JCC What's your lifetime roadkill count?

Zero. Though we did decapitate a locust that was dumb enough to hitch a ride on an active windshield wiper.

 

Dozens, probably. As you'd expect, he'll veer, rather sharply, towards a scared-out-of-its-mind squirrel if he thinks it'll get him the kill.

Edit: btw, my lifetime roadkill count is 236 if you count all the times you were roadkill after our Hearthstone battles

 

Squirrels are kind of no-win. The only sure-fire method to avoid one is to brake to a complete stop and wait for the squirrel's dodging algorithm to fully engage. This is fine on a side street in a residential neighborhood without traffic, but elsewhere it's problematic.

 

I love how squirrels can be 90% of the way across the street, but somehow still arrive at "Car! I can't make it the rest of the way! Abort mission and go all the way back!".

 

You missed a decimal in your number. I've corrected it.

 

Three. A bird, a deer, and a skunk. The deer totaled my car. The skunk just left everything smelling bad.

 

3. Two squirrels and one raccoon. I tired to dodge them. One of those squirrels did not die well. I saw in my review mirror how is jumped and squirmed around before settling down dead.

What if it was a really large bug? I swear one hit my windshield and left a thick splatter the size of my hand.

 

If you go on a long enough road trip that the only thing your wiper fluid is really doing is spreading the thick layer of bug juice more evenly over your windshield, that probably counts as a kill.

 

HOW MANY THINGS DONE YOU KILLED WITH YOUR CAROMOBILE?

Americans: Oh, golly, lots.
Non-Americans: None. I once saw a dead animal though.

 

Australian: got punched in the face by passing kangaroos lots, though.

 

driving through someone else's skunk kill zone is always nice. Gets all up in the vents.

In Colorado, the road between Telluride and Monroe is partly lined with deer fences. They can only cross in certain locations, designed to limit the danger to themselves and us. Obviously this is hard to do on a national scale. But it's a shame that all federal highways that needed them weren't designed with built in animal crossings.


"Lazy road crew paints white line over dead squirrel."

 

Oh our roadsides are littered with dead kangaroos. They are all muscle and will mess your cars up well.

It's just that we like tradition, so we tend to let most of our road based killing be done by lorry (truck) drivers. There seems to be something satisfying for them about slaughtering wildlife, crashing into young families and wiping them out in a contest of tonnage, and murdering prostitutes. We don't get in their way*.

(* Unless we have small children, then apparently wherever we are in is their way)

 

I did hit a deer once. Mighty tasty but with a slight metallic tinge on the palette.

That's about it. One roadkill/tender vittles.

 

I just had deer meatloaf for supper. A little gamey, but I liked it. Didn't even need ketchup.

 

Venison….mmmm...

 

ShaneP, have you ever tried moose? I haven't had it in years, but IIRC it more tender and less gamey than venison. And the best sandwich I ever ate was roast moose tongue.

 

No but I've heard it's rated higher than elk, which I think is mighty tasty.

 

I like how you're so desensitised to guns, that you'll now kill more than just the rest of the planet with your cars. And you devour it too.

Congrats, Best Jabba, this thread is an excellent metaphor for America's place in the world.