Amph what's your novel about?

It's all Obi-Wan's fault. He's jealous. He's holding you back.

 

Needs a hook.

 

An all-girl rock band with an retro-80's vibe tours the galaxy in the distant future, getting into all sorts of adventures, like fighting off space pirates, girl gangs on war-torn planets, and fighting off creepy stalker-ish admirers, like Draak, the God-Emperor of War.

 

It's called Sugarshock!

 

it's about a guy who has trouble sleeping, and so he experiences a psychotic break where his personality splits and half of his personality wants him to do all of this selfish destructive stuff while his other half is thinking about others.
he becomes anarchic and starts blowing up corporations and runs around in his underwear and blows a hole through the back of his throat and that kills the fun-loving side of him and he gets with some hot goth chick and they live happily ever after

 

A Die Hard-esque action thriller that takes place during Sukkot.

 

An alt history in which Ronald Reagan ate M&Ms instead of jelly beans, resulting in the collapse of diplomatic talks with Russia because Gorbachev doesn't eat chocolate and is offended when they have their meeting in the White House, resulting in World War III and the rise of the Middle East free from U.S. imperialism.

I like that the most minor changes can change the course of human history.

 

yeah but where the **** is patton? if it doesnt have patton or at least churchil in it, it isnt real alternate history

robert e lee is also acceptable

 

Thomas D Patton is the main character, and a member of the CIA working in Afghanistan when the war begins. He then has to infiltrate the Red Curtain and attempts to assassinate Gorbachev, where he has a deadly showdown with a young KGB agent: Vladimir Putin.

 

better.

personally, im thinking about doing an entire "Worlds of Patton" series which would skip around into various universes that explore the central question "what if george s patton was ________"

for instance, the first entry will posit patton as Pa Tong, a scheming eunuch who rises to become the power behind the throne in Han dynasty China, before being killed in a sedan chair accident

another one i'd like to do is Nikola P Tonsla, a brilliant and eccentric serbian inventor who invents a tank and then runs over thomas edison with it

another casts him as George RR Patton, who never writes the ****ing books because he's too busy smoking cigars

 

it's about a guy who experiences a psychotic break. he's at work and the boss tells him to order blue pens, but he orders black pens.
the boss gets mad at him, he doesn't care. he stands in the dusky limelight holding a black pen as the boss reprimands him holding a blue pen. they commence a pen-battle and the hero stabs the boss in the heart with a black pen and then starts a cult with his black pen and summons Lord Cthulu to reign a thousand years.

 

A scientist (like Doc Brown) makes a time machine out of a Fax/Copy machine,duct tape, some cheese and a tanning booth. The way it works is you take a photo from a certain year it was taken say 1880. Place the photo in the machine, lay down in the tanning both & presto! You are back in 1880 the moment the picture was taken!

I call it Back to the Tanning Both Mr. Chrononaut!

 

So Robert E Lee travels through the jungles of deepest Africa with his loyal black servants. In the deepest Congo he comes across Nickolas Tesla who has tamed the local savages with the power of Electricity.

 

A cult of fish people who live forever unless someone kills them, they try to gain more members in their underwater city because they're fish-people and they're kind of amphibious and they worship Lord Cthulu.
Anyways. One man, half robot, half machine, decides that he's going to have fish for lunch, he goes to the underwater world and blasts away the fish-people trying to summon Lord Cthulu. Normally silent, he says one thing, "i hate lobster" and proceeds to gnarl on the fish-people proposing half-cannibalism as the fish-people are half fish, half people.
Satan comes into the mix and Satan is all like, "NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME! I'M UNIQUE AND AN INDIVIDUAL!" Satan, in his half male, half female form, erects a giant statue of himself in front of the fish people and then proceeds to fornicate with it.
Shocking.
the fish people explode and Lord Cthulu fornicates with the statue as well.
the end.

 

What part of history is that last one drawn from?

 

Everyone in the world experiences a vision at the same time. The vision confirms the existence of a deity, but whose deity? All the religions of the world claim ownership and immediately go to war with each other ushering in a new era of militant zealotry. A small band of underground atheists band together and discover that the 'vision' is in fact a hoax and they set about proving this to the world before its imminent destruction.

 

Needs more patton

 

Obviously the Vision is a holographic projection of George C Scott standing in front of the American Flag.

 

i wish Lovecraft was still alive

 

Clearly it will be set in post alternative history America following Patton's war with Russia. It's an alternative history and unwritten future story all in one. The story subtext is really how the military industrial complex kept America safe and how guns, guts and God made America the best. The main hero, Chett or Randy, has his own IMDB page and can lift 250 lbs.

 

Then I suppose the main hero fights the band of atheists, and it's a Christian film?

 

White powder may be involved.

 

A true vision of Ares himself!

 

Iw3

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