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Oceania When I become the Evil Overlord....

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Sith Magician, Mar 21, 2001.

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  1. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    When I become the Evil Overlord

    1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors,
    not face-concealing ones.

    2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

    3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept
    anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

    4. Shooting is NOT too good for my enemies.

    5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the
    Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of
    Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.

    6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

    7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or
    are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be,
    "No, just sensible."

    8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill
    me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No."
    and shoot him.

    9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately
    in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three
    weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

    10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely
    necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button
    labeled "Danger: Do Not Push".

    11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is
    destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.

    12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small
    hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

    13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need
    to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker
    enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

    14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an
    accident: I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't
    believe it.

    15. I will make it clear that I DO know the meaning of the word "mercy";
    I simply choose not show them any.

    16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws
    in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before
    implementation.

    17. All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom
    of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any
    accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the
    aforementioned disposal.

    18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as
    members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military
    boots or adhere to any other dress codes.

    19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any
    other form of last request.

    20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find
    that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to
    activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his
    plan into operation.

    21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad
    scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently
    twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's
    caused.

    22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just
    one thing I want to know."

    23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to
    their advice.


     
  2. Shara_82

    Shara_82 Administrator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2001
    Need an apprentice? [face_devil]
     
  3. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    Always :)

    read the list carefully, there'll be a test...
     
  4. Shara_82

    Shara_82 Administrator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2001
    I shall commit the list to memory, My Master. Um...can it be open book?
     
  5. sith star

    sith star Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 29, 2000
    who says that you will become this over lord ?
     
  6. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    Who says I won't?
    and if you wish to be my apprentice, best you take that up with Shara....
     
  7. sith star

    sith star Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 29, 2000
    oh sorry I thought that you wanted to be mine :)
     
  8. Shara_82

    Shara_82 Administrator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2001
    I am ready, My Master.
     
  9. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    Then strike down SithStar and take your place at my side....
     
  10. Shara_82

    Shara_82 Administrator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2001
    At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we shall have revenge.

    Oh wait, wrong enemy.

    Always two there are. No more, no less.
     
  11. Ghost_of_Caesar

    Ghost_of_Caesar Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2000
    Now THIS is how the Sith Manifesto should have read. Need a kingmaker, by chance, SM?
     
  12. JediEnna

    JediEnna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2000
    ah but they have made one fatal mistake....
     
  13. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    I can accept applications for just about any position GoC, just make sure your position doesn't become unnecessary to the cause.....


    And another addition:

    24: If I find it absolutely essential for my stronghold to contain bottomless shafts and towering catwalks, I shall install handrails.
     
  14. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    Ok Jedi Enna, feel like sharing? [face_plain]
     
  15. Shara_82

    Shara_82 Administrator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2001
    I'm sure she will. JediEnna is such a nice sharing person, who has my copy of Balance Point and Union, and so is probably in a very good, sharing mood...
     
  16. Ghost_of_Caesar

    Ghost_of_Caesar Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2000
    Kingmaker unnecessary to the cause? Blasphemy! That's like saying Communism happened without Karl Marx. Behind every powerful man is an even more powerful figure - the one who allows him to exist but shuns the spotlight.

    "The future? Comrade Chairman, I AM the future."
     
  17. soneil

    soneil Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2000
    I know of a potential flaw. You're a Sith Lord with a son who likes Jedi. Better keep him away from that damn fool Master Soneil. [face_mischief]
     
  18. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    Yes, he likes Jedi, but if he could be turned...

    And GoC, yes, I'll let you think your in charge, for a time... :)
     
  19. JediMasterKieca

    JediMasterKieca Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2000
    Beware of the dark side....

    Anger, hate, agression, the dark side of the Force are they, easily they flow...do not underestimate the power of the Sith...





    ***********






    JOIN THE JEDI! WE GIVE FREE BEER!
     
  20. Ki-Bara-Mundi

    Ki-Bara-Mundi Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2000
    It's gonna take an awful lot of beer to turn SM. ;)
     
  21. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    But I am willing to let her try,
    Bring on the free beer, do your worst! :D
     
  22. The_Scream_Man

    The_Scream_Man Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    May 1, 2000
    I still wanna hear Jennas "mistake" in your reasoning!
     
  23. JediEnna

    JediEnna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2000
    they have revealed their plans too soon....now we know who they are.....
     
  24. Ki-Bara-Mundi

    Ki-Bara-Mundi Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2000
    I thought you were going to reveal some huge flaw, but you just pointed out the obvious!
     
  25. Sith Magician

    Sith Magician Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 1999
    Well, I don't remember anyone saying they weren't Sith.....
     
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