When You Think of Me (Callista/Luke/Mara)

When You Think of Me

He's sleeping now. He always looks so peaceful when he's sleeping---almost like a little boy. I only wish I could keep that peace for him always, in dreams and in waking life. He deserves it more than anyone else I know or have ever known.

He'll hate me in the morning. And I won't blame him--I hate myself for what I'm about to do, and I can only imagine what he will feel. He'll curse my name forever, and--

Oh, who am I kidding? Luke Skywalker isn't capable of hate. In fact, everything would be so much easier if he did hate me. Then, at least, I would never have time to come back to, to...to my home. To that impeccable, hidden sense of humor that no one else sees, to those strong arms and loving eyes. It would be too easy to come back and then I'd be in a position to hurt him again.

Yes, he'll go right on loving me, for a while. It will hurt for a long time. In the long run, though, he'll be better when I'm gone.

He's turned his back to me, now, whispering in his sleep.

"I love you, Callie."

I love you, too, Luke. I hate the worlds for doing this to us...I hate fate for being so cruel. All I want right now is to crawl into your arms and listen to your heartbeat and the sound of the rain. To be safe and home. I don't want to go, Luke! I don't care what fate says...you and I should belong together!

We should, but we don't. I know now why the Force allowed me to take Cray's body...and I know what I'm to do to regain my powers. It's a long, weary path I must take, and I loathe it. I want here, I want him, I want home...but if I stay, I will destroy him.

He's mumbling again.

"But Mara, I love Callie."

Mara Jade. I've never really trusted the woman, but Luke does, implicitly. They share a deep bond of friendship emotionally and through the Force, and when she is near, he shares dreams with her. She arrived onplanet last night.

That used to be a constant source of irritation for me, Mara and Luke sharing dreams. Not anymore, though. Not now that I understand.

You see, the Force came to me one last time, in the full, blazing glory of the light. And it happened when I looked in Mara Jade's eyes.

I saw darkness there, and confusion. I saw in her eyes a mirror of the same passion I felt for the man standing next to me...only much, much stronger. I was assaulted by images of an ironic twist on the future. Mara, in a white dress, dazzling by Luke's side, while I stand from the rafters and chase the enemy away with a BlasTech and my lightsaber.

It made me angry at first, that the Force would do this to me. But then it showed me other visions, other times, places, realities. In each one, Mara and Luke were bonded by life itself. They were meant to be from the beginning of time, from before, I realized, even the Force. Someone had known them intimately, deeply, completely. Someone had woven them together through the fabric of time and space.

I felt lost then. In many of those alternate futures, I never once saw myself. What was my purpose, then? Why was I brought back in the first place?

Then that Someone whispered in my ear.

His happiness.

The Force left then, but the Someone stayed with me. I knew what I had to do.

My life is to guard his happiness. Only not the way I thought.

So now, my hand clenches and I swallow to keep from crying. With one last kiss, I slip from his bedroom and outside, to my ship and the stars, where my powers await me. Then I will protect both of them, and his happiness will never die. I can only hope that when he thinks of me, that he will remember love and not tears.

Please, Luke, know I love you. Remember that when you think of me.

"You'd better take good care of him, Mara Jade." I mumble. "Or you'll have me to deal with."

 

Wow! Amazing job, Emmi! A fic that is sympathetic to Callista but also has Mara and Luke fated to be!

I like how you had Callista see this through the Force, even though she's Force-blind - I guess that just shows how important it is that the two of them end up together.

Good story!

[edit] First post!!

 

That was so beautiful and sad! I always thought that Callista was the love of Luke's life, you know, that special person you only meet once, the one who completes you? And I was so sad when she had to leave!

This is an interesting take on it, including Mara's future with Luke. And Callista taking the higher road, and doing what would make the man she loves happy . . .

And I loved the last line!

 

Emmi, writing a Callista vignette? I admit to being intrigued at the thought. Leave it to you to put a Mara twist into it, dearest. I'm very, very far from being a Callista fan, but you made it possible for me to feel sympathetic towards her -- though you know I love that Mara and Luke were meant to be. Good job!

 

Oba: Thanks, dearie!

Maiden: Well, I don't particularly agree with you there. I always thought that Mara was his true love, and that he had to experience the pain with Callista before he could really learn to love Mara. I always thought Callista had good potential, though, even if she didn't belong with Luke. Ms. Hambly just didn't bring her character to it's full potential.

Gabi: *grin* Interesting concept, isn't it? Actually, *little known Emmi fact here* I used to be a die-hard Callista fan with absolutely no interest in Mara. In fact, I rather disliked her.

But obviously, she grew on me.

A story of mine without Mara? Of course not. You should have known to look for her sooner or later. I got the idea for this story when I heard the Mark Wills song of the same name. Tis very sad, and I couldn't listen to it without crying before I put the Callista parallel with it.

 

*shameless up*

 

*levitates thread*

 

*frowns* Nobody likes to read about Callista, I guess...

 

Did I ever mention I love the title, Emmi dear?

Now, I never thought I would see the day when Mara Jade lover Emmi would write Callista. I knew you used to be a fan; just like me. Don?t kill me, but I think Callista was a good match for Luke, and then she had to leave in search of her Force powers. Very heartbreaking.

As usual, Emmi, you write this wonderfully.

Am

 

yeah i almost passed this over again because I saw "callista" in the title but I gave it a shot...

It was WONDEFUL! Truly touching Emilie! I really think you should continue it soon!

UP!

EJ

 

Amses- I used to think so, too. Then I was introduced to Mara Jade. I'm glad you like my title. You seem to love my titles lately.

Congrats on the colors, mod-woman!

Eowyn- Thanks, EJ! I don't think I'm going to continue it, actually. It's really just a viggie. But thanks anyway!

-Emmi