JCC What's your lifetime roadkill count?

Discussion in 'Community' started by Rylo Ken, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. Master_Lok Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 18, 2012
    star 5
    Zero. Though we did decapitate a locust that was dumb enough to hitch a ride on an active windshield wiper.
  2. Coruscant Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 15, 2004
    star 7
    Dozens, probably. As you'd expect, he'll veer, rather sharply, towards a scared-out-of-its-mind squirrel if he thinks it'll get him the kill.

    Edit: btw, my lifetime roadkill count is 236 if you count all the times you were roadkill after our Hearthstone battles
    Last edited by Coruscant, Jan 11, 2017
  3. Rylo Ken Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2015
    star 5
    Squirrels are kind of no-win. The only sure-fire method to avoid one is to brake to a complete stop and wait for the squirrel's dodging algorithm to fully engage. This is fine on a side street in a residential neighborhood without traffic, but elsewhere it's problematic.
  4. EHT New Films Manager

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Sep 13, 2007
    star 7
    I love how squirrels can be 90% of the way across the street, but somehow still arrive at "Car! I can't make it the rest of the way! Abort mission and go all the way back!".
    Rylo Ken likes this.
  5. Boba_Fett_2001 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 11, 2000
    star 8
    You missed a decimal in your number. I've corrected it.
  6. poor yorick Ex-Mod

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2002
    star 6
    Three. A bird, a deer, and a skunk. The deer totaled my car. :( The skunk just left everything smelling bad.
  7. VadersLaMent Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Apr 3, 2002
    star 10
    3. Two squirrels and one raccoon. I tired to dodge them. One of those squirrels did not die well. I saw in my review mirror how is jumped and squirmed around before settling down dead.

    What if it was a really large bug? I swear one hit my windshield and left a thick splatter the size of my hand.
  8. Rylo Ken Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2015
    star 5
    If you go on a long enough road trip that the only thing your wiper fluid is really doing is spreading the thick layer of bug juice more evenly over your windshield, that probably counts as a kill.
  9. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 10
    HOW MANY THINGS DONE YOU KILLED WITH YOUR CAROMOBILE?

    Americans: Oh, golly, lots.
    Non-Americans: None. I once saw a dead animal though.
  10. SuperWatto Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2000
    star 6
    Australian: got punched in the face by passing kangaroos lots, though.
    Sarge and Juliet316 like this.
  11. Rylo Ken Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 19, 2015
    star 5
    driving through someone else's skunk kill zone is always nice. Gets all up in the vents.

    In Colorado, the road between Telluride and Monroe is partly lined with deer fences. They can only cross in certain locations, designed to limit the danger to themselves and us. Obviously this is hard to do on a national scale. But it's a shame that all federal highways that needed them weren't designed with built in animal crossings.

    [IMG]
    "Lazy road crew paints white line over dead squirrel."
    Last edited by Rylo Ken, Jan 11, 2017
  12. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 10
    Oh our roadsides are littered with dead kangaroos. They are all muscle and will mess your cars up well.

    It's just that we like tradition, so we tend to let most of our road based killing be done by lorry (truck) drivers. There seems to be something satisfying for them about slaughtering wildlife, crashing into young families and wiping them out in a contest of tonnage, and murdering prostitutes. We don't get in their way*.

    (* Unless we have small children, then apparently wherever we are in is their way)
    SuperWatto likes this.
  13. Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    No idea, though I've hit 3 cats that after they ran into the street while I drove by. They all took off, though one was obviously hurt and I tried to catch him, but after running into the 2nd yard, I decided I shouldn't be in people's yards in a strange neighborhood at night.
  14. ShaneP Ex-Mod Officio

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 7

    I did hit a deer once. [face_shhh] Mighty tasty but with a slight metallic tinge on the palette.

    That's about it. One roadkill/tender vittles.
    Last edited by ShaneP, Jan 11, 2017
  15. Sarge Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 1998
    star 5
    I just had deer meatloaf for supper. A little gamey, but I liked it. Didn't even need ketchup.
  16. ShaneP Ex-Mod Officio

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 7

    Venison….mmmm...
  17. Sarge Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 1998
    star 5
    @ShaneP, have you ever tried moose? I haven't had it in years, but IIRC it more tender and less gamey than venison. And the best sandwich I ever ate was roast moose tongue.
  18. ShaneP Ex-Mod Officio

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 7

    No but I've heard it's rated higher than elk, which I think is mighty tasty.
  19. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 10
    I like how you're so desensitised to guns, that you'll now kill more than just the rest of the planet with your cars. And you devour it too.

    Congrats, Best Jabba, this thread is an excellent metaphor for America's place in the world.