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Oceania When I become the Evil Overlord....

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Sith Magician, Mar 21, 2001.

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  1. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    that would be me i think i bribed someone with nachos for it
  2. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    I'll give you more nachos....
  3. UmmYep Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2001
    star 3
    Ehhh, souls are overrated...
    who needs one. ;)
  4. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    can i have yours then
  5. UmmYep Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2001
    star 3
    what are you offering for it?
  6. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    depends on what you want
  7. SW_Stunt_Monkey Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 18, 2001
    pigalek,please dont refer to monkeys as year 7s
    its degrading to all monkeys
  8. SW_Stunt_Monkey Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 18, 2001
    Im ready to take orders for the drinks
    :cool:
  9. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    Hey you have to trained first no monkey no matter how hairy can serve drinks naturally at a bar
  10. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    Obviously Pigalek, you haven't seen some of the bar staff the army employs, and the guys aren't any better :p
  11. Grizzly Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2000
    star 4
    no matter who's behind the bar it's "Barwench! get me....." pretty funny in a combined ranks boozer and it's a Sergeant :) :D
  12. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    get all technical why dont you
  13. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
  14. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    good idea im not drunk yet
  15. Teknobabel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2000
    star 5
    not drunk, thats impossible! you must be drunk to order beer in here, errrr, where are we?
  16. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    you in the supreme pigalek universe naturally unfortunatley it is possibly to be here whilest sober but not possible to leave without being intoxicated
  17. Teknobabel Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2000
    star 5
    I is always feeling drunk, mainly due to lack of sleep and to much beer. But after all the best way to avoid the hangover is to stay drunk.
  18. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    good idea
    *transforms into barman*
    aaaahhh much better
  19. Stunt_Monkey Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 3
    hey
    thats my job!!!!

    keep away from me and my bar
  20. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    Hey, we can never have to many bar ppl, or monkeys.
  21. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    good point alright my bar lacklies commence with the serving of the drinks and the general intoxication
  22. Pigalek Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2001
    star 5
    *everyone sort stumbles around*
  23. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    Go away for a few days, and the place is covered in cobwebs.
    Actually, leave the dust and cobwebs, I like it that way. [face_devil]

    A little while ago someone called Dsauce sent me a few more rules she'd like to add :


    I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but
    one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

    Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal
    laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments
    that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

    I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my
    Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look
    like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All
    were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive
    mind-set.

    No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not
    consume any energy field bigger than my head.

    I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their
    use. That way - even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator
    and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless - my troops will not
    be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

    I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even
    though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never
    utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death
    is usually instantaneous.)

    No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of
    machinery which is completely indestructable except for one small and
    virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

    No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is
    probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.
    Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my
    bedchamber.

    I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems
    will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I
    will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

    My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and
    into which I could not accidentally stumble.


    All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly
    thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes will surely
    give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

    All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly,
    world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or
    romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

    I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just
    to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

    I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

    I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now
    they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

    I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let
    alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only
    key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every
    bottom-rung guard in the prison.

    If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle,
    I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

    If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere,
    I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for
    them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

    If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the
    forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number
    among his army.

    I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable
    superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of
    keepin
  24. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    but My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?

    *runs for the hills* ;)

    No rules about stinky jawas there?
  25. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    I think any kind of Jawa comes into the clever animal category, oh by the way, I see you're shuffling away at a very slow speed.

    Release the hounds...
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