"When in Rome......" (a JA fanfic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Bastet, Mar 24, 2000.

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  1. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Thank you for your interest in my fanfic! I hope you like it. I'm so nervous about posting this, my hands are shaking. Anyway, this first post doesn't have much to do with the rest of the story, it's just setting it up. I got some ideas for this story from the movie 'Dances with Wolves', but my main inspiration shall remain a secret until I'm done, in case anyone gets the wrong idea or thinks I'm wierd. tongue.gif Anyway, here is my first post.




    Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn sat back in the co-pilot's chair with a sigh of content. "Ah, finally we can relax" he said to the young man seated next to him, his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi.

    Obi-Wan gave a small smile. "If you can call three days trapped on a cramped ship relaxing, master."

    Qui-Gon chuckled. Obi-Wan had made his feelings about the travel arrangements quite clear on their way out to this, their latest mission. They had needed to keep a low profile, so they had had to pilot the small ship themselves. Sadly, the cockpit was almost the most spacious room on board. They did not often have to travel without a pilot, but at least it was good practice for Obi-Wan.

    A low beeping sounded from the nav computer. "We're ready to jump, master." Obi-Wan said with satisfaction. Qui-Gon could tell that his apprentice was just as glad to be through with this mission as he was.

    "Allow me, padawan." Qui-Gon pulled back the hyperdrive lever with relish. "Next stop, Coruscant."

    Obi-Wan sat back and tried to stifle a yawn. "Would you like to sleep first, master? Everything is under control in here."

    The Jedi master smiled appreciatively at his student. Always thinking of me first. But he can barely keep his eyes open. "No Obi-Wan, I'm fine," he said aloud. "You go ahead."

    "Are you sure, master? I'm really not.....[another yawn]......that tired myself."

    Qui-Gon shook his head in amusement. "Go on now, before I have to carry you to bed."

    Obi-Wan smiled sheepishly and headed for the door.

    "Sleep well, padawan."

    "Thank you, master."

    As he headed out into the short, narrow hallway leading to the rest of the ship, Qui-Gon could see his apprentice yawning again. The door slid shut, and then he was alone in the cockpit. And then he started yawning too. Force, but we're both so tired he thought wearily, slumping in his seat.

    Qui-Gon sighed heavily as his thoughts drifted over the last few weeks. Their latest mission had been hard. They had been sent to Ranara, a virtually unknown planet that was barely within the Republic's borders. The Ranarans had little to nothing to do with outsiders, and preferred it that way. They were extremely proud of their self-reliance. So it came as a shock when their president, a man named Gom Tu'lar, had requested Jedi aid. He needed help in settling a major dispute that had arisen between the main planet of Ranara Prime and the various moon colonies scattered throughout the planet. The dispute was mainly over trade routes and taxes, the usual things. But tensions in the Ranaran system were high. Tu'lar knew that if he was not able to settle the disputes, a civil war could erupt at any time. He was aware that the Jedi were known as the great peacemakers of the galaxy, so they had become his last and only hope. But Tu'lar knew that if it became known that he had brought outsiders in to the negotiations, it would cause great resentment and controversy. So the small ship had been at his request. It was his idea of a low profile, since the Ranarans had no need for large galactic faring spacecraft.

    When Qui-Gon and his apprentice arrived, incognito, they had been introduced as negotiation experts from the moon colony of Theyre VII. Unfortunately, no one took sixteen year-old Obi-Wan seriously as an expert, but that had been just the beginning of their problems. The Ranarans were the most incredibly stubborn and uncooperative people Qui-Gon had ever come in contact with. The negotiations were to take place on Ranara Prime, and as the Jedi spent time with the Ranarans, th
  2. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Hey, this is good stuff! I like the way the way the officials never agree on anything except that the dress was ugly. I like the way Obi-Wan gently teases his master. I have a sneaking feeling that I know exactly which blue-green planet is meant! Does this mean they get to wear those delightful togas and show their legs? Hurry and post more!
  3. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Woohoo! It's a reply! Thank you Jane Jinn, thank you thank you thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
    I hate to dissapoint you though, but the blue-green planet is one I just made up. The title of my story won't make since for a while I'm afraid, if it ever does. But there will be some leg showing later on, I promise!
  4. Darth Tristeza Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2000
    star 1
    BOOM!

    Darth T. is left impatiently waiting for some more story.

    It's good! (The story, I mean, not the fact that they're gonna crash.)
  5. Kit' Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 30, 1999
    star 5
    MORE?? MORE???? I must just have a thing for Obi-wan in a toga. Hmmmmm

    Kithera
  6. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    More JA, outstanding!
    Bastet-Great job!
  7. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    So they don't end up in Rome and don't get to wear togas. Hmmm. What's the next best thing?

    "I must insist that you wear native costume while you are among us, gentlemen. And here it is--Speedos!"

    "Master, do I have to wear this thing? Even my light saber is longer!"

    I'm in a silly mood, just having been communicating with Kit', so please disregard everything on this post except the urgent plea to write more, soon!
  8. Knight Obi Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 1999
    star 3
    ::biting lip to restrain first obvious reply to Jane Jinn.

    Bastet, you mean to tell us that you've been keeping this talent to yourself this entire time? Shame on you! To make up for it, you must write more!
  9. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    THUD

    mouse2 slowly climbs back on to her chair

    I was already thinking about how nice Jedi legs are then Jane Jinn just had to bring up the speedo topic.

    Anyway, post more Bastet! This is great! I want more!
  10. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Erm...perhaps I'd better not say anything else. Except POST!

    [This message has been edited by Jane Jinn (edited 03-24-2000).]
  11. Jedi Knight Cara Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2000
    Great story. All I can say is please post some more.
  12. Knight Obi Wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 17, 1999
    star 3
    Jane Jinn hope you know I was only kidding. I realized what I said could have been misinterpreted to be mean. That wasn't my intention
  13. jedi_master_gimpy Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 4
    Wow!! This story is lookin' might purty!! I can't wait for more!!
  14. JSkywalker Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2000
    Great Post! More?!!!!!
    Obi-Wan in a toga <g>, now there's a sight for sore eyes!

    Jess
  15. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Thank you all for your kind comments! You guys are great! I have actually had this story brewing in my head since Christmas, but it has taken me forever to get anything written. What you just read was my sixth or seventh take on the first chapter. I had to have a good reason for getting them crashed on the planet without it sounding Trekkish, you know, like this:

    "Master! Oh no! There is an inverse proton flux in the secondary valve for the main hyperdrive reactor core's primary subsystem! We must do something about it quick!"

    "Relax, padawan, all we have to do is stabilize the main flow of neutronium in the rear intake for the hyperdrive motivator, but without compromising the pressure on the main stabilizer's heat induction coils."

    "On no Master, it's too late! It's an overload! We're gonna crash! Aaaahhhh!"

    So anyway, I'm glad you like it so far. I hope this next post is okay.



    Obi-Wan Kenobi had been enjoying a restful nap. He had fallen asleep on top of the covers, fully clothed. He had been too tired to even take off his boots. Obi-Wan considered himself lucky to have made it onto the bed before sleep overcame him.

    But as he slept, a strange dream crept into his subconscious. He was standing in the middle of a wide open plain, tall craggy mountains surrounded him on all sides. Suddenly the entire sky overhead lit up with forked lightning, and a booming crash of thunder made the ground shake under his feet. The mountains trembled. Again the sky lit up, and thunder exploded. The mountains started to crack and tumble down into the plain. A violent earthquake tilted the ground and threw Obi-Wan off of his feet.

    BOOM!

    "Wha?" Obi-Wan woke with a start. He realized groggily that he had fallen out of bed and somehow rolled to the other side of the floor.

    BOOM!

    A muffled explosion rocked the deck underneath him. Fully awake now, the young Jedi scrambled to his feet and rushed to the door. "Master!" he yelled, heading for the cockpit.

    BOOM!

    The hallway tilted dangerously, but Obi-Wan grabbed the wall and managed to keep his footing. "What's happening? Are we under attack?!" he asked Qui-Gon as he stumbled into the cockpit, but there was no response. "Master?" He saw the big Jedi lying on the floor beside the co-pilots seat. He had a large wound on his forehead where he must have hit his head on the console.

    BOOM!

    Obi-Wan was thrown forward further into the cockpit and barely missed hitting his own head. Looking out the viewport, he saw that they were back in realspace. The blue-green bulk of a planet loomed large in his vision.

    BOOM!

    Obi-Wan managed to grab hold of the pilot's chair and seat himself. He began punching buttons. All of a sudden, sparks started flying all over the console; the whole thing has shorted out. "Oh no!" Obi-Wan breathed. This isn't happening! We're going to crash!

    BOOM!

    It was then that the young Jedi managed to realize that all of the explosions were coming from the same location, the engines. Bombs? But now he had no way to tell if there really were ships attacking them out there. He pounded random buttons on the console in frustration, but only succeeded in letting off more sparks. Nothing worked!

    For a Jedi, there is no emotion, there is peace, he tried to remind himself, but it was hard. Looking outside, Obi-Wan saw that the planet now filled the entire viewport. And it was still getting larger.

    BOOM!

    Once the latest explosion subsided, Obi-Wan got up and made his way cautiously over to his master. With the aid of the Force, he lifted Qui-Gon into the co-pilots seat and strapped him in. Then he strapped himself in and started praying.

    They were falling toward a large continent on the dayside of the planet. Flames engulfed the ship as it entered the atmosphere, and soon Obi-Wan could feel a rise in cockpit temperature. Just as the heat was becoming unbearable, the flames cleared away, revealing the planet in closer detail. Obi-Wan gasped. They were falling wa
  16. HealerLeona Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 18, 2000
    star 4
    Not wordy, good descriptions.
    I'm looking forward to seeing what's going to happen to the boys.
  17. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    Excellent crash description! Very realistic! I particularly liked the phrase "uninvited tree branches." Good! And now comes the restless native woman waving a knife! Yeah!

    By the way, everybody, I was not offended by your comments on my post. I just hope I made you laugh and not scowl in disgust.

    Post more! Post soon!
  18. Darth Tristeza Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2000
    star 1
    Oh my! That crash description was amazing! I was at the edge of my chair! It made me forget all about the togas...almost.
  19. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Thanks for the kind comments you guys! I'm glad you liked the crash. I hope this next post isn't too boring, cause it's mainly just characterization. But I need to do it, cause the 'restless native woman waving a knife' ( ) is going to be one of the main characters in this story. But never fear, my next post will have plenty of Obi and Qui, if I still have readers by then.



    For a few minutes, Maia, daughter of Kael, just stood there staring at the extraordinary scene before her, the knife still in her hand. She had drawn it out in case the boy tried to attack her or something, but he had fainted instead. Both him and the big man were obviously hurt, but at least their breathing was steady and even. If they were friendly, she hoped they would be all right. If they were not friendly, well, she had here knife.

    Slowly, she crept forward for a closer look. A sudden hissing sound drew her attention to the smoldering, twisted wreckage of metal behind the two men. What is that thing? she asked herself in astonishment. There was smoke pouring out of what looked like a door, and she could see flames inside. It had rained hard recently, so she was not too worried about the forest catching on fire. But that hissing sound was unnerving.

    Drawing her gaze reluctantly from the big metal thing, she turned to study the two unconscious men. The bigger man was lying on his back, so she could get a good look at his face. He had a swelling, bloody bruise on his forehead and a few scratches on his face and neck. But he appeared fine otherwise. Maia thought he looked a little like the chief. They could be brothers she concluded.

    Then she turned to the smaller figure. He was lying on his stomach with his face in the grass. He had one scratched up hand still clutching a big bundle of brown cloth that was lying beside him. Maia decided she had better turn him over to make sure he was all right too. She knelt down beside him and gently rolled him over. When she got a good look at his face, she smiled slightly. Now she was able to confirm what she thought she had seen from the bushes. He was lovely. And he appeared to be about her age. She sat back on her heels and stared at him for a few minutes. There was a large scratch on the side of his head in the midst of another swelling bruise, but he had no other wounds to mar his handsome face. The backs of his hands were cut up pretty bad, though.

    Maia decided that she should do something to help them. Perhaps they'll be friendlier if I do, she thought, getting up to walk over to the small nearby stream. She took out a few squares of cloth she kept in a pouch on her belt and dipped them in the cool water. She hurried back to the two fallen men, still keeping a wary eye on the big hissing metal thing. Propriety dictated that she clean up the older one first. She wished she had bandages, but only the medicine man carried those around wherever he went. Once she wiped all the blood and dirt off the big man's face, Maia was satisfied that the wound had stopped bleeding completely, and was not as bad as it had first appeared. Yes, he'll be fine once his headache goes away.

    Then she turned to the younger man. She carefully cleaned the cut on his head first, and then attended to his hands. There were a few small pieces of something sharp and clear embedded in them. She held a piece on her fingertip and eyed in curiously. It looked like ice, but it was not cold. It must have come from the metal thing. She wanted to stick her head inside for a quick look around, but the fires and smoke made that impossible. So she had to content herself with studying the two men who had come from it.

    They were dressed so odd! And the fact that their skin was fairly light showed that they did not spend a great deal of time outside. So where exactly did they come from? Her gaze drifted over to the path of wreckage leading away from the hunk of metal into the forest. Maia could see that several trees had been broken
  20. Jane Jinn Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2000
    star 5
    This post was good, too. It sets the scene for upcoming conflict possibilities. Maia thinks Obi-Wan is good-looking. However, her father is hard to please, and her boyfriend, Ren, is still trying to come up to his future father-in-law's standards. Enter Obi-Wan, and wow! We all know that he wouldn't have any troubles balancing a bucket on his head and walking over hot coals!

    It would be funny if the family pig came back and started sniffing at the boys just while they're waking up. Obi-Wan comes back into consciousness and realises that something moist and smelly is nuzzling his neck. He leaps up, screeching in alarm, very nearly drawing his light saber and making Toi into Mister Bacon, and Maia stops him.

    "I have to apologise for my pig,"she tells him."He thinks you are a truffel."

    Looking him up and down appraisingly, she then adds,"So do I."

    You see how much your story inspires me already? Keep posting, because I want to keep reading!
  21. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Thanks for your comments Jane Jinn! I'm glad you like my story so far. Heehee, Obi-Wan as a truffle... I hope you like this next part, it's pretty long. But it is more Qui and Obi! Oh, there is something that I forgot to mention about my last post. It was translated by the handy-dandy universal translator I had built into my thread. You'll see what I mean when you read this next part. So here goes!



    The first thing Qui-Gon Jinn was aware of was the fact that his head was pounding. Ow. Then he became aware that he was lying on soft grass with a sweet, pungent odor. His face was warm, and there were birds singing all around. Without even having to call on the Living Force, he was able to tell that there was life all around him. Where am I? he thought groggily. In a rush that made his head spin, he remembered all that had happened before he got knocked out: the explosions, the ship exiting hyperspace, and the planet rushing to meet them.

    So had they crashed? Qui-Gon hoped not, but there was only one way to find out. He slowly opened his eyes. He found himself staring up into a network of brown and green branches under a brilliant blue sky. He shifted his gaze down, and sighed. They had crashed, all right. That ship would never fly again. Qui-Gon turned his gaze sideways, where he had already sensed his padawan lying beside him. Through their bond, the Jedi master could tell that Obi-Wan would be fine; his presence was strong in the Force. He sat up with a groan. His headache had already receded somewhat, but it still pounded pretty bad. Qui-Gon studied his apprentice closely. His breathing was deep and even, and aside from a large cut on the side of his head and smaller ones on his hands, he appeared to be fine. As the big man stared, he realized that the cut on his head had been cleaned recently. Had Obi-Wan done that? Qui-Gon moved his hand to his own forehead, and discovered that his head had also been attended to.

    Before the Jedi could further reflect on the subject, he noticed that his apprentice's robe was lying in a wad beside him, wrapped around something. Moving slowly, Qui-Gon crawled over and unwrapped the bundle. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was the comm unit! He thanked the Force that his padawan had had the foresight to get it. The ship was a charred, burned out hulk; it was far too late to retrieve anything from it now. Peering at the comm closely, Qui-Gon could tell that it was damaged. The cover was partially melted away, and underneath it he could see that several components were damaged. They would have to be patched or replaced. But with what? he asked himself in dismay. He sat back with a heartfelt groan to try and assess the situation.

    He let his gaze wander aimlessly around the clearing, and suddenly he found himself face-to-face with a native. She was sitting on the ground some six meters away and staring at him intently. Force! How could I have not noticed her before? Qui-Gon cursed himself. Her green dress sort of blended in with the bushes behind her, but the Jedi was chagrined that he had not sensed her through the Force. I guess I was a little preoccupied.

    The girl rose into a crouch when she saw that Qui-Gon was looking at her. Her hand strayed toward something shiny at her waist. A knife.

    "It's all right!" Qui-Gon called out to her once he had regained his composure. "I won't hurt you." He held up his hands in a placating gesture to show her they were free of weapons.

    The girl blinked at him in surprise, but her hand relaxed back to her side. She continued to stare at the big Jedi, unsure of what to do.

    "Come here, I need to talk with you." Qui-Gon beckoned her with his hand. The girl shifted slightly, but continued to stare at the Jedi master, not making a move to comply. He could sense her fright through the Force. He remained seated and smiling, to appear as unthreatening as possible. "Please, we need help. I don't even know which planet
  22. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    Keep it up Bastet! This is wonderful! I can't wait to read more!

    Pssst! Jane Jinn you can keep posting as much about Jedi wardrobe as you want. Its a wonderful mental picture that I can start my day with!
  23. LeiaB Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 30, 1999
    star 2
    Bastet - your story is really good. I just started reading it today and I am anxiously waiting for your next installment. You are very descriptive and I have no problem visualizing the scenes you are describing. Great Job
  24. Jedi Master Jenn Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2000
    Hey, What happened here?!?
    I found this thread on the third page!!!

    Please don't stop, this story was off to such a great start.
    POST MORE!
  25. JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 13, 2000
    star 5
    Ohh yes this story is VERY good. I demand a post Bastet.....PUUULLLLLEEEASE?
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