What the Heart Hides. Obi, Ani, Siri - drama, humor, comfort. Complete as of 090208.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Valairy Scot, Jan 20, 2007.

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  1. smoke20ts Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    ?Courage?? Jayren chuckled, the closest he could come to a laugh. ?Ask the healers if I was brave at first?I fought against reality, but in the end, you realize you only have two choices ? accept it or not. I could seek acceptance and happiness or I could reject that acceptance and be miserable ? I enjoy life too much to be miserable. Look on the bright side ? look how much research I?m able to get done since I?m not in the field.?

    What wonderful advice from Jayren -- to either accept what has happened and move on or to dwell on the past and remain stuck there. I really like how you have shown that even though Jayren is limited in his physical abilities, he is still able to make valuable contributions with his mind.

    ?Yes, but those of us who thought so were out-voted. In any case, it has no bearing on what he endured there. Siri, perhaps you should read my report and Alpha?s as well. It won?t be easy to read,? Adi lightly combed her fingers through Siri?s hair, a gesture that took them both back years, ?but perhaps you will understand both why the Council asked this, and why Obi-Wan has been so troubled. If you love him, truly love him as I know you do, it will wound your heart deeply, but it might help you to help heal his.?

    Adi retrieved her data pad and gave it into Siri?s hands. ?Why don?t you go into my room and read it. I?ll be here waiting.?

    Numbly, Siri stood up and stared at the datapad. She wasn?t sure she wanted to know anymore than she already did. Yet Obi-Wan had lived this, surely she could read it. Her chin came up and she nodded.

    She knew her heart was about to break all over again.


    Even though it may break Siri's heart to know just what terrible things Obi-Wan had to endure, perhaps it will allow her a better understanding of what she can do to help him.

    Wonderful job as usual! =D= Congratulations on your awards -- they're well deserved. I look forward to each new chapter.
  2. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Gkilkenny: Yoda has great respect for Obi-Wan. Yes, and great fondness, too, I think. I think both movie Obi-Wan?s did a fantastic job of establishing a true relationship with a puppet/CGI character.

    Siri is strong and I think by knowing it will help her to help him. This is one of the pivotal events in the story. Only by having access to all this when Obi-Wan is 100% ready to release everything, is everything released. Timing, as we see, is everything.

    Veloz: Uh oh, let's see how Siri will handle reading what Obi-Wan endured It won?t be easy, but it?ll be even harder once Obi-Wan finally reveals everything ? that?ll be 10x worse than reading about it ? but by facing everything head on, they can resolve the past and move forward.

    earlybird-obi-wan: Lovely. The core of Obi-Wan is a being of pure light. It is, and though he?s been brushed by the dark, as we readers know, it?s external to him. He?s rather, ah, ?in the dark? :D about that.

    Charie: I wonder how Siri will react to the report from Adi and Alpha. Has Anakin read them? His reaction would also be of interest. Siri ? you?ll see. Anakin ? you know, I never once thought of that, though to be honest, he?ll find out far more than he can handle later on via another method.

    Lolly_Tolly: Siri's in for a shock. I?m afraid so, but it will be the means to set Obi-Wan free. This is a great chapter! I can't wait for the next one! You think so <sigh of relief> - I thought it was a bit dry and expository. I, too, can?t wait to post the next three ? oh, here we go??

    Raptor517:You can have Darth Siri, no fight there.

    Jedidas3:...I too, love the relationship between Obi and Yoda. To me, it reminds me of a grandparent and a grandchild...very sweet. YOu know [face_thinking] - you're right.

    Bastet: I especially love how understanding Yoda is being. I think Yoda can be very understanding ? or very motivational. If Obi had needed the kick in the pants that Siri gave him, Yoda would have given it, too, only Siri beat him to it. Obi needed reassurance, so that is what Yoda gave him.

    Smoke20ts: What wonderful advice from Jayren -- to either accept what has happened and move on or to dwell on the past and remain stuck there. I think after such trauma as Obi-Wan, and previously Jayren, experienced, the person is in a state of shock that does not allow one to ?move on.?

    It takes some kind of catalyst, as Siri walking out on Obi-Wan ? that made him see how badly everyone wanted to help him and how he was rejecting that very help for no good reason. He needed a reason to look beyond his pain ? and he was able to see Siri's pain and react to that - and that is what is now allowing him to face and release his pain. Truly, that scene was the catalyst for Obi-Wan?s healing.

    Even though it may break Siri's heart to know just what terrible things Obi-Wan had to endure, perhaps it will allow her a better understanding of what she can do to help him. Oh, indeed it will ? it?s just what the Force ordered! Obi-Wan?s healing is now in her hands ? for she is the only one to have the knowledge that Obi-Wan needs, since the stubborn man has only hid from what he must face.


    Other than the intro to this next chapter, I?ve been fussing with the next 2.5 chapters for over a year ? 20 some drafts and not satisfied (some of the first .25 and the "youngling scene" is virtually unchanged) but what is currently Ch 60 and 61 just never ?jelled? until Patricia and I worked on timeline issues and stuff ? it?s incredible how it now works even though we never really discussed those chapters much, only discussed what leads up to them and how.

    Here we go - the first of three chapters that will see Obi-Wan finally free and ready to move forward. [face_dancing] Gosh, I'm so excited to post this and the next two!




    @};- Chapter 59. The Universe Awaits@};-




  3. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    You've done it once again...you've managed to take yet another aspect of Obi's recovery and turn it into something beautiful and heartwrenching at the same time. How do you do that?;) A great post...loved the interaction with the younglings...sometimes children have a way of seeing through an adult's soul and I think that's exactly what happened. Looking forward to more, my dear friend.
  4. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    Each post leaves me wanting more! You should be proud of your writing. It's brilliant! It really feels like he's getting somewhere now. Loved the interaction with the kids. Can't wait for Siri to kiss all his boo boos better.:p =D= I can't wait for more. Thanks for writing.[face_love]
  5. Raptor517 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 12, 2006
    star 4
    Lol.

    Kiss Obi? Sir? No way...

    Looks like the healers are getting things figured out!

    Awesome update!

    Raptor517
  6. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Yes, he is recovering and Siri remembers her day's as Zora and the help Obi-Wan offered.

    And Obi-Wan is a natural with little kids.

    Eager waiting for the next update. Let them come=D==D=
  7. bek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    Obi-Wan sounds so much better, even though he still has a ways to go. :)

    I like that he is beginning to come to terms with the new developments to his and Siri's relationship. It sounds as though he may not go back to the distant relationship they once shared. Hopefully this new depth to their friendship will help them to discover more even if they keep it private and away from prying eyes. ;)

    Wonderful job! Look forward to more.
  8. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    I'm FINALLY caught up with this fantastic story.:D

    ?There is something Obi-Wan has not been able to speak of; it is locked within him. The nature of this ? is yet unknown.?

    ?He could be ? tainted, then, and unfit to sit on this Council.?

    The unthinkable ? had now been voiced.


    Yikes, this scared me so much to think that Obi-Wan could be thrown off the Council.

    ?If I erect blocks and re-establish your mental shields as I go, you should remember nothing until you are ready to do so. My purpose would be to exam ? I suppose you could call it your commitment to the light, your moral center. Everything else you hold within I should be able to avoid until you wish to share those details. When I?m done, my sole duty would be to report to the Council my findings, not the details, and to you, as well, should you wish it.?

    ?Report if I?m tainted,? he said bitterly, running his hands through his hair.


    Poor Obi-Wan, being forced to deal with those memories before he was ready.

    I hear my mind grasping for the impossible- I can?t deal with this master, I can?t live in the moment, I can?t get beyond this. I can?t find sanity? I?m sorry.

    You can my padawan. Do as you did before, to defeat the dark ? face it! Allow yourself to face it all. Allow yourself time to heal rather than blame yourself for your illness.


    I just love it how Qui-Gon is still there offering comfort when he can.

    ?Forever works,? he mumbled, tightening his grip even more.

    ?See, there is a romantic hidden somewhere inside you, Kenobi,? she whispered, dropping a light kiss on his forehead. ?Forever, huh? Sounds nice.?


    Yes it does. [face_love]

    Yoda grunted. ?Unfit indeed, thinks this he does. Persuade him otherwise we shall. Remain on this Council he will.?

    This time, not one member objected.


    Thank goodness...:oops:

    He could see Siri?s annoyance bubbling out now to match his own. ?Kenobi, you stubborn gundark, you?re only going to be fit to be hauled back to the healers for a forced reality check if you don?t stop avoiding your issues.

    Yes, listen to Siri!

    Obi-Wan didn?t know how to be weak, because there had never been another one to be the strong one.

    Obi-Wan didn?t know how to ask for help, because he had always been the one to offer it.

    Obi-Wan didn?t know how to take comfort, because he was always the one to comfort.


    Such poignant statements about Obi-Wan.

    ?Kenobi ? you stubborn, aggravating idiot!? She crossed to him and hugged him before her heart shattered into a million pieces, hugged him before she shook whatever he had of the Force out of him. ?Force tell me, why do I love you??

    He cleared his throat, unshed tears glistening in the back of his eyes. ?Because you love pathetic life forms as much as Qui-Gon Jinn did??


    Aww...[face_love]

    One day he would take that step as well and for the first time since escaping Rattatak, he knew he would find himself.

    The path to healing lay before him and it was up to him to take each step.

    He had taken that first one and found ? hope.


    Yay! He's finally starting to recover! [face_dancing]

    ?Always too hard on yourself you are, young one.? At the fond sobriquet, Obi-Wan half-smiled as Yoda continued, ?Siri, good for you she is. Knew this even before returned you did. Your feelings to each other you have admitted; helped you that has.?

    ?Find your strength you will, Obi-Wan, when your weakness you find. Meditate have you been able to do yet this day? No? Your guide I will happily be.?


    I felt so excited to see that Yoda's going to help Obi-Wan.

    As the now ?healed? finger was pulled back, the little girl looked at Obi-Wan, then at the smiling-through-tears knight standing behind him. ?If it starts to hurt again, maybe she will kiss you if I?m not there. Promise to kiss Mas?er Obi if he needs it??

    Siri nudged Obi-Wan with a big grin on her face, and kneeled next to Obi-Wan who was carefully avoiding looking at her. With a side
  9. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    What a beautiful long post.[:D]

    ?It?s good to have you back, Obi-Wan.? She touched his cheek briefly before herding her charges off. She added over her shoulder, ?I still remember you as the shy and reserved child with the brilliant smile and the tendency to suck on a thumb when deep in thought.?

    It was a trait that had morphed into a brushing of his hand against his chin.

    Obi-Wan smiled after her, then turned that smile on Siri.

    ?Well, well, hidden talents,? Siri said, raising an eyebrow. ?I could imagine the young ones in awe of the ?great Obi-Wan Kenobi,? but not practically climbing all over you.?


    His Crèche teacher is giving away his secrets.[face_shhh]

    So the mystery of his missing midi's is the topic of discussion, between
    the healers.[face_thinking]

    Excellent post.=D=
  10. smoke20ts Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2005
    star 1
    ?You look sad, Mas?er Obi, did it hurt??

    Obi-Wan nodded, drawing a deep breath and glancing at Siri as if drawing strength from her presence.

    ?Yes, it hurt very much. It was a very bad place, you see.?

    Siri could feel his quiet gratitude through the Force as she pressed her hand to his shoulder in silent support.

    ?I cried when I hurt my hand. Jarod says only girls cry but he cried when he tripped and fell. Boys do cry.? A triumphant grin earned a glare from a boy, Jarod, it was obvious. ?Did you cry??

    The Jedi nodded, unable to speak; his fingers brushed gently across a tiny scab on the hand waving before his face. Siri felt tears prick at her own eyes. Such an innocent question, only the hurts the child spoke of was skinned knees and smashed fingers ? hurts easily healed and with no power to scar the soul.

    ?Mas?er kissed it and it stopped hurting. Kisses fix everything,? Caellya explained solemnly.

    ?Maybe,? Obi-Wan agreed; his eyes suddenly shut tight as a little girl?s kiss landed on a cheek. ?Uh huh, you?re right, that was just what I needed. Thank you.?


    I like how you captured a child's ability to see through eyes of innocence much more clearly than adults can through eyes of experience. I absolutely adored Obi-Wan's interaction with the younglings, especially how he addressed them as "Master" -- a very simple way of allowing them to feel like equals.

    ?So do you need a kiss or two to make it better? I promised your little friend, you know.?

    ?I think it would take more than just one or two kisses.? There was no hint of humor in the reply.

    Only when Siri took his hand and kissed the tips of his fingers did he relax and give her a rueful grin.

    ?Healing me, Knight Tachi?? The question was asked in all seriousness.

    ?I?d do more than kiss you, Kenobi, if it would heal you.? She was equally as serious.

    ?Don?t tempt me to find out, Tachi,? he warned, but he was laughing. So, too, was she, she suddenly discovered.


    [face_love] Loved this! They seem to be getting more comfortable with their relationship and the love they have for each other.

    Good job! =D=

  11. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    I got behind on this beautiful story and I didn't mean to! :oops: But I'm caught up now and there are simply too many wonderful things to note, so I'll simply say:

    :eek: =D= =D= [face_love]
  12. ObiWans_Gurl86 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2006
    star 1
    UH oh what did he confess......I loved the siri obiwan stuff it was soo cute, great job i can't wait for more.
  13. Alley_Skywalker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2005
    star 4
    Hi, Valairy :) Sorry I haven?t been reviewing much?first school got the better of me and as for the summer?I?ve been out of town a LOT. Anyways? here is something of a review through chap 50 I think?yea 50. Just general stuff and stuff that jumped out at me?


    -- Though I expected more mushiness on the reunion with Ani I thought it had been handled well and realistically, in short, IC :)

    -- Your Siriwans are amazingly IC though seemingly OOC in concept alone?.well, at least I have a hard time imagining Obi-Wan in love with a woman?or anyone?

    -- Chap 40: Obi/Ani convo with the whole ?Pretty light. Likes me?? thing = adorable and that bit of mushiness is so needed. Also Obi-Wan?s childishness in that moment, that vulnerability (even given that he was ?high? at the moment) shows just how much he suffered psychologically to get such a reaction out of HIM. Actually, it almost gives hope that there IS a human being somewhere under the Jedi :p

    -- Chap 41: Miniscule events on a cosmic scale, each and every one of them. Elsewhere, on numerous battlefields, beings still died and still killed, as droids destroyed and were destroyed, yet from these miniscule events, the future of the galaxy was being shaped with each decision made or avoided.

    The Force had helped shape the players, but the players shaped their own courses, paths intersecting, deflecting and colliding with the choices of others.

    why does this remind me of Tolstoy?s philosophical tangents in War And Peace? Meh?I?m crazy don?t listen to me?

    -- Chap 48: Anakin still cared too much and thus hurt too much.
    Interestingly reminds me of a quote from a Papa Roach song ? ?My weakness is that I care too much? I think Anakin?s capacity to care for those he loves is both an admirable character trait but, sadly it becomes his greatest weakness.

    -- Chap 48: why oh why had he forced his way in where he could find only hurt, pain and doubts?
    Because he ?cares too much? and at the time that?s what he needed to do to help someone he loves.

    -- Chap 49: I still remember my brother at Ian?s age (though it seems like SO long ago; he?s seven now)?he was NOT a calm baby ether when he was upset? Hmm?Ian?s at the age when babies start to crawl?Lol, this could be fun.


  14. nada_smith Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2006
    star 1
    He waved the door open with a hand ? and once again glanced guiltily around, but his padawan wasn?t there to call him on his ?frivolous use of the Force.? Anakin had taken the phrase as a reprimand, always, one that had been a teasing phrase between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. With Anakin?s tendency to use the Force as a tool, not a guide, it had been meant as a reminder from master to padawan to respect the gift he had been given.

    I like this idea that what Obi-Wan meant as a gentle reminder and tease seemed to Anakin to be pure criticism. An example of the unfortunate misunderstandings that seemed to plague them in spite of their affection and devotion to one another.

    The scene with the children was very sweet. It showed how much Obi-Wan meant to the temple residents. He made time for the littlest ones and the sick and was beloved by nearly all in return.

    So, um, selfless of Siri to offer to kiss Obi-Wan better. :p I also really enjoyed Siri and Obi-Wan reminisicing about nicknames bestowed by their masters. Poor Obi-Wan, brat indeed! I'm glad Siri has found a way to help Obi-Wan. It was good to remember that she has some experience with recovering from difficult situations.

    Oh, and the discussion amongst the healers is very intriguing. I wonder what exactly is going on. Obi-Wan thinks he's done something he hasn't?

    Very nice post! Thanks for sharing.
  15. Ascal_Elessar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2004
    star 3
    Some fantastic chapters since I last posted. I'm so happy to see that Obi has finally turned the corner. Congrats on your wins, well deserved.
  16. tallie_tachi Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 6, 2008
    o - m - g!! [face_hypnotized]

    where do i even begin...yes forgive me I got behind again. I think I was 3 or 4 chapters back the last time I posted.

    First of all, soooo happy that you were nominated and hopefully won a million bazillion awards! =D=

    Second of all...I had made a comment before about Siri being too harsh...I think I take it back. The chapter with his breakdown and her comforting and them crying...holy mess! Yeah so I was melting and beyond tears and chills! [face_love] What I saw as more harshness is more tough love...which reminds me of how I deal with a lot of situations...tough love. I enjoyed seeing her vulnerability like when she released her tears with him. Also, the description of her coming out from reading the datapad...you can just feel the strain of emotion going through her. I like seeing him a bit more open and vulnerable with her as well...admitting that he needs her. Love it when a guy is so grateful for his woman! Plus...I got my more dramatic 'i love you' that I mentioned I was looking for a while back. thanks for that. ;)

    Also I'm am very glad he is recovering now...I feel like I can move on. It was getting a bit daunting to keep reliving his torture (which may be your point to make us feel like Obi but still I feel emotionally drained) There were some parts that just seemed a bit and I mean just a tad repetitive. Like the scene where he was telling himself the steps to healing, then with Siri reiterating those steps and the same with Yoda. It was one of the VERY rare moments throughout this story that I felt like I could skim...you know? or maybe I was just anxious to read on. ;)

    These last few chapters really reiterate what seems to be one of your main themes...how 'human' jedi are and much they truly do feel. (which btw hope you don't take that 'human nature' part toooo far with Siri and Obi---if you know what I mean[face_shhh]) I am glad to be moving up now and feeling more optimistic about Obi's future. And i am really interested on the 'reinterpretation' of the Jedi Code with Jaylen...I am curious to see where you will take that. I see it possibly having an impact on the siriwan...?? perhaps?? hehe [face_thinking]

    thanks for the great entertainment in this story...the plethora of emotions I go through while reading is exactly what I like to get from movies, books, etc. You have really got it down to a science.

    ps - ooooh yes! reading material for my cruise! :cool: please email! [face_dancing] how do i give you my email addy? i'm not so forum savvy. thanks again!
  17. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Jedidas3: you've managed to take yet another aspect of Obi's recovery and turn it into something beautiful and heartwrenching at the same time. I just love that youngling scene ? I?ve been waiting anxiously for over a year to post it!

    Charie: It really feels like he's getting somewhere now. Loved the interaction with the kids. Can't wait for Siri to kiss all his boo boos better. Obi?s ?almost? past the pain, now. It won?t be a miracle cure, but darn close. Love that description [face_laugh] ? yes, Siri will kiss all his boo boos and a lot more if Obi gives her a chance.[face_whistling]

    Raptor517: Kiss Obi? Siri? No way... Why, sir, what ever do you mean? :eek: You think Siri is moving past kissing? Chapped lips, perhaps?[face_thinking]

    earlybird-obi-wan: And Obi-Wan is a natural with little kids. Yeah, I see him as the stately grandparent who?s very understanding and treats the kids like little adults more than the get down on the floor and dirty with the kids grandparent.

    bek Hi Bek! Don?t think I?ve seen you poking around this story before. I like that he is beginning to come to terms with the new developments to his and Siri's relationship. It sounds as though he may not go back to the distant relationship they once shared. Hopefully this new depth to their friendship will help them to discover more even if they keep it private and away from prying eyes. Perhaps, he won?t, and we?ll see ? I guess you and Veloz and Jedidas3 all agree with Siri where this story should go.

    LilyHobbitJedi Aw ? has DRL spitted you back out into the real world? ;) I think Obi-Wan has so internalized the concept of service to others, along with the fact I think deep inside he?s rather soft-hearted and his initial insecurities were merely ?paved over,? so that to face what a Jedi faces and not descend into gallows humor or a shell of callousness, he?s made parts of himself recede into the background. He will give of himself until nothing?s left, because as long as others rely on him, he can?t think of himself ? it?s ?selfish? and ?not the Jedi way.?

    I bet it?s frustrating to his friends and colleagues at times ? it may be what makes him appear sanctimonious and goody-goody ?perfect padawan? at times, because humans do get jealous, selfish, and frustrated. Obi-Wan will swallow that.

    Siri was right ? to reach Obi-Wan, she had to prove she had the strength to let him be weak for once in his life. He wouldn?t let go, otherwise ? I?ve had several references so far that to heal he has let go of his strength and find his weakness.

    Gkilkenny:His Crèche teacher is giving away his secrets. Sucking on his thumb is probably not his worst childhood secret and probably witnessed by many.

    Smoke20ts: I like how you captured a child's ability to see through eyes of innocence much more clearly than adults can through eyes of experience. I love how you phrased that. Yes, there?s less ?life? muddying things. I absolutely adored Obi-Wan's interaction with the younglings, especially how he addressed them as "Master" -- a very simple way of allowing them to feel like equals.

    Thank you, that youngling scene is one of my favorites in the entire story, and virtually untouched for a year now.[face_blush]

    Loved this! They seem to be getting more comfortable with their relationship and the love they have for each other. Seems that way, doesn?t it? Of course, with all that he went through, it?s only human for Obi-Wan to cling to something or someone. Once he?s past the past and has the Force, will he revert back to form or not?

    VaderLVR64What with moving, a new grandkid and all you?re forgiven. You?ve got more important things in your real life than fanfic.

    ObiWans_Gurl86 UH oh what did he confess...... Well in the chapter after this you?ll see ? but you actually got a sneak preview of it MANY MANY chapters ago.

    Alley: You?re back! Loved y
  18. Lolly_Tolly Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 12, 2008
    star 4
    Oh, yeah. I forgot to comment... Sorry.

    Excellent post! The way you wrote the younglings was so realistic! They ask the questions that are entirely innocent, but bring out the worst memories.

    For, against?! What are we voting for? I must have missed that...
    Well, if it's for this to be an AU, as you mentioned a while ago. I'll go "For". :)
  19. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    I think I'll also vote 'for'... [face_whistling]

    Anyway, very nice update, as usual. :D

    As lots of others have said, I also really loved the interaction between Obi and all of those younglings. Awwww! [face_love] Especially that little girl oh-so-innocently telling Siri she needed to kiss Obi the next time he hurt. [face_love]

    I wonder what those healers were talking about... [face_thinking]

    Looking forward to more! :D
  20. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was lovely and so very sad. I liked that he had an encounter with the younglings, so innocent, as a contrast to his still stumbling thoughts about darkness and how hurt he was. I really loved that Siri promised to help him heal with kisses if necessary. LOL.

    I loved this.

    ?trying not to beg for death, trying not to scream, or cry or forget I was a sane being?.

    ??the pain, you can?t imagine the pain, Siri, I?ll spare you the ugly details- and almost willing to do anything to escape it. I was afraid of turning, even, for the dark had me in its grip and ? and it was squeezing the light from me.?

    ?What??

    He had gotten to her; that unnatural quietness shattered. It brought back his feelings of helplessness, of anger and contempt ? and ultimately, shame. The truth of his captivity that he hadn?t faced; hadn?t even dared to remember, let alone speak of was now close to surfacing.

    Tormented eyes looked steadily into her shocked ones. ?I was falling into darkness, drowning in it and I?m not yet sure ? I escaped. That is why I wanted to resign from the Council, no matter what Cielan said, no matter what the Council said.?


    So Obi-Wan.

    Great job!
  21. charie Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2007
    star 2
    It is pure torture to wait for a ValScot update. Are you in cahoots with Ventress?:p Ok... I'll try to be patient.O:)
  22. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    Just so you know, I'm chugging along whenever I do have the time. I read in spurts. I don't think that's effective enough for a real, true review at this point...

    but what I can say to let you know the wonderfulness of your story:

    You're making me really start to love the possibilities of a Siriwan, and I can't wait until knows the depth of what happened to Obi-Wan.

    Lyrical, glorious language to sit and pine over.

    It'll probably be best for me to review it when it is over. Just know that I'm here, I'm greatly enjoying, and I congratulate you on your wins.
  23. Kyana-Morgaine Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 2004
    star 2
    Absolutely great! I'm stunned!

    Please add me to you PM List!
  24. barriss31 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 9, 2005
    star 1
    Just catching back up on my reading when I happen to see my name counted as one of the "against" for consumation? Not at all. I can't wait for them to make a decision.
  25. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Yahoo - post 1050!

    Lolly_Tolly: The way you wrote the younglings was so realistic! They ask the questions that are entirely innocent, but bring out the worst memories. I?m really pleased with that scene; one of my favorites.

    For, against?! What are we voting for? I must have missed that... Consummation, consummation ? does Siri succeed in romancing Obi-Wan, or does the rule-abiding Jedi abide by the rules? Sleepcouch for 1 or 2? Understand? ;)

    Bastet: Especially that little girl oh-so-innocently telling Siri she needed to kiss Obi the next time he hurt Yeah, so innocent, wasn?t it?. Maybe she?s right, too.

    The healers ? Cielan has gotten clued in on the mask. As to the rest, Siri will get Obi-Wan to speak of it before the healers have a chance, coming up in the next 2 chapters.

    Dianethx: I liked that he had an encounter with the younglings, so innocent, as a contrast to his still stumbling thoughts about darkness and how hurt he was. I really loved that Siri promised to help him heal with kisses if necessary.

    I liked the contrast as to how others see him and he reacts to them vs how he sees himself. They don?t see darkness, only hurt, and in them, he perhaps might subconsciously react to that (too bad I didn?t think of that when writing the next 2 chapters).

    As to the healing power of kisses ? well ? they certainly can?t hurt, unless Anakin sees them and overreacts. He won?t. I?m not sure when/how he?ll clue in, but probably not really until the sequel, and even then, I think he?ll think it?s more innocent than it really is.

    Charie: Are you in cahoots with Ventress? I AM Ventress ? same letter ?V,? we both torture Obi-Wan, we both admire him (she?s more like love/hate, though).

    Luna Your last viggie blew me away! I miss you on the boards ? but there?s plenty of other authors who have manfully stepped into the breach and keep me entertained. I forgot you aren?t much of a Siriwan shipper ? and this is probably the ? what?s the word I want ? ah, don?t know ? most romancing arc of any Siriwan I?ve written. I?m working on my rotten tomatoes shielding as we speak.[face_laugh]

    Kyana-Morgaine: Hi! Welcome to my ? once short ? epic (I had hoped to make 100 pages out of 40 now I?m in the 500?s and about another 120 to go).

    Barriss31: Understood.


    Important Note: Congrats to Jedidas3, Dianethxin Before and Saga, and VaderLVR64in Before and Saga for their recent wins - Jedidas3 took 3 spots in the Before Awards (next year Before AND Saga, right?) and Dianethx - I can't count that high (and that's just in Before [face_dancing])!

    I don't have virtual chocolate, so I give instead @};- [:D] and =D=. All 3 of these authors are now also known as "Best Author" in this year or previous years - which one of you wants to ghost write my stories for me?!?! Huh? I want writing lessons, you hear!

    Earlybird-Obi-Wan: also @};- for winning this week's PT Write/Rewrite V3.0 (it's in Before)



    @};- Chapter 60. Reaching for the Courage to Let Go@};-



    The lighthearted mood brought on by the encounter with the younglings had all but evaporated as the two Jedi drew closer to their destination. What was coming would not be easy ? to speak or to hear, but both knew the words needed to be spoken and heard, that the time had come to take the final step towards healing. Obi-Wan?s fingers latched onto Siri?s as if seeking her strength to continue forward. She squeezed back, feeling as much as seeing his slight nod.

    Even so, the Jedi?s resolve was faltering, his steps slowing as they reached the entrance to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, but Obi-Wan didn?t object when Siri took his arm to urge him forward, leaning ever so slightly into her support as if needing the encouragement.

    She led him along the winding path and past the f
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