Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Sith Magician, Mar 21, 2001.
that would be me i think i bribed someone with nachos for it
I'll give you more nachos....
Ehhh, souls are overrated...
who needs one.
can i have yours then
what are you offering for it?
depends on what you want
pigalek,please dont refer to monkeys as year 7s
its degrading to all monkeys
Im ready to take orders for the drinks
Hey you have to trained first no monkey no matter how hairy can serve drinks naturally at a bar
Obviously Pigalek, you haven't seen some of the bar staff the army employs, and the guys aren't any better
no matter who's behind the bar it's "Barwench! get me....." pretty funny in a combined ranks boozer and it's a Sergeant
get all technical why dont you
good idea im not drunk yet
not drunk, thats impossible! you must be drunk to order beer in here, errrr, where are we?
you in the supreme pigalek universe naturally unfortunatley it is possibly to be here whilest sober but not possible to leave without being intoxicated
I is always feeling drunk, mainly due to lack of sleep and to much beer. But after all the best way to avoid the hangover is to stay drunk.
*transforms into barman*
aaaahhh much better
thats my job!!!!
keep away from me and my bar
Hey, we can never have to many bar ppl, or monkeys.
good point alright my bar lacklies commence with the serving of the drinks and the general intoxication
*everyone sort stumbles around*
Go away for a few days, and the place is covered in cobwebs.
Actually, leave the dust and cobwebs, I like it that way.
A little while ago someone called Dsauce sent me a few more rules she'd like to add :
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but
one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal
laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments
that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my
Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look
like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All
were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not
consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their
use. That way - even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator
and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless - my troops will not
be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even
though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never
utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death
is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of
machinery which is completely indestructable except for one small and
virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is
probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.
Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my
I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems
will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I
will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and
into which I could not accidentally stumble.
All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly
thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely
give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly,
world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or
romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just
to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now
they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let
alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only
key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every
bottom-rung guard in the prison.
If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle,
I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere,
I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for
them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the
forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number
among his army.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable
superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of
but My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?
*runs for the hills*
No rules about stinky jawas there?
I think any kind of Jawa comes into the clever animal category, oh by the way, I see you're shuffling away at a very slow speed.
Release the hounds...