far away from the comic. A few other characters from the comic will have their minor parts to play, and all the referenced torture comes from the comic, just so you know. All of them, though they?re only a sentence or two there and a chapter or two in my story.

I?m changing the timeline, deepening the characterization and making it at least partially a Siriwan.

That last being said, I haven?t decided how to end it with Siri and Obi-Wan, but IMHO, I think the Jedi prohibition on attachments has been largely misunderstood by most of the Jedi, and deeply internalized by Obi-Wan. This is the not the place to philosophize, but if you look around various SW boards, you will find discussions on attachments (love with possession ? i.e. Anakin) vs unconditional love (ability to want what is best for the other, even to letting them go, etc.).

I am contemplating having Yoda realize this and say so to Siri and Obi-Wan. This would create an internal struggle within them against what they think they have known to be part of the Code vs. what they only thought was part of the Code. I welcome PMs and speculation on the boards on this subject, as well as some other things you might speculate on in further chapters. In fact, I know some readers will be against them ?getting together? and some will want them to be ? and of that group, some will want ?implied? vs ?more explicit without going graphic;? I don?t know if there is a strong preference for one vs the other and the story hasn?t decided that yet. Feedback may influence me.

Gkilkenny: Alpha tensed as a gurgled scream broke the air. Ventress stepped back with a triumphant smile and a knife held aloft, dripping. Oh she's stabbed him. ? Did I say that? I'm minimizing graphic depictions.

The Jedi?s body hit the ground with a sickening thud. Ventress your dead meat if I catch you!! ? Oh, oh, she?s turning to the darkside. Find forgiveness?Obi-Wan will struggle (well, maybe a reference or two, nothing major) with rage vs. forgiveness what he finds out what drives Ventress, but he?ll forgive her and (in the comics, not my story) try to ?save? her.

Dianethx: Great job. I can see that it's not an AU so I believe he will survive. But at what cost? ? Of course he?ll survive and be fine, but NOT at first. I am trying to set the stage for ?the cost? part of the story which is one of the 2 major points I wanted to show in this story, so I?m afraid I have several chapters of ?torture? ahead so you?ll understand the later chapters and not think it out of character. It?s all too easy to have our ?superheroes? bounce back without consequences. Our Obi-Wan will be back, but he?s not going into one meditation and come out of it the same as before his experiences.

VaderLVR64: Oh, yeah, the torture is just getting started, and then I will have to work Siri back in. But I?m still trying to avoid graphic details, and believe it or not, there will be pathos and humor to be found in this story, too.

Veloz: Ventress seems totally evil. So did Vader when we first saw him in ANH. I firmly believe most ?evil? people didn?t start so warped ? bad choices, bad experiences and poor judgment slid them from ?human? to ?evil.?

Earlybird-Obi-Wan: The knife ? you?ll see within a chapter or two. You?ll be surprised at what she did ? it?s good, though the purpose is ultimately bad.

Ascal_Elessar: I couldn?t resist the cliffhanger. I almost junked this chapter, but it set up another chapter that I should probably junk too, but I like the banter in that one and the cliffie in this one.

Luna: hope that Anakin is able to come to Obi-Wan's rescue soon. He obviously needs it... Loved it as always, especially your deft and artful treatment of torture. ? Obi-Wan will save himself this time, though I s

 

With a wicked grin of anticipation on her face, Ventress moved behind the Jedi and threw a look at Aidus that brought an answering grin in return. ?I shall enjoy this. Take this as a token of my regard, Obi-Wan.?

Alpha tensed as a gurgled scream broke the air. Ventress stepped back with a triumphant smile and a knife held aloft, dripping.

The Jedi?s body hit the ground with a sickening thud.

She is evil! Nice Ventrss btw!

 

I agree there is a big misconception or at least misinterpretation in the Code as to whether a Jedi can love. In the scene between Anakin and Padme in AOTC on the way to Naboo he specifically tells her that attachment is forbidden as a Jedi must have compassion for all life, so in his perception they are encouraged to love. He sees compassion for all as loving all lfe in the galaxy. I may be horribly misquoting, but the overall message seems to encourage putting others before self.

Now we come to the crux of the matter. Anakin's love became obsessive because he let his own fears overule him. Unconditional love is said to be liberating and uplifting as it puts the good and well being of another before the desires of the self. To me this implies compassion for another over oneself. As the Jedi must go beyond the self and release all of their emotions into the Force both before knighting and as part of the everyday (it is the very essence of the Jedi), then love without conditions would be the pure and compassionate love they are expected to extend. The profession of that love to another individual does not limit the capacity to feel compassion or empathy for all life;it is merely an extension of the compassion because by touching one life they in turn touch all the other ones that will come after.

Okay, that sums up my philosophy as convoluted as it may be.

Would you please put me on the pm list for this story?

 

obsessedwithSW: Ventress is no one I'd like to meet in a dark alley.

barriss31: ...a Jedi must have compassion for all life, so in his perception they are encouraged to love. He sees compassion for all as loving all lfe in the galaxy. I may be horribly misquoting, but the overall message seems to encourage putting others before self.

Now we come to the crux of the matter. Anakin's love became obsessive because he let his own fears overule him. Unconditional love is said to be liberating and uplifting as it puts the good and well being of another before the desires of the self. To me this implies compassion for another over oneself. As the Jedi must go beyond the self and release all of their emotions into the Force both before knighting and as part of the everyday (it is the very essence of the Jedi), then love without conditions would be the pure and compassionate love they are expected to extend. The profession of that love to another individual does not limit the capacity to feel compassion or empathy for all life...

I could not have said it better myself. Yes, yes, and yes. So if Obi-Wan and Siri "get together" as now seems probable in this story, it is because they come to recognize that their love does met the test they themselves would demand - it can not be selfish, exclusive, or obsessive or interfere with their duty. They would rather walk away from each other a second time than compromise their duty to others, as Jedi.

I'm still ironing out some details, so I cut (postponed) the last 3 pages of this chapter to post the first part. It has some of the necessary "expository" elements for this not familiar with the battle of Jabiim.

I may get the 2nd part of this chapter posted this week. The muse isn't cooperating the last few days.

Current PM list (?)

VaderLVR64
Dianethx
Luna_Nightshade
earlybird-obi-wan
Jaded_Rose
obsessedwithSW
Cael-Fenton
Gkilkenny
JediMasterJessica
Ascal_Elessar
Noelie
Alley_Skywalker
Darth_Draconus
aabbccdd
Alley_Skywalker
Veloz
General_Kenobi_66
Barriss31



Chapter 7. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder


?Pack your master?s things, Padawan, ready to ship back to the Temple.? With those words, Anakin knew the Jedi would never believe that Obi-Wan was alive. The words had not been said unkindly, but the Jedi had made up their minds. They had condemned one of their best and brightest to certain death and suffering, and in so doing, condemned the padawan also.

Damn them all! His master deserved better of his fellow Jedi. He deserved better of his padawan. He deserved to be searched for, found, and rescued, yet he was only a statistic.

Missing in action! Anakin supposed it was a concession to him, perhaps the Council had not decided to declare Obi-Wan Kenobi dead for some political reason ? if that were so, the knowledge of that alone would kill his master, considering Obi-Wan?s fondness for politics and politicians.

Apparently several days of medical observation had convinced everyone that Anakin was deluded but not delusional; he was to be allowed to return to duty. The cynical side of him figured that they needed Anakin Skywalker: the tide of battle had been turning in the last several days minus Kenobi-Skywalker, the famed Jedi duo. Obi-Wan would call it pride and reprimand him for the thought; Anakin knew it was the simple truth.

His master?s refusal to stand up for himself and his padawan, his acceptance of the dictates of the Council, and his deference to others he considered possibly his betters, certainly his equals, only impeded what might have a speedier resolution to the war.

Inwardly fuming, thankful to be away from prying eyes, Anakin returned to his tent, the one he shared with Obi-Wan, faced with the knowledge that this night no light would burn at the far end of the tent as his master wrestled with adapting to the circumstances he faced. He would not feel the Force being drawn around the man as he sought release from the day?s stresses by submerging hims

 

Ooh I love it.

The emotions were just like they say up and down like a roller coaster.
Anakins emotions were brilliant one minute he was sad and missing his Master the next angry and demanding to know where his master was. Wanting to believe that he was alive and wanting to go and find him. Then angry at him the next minute.


Well done

 

Very interesting story. I like to see the Jabiim episode being explored and developed, especially now I know you are going to stick with the comics storyline and that Obi-Wan will survive.

As for your questions about the topic of love, you know from a fic I recently wrote and you read, my ideas about the whole matter.

I believe that Obi-Wan and Siri could be able to love each other without letting it blind them. In a way they do so in EU too. In "Secrets of the Jedi" it is clear they never stopped loving each other and given the control they both have as mature Jedi, I think it would be good for them to "consume" that love, especially if they had Yoda's blessing.

I am look forward to read more of this!

 

Poor Anakin.

Interesting the way things have been left. Still it leaves for confusion, although I guess that emotion can't get much worse for Anakin.

Lovely in such a sad way Valairy!

 

That was one of my favorite storylines in the comics!

It had taken only moments to remove all signs of Obi-Wan?s presence, and that?s when reality punched Anakin in the gut.

Obi-Wan was gone.

Not dead. He would argue that Obi-Wan was alive to his dying day. Obi-Wan was missing, and considering no one believed that fact, he was likely to remain missing until he was truly gone, truly dead. Anakin could do nothing, boxed in by hard realities and painful awareness of his choices.

That was really powerful, mostly because it's so true. It's that cleaning out of belongings that often makes the loss hit home. Poor Anakin!

 

Poor Anakin: just like in your other story "Never look back", alone again without his master

 

Loved the rollercoaster ride of emotions from frustration to grief to anger. All over the map, just as it would be. I loved, too, the memory of Obi-Wan not thinking he should make a holocron, that he had no wisdom that he hadn't learned from Yoda or Qui-Gon. Oh, modest man to be so blind to his own greatness.
I also loved that he kept that small case from Qui-Gon. How like him to be deeply committed to another person's memory but not outwardly showy about it.


This was wonderful. You are such a good writer. Loved it.

 

Oooh this was a very nice update

I liked the way u described Anakin's struggle here, and of course i loved Anakin's memories of Obi Wan... these two truly were brothers by te time we see them in ROTS... so much was lost between them in Mustafar

I hpe Obi Wan gets rescued soon, cause i cant take this torture

Tnx alot for the pm

 

Ah, one of my face updates in this fic.
You do a very nice job describing emotions. Anakin is so...lost...poor kid
I liked Ani's convo with Aubrie as well. I think I've heard the name before but IDK. Is she an OC?

Great update


EDIT: I just noticed something. I think the prob I PMed you about isn't a coding problem but rather the result of me being listed twice on the PM list

 

Another great update!
Very nice description of Anakin's feeling. I think it must be extremely difficult for him hearing all the other people talk of Obi-Wan's death when he is so sure that his Master is still alive!

(...)he teased, pleased with the answering sparkle in his master?s eyes, and quickly ducked away so that the descending hand could not tweak his padawan braid.
How he hated that tug and how he now missed it. He missed the hand dropped onto his shoulder with the little squeeze that always followed. He missed the tight grin when they were about to spring a trap, or the queasy look in Obi-Wan?s eyes when Anakin was piloting.
I love how Anakin remembers these little "unimportant" things about Obi-Wan!

... but you are mean, ending the previous chapter with such a cliffhanger and not telling us what happened to Obi-Wan!

 

I feel so bad for Anakin, someone sounds desperate to save him. Great Chapter and thanks for the PM

 

Somebody is lashing out here! However, Anakin's emotions are very realized, and understandable. His pain is also very apparant - I hope someone believes him before it is too late for Obi-Wan

 

great post
Poor anakin.
I loved the way you described his emotions and how he missed obi-wan.
He remembered the amusement in his master?s voice as he had said, ?I have no particular wisdom to leave for those who follow us. What I leave behind me as my legacy to future Jedi is you, my padawan, the Chosen One. If I am remembered at all, it will be for having been the one to train the best amongst us ? assuming we both survive each other until the day you come into your own.?
I loved this part
great work