Before Where the Heart Is (a new twist on Obi-Wan's past: he's got a twin ;) UPDATE 10/12/05)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by lost_jedii, Aug 31, 2005.

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  1. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2

    Bastet- Thank you!!! :D I'm glad it wasn't weird, I wasn't sure if authors could post things like that, but I guess we can :D

    JOINME- Thank you too!!! :D I agree with you both, Seres Berz is an interesting guy :D [face_laugh]


    Thank you both again for your all of your reading and comments, I really, really appreciate it :) An update is on the way ;)
  2. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
  3. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    Obi-wan has a twin [face_dancing]

    This is a very interesting story
    I love Obi stories and Mush and angst8-}
  4. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2

    JOINME- :D Thanks for the devoted reading! ;) I really appreciate it :)

    Gkilkenny- A new reader! Thank you for reading! :D And thank you for the tips, I really appreciate it ;)



    An update really is on the way. Thanks again everyone! :D
  5. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Here's the next installment. Sorry for the wait, writer's block is seriously hard to get rid of ;) I was also having some computer problems, but it's all fixed now. I hope you all like this, and thanks for reading! :D




    Chapter 3



    "I will not allow us to be treated this way. We're on the messiest ship alive!" "What are you talking about Darren?? It's not their fault they're poor." "Poor my ass! They're living off of people like us! Can't you see that Annin? It's not fair!" Logan winced as he banged his already raw forehead against the pilot desk. Nope, he could still hear their voices. He tried again. "Do they ever shut the-" "Logan." Renon gave him a warning look, but he looked irritated. They'd been traveling with the politicians for about a day, still a day or two left to go. Maybe if he made the ship go the fassest speed they could get there in less than another day. The thought brightened him up, but then he heard glass breaking in the back and winced. "I thought politicians were supposed to be well mannered. Or at least not break everything in sight." He muttered, and Renon sighed. "Well, I think it's the guy Darren's or whatever his name is droid is the one that's breaking everything."

    Someone laughed behind them, and it was Nefia who plopped down on a seat cushion next to them. She was grinning. "I can't believe you fell for that stereo type that all politicians are well mannered. Sure, some are, but most aren't." She shook her head good humoredly, as wisps of her almond brown hair fell out of her headband. Logan looked back at the group of four politicians behind them, five including Nefia. There was Darren Rimmins from Sarrens, probably the most annoying guy alive; Lyr Lyhis from Lyhinerz; Annin Meerin, the representative of Barsqe; Seres Berz from Rian, who was incredibly quiet; and then there was Nefia, the headstrong girl representing Tian. Her petite frame twisted as she scanned the pilot's controls. He couldn't help but wonder why she was a representative. It was true that Nefia was headstrong, pretty righteous, and not afraid to speak her mind. But she was only 17 or 18; didn't you have to be older? Not that I really know what I'm talking about...until now, I've never met politicians before.

    "You know, I think we should at least have a separate room where we can sleep." Logan looked up at Darren, whose light eyes were glaring at him. "We ARE politicians of high status, we need our rest for the debate, can't you get that through your-" A loud shrill noise cut Darren off mid sentence, making Lyr jump, his wide eyes getting even wider. Logan immediately jumped into the pilot's chair, quickly pressing the emergency buttons. "What's going on??? What's going on, oh, are we being attacked????" Annin wailed as the noise turned into a booming siren. "What does it say is wrong with the ship?" Renon had come up behind him, trying to quickly scan the computer readings. "I don't know, we're low on fuel, but that's never set the sirens off before." Logan rapidly pressed more buttons. "There's a hole in the ship! I think-" Suddenly the ship rocked back and forth, throwing Lyr and Seres across the ship and pinning Darren across the wall. "Logan! Do something!" Nefia screamed as the ship groaned and rocked back and forth rapidly again.

    Renon's feet left the ground as he was thrown against the wall, but his head hit it first, with a sickening thud. "Renon!" Logan practically screamed as another siren began to go off. Nefia crawled across the floor, struggling to make it over. "What's going on??" "There's a fire in the left wing! If it's not put out it'll burn a hole through the wall, letting space air in." Logan tried to remain calm. Tried to think of what to do. It was obvious someone was attacking them, but he had no idea who it was or why. It was a little late to try and send a peace message to the ship, they clearly were firing non stop at them.

    The cruiser creaked again, and suddenly his mind registered into action. "Nefia, put out the fire. There's an extinguis
  6. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    Oh wow, that was your best update yet! =D= =D=

    That was terrific lost_jedii! The suspense, the descriptions...wonderful! [face_dancing]

    The suspense was awesome in the first part, I was like 'eeek' the whole time, and then..

    Space air rushed in so fast it felt like a thousand knives were cutting through the air, and it was choking him so he could barely breathe. Darren grabbed his throat as he began to make choking noises, and Renon's eyes rolled to the back of his head. "Logan do something!" Annin screamed as objects in the ship flew into space air. The ship groaned and creaked, and he could hear the internal tear of it breaking in half.

    [face_worried] :_|

    oh no, whats gonna happen now? and poor Renon... [face_worried]

    ooooh so the assassin wants Nefia?..... I can't wait to see what happens there...

    Loved Siri's banter with Obi :D, and Qui finding the stone....awwwww that was so cute, that memory of little Obi! :)[face_love]

    But whats going to happen now??? will the politicians be saved???

    evil cliffie!! More please! and soon! [face_praying]
  7. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Yep the stories coming along great, love the memories Qui-Gon
    had of Obi-wan, hope he doesn't compare him with
    Xanatos too much[face_dancing]
  8. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    JOINME- Thank you so much!!! :D :D I'm really glad you're liking this :)I'm glad the suspense parts worked, thanks again Alexis for all of your sweet comments! [face_love] I promise to try and have another post up by tonight or early tomorrow to get rid of the cliffe ;)

    Gkilkenny- Thank you!!! :D :D I'm really glad you liked the Obi memories Qui had, I really wanted this post to have some of that father/son relationship in it ;) I won't make Qui compare them too much, just a tiny bit so he realizes just how much he and Obi really do belong together [face_love]



    Thanks again you guys for all the really lovely comments and reading! [face_love] :) :)


  9. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    The ship got blasted out of space, nooooooo!! I hope they got to the escape pods in time! Er, I hope the ship had escape pods... [face_worried]

    Hmm, it doesn't really sound like the assassins were behind the attack on Logan's ship, so I wonder if they have more than one group of criminals after them. Not good either way, eek! [face_worried]

    I really loved Qui's memories of cute little Obi. So sweet. [face_love]

    I'm looking forward to more soon! :D
  10. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Thanks for all your comments and for reading Bastet!!! :D :D I really appreciate it ;) I'm glad you enjoyed Qui's memories of Obi-Wan [face_love]

    Writer's block blissfully left me for a little while today and so I got most of another chapter done ;)Here it is, I hope you guys like this :) And thanks again for reading! :D (I know this next part takes the story in a bit of a different direction, I hope you all still like it, please let me know what you think ;)).





    Chapter 4



    "Come here Lenny." An elderly woman looked fondly down on the blue eyed boy. "Oh, that's right; you want me to stop calling you that. Logan, then." Her gray eyes twinkled, and as she smiled the creases around her eyes grew. The little boy eagerly climbed up onto the couch next to her, wraping his little fingers around her own weathered ones. "I need?I need to tell you something?" The lines in her forehead deepened and there was something in her eyes that wasn't there before. "There's something you must know, before they come?" The boy's round face looked up at the elderly one. "Who is coming for me Nanni?" Her jaw clenched so tightly you could see her veins. "Hush child, it's not important. I must tell you-" A sudden piercing scream came from the other room, and pounding on the door. The woman quickly grabbed the boy and sheltered him with her body. "Open up!" Voices yelled through the door, and the glass in all the windows shattered as booms filled the air. Tthe boy's eyes widened, looking frightenedly at the woman. "Nanni, Nanni I-I'm scared! What's happening? What's happening?" His eyes were so full of fear and his whole body shook as he turned to face her. "N-Nanni? What's wrong?" His voice trembled, not understanding what was happening as he stared at her glassy, wide open eyes. He tried to shake her awake. "Nanni! Wake up! You have to wake up!!!" He sobbed, and kept on shaking and shaking her, but her eyes still stared like pearls up at the ceiling.


    It was pitch black. Logan couldn't see a thing. He groaned; gently trying to blink his eyes, but everytime he did they stung. He tried to move but his arms were bound, he could still move his mouth, which was the one thing that didn't hurt. He blinked, wanting desperately to be able to use his hands to cover his ears so tightly that it would feel like his brain would implode. Or to be able to furiously shake his head, to shake away the memory?a pain stabbed deeply into his chest as her glassy eyes flashed across his mind. In a way, he clung to that nightmare that haunted him. It was the only memory he still had. The only one. To say to himself that he remembered something always sent a shock through him. But at the same time he hated it?.he could remember that one memory but not what happened afterwards, his own full name, where he was even born, nothing?he didn't want to remember a sweet older lady's death, he didn't want to remember himself as a helpless little boy. His jaw hardened. He hated that those people?whoever they were, just came and killed whoever they wanted, destroyed whatever they wanted. I'll never be helpless like that again?never?.Logan felt his eyes get wet, and he tried to angrily blink the tears back, but that only made it sting more.


    * * *


    "He still looks like he's out. What the hell is taking him so long? The others woke up just fine." A deep male voice said gruffly, and a sharp pain hit his side as the man probbed his ribs with some sort of tool. Logan tried his best to pretend he was sleeping, desperate to hear any more information on where the others were, what had happened. His chest ached as he realized that any one of the people on the cruiser could be dead. Did they give them medical attention? Did they treat Renon's wounds? If they were so desperately trying to shoot us down and kill us, why am I still alive? They would keep the others alive too somewhere, wouldn't they? His mind screamed questions but he desperately tried to shush it, tried to remain still.

    "Let's
  11. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Well, that's interesting. Now Logan and company have both the Jedi and the assassins out to rescue them, huh? ;) I kinda hope the Jedi find them first. And what's bothering Qui-Gon and Mace, I wonder...
    Update soon please! [face_batting] This is a great story! :D
  12. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    Ooh excellent update! [face_dancing] as per usual! :)

    Poor Logan, that must have been awful, what happened to him. :(
    He has been through a lot.

    :_|

    And lol, nice little twist for me! I thought it was the Jedi who found them?.
    But a slave master, hmm not good? [face_worried]

    But now Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon will soon enter the situation!

    I can?t wait! [face_dancing]
  13. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Bastet- Thank you so much for reading!!! :D Yes, things should get interesting now that both groups have been sent out to rescue them [face_laugh] I promise more questions will be answered in the next update ;) Thanks again! :)

    JOINME- Thank you so much for all of your comments Alexis!!!! [face_love] :D
    Logan has been through a lot :( And yes, Qui and Obi are finally going to meet Logan and co. and those lovely assassins :D Thank you again [face_love]


    I really wanted to say thanks again, I really, really appreciate both of your reading and comments :) I promise another update is in the works.
  14. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone :) I'm sorry, its been awhile since my last update, and this one here is short and pretty sucky writing, but I wanted to put something up for now. Please don't hesitate to give me any type of criticism ;)





    Chapter 5 (well, only the very beginning of chapter 5 :))


    The air hummed into the ship, making the walls vibrate a bit. I thought that was strange, but kept it to myself. All of us were once again seated, but this time in space obviously, not Ciedies's waiting room. I crossed and uncrossed my legs, impatiently staring down the pilot's back, who had been shaking the whole way. As if he'd never transported four assassins somewhere. Yeah, right. He probably has without even knowing it, because we're everywhere. A lot of people just don't see us because most assassins prefer to blend in, but if you are one, you can almost always spot one. The lower assassins are always easy for me to pick out, their gate isn't as sure, they can't adapt as well, they look nervous, and the list goes on and on.

    I'm sure some could put us in the assassin section, but not many. We were trained from the best, and I've only had one person able to recognize me as an assassin, and I've been doing this since I was 14, so it's been about seven years. But Len's been doing it even longer; twelve years?I chanced a look at him. His eyes were surprisingly unguarded, and he was staring at the stars that had turned into streaks of white light.

    He'd never told me about what had happened, why he'd decided to be the way he is. The way we all are. I knew Lana had decided to be an assassin because both of her parents were killed by one, and so in return she trained until she became twice as powerful as the one that had killed her parents. She got him and killed him, but I guess she decided to stay and be one of us. She's been here for about two years. I don't know her age exactly, maybe about 18 or 19. Krin came, ran away from his home planet Tatooine, where'd he'd been a slave, and he never even knew his parents. I think he found out some time back that they had to sell him into slavery so they could buy some food for his pregnet mother, who would have died otherwise, along with the unborn babe. He's been with us about five years I'd say, and I'm going to guess he's about 24 or 25.

    Len's eyes were burning a whole through the wall, he had that look of fire in them that I'd only seem him get a few times. I wondered once again what he was thinking. In a way he was sort of a master to me, he was the once who had trained me in the assassin art. I still don't know who'd trained him, but I'd been wondering for a long, long time, but I didn't dare ask him. Whenever someone did his jaw always hardened and eyes turned to green ice, and I didn't want to do that. "Kylie." I turned around and blinked, my eyes focusing on his. Somehow Krin and Lana must have gotten up to check on our weapons or something, because they were gone. "You seem?" He paused, his eyes ice cold. "Different lately. Is something bothering you?" I blinked my eyes in surprise. Since when was the last time he'd asked me that? One of the codes we lived by was feelings were one of the lowest things on the list that mattered, they'd just never really been important to any of us. What was going on? "I'm fine." Shifted my feet, keeping my face neutral, but for once I let my eyes betray me. His face softened for a moment. "Kylie?" He sighed openly. This day just keeps getting stranger and stranger. "Look, there's something you have to know before we land?."
    _________________________________________________________________________________________



    Obi-Wan reversed the controls, turning the ship around. The pilot was asleep on the couch, and Qui-Gon was in the co-pilot chair next to him. His master shook his head at the sleeping pilot. "It seems we are always doing the driving padawan." Obi-Wan grinned. "Well, if all else fails we could be pilots, but I'm hoping it'll never come to that." He gripped the controls. Flying had just never been his th
  15. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4

    OH MY GOSH!! what a fan-bloody-marvellous update!!!!

    <pauses>

    Cn I say bloody?

    <consults most Holy TOS>

    I think I can... anyway that was wonderful. [:D]

    The first part, talking about the assassins was a little eerie, and how it showed just how different and alike they were... I really enjoyed it.

    He probably has without even knowing it, because we're everywhere. :D That was wonderfully creepy. :D

    I felt so sorry for Lana... :( :_| gosh all of these assassins have mostly become that way from tragedy...

    NOW WHAT IS LEN GOING TO SAY???

    and oh dear!! what a cliffie!! whats happened to Qui and Obi's ship??


    <gasp>


    eagerly awaiting the rest! [face_dancing] :D

  16. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Ooh, nice update! It was nice to get more background info on the assassins, but I still hope they don't succeed in their diabolical plans. I'm also wondering what Len has to say, this should be interesting.
    I hope Obi and Qui get out of the ship before it blows up! And who's attacking them, anyway?! Or was their ship sabotaged? Whoever's responsible, they had better leave my baby alone, nooo!! [face_worried]
    Most more soon, please! :D
  17. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    JOINME- Thanks Alexis!!! [:D] [:D] I'm really glad you're enjoying this, and all of your comments are really lovely [face_love], thank you again. I promise to try and have another update soon, the questions in that last post will be answered :D I'm glad the assassins part had the right effect, it was supposed to be eerie, and make you feel a bit sorry for them, but still have this creepy effect :p

    Bastet- Thank you so much! :D :D I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and comment :) I cannot say yet, but the next post will answer what Len was trying to tell Kylie [face_devil] As for Obi and Qui, I promise they're definitely not going to get blown out of space, those two jedi, they do get themselves out of some remarkable places :p :p



    Thanks again you two really talented writers and great readers [:D] [:D]
  18. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    Thank you, Joinme, for telling me about this very interesting fic!

    And, as Obi-Wan would say, I've got a bad feeling about this... [face_worried]

    More, please! [face_batting]
  19. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Hey everyone! :) How are you all? Here is the rest of chapter 5. I'm sorry this took so long, this past week has been really busy. Thank you so much for reading! :)


    P.S. Thank you for reading and commenting Star_Drifter :D [:D]





    Logan blinked. Still blurry. He did it again, and this time everything was clear. He had no idea how long it?d been since the girl had come. A half an hour? An hour? A day? Couldn?t of been a day?or maybe?He shook his head. The room was small and cluttered, but if there had been any books and maps and posters they?d all been taken out. Basically anything that could give him a clue as to where he was had been removed. Logan twisted, trying for the millionth time to loosen the ties around his wrists and ankles. The pain made him wince but he kept on going, hoping it was loosening them.

    I shouldn?t of scared the girl off?He winced again and stopped. It just hurt too much to keep on wrestling with whatever the hell was binding him. He kept on worrying and wondering what happened to Renon and the others, they had to be alive somewhere. But where? He sighed, trying to ponder it through again. But every time he did it was always the same: he remembered the cruiser shaking and getting hit, the door being blasted open and space air rushing in, Annin was trying to tell him something?but after that it was all blank. Logan furiously hit the ground with his leg and then groaned. ?What the hell are these things made out of anyways?? He grumbled aloud, trying to see the damage he?d done to his ankle.

    ?Sularas. It?s a type of metal that has the appearance of rope.? Logan?s head flew up so fast his neck seemed to snap, but he ignored it. He prepared his body for a beating of some sort, trying to anticipate where they were going to hit first. But the man who?d spoke just stood there, watching him amusedly. ?I?m not going to hit you. So stop cowering down like that.? The man walked closer and kneeled down so he was at Logan?s eye level. ?And if I were you I?d try to stop braking free from the sularas like you have been for the past five hours. It is an indestructible metal, and without the key for the lock there is only one way to break it: tremendous heat.? The man shook his blonde head, violet eyes still glowing with amusement. ?Hmm, so tell me your name. Hey, are you mute or something?? Logan numbly shook his head. ?No?? The man?s eyebrows raised. ?Fine then, I?m Sair. I?ll just make up a name for you then.? Sair rubbed his chin, brow furrowed in thought, and then his purple eyes lit up. ?Geez, I got the perfect idea! Tane!? He shook his head again before turning to leave.

    Logan?s heart quickened. ?No, wait! Please, please tell me where my friends are.? The man turned slowly around, eyes narrowing. ?Come see for yourself.? ?Wha-but before he could finish Sair had already started to unlock his leg chains and force him to a standing position before practically dragging him out of the room. He struggled, trying to force his legs to a stand up straight, but they were so numb and Sair?s pulling him only made his limbs snap against the ground, forcing him to bite his tongue so he wouldn?t cry out. He was being dragged down white hallways, go down one turn into another, and they seemed to go in all directions like it was a maze. The walls were cracked and pretty rustic, but they didn't seem as if they were going to fall apart or anything. Sair kept on mumbling things under his breathe, and Logan cursed his numb legs. Sair wasn't very tall, and seemed fragile looking. He could probably easily take him, but not with his legs like this?he bit his cheek, hard, to stop the feeling of blood pounding to his legs. He hated the feeling of little pin pricks next to the harsh strangle of the Sularas.

    Sair had stopped, looking down amusedly at Logan. He sighed. "Pathetic. You didn't even try to escape." Sair shook his head, grinning to himself as he pressed his palm into a device on the wall. What the hell? It beeped, and the doors easily slid open. "
  20. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Ooh, nice post! :D The plot thickens...

    Logan is on death row, nooo! What did he do to get there?! This quote made me laugh-- All that occupied his mind was finding Renon, getting out of this hellhole, and finding the politcians. Sure, his life being in a slave master's hands and apparently in the death row cell were going to cause some problems?but hey, what could go all that wrong? Way to be optomistic, Logan! ;) And his cell-mate is named Jed Solo? Hmm.... Any relations to Han, I wonder?[face_thinking]

    I'm glad Qui and Obi are alright, but somehow, I knew they would be. ;) So they're on Nebes, huh? I went back to the handy-dandy list of planets on the other page, and it said Nebes is war-torn and falling apart, ack! I hope our fave Jedi can stay out of trouble! [face_worried]

    And Nebes is right next to Tatooine, where the assassins are going! Why are they going there, I wonder? :confused: And Kylie knows Schmi Skywalker, that's awesome! (er, or maybe not) This would make Anakin about five, right? Hmm, will they be entering the story, perhaps? [face_thinking]

    Great update, lost_jedii! And no, I didn't think this was boring! In fact, I need more!! Er, please? [face_batting]
  21. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    No definitely Not boring it took me a while to catch up
    three posts to read.

    Obi and Qui hopefully always land on their feet.

    Good story[face_dancing]
  22. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    Ah... what a satisfying update Ally! =D= [face_dancing]

    I really enjoyed this. Logan seems to be in a sticky situation no matter his optimism,
    (his contemplations were funny LOL) - and Jed Solo is so cool! That is awesome man!
    I'm beginning to wonder if he is perhaps Han's dad? :D[face_thinking]

    And not only a 'Solo' introduction, but Shmi! Double awesome!

    and they're heading towards Tatooine, so who knows what could happen...

    Hmmm Obi and Qui are trudging through Nebes. I do hope they will be able to figure things out soon... [face_praying]

    I can't wait to see what happens next! [face_dancing] [face_dancing]
  23. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    Very interesting update! [face_dancing]

    I sense trouble lies ahead for all of them... [face_worried]

    And, I can't wait to see where this goes! :D
  24. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Bastet- Thank you so much for reading and commenting!! [:D] [:D] I'm really glad you liked it [face_love] I was worried that it was getting boring, but I'm glad you don't think so :) As for Jed Solo, yes, he is related to Han :D In what way I cannot reveal just yet :p

    Gkilkenny- Thank you for reading and commenting :D I think Qui and Obi do have a pretty good track record of landing on their feet (hopefully) [face_laugh] :p

    JOINME- Thank you so much Alexis!!! [:D] [:D] I'm glad you're enjoying this :D Since there's a lot of OC's in this fic I wanted to make sure there'd be some ties to a couple of George Lucas's characters ;) Thanks again for all your devoted reading [face_love]

    Star_Drifter- Thank you Star_Drifter!! [face_dancing] I agree, some trouble does seem to lie ahead for all of them ;)


    Thanks again everyone for reading so much and all of the really lovely comments [:D]
  25. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
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