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JCC What's your lifetime roadkill count?

Discussion in 'Community' started by Rylo Ken, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. Master_Lok

    Master_Lok Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 18, 2012
    Zero. Though we did decapitate a locust that was dumb enough to hitch a ride on an active windshield wiper.
     
  2. Coruscant

    Coruscant Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Feb 15, 2004
    Dozens, probably. As you'd expect, he'll veer, rather sharply, towards a scared-out-of-its-mind squirrel if he thinks it'll get him the kill.

    Edit: btw, my lifetime roadkill count is 236 if you count all the times you were roadkill after our Hearthstone battles
     
  3. Rylo Ken

    Rylo Ken Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2015
    Squirrels are kind of no-win. The only sure-fire method to avoid one is to brake to a complete stop and wait for the squirrel's dodging algorithm to fully engage. This is fine on a side street in a residential neighborhood without traffic, but elsewhere it's problematic.
     
  4. EHT

    EHT Manager Emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 13, 2007
    I love how squirrels can be 90% of the way across the street, but somehow still arrive at "Car! I can't make it the rest of the way! Abort mission and go all the way back!".
     
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  5. Boba_Fett_2001

    Boba_Fett_2001 Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2000
    You missed a decimal in your number. I've corrected it.
     
  6. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Three. A bird, a deer, and a skunk. The deer totaled my car. :( The skunk just left everything smelling bad.
     
  7. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Apr 3, 2002
    3. Two squirrels and one raccoon. I tired to dodge them. One of those squirrels did not die well. I saw in my review mirror how is jumped and squirmed around before settling down dead.

    What if it was a really large bug? I swear one hit my windshield and left a thick splatter the size of my hand.
     
  8. Rylo Ken

    Rylo Ken Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2015
    If you go on a long enough road trip that the only thing your wiper fluid is really doing is spreading the thick layer of bug juice more evenly over your windshield, that probably counts as a kill.
     
  9. Ender Sai

    Ender Sai Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Feb 18, 2001
    HOW MANY THINGS DONE YOU KILLED WITH YOUR CAROMOBILE?

    Americans: Oh, golly, lots.
    Non-Americans: None. I once saw a dead animal though.
     
  10. SuperWatto

    SuperWatto Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Australian: got punched in the face by passing kangaroos lots, though.
     
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  11. Rylo Ken

    Rylo Ken Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 19, 2015
    driving through someone else's skunk kill zone is always nice. Gets all up in the vents.

    In Colorado, the road between Telluride and Monroe is partly lined with deer fences. They can only cross in certain locations, designed to limit the danger to themselves and us. Obviously this is hard to do on a national scale. But it's a shame that all federal highways that needed them weren't designed with built in animal crossings.

    [​IMG]
    "Lazy road crew paints white line over dead squirrel."
     
  12. Ender Sai

    Ender Sai Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Feb 18, 2001
    Oh our roadsides are littered with dead kangaroos. They are all muscle and will mess your cars up well.

    It's just that we like tradition, so we tend to let most of our road based killing be done by lorry (truck) drivers. There seems to be something satisfying for them about slaughtering wildlife, crashing into young families and wiping them out in a contest of tonnage, and murdering prostitutes. We don't get in their way*.

    (* Unless we have small children, then apparently wherever we are in is their way)
     
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  13. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    No idea, though I've hit 3 cats that after they ran into the street while I drove by. They all took off, though one was obviously hurt and I tried to catch him, but after running into the 2nd yard, I decided I shouldn't be in people's yards in a strange neighborhood at night.
     
  14. ShaneP

    ShaneP Ex-Mod Officio star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001

    I did hit a deer once. [face_shhh] Mighty tasty but with a slight metallic tinge on the palette.

    That's about it. One roadkill/tender vittles.
     
  15. Sarge

    Sarge Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 1998
    I just had deer meatloaf for supper. A little gamey, but I liked it. Didn't even need ketchup.
     
  16. ShaneP

    ShaneP Ex-Mod Officio star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001

    Venison….mmmm...
     
  17. Sarge

    Sarge Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 1998
    ShaneP, have you ever tried moose? I haven't had it in years, but IIRC it more tender and less gamey than venison. And the best sandwich I ever ate was roast moose tongue.
     
  18. ShaneP

    ShaneP Ex-Mod Officio star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001

    No but I've heard it's rated higher than elk, which I think is mighty tasty.
     
  19. Ender Sai

    Ender Sai Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Feb 18, 2001
    I like how you're so desensitised to guns, that you'll now kill more than just the rest of the planet with your cars. And you devour it too.

    Congrats, Best Jabba, this thread is an excellent metaphor for America's place in the world.