JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

Did you hear what the rating for the latest Pirates of the Caribbean movie was? It was rated Arrrrr.

 

There's a World of Warcraft porno spoof, but I heard that it's mostly grinding.

 

Some people drink a certain soda in Sprite of the health risks.

 

A dog gave birth to puppies alongside the highway and she was fined for littering.

 

Two nuns walk into a bar.

 

Two lawyers walk into a bar, but the doctor ducks.

 

I use to be a banker, but I lost interest.

 

Did you hear about the eye doctor who lived on an island near Alaska? He was an optical Aleutian.

 

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the Fresh Prints.

 

What do you have when a politician is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

 

Diner: Waiter, how do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: We just flat out tell 'em they're gonna die.

 

Diner: Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Looks like the backstroke, sir.

 

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

A dyslexic atheist denies the existence of a dog.

Elijah's parents were good business people: they raised a prophet.

But Abel's brother had a violent childhood, because his parents raised Cain.

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

What time is it when it is time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.

 

Sometimes the best unintended jokes are in a person's name and job:

My dad was in the Army and his boss was Captain Fite.
Our cats' vet was Dr. Lyons.
Our dentist was Dr. Wisdom.
And I knew of a pastor who's name was Rev. Christian.

 

A group of chess champions staying at a posh hotel were standing in the lobby discussing their recent victories. After an hour, the manager approached and asked them to disperse. "Why should we?" they asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 

knock knock!
who's there?
hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

 

Probably not going to do this right....

A group of cavalry men were riding through the wilderness. As they were traveling they saw a group of indians. They attacked these indians and killed everyone of them except the Chief. The commander of these Cavalrymen told the Chief that since he was so brave they were going to let him live, and they let him go.

Time passed, and the Cavalrymen were traveling through the wilderness again. This time however they were ambushed by a group of indians, lead by this same Chief. All the Cavalry men were killed except their commander, who was taken back to the Indians village. Once there the Chief and his men went away and discussed what to do with the lone cavalryman. They returned and told him that even though he was very brave, that they had no choice but to kill him. However they were going to give the man three wishes before he died. The man shook his head, and said he wished to speak with his horse. The Chief thought this strange, but said okay. The Cavalryman went over to his horse, spoke to him, and then seconds later the horse rode off. A little while later the horse returned with a beautiful naked brunette riding him. The Chief figured out what the man had wished for, and told him that he could use his tipi. The man did his thing with the girl, came out, and went over to the Chief. The Chief asked him what his second wish was? The man once again said he wished to speak to his horse. From there it was the same, he spoke to the horse and then the horse road off. This time the horse returned with a beautiful blonde. Same deal, the Chief let him you his tipi. When the man was finished he game out and confronted the Chief again. The Chief said he had one more wish...The man thought it over, and once again wished to speak to his horse.....The Chief said okay. The man went over to his horse, took him by the ears and said.....


"Read my lips. I said, POSSE."

You can thank my Uncle for that one.

 

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.