When all you have left... (A JA story)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Eryce, Mar 25, 2000.

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  1. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    Hi..*waves and smiles shyly*. This is my first posting so please be kind. I'm a big fan of Obi-torture so expect lotsa angst

    The confrontation


    Obi-Wan's head cocked to one side with genuine curiosity on his face, studying Qui-Gon's expression, as if trying to judge out the man's sincerity. Qui-Gon did not flinch from the intensity of the gaze but his heart thudded unbearably in his chest.

    Please forgive me, Padawan. Please.

    "I'm sorry, Master Jinn. You want forgiveness but unfortunately, that is the one thing I cannot grant you." Real regret was now in those sea green eyes. "I really want to. I want to be able to forgive you and emerge from this sea of misery that you have abandoned me to. I want to be free of my anger and hurt. More than anything, I want wake up from this nightmare and pretend that the last two months never happened." With those pain laced words, a ghost of a smile graced those pale features. Obi-Wan turned away from his former Master to gaze out into the open horizon with his fists clenched tightly to the railing. "But I can't. I won't. Anger and pain are the only reasons why I've survived so far, keeping tethered to reality and stopping this slide into this pit of depression that threatens to destroy me everyday. I am no longer a Jedi and anger is something I have learnt to embrace. You've succeeded in taking all that I believed in, I won't let you take away the only thing I have left to cling to." Turning back, he fixed Qui-Gon with an almost sad look. "So now you see, I won't forgive you because I cannot. Not now. Perhaps not ever."

    His green eyes grew unreadable, Obi-Wan gave his former Master a cool glance. "In the future, Master Jinn, I would appreciate it if you would stay out of my head." Obi-Wan tapped the side of his head. "Number one, you no longer have the right.." Mocking grin. "..and number two, you might not like what you'd find there. Fear is the path to the dark side and one fears what one does not understand." Obi-Wan paused for a moment and then his tone grew hard. "After all, Qui-Gon Jinn, you cannot understand emotions that you cannot feel."

    With that, Obi-Wan bowed and left, leaving Qui-Gon chilled by more than the wind.

    Comments please? Pretty please?
  2. Kim-kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 1999
    star 3
    WOW......
    I WANT MORE!!!!!!

    Kim B
  3. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Wow...this raises a LOT of questions! Is Obi-Wan turning to the Dark Side? Is this what happened after Melida/Daan or is it something else? What's going to happen next? And most importantly, when are you going to post again with some answers?
  4. Jedi Igraine Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 20, 1999
    star 1
    Excellent beginning. Now post more please.
  5. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Ooohhh. I like Obi-Wan telling Qui-Gon off like that. I'm certainly interested in knowing what brought them to this point.
    Post often, post soon!
  6. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    Do comment and tell me if this scene works. I'm hoping it'll come out as funny... not... iffy. *cringe*

    Two months before

    Coruscant

    Sometimes, Obi-Wan thought with a mental sigh, being a Jedi isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

    Most days he was proud of who he was, a Jedi, a defender of light and protector of innocent. Most days, he was perfectly willing to face any form of hardship, giving up on many comforts of life that most people take for granted in the name of peace. A warm bed, a hot bath and decent cooking. After all, did he not wade through a stinking swamp for two weeks in a row, searching for some obscure prophet that the people of the planet Sendar insisted needed to be found before the general elections which could end years of strife and civil war? The prophet who also turned out be a cranky old man who took a perverse delight in Obi-Wan's misfortune when he fell face-down in muck and ended up "wearing" the most interesting combination of the rotting vegetation and mud. By the time they got back to the capital, the mud had dried and he stank? badly. Needless to say, the general population avoided him (even his Master took pains to avoid standing next to him) and he spent the rest of the day in the fresher. But he did complain about this loss in dignity? Well, maybe a little, but he took it as one of the many hurdles in the life of a Jedi, albeit a smelly one.

    Most days, danger that would have made most grown men whimper with terror was something he faced head-on with a smile on his lips. Running really fast while deflecting laser blasts was just another mundane aspect of his life. Facing three headed monsters with tentacles which were as long as he was tall, without ending up as the main course of lunch was another. Obi-Wan shuddered, thinking back to his most "dangerous" mission, entertaining a bored wife of a very important ambassador while her husband negotiated a peace agreement. In fact, the ambassador was absolutely ecstatic that someone under 20 was available and insisted that Obi-Wan stayed with his wife, saying that she was fond of children. That was when he found out that she had an over abundance of maternal instinct, treating him like a toddler in need of constant attention at all hours of the day. And she that could be rather shrill when he tried to convince her that he was a mature Jedi, not a baby in need of a bedtime story. He was rather suspicious when the tears magically dried up after he gave in, aghast that he made her cry. The young Jedi protested quite vehemently to his amused Master but the only reply he got was "We all must do what we must, young Padawan. This would be your little contribution to the proceedings." The Master has spoken and he was trapped with no escape. The talks lasted for 4 days and the whole time passed slowly for Obi-Wan in a nightmarish blur of hours of baby talk, tight hugs to an ample bosom, pinched cheeks and lullabies in a horribly high pitched voice (personally, Obi-Wan thought a singing bantha would sound better), effectively eliminating any possibility of sleep. When his Master finally came to rescue him, Obi-Wan practically dragged a smirking Qui-Gon out of the building and into the waiting shuttle.

    Yes, most days, he could and would face anything that the life would throw at him with a serene countenance with plenty of jokes to spare. In his fifteen years of life, he has learnt that life had the soul of a prankster and that it had appointed Obi-Wan as the perfect victim. Which would probably explain the swamp. And ambassador's wife. And why he was quietly escorting two suitably eminent ambassadors from a warring planet through the halls of the Jedi Temple while Qui-Gon was attending a council meeting. Two ambassadors who were at this moment in time, "discussing" with increasing volume about the characteristics of their respective family members with words that probably shouldn't be heard in the company of children while Obi-Wan tried to keep them from killing each other.

    "Your mother is an ugly <censored> d
  7. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Obi with an attitude!!

    I like it, I like it
  8. Maelisaandii Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2000
    star 2
    Very cool, this is, yeeeeesss.
  9. light_sabe_r Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    now this sound more like the Obi-WanI got to love in TPM.

    Keep going!

    @SABE*:):::::::::::::::::
  10. Hiroko01 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 1998
    star 3
    The thought and plot put behind this is absolutely awesome, but the opening dialogue kinda reminds you of an evil doctor expounding on his plot to take over the world. People don't reveal their soul in one sitting; sometimes not at all. Rarely do they do it only in words, anyhow.
  11. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Hey, this is good! I'm very interested to find out what happened between Obi and Qui, so hurry and post more!
  12. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    Hiroko01, Obi was trying to make Qui-Gon guilty What better way than to tell him?
  13. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    "...Obi-Wan as the perfect victim..."

    I think we all agree about THAT, don't we, girls?

    I liked this post a lot! Especially the most dangerous mission of being in the care of the ambassador's wife! And Qui-Gon's reply: "We all do what we must, young Padawan."

    Keep going, keep going!
  14. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    Umm.. hi again. Just wanted to ask my fellow Obi-torture fan mates something. I have ideas for two short stories but there isn't much of a plot in both of them... just a whole lot of obi-torture and obi-angst. Am I allowed to post that? Or do you people have anything against plotless stories? Do tell me so I can decide whether to actually commit them to writing or just... format that sector of my brain

  15. TheLastApocalypse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 1999
    star 4
    pleez post! anything with Obi-Torture!
  16. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    More soon please?


    Kithera
  17. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    I don't know what to tell you about that, Eryce, because I wrote something once that had the plot revealed at the very end, and three quarters of the way through, I got blasted for torturing Obi-Wan without a plot. I don't know if the writer in question ever did read the end and find out that there WAS a reason behind it, but the rebuke still stings a little whenever I think of it. So you might want to scrape enough plot together to say "this is just a short scene" and make it halfway believable.

    Of course, ninety percent of the people here don't seem to care about plots, but I do. We're all struggling here with our own weaknesses, at least I am, so I won't blast you for trying. If you do decide to post without a plot, you might just warn us in advance, though.
  18. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    Jane Jinn, I did read your story and enjoyed it So I guess that makes me a few screws loose in the head You're a great writer. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    How about this? There'll be a reason WHY Obi is being tortured and HOW he got into the situation. BUt, I won't elaborate much on it, maybe just a paragraph or two. What I mean is this, I'll go straight to the torture scene and explain how he got captured and why. Not entirely plotless but entirely plotfull either.

    What say you, my fellow Obi-torture mates? I do need feedback on this because I wouldn't want to get flames after I've posted this claiming I'm sadistic and a child abuser etc etc etc.
  19. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Sounds good to me! A short paragraph of explanation is all that is needed, I think, so start writing! And by the way, thanks for the kind words.
  20. JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2000
    star 5
    Okay I just wanted to tell you this looks really cool so far.
  21. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Don't get so caught up in your little torture scenes that you completely forget this promising story! I would like to read more of this IN ADDITION to whatever you're thinking up, so please post more!
  22. epic Ex Mod / RSA

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 1999
    star 7
    I concur. Post more, you must.
  23. Eryce Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 29, 2000
    star 2
    Hope there are still people out there interested in the story

    **************************************


    Force, I'm tired!

    Obi-Wan went boneless as he sank into the couch in his quarters. He had finally managed to get the two squabbling ambassadors to the required destination relatively unscathed when this unexpected weariness crept over him, leaving him with barely enough strength to walk to his quarters. It had been hard, the last few months, going from mission to mission with barely any rest in between. Qui-Gon finally made a formal request for a short break after they were nearly killed ten days ago by a band of rebels who did not appreciate what they deemed as interference in their planet, and both Master and Apprentice returned to Coruscant for some much needed rest.

    Obi-Wan sighed and gently massaged his temple. He should probably get started on his chores but he couldn't make his body obey his command to get up. Fatigue had been a constant companion that no amount of sleep could dispel, even after seven days of rest. And it didn't help that he just recovered from a mild case of flu. He knew he should probably see the Healers for a medical examination but oh, how he hated those sterile white rooms. After having been more than his share of medical bays, just being in close proximity with a Healer gave him the jeebers. It was probably nothing, just his body recovering from the effects of flu and exhaustion. Nothing more. Nothing a few days of rest wouldn't cure anyway.

    I hope! If I have to get another shot? I swear I'll kill myself!

    In the mean time, all had to do was to hide his poor state of health from his Master. No sense worrying the man needlessly . Luckily, his Master was much too busy cooped up in the Council Room to keep a close eye on his apprentice. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and pushed the tiredness to a corner of his mind. He had to get started on his chores or his Master would have plenty to say about his lack of commitment to the cleanliness of their quarters. He wasn't sure he was up to one of Qui-Gon's lectures in his state. He'd probably end up falling asleep in mid-lecture and Qui-Gon would definitely have something to say about that!

    He was getting to his feet when it hit him. A white hot shaft of pain streaked through his head. Clutching his head, he swayed drunkenly for a few seconds before collapsing back on to the couch. Curling up into a ball, he writhed painfully while tears trickled through his tightly closed eyes down his cheeks. The pain subsided, the flared again and again, each time robbing him of his breath and his ability to think. It felt like lighting was sweeping through his head, each bolt sharp and piercing. Unable to do anything to stop the pain, he curled up tighter and rocked himself, biting himself on the lips until he could taste blood.

    // Obi-Wan?

    His Master calling him. Obi-Wan could hear the worry in the voice. He wanted to reassure the man but the pain was pulsing, fire hot now, it was beyond his ability to focus enough to form a coherent sentence. Hurts. It was the best he could do. He was crying earnestly now, the sobs of pain reverberating loudly in the quarters. He could hear nothing beyond his own moans of pain ringing in his ears. He wanted to welcome the oblivion of unconsciousness but it danced just beyond his reach, the pain anchoring him firmly to reality.

    // Hold on, I'm coming!

    As suddenly as it began, the fire in his head stopped. The white hot sensation in his head subsided to a bearable throb. His lungs took in much needed air, after the struggle to breathe just a few seconds ago. It was all he could do, breathing. Everything else required too much energy. Exhausted, he didn't try to fight as he faded into nothingness.

  24. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Woo-hoo! There's more! And a nice bit of Obi-Torture it is indeed! I like the way Obi-Wan is not excited about seeing the Healers again, and the way they give him the "jeebers." His worry about falling asleep during one of Qui-Gon's lectures was amusing as well. Another good line was "If I have to get another shot...I'll kill myself!"

    And now the big question; migraine or brain tumor? Or a special kind of Force lightning or other attack aimed at him from an unknown, exterior source? Post more, post soon!
  25. Jedi Milan-Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2000
    star 1
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