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When My World Crumbles (JA fanfic, sequel to SOTF and NMW)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by The Jedi Princess, Oct 30, 2000.

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  1. The Jedi Princess

    The Jedi Princess Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 30, 1999
    Obi-Wan Kenobi sat in his chair staring into the vastness of space. Not much to see while the ship was in hyperspace, but Obi-Wan was lost in his thoughts.

    He and his Master, Qui-Gon were on their way to their first mission since Obi-Wan's accident. Since Klea's death. Obi-Wan was healed, but his soul would carry the scars long after his body healed.

    Obi-Wan really wanted to go to Thanills. That is where his best friend, Bruck was. Bruck and his Master, Darick, were investigating a chemical warfar weapon that the Thanillians had developed. He wanted to go and back them up, the mission would had gone to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon anyway, but Obi-Wan's accident changed that.

    But the council did not want to give Obi-Wan such a difficult mission on his first mission since the accident. Obi-Wan argued that he was strong, but everyone knew that his body still ached at night. And though he was walking again, he still was not as up to par as he could be. So it was off to Galania to witness the wedding of the crown princess. Galania was a peaceful world. No enemies, not weapons, no exitement, no nothing. It was so unlike the missions that Obi-Wan was use to. But the council had made their decision. And Galania it was. It would only take about a day to get there.

    Obi-Wan's thoughts then turned to Klea. It had been only six weeks since she died. So hard to believe. He let out an audible sigh.

    Qui-Gon, who had been watching from the doorway, stepped into the room and took the seat next to Obi-Wan. He placed his hand on the teen's shoulder.

    The young man did not say anything, but he basked in the love and understanding of his master.

    Two days later, the wedding took place. It was a beautiful event, and though he tried not to, Obi-Wan thought of Klea the whole time. Qui-Gon wanted to throttle the council. While he agreed that Obi-Wan needed a nice easy mission to get his feet wet, a wedding was not the best idea. Not after the teen had lost his first love.

    That night, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan meditated together and then did some of Obi-Wan's rehabiltation exercises. After that, the two shared a pot of tea. Obi-Wan was asleep as his head hit the pillow.

    Qui-Gon stayed up a bit longer and compiled the field report to give to the council. Not much to report. The groom was dashing, the bride radient. The ambassador had to much wine and danced on the tables. Obi-Wan performed well, as a Jedi.

    The Master then turned off the light and went to bed himself. It was several hours later when a call came in on the comlink.

    Qui-Gon was alert immediatly. "Jinn, here."

    The voice on the other end responded. "Apologies for waking you, Master Jedi. But we just recieved a call from the temple. There was an accident and you and your apprentice need to return immediatly."

  2. Obi the Kid

    Obi the Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 13, 2000
    Great beginning JP!! I'm here, just a building a wall for you...gonna be a REALLY tall wall too!!
  3. Arctic_Wolf

    Arctic_Wolf Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 19, 2000
    I could throttle the council also. I wonder what the accident is? Hmmmmm!
    This is looking good JP. Post more soon!
  4. LadyVorgunby

    LadyVorgunby Jedi Youngling star 3

    Sep 2, 2000
    yay JP!

    what else can happen to poor obi?

    can't wait for more...
  5. Jedi Susie

    Jedi Susie Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 12, 2000
    Was wondering how long it would take you to start to post this story...glad to see it wasn't long ^_^

    Hope your vacation (to the computer room) gives *us* plently of posts ^_^
  6. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    YeeHaw a new Jedi Princess story, my day has just been made!!! Good start, Obi is understandably still recovering from both his injuries and from Kleas death. Now on to more about this accident! Hope Bruck and his master play a part in this story, good Bruck is such a great character!
  7. The Jedi Princess

    The Jedi Princess Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 30, 1999
    Qui-Gon sat in a daze long after the com screen went black. The Jedi Master felt as though someone had kicked him in the gut.

    Another one. Another padawan claimed. How was he ever going to tell Obi-Wan?

    From what Mace had revealed. The negotiations had gone sour. And the Thanillians used their chemical weapon against the Jedi. Darick and Bruck managed to get to their ship and take off. They even made it back to Coruscant, but Bruck had breathed in to much of the chemical. Now his lungs were slowly shutting down. Subjecting the padawan to a long and painful death.

    The healers had done what they could, but Bruck Chun's life force was fading. Bruck had asked for Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to come home, so he could say goodbye. From what Mace said, there was not much time.

    Qui-Gon said a calming litany in his head to calm himself. He then ordered that their ship be readied. Then the master went to wake his apprentice and tell him the news.

    Qui-Gon opened the door to Obi-Wan's bedroom and stood there for a moment looking at the sleeping form. He looked so young when he was asleep. Not like a boy who had seen enough death to last two lifetimes.

    Sitting on the edge of the bed, Qui-Gon gently shook Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan, wake up. We need to get back to Coruscant."

    After a few minutes, Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He knew at once something was wrong. "What is it, Master? What's wrong?" The padawan then braced himself for the worst.

    There was a catch in Qui-Gon's voice as he tried to explain as gently as he could to his apprentice, that his best friend was dying.

    Obi-Wan was wringing the bedsheets in his hands without even realizing it. With tears in his eyes, he asked. "Are they sure they can't do anything for him? I mean, I have been on the brink of death a few times, and they always brought me back."

    Wrapping his arms around Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon pulled him into an embrace. "This is different, Obi-Wan. We do not know what we are dealing with, so there is no known cure."

    Unable to hide his distress, his pain, his anger, Obi-Wan shouted. "Sith Hells! Why Bruck? Why ANY Jedi. Don't they get it? Don't they get that we are trying to protect THEM? Why do we do it?"

    Qui-Gon did his best to bring Obi-Wan's emotions under control. "Most people do get it, Padawan. Not all people are as unapprecitative as the Thanillians."

    Obi-Wan rested his head against Qui-Gon's shoulder for a moment. "I know, Master. It's just so...hard. I know my anger is wrong, I apologize."

    "No apoligie is needed, Obi-Wan. I understand your pain." But Qui-Gon did not understand the pain of losing three friends so close together.

    Obi-Wan then pulled away and began to get dressed. "We need to get back as soon as possible. I know Bruck would have done the same for me. I need to see him before...."

    Obi-Wan's throat caught and Qui-Gon pulled him back into another hug. "The ship is ready. We will just get our things and we can leave."
  8. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 3, 2000
    Not Bruck too!! Poor Obi-Wan. Good begining.
  9. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    A new Jedi Princess story??? Yea!!!!

    First you make us terribly fond of Bruck and now you're gonna kill him off???

    Great start!!! Post often, post soon.
  10. Arctic_Wolf

    Arctic_Wolf Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 19, 2000
    I think Obi-Wan is angst's number 1 customer, nothing seems to go right for him.

    Bring on the angst.
  11. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    Oh man not Bruck too, I can't imagine what Obi is going to do if Bruck in fact does die!

    Please post more soon!
  12. Obi the Kid

    Obi the Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 13, 2000
    WOW!!! this is the tallest wall I have ever seen!
  13. jodiwent

    jodiwent Jedi Master star 4

    Feb 11, 2000
    I like this, why havn't I caught on to your other stories. I'm going to have to do some looking for them.
  14. The Jedi Princess

    The Jedi Princess Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 30, 1999
    Qui-Gon thought it best if he and Obi-Wan remained in a meditative state for the trip back to Coruscant. They both needed peace, and hopefully they would find solace in the force.

    Once the ship landed the next day, Obi-Wan was out in a flash. He did not stop to greet the council members who were there. Yoda and Mace watched Obi-Wan run pass them and towards the healers. Qui-Gon wanted to run right after him, but stop and bowed to the other Masters.

    Yoda told him. "Go, need you your apprentice does. Time we have for this later."

    Qui-Gon did not need to be told twice. He turned and ran the way his apprentice went. Yoda then said to no one in particular. "Trial he has. Strong is he. A good Jedi is Obi-Wan, like his Master."

    No one on the landing pad questioned Yoda's cryptic statement.

    By the time Qui-Gon got to the medical ward, Obi-Wan was already at Bruck's bedside. Darick was on the other side.

    Qui-Gon could hear the rasp in Bruck's breathing and wondered why the boy was not being assisted in his breathing.

    Behind him a sad voice said. "Because it would not help matters any."

    Qui-Gon turned to see Leona. "I was afraid of that. But can't you do something for the pain?" One did not need to be a Jedi to see the pain Bruck was in.

    "Yes, we could sedate him, but he insisted on staying awake. He wanted to see, Obi-Wan. To see you. So, please, Qui-Gon. Go in. Time is so short."

    Nodding his understanding, Qui-Gon walked to Obi-Wan's side. Obi-Wan was gripping Bruck's hand and Qui-Gon placed his hand on both of theirs. Qui-Gon cast Darick a sympathetic and understanding look.

    With words that had to cause him pain, Bruck said. "Obi...Master Qui...Thank you for coming."

    Tears burned in the back of Obi-Wan's eyes. "It's all right, Bruck. You are going to be fine."

    The response was a cough, and more raspy words. "Sorry...Obi...can't spar with you at next years...tournament..."

    It was now time for the tears to burn at the back of Qui-Gon's eyes. Bruck had a rough start, but was a promising student. He was also Obi-Wan's best friend. This was going to be harder then he ever imagined.

    Tears were now rolling down Obi-Wan's face. "Oh, Force, Bruck."

    Then it was Bruck's turn to comfort, "S'okay, Obi. I will be one with the force...s'okay. Just wanted to say...good-bye. best friend." By this time, Bruck was struggleing to get the words out. But he did not stop. "My...only...true...friend."

    Obi-Wan gripped Bruck's hand tighter, "You are my best friend too. I will never forget you."

    Qui-Gon was amazed when he saw Bruck smile, in spite of the pain he was in. Bruck then said. "Master...Qui?"

    Qui-Gon leaned down towards Bruck. "I am here, Bruck."

    "Take...take care of...Obi. He is special..."

    Qui-Gon touched the boy's forehead. "You have my word, Bruck. You have been a light in our lives. May the force be with you."

    Finally Bruck turned his head slightly to his own Master. "Master Dar?"

    Darick was on the verge of tears. "Yes, Padawan?"

    "Thank...thank you...for choosing me...I love you."

    Darick leaned so he forehead was resting against Bruck's. "I love you too, Padawan. Always know that. Now, rest. Rest, my beloved Padawan."

    Bruck nodded slightly, and then closed his eyes. Never to open them again.

  15. Sat'zi

    Sat'zi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jan 6, 2000
    He's dead!? NOOOOOOOO!!!!
    Oh my gosh! The angst that's about to come.....
  16. Abbi_Cee

    Abbi_Cee Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 3, 2000
    (sniff)I'm sitting here all weepy over Bruck and I never thought that would happen. (snuffle sniff)
  17. jedi_dawn2dusk

    jedi_dawn2dusk Jedi Youngling star 1

    Sep 22, 2000
    NOOOOOOO! How could you kill off Bruck, after he had changed and everything?!
    (takes deep breaths, and chants "its not real, its not real")

    Sorry just had to get that out. This story is really good, well written and very interesting.
    The title is also perfect: "When My World Crumbles", thats what it fealt like to me, and my friend didn't actually die. That last seen with Bruck was absolutely beautiful, I was actually almost crying.

    All these deaths make me wonder, is it just a test by the Force or is someone doing their best to hurt Obi?
  18. Obi the Kid

    Obi the Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 13, 2000
    More bricks?
  19. imzadi

    imzadi Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 19, 2000
    I need a tissue! Seriously. Oh, man! More please. Poor Obi.

  20. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    I was sooooo hoping for a miracle and Bruck to pull through! You'll have to excuse me while I go have a good cry for poor Obi!
  21. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    Like Kelly I was expecting some angst but for Bruck to be the rest I find myself in need of tissues.

    So sad wonderfully written!!!
  22. Kelly Kenobi

    Kelly Kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 23, 2000
    I sooooo need an update on this story!
  23. The Jedi Princess

    The Jedi Princess Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 30, 1999
    The next few day passed in a blur to Obi-Wan. He sat in his room one late afternoon right before sunset. It a little while he would attend another funeral of a friend. Less then six weeks ago was Klea's funeral. Cerasi didn't even have a funeral.

    Qui-Gon stood unseen at the doorway of Obi-Wan's room. The Master's heart wanted to break. It seemed that his padawan lost everyone and everything he loved. "Padawan, its time to go."

    With a heavy sigh, Obi-Wan stood up from the chair he was in. He looked so much older then his sixteeen years. A realization suddenly came to Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan would soon be seventeen.

    Placing his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders, Qui-Gon led Obi-Wan out of the apartment.

    Qui-Gon had been to many funerals in his time. As a padawan, as a knight, and as a master. But nothing ever made it easier. It such a short time Obi-Wan had lost two close friends. The order lost two promising students. Two Masters had lost their padawans.

    Qui-Gon almost felt guilty that he still had Obi-Wan, when two close friends did not have their own padawans.

    After the funeral, Obi-Wan made a hasty exit. He could not stand to see the looks of pity he was getting. It seemed like everyone was waiting for Obi-Wan to crack. To finally lose it all.

    Qui-Gon watched his padawan leave. He wanted no more then to follow him and offer comfort, but he respected Obi-Wan's need to be alone. Qui-Gon walked over to Darick. "I am sorry, Darick."

    The other master looked at his friend. "Thank you, Qui-Gon. I miss him. He was a light in my life. I just hope he knew that."

    Wanting to offer his friend comfort. "He knew, Darick. He knew."

    "I have to go to the council now. I don't really want to." Darick continued.

    Qui-Gon lightly touched his freind's shoulder. "I could go with you, Dar."

    Darick nodded and the two went to the council hall.

    Elsewhere in the temple, Obi-Wan's walk found him at the archives. He went in and sat at a computer terminal. Then without even thinking, he turned the computer on and starting to pull up every file he could find on Thanills. If he was to bring them down, he would need to know everything he could about them.

    It was several hours later when Obi-Wan finally came home. His data pad was full of information on the Thanillians. Qui-Gon was seated on the couch. "Obi-Wan, where have you been?"

    Obi-Wan dropped down on a chair and pulled out his data pad. "At the archives. Did you know that the Thanillians have been developing this chemical weapon for over ten years? Why is it that we have just started to investigate it."

    Qui-Gon rubbed his beard. "Well, Thanills has been a very private world. They never liked outsiders."

    With a scornful tone, Obi-Wan stated. "That much is obvious. So what do we do now?"

    This confused Qui-Gon. "What do you mean, what do we do now?"

    Obi-Wan replied. "Well, we have to go after them. We need to make them pay for what they did to Bruck."

    Qui-Gon did not like the direction this was going. "Obi-Wan, we are Jedi. We are not vengeful."

    "Maybe that's our problem."

    This concerned Qui-Gon. "Obi-Wan, you have been through a lot these past few months. I think you should go get some rest."

    The caring in his Master's voice almost made Obi-Wan concede. But he did not. "Master, I want to go to Thanills."

    Qui-Gon did not know why he was surprised. Of course Obi-Wan would want to go. So as gently as he could, Qui-Gon told him. "We are not going to Thanills."

    Looks of disbelief, pain, and anger crossed Obi-Wan's face. "Please, Master. Bruck would have wanted to do the same if it was me instead. I have to go. Something is drawing me there."

    Wanting to avoid an arguement, but knowing he could not, Qui-Gon told him. "The council has ordered that all Jedi stay out of Thanillian teritory for the time."

    Not being able to help himself, Obi-Wan all but shouted. "You picked a fine time to start listening to the council."

    Qui-Gon then stood up. "You had better curb that tone, Ob
  24. Jee-dai

    Jee-dai Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 8, 2000
    Darn, that Yoda is too cryptic!

    If Qui-Gon doesn't give in, what's Obi going to do? He's been hit too much with pain and grief and he's obviously lashing out in the only constructive way he knows how.

    I'm hoping for another post soon!! :)
  25. Obi the Kid

    Obi the Kid Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 13, 2000
    Excellent post JP!!!!
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