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JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

Discussion in 'Community' started by squir1y, Jun 9, 2014.

  1. Sarge

    Sarge Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 1998
    Mrs. Smith runs into her neighbor outside the post office.

    "Watch out, Old Man Jones is after you about your dog!" says the neighbor.

    "What do you mean? What does Jones care about my dog?" asked Mrs. Smith.

    "Well, we saw her yesterday chasing him on a bike. He was really mad, and he swore he'd give you a piece of his mind."

    "There's just no way that could have been my dog," says Mrs. Smith.

    "It looked just liker her," said the neighbor, "How can you be so sure it wasn't her?"

    "Well," said Mrs. Smith, "Ginger doesn’t know how to ride a bike"
     
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  2. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    I went to the zoo, but it only had one animal - a dog.

    It was a shih tzu.
     
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  3. Jordan1Kenobi

    Jordan1Kenobi Host of Star Wars Character Contest star 6 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 2012
    August 17, 2015.
    Haven’t heard that one before.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2018
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  4. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    Third time's a charm.

    Also, I miss pete
     
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  5. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    As a child I had to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
     
  6. PCCViking

    PCCViking Force Ghost star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Two men walk into a bad, the third one ducked.
     
  7. Jordan1Kenobi

    Jordan1Kenobi Host of Star Wars Character Contest star 6 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 2012
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Sarge

    Sarge Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 1998
    I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
     
  9. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    The fact that we know chameleons exist is proof that they're failures.
     
  10. Jordan1Kenobi

    Jordan1Kenobi Host of Star Wars Character Contest star 6 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 2012
    I wonder how many creatures there are that aren’t failures... [face_nail_biting]
     
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  11. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    Went to the doctors today for my test results. The doctor said "I'm afraid you've got Tom Jones disease."

    I said "I've never heard of that before, is it rare?"

    The doctor said "it's not unusual."
     
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  12. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    I took my kitty to my vet, Dr. Tom Jones.

    He said, "what's new, pussycat?"
     
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  13. PCCViking

    PCCViking Force Ghost star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Sometimes, the jokes write themselves in the form of people with certain last names going to certain careers:

    My old dentist: Dr. Wisdom
    My dad's Army boss: Captain Fite.
    My cats' vet: Dr. Lyons.
     
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  14. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    @Jabba-wocky has spent the last 15 months putting together a jigsaw puzzle. We should all be very proud, because the box said 3-5 years.
     
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  15. PCCViking

    PCCViking Force Ghost star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    The seven dwarves walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "We don't serve miners here."
     
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  16. Sarge

    Sarge Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 1998
  17. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    I've just finished reading Chubby Checker's autobiography.

    Interesting life story, bit of a twist at the end.
     
  18. PCCViking

    PCCViking Force Ghost star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Bowling is a favorite sport of mine: it's right up my alley.
     
  19. Moll

    Moll Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 3, 2016
    I could not remember the roman numerals for 51, 6 and 500. I was absolutely LIVID.

    (Sorry if this one has already been posted :) )
     
  20. Bowen

    Bowen Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 6, 1999
    You guys ever hear this one?

    So a guy walks into a bar and there’s a jar full of money. He asks the bartender what’s the deal. Bartender says, “Well there’s a horse out back. Put a dollar in the jar. If you can make the horse laugh, money is yours.”

    He slips a dollar in, goes outside, and pretty soon the horse is laughing. He goes inside and takes the money.

    A few weeks later he returns to the same bar, there’s a jar of money on the counter again. “Same deal?” He asks. “No, this time you have to make the horse cry.” Ok, he’s up for it, so he puts a dollar in the jar and heads out back. Before long, the horse is crying.

    As he walks back inside to take the money, the bartender stops him. “Now hold up, you gotta tell me how you did it these two times.”

    “Well, the first time I told him my (you know) is bigger than his. The second time, I showed him.”
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2018
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  21. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Is that autobiographical?
     
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  22. Rogue1-and-a-half

    Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Nov 2, 2000
    Yes, but he was the horse in the situation.
     
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  23. Sarge

    Sarge Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 1998
  24. Jordan1Kenobi

    Jordan1Kenobi Host of Star Wars Character Contest star 6 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 2012
    What did the Mexican say when I stole his dinner?

    “That’s nacho food!”
     
  25. MarcusP2

    MarcusP2 Games and Community Reaper star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2004
    It works better with 'nacho cheese', IMO.
     
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