Lit Which is Worse: Crystal Star or the Jedi Prince Series

Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I decided to re-read Crystal Star and The Jedi Prince Series.

I remember reading them eons ago when I was younger and being, shall we say, unimpressed, but my critical mind was not fully developed by that point and my reasoning for why I wasn't a big fan of them doesn't hold up in my mind.

I didn't like the individual books in the Jedi Prince Series because "they were too short". I didn't like Crystal Star because it was "boring". Looking back, that isn't exactly valid criticism.

Since these 7 books have become somewhat notorious among the fanbase, with many fans citing that they are the worst Star Wars books ever published, I thought it'd be fun to go back and re-read them.

And HOLY METHUSALA ARE THEY TERRIBLE!!! GOOD GOD!!!

I've read some bad books in my day, and I've read some bad Star Wars books in my day, but Jiminy Christmas those were bad.

Crystal Star was close to unreadable. The prose almost felt like the narrative voice was something not of this Earth, or at least someone who didn't have a strong command of the English language. I've often said that Stephen King books have excellent prose to cover up that the stories don't really make much sense. I mean they are page turners but then when I sit and think about it, I'm like "Giant spider? Hedge animals? Really?". Crystal Star is kind of the opposite where this story MIGHT work, I don't know, but its so horribly written that it makes me yearn for Shakespeare to clean my pallet.

The Jedi Prince Series is bad in another way entirely. These are books clearly written for younger audiences and it felt like they were written to be intentionally dumb for kids, with a character (Ken) to be the stand in for the youth, simplified personalities for Han and the other main characters (Han's gotta have that dream house and Leia really wants to plan that wedding!). And we gotta have our environmental PSA messages shoehorned in there because if Captain Planet can do it, then so do we. The overly simplified nature of the stories almost make me feel like these were lost scripts to a bad Saturday Morning animated series or something.

Funny story: I was describing the series to a friend of mine. He told me that he felt Darksaber was the worst Star Wars book he ever read (Oh how I wish that was true!). I told him about The Jedi Prince Series being worse and he said "How so? What's in it?". And all I said was "Emperor Palpatine has a son that is named Triclops..." and my friend cut me off right there and said "OK you win" lol.

But if I had to pick a worst between Crystal Star and Jedi Prince Series, it is a very tough call. So I pose that question to you guys.

At the bottom of the barrel, which one is truly worse?

 

I haven't read The Crystal Star and despite everyone saying they are bad, from what I read it's a mild curiosity and I'll buy a copy just to find out what the real fuss is about. The preview passages from Bantam books I've seen (Leia after the kids were kidnapped, Luke and Han approaching the so-called Crystal Star) bored me as a child but now, I'm curious. To be honest though, even if it is bad, I'd still prefer The Crystal Star to everything post-NJO (and that's me being generous).

With the Jedi Prince series, I have all six but only read Mission From Mount Yoda so I reserve judgement but I like Ken and have considered figuring out where he could fit in in other works (I was about 15 when I last read it though). Still would take it over most of Del Rey.

 

Planet of Twilight for readability. Jesus, that was a slog to read.
Crucible for content. Nearly threw up twice in my mouth while reading it.

The Crystal Star has Waru and love the Solo kids parts.
Jedi Prince was wacky fun.

 

Heh... I actually like your friend's idea there. I despised Darksaber way more than CS or Jedi Prince because I hated all the characters more than the latter two and also Madine went out like a chump.

Of the two, CS lacks the "heart" that Jedi Prince had. I don't think the Davids were super serious about JP (especially from their interview with IG_2000 recently), and saw it as an opportunity to tell some fun stories for kids with messages about the environment, friends, etc. Stuff like Skyhouse, Hologram Fun Word, Zorba and his crazy hair, etc, were hilariously clever. I think the Davids actually had fun writing those stories.

CS on the other hand... I think Vonda McIntyre was trying to be serious with that. Like when Trek does a weird episode for the sake of being weird but it's not funny and you're left with the "what the hell was the message to this?" vibe.

 

I actually really do think that Vonda McIntyre recycled an old Star Trek TOS Pocket Book script she had sitting around since the Eighties.

But I agree with Barriss, the Jedi Prince books are nonsense but they are fun nonsense that is very clearly written to be nonsense deliberately, mixed with shlocky messages that are just so on-the-nose that even YJK doesn't come close.

I do like that the villain in Darksaber is a guy who buys cheap contractors to build his knockoff Death Star, and is defeated when his own stinginess in construction causes it to be a dud. Plus it has the wampa from ESB try to get revenge on Luke.

 

I unironically enjoy the Jedi Prince books. They are extremely goofy and practically nonsensical but they are at least fun to read through. I was a big fan of the Prophets of the dark side as an organization (which I guess was later retconned to be imposters because the idea of this organization was too cool to keep in the JP books).

 

Speaking of Drksaber I just read that and honestly I did not hate it. Daala still gets on my nerves and most everyone gets nothing to do, and the Jedi characters get nothing and then get super op, and then Luke's just love sick the whole time..........ok in hindsight maybe it's worse than I thought

 

I guess what I'm wondering is why are you asking about the worst Star Wars book while listing some of the best?

 

ugh i typed out a post that somehow got eaten and i don't feel like retyping it so i'll just say, TCS is worse, because lelila. LELILA.

Lelila.

that is all

 

I read The Crystal Star through the library when I was reading the Bantam books, and definitely wasn't impressed with it, but not to the point of completely hating it. I haven't read the Jedi Prince series, and only know of the series by reputation from these forums.

 

the Jedi Prince books are amazing, the only point against them were the tireless efforts of certain parties to literally canonize every element of them when they're like so obviously children's books written by Threepio.

 

I remember liking the Jedi Prince series lol. I like how Trioculous was such a doof and I like how he tried to mimic the powers of the Force with technology and screwed his body up. I also find it hilarious that he thought Darth Vader's glove would give him the ability to strangle people. It shows how ignorant people are to the Force.

 

Oh, Waru's just a Horta with a dermatological issue.

Crystal Star is, in its own way, a microcosm of the issue Bantam faced - not just rehashing the Rebellion/NR versus Empire/unreconstructed Imperials, but also the incredibly exhausting "let's put the Solobrats in danger again!" trope. CS just happens to have some extremely Trekkish elements added in.

Jedi Prince ... eh. I personally rank it worse, less because of Trioculus and Vader's glove (laugh-worthy ), than for the grotesquerie of Zorba the Hutt. It's hard to explain, but Hutts with hair are just somehow more off-putting to me than even Jabba at his slimiest.

(And dredlocks? I mean, it's weird enough to have a Hutt with hair. I suppose dreds are more functional in keeping the hair out of the way, but still ... )

 

I...um........I liked both........

I recognize they're objectively bad, but they're fun.

 

Looking back on it I think the Jedi Prince series really helped shape my outlook of Star Wars EU. After the praise I previously gave it, what I am about to say may sound like a turnaround, but I promise it isn't.

Being exposed to this series at such a young age and enjoying it and then finding other Star Wars books later that completely ignored these books really drove it in just how fragile the old EU was. It taught me not to grow too attached to these extra stories and to consider both the books and the films (or on screen material) as their separate things. This mindset was further shaped when the prequel films rewrote everything we thought we understood about the universe.

That certainly helped me to appreciate Jedi Prince's sillier aspects. I didn't think any of it was a big deal, so I enjoyed it for what it was, and what it was for me was a fun little introduction to the expanded universe and a guide to understand these books place in the whole.

 

They're both bad, Jedi Prince hilariously so, but they're by no means the worst Star Wars books I read: Jedi Trial, Planet Of Twilight, and what I read of post-NJO are worse.

 

I... like Planet of Twilight.

 

Hambly isn't a bad author --- there's a lot of good stuff in Children of the Jedi, but there are also a lot of long time-killing sections that are a slog to get through. Characters waste a lot of pages sitting around and waiting for something to happen. That problem dials itself up to eleven in Planet of Twilight, where by the end of it you're pretty sick of the dusty landscapes of the desert planet and ---

--- or at least, maybe that's how those books happened? Crap, I dunno, I read them in 2003 and I don't care a tenth as much as I used to. I think I remember there being some good stuff in The Crystal Star. I read Trip's post but I don't remember what a Lelila is. I'm not sure why I'm still talking about these books. Is there anything more recent I can hate?

 

So a Lelila is when a Leia decides to pretend to be a bounty hunter so she can track down her kids, and does this by unbraiding her hair, which is apparently to her ankles, dying green streaks in it with slugs, and then wearing it in front of her face so she looks like Cousin It so that nobody will recognizer her. Then she calls herself Lelila (which was apparently her nickname as a child) and she spends like half the book losing herself in her bounty hunter character and actually thinking of herself as Lelila until she gets her kids back and snaps out of it. That is what a Lelila is.

 

Interesting thing. I read Tales of Mos Eisley about a year ago and I thought her short story Nightlilly: The Lovers' Tale was one of the best ones in the set.

And to her credit, while I really don't like Children of the Jedi and Planet of Twilight, I do have to say that if there's one thing she got completely right, it was capturing the voices of C-3PO and R2-D2. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but in printed media, those are two characters that are very easy to screw up (especially R2). While reading her stories, I at least thought "Yep! That's Artoo and Threepio".

Getting back to Jedi Prince Series, there is another aspect to these stories that I left our but are pretty hilarious. OK, we all know that they were meant for younger audiences. It shows in the writing, the length, and how the morals and characters are written. This only makes it even more shocking when it gets so graphically violent. I was reading these and it was like "OK that's dumb, that's dumb, what on Earth is this, and then BLOOD AND GUTS EVERYWHERE!". OK, I hyperbolize, but things like the Trioculus wedding day and how it is described in such gruesome detail felt like it was trying to venture into Song of Ice and Fire territory. If it were any other book, I probably wouldn't have thought anything of it, but it was kind of hilarious to read something so violent in something clearly meant for younger readers.

And while I'm on the topic of Trioculus, he is probably the most hilariously inept villain in all of Star Wars. The guy is supposed to be this ruthless conniver that seizes the throne of The Emperor, but then keeps mucking up, falling into traps, or just plain getting in his own way. He wants The Glove of Darth Vader which he believes will give him Force Powers (uh...ok) and winds up going blind because of it. He gets captured and frozen in carbonite because he's stupid. He wants to marry Leia and make her queen of the Empire because, well, she's hot. No other reason. Not as a way to fake some kind of truce with the Rebels and destroy them from the inside. No no, he just thinks she's hot and he's gotta have it. Also, what happens at said wedding is just plain hilarious.

Honestly, I think I would have liked Trioculus more if they hammed him up to Saturday Morning cartoon villain levels. Like if he was bombastic and wacky like Cobra Commander or Skeletor, and then failed all the time ala Daffy Duck, I'd have had a merry time. As is, it feels like they try to write him seriously, and then just humiliate him at every turn, which is funny in its own right.

 

Yeah, Hambly is hugely undervalued as an author, I read Children of the Jedi and Planet of Twilight recently for the first time and was very pleasantly surprised. Callista's a really interesting character and a great late-twenties doomed relationship for Luke, everyone's characterization is spot on, and the droids get some of the best subplots in all the EU. They aren't perfect and there's plenty of bantam weirdness-- some terrific, like the dandelions who think they're imperial sailors, some bizarre, like Seti Ashgad suckling on a humanoid cockroach teat-- but they definitely don't deserve to be lumped in with mediocrity like The Crystal Star or Darksaber or The New Rebellion and I enjoyed them way more than anything Zahn ever wrote. They're kind of like fanfiction, but the good kind-- light on plot, heavy on characterization, could probably use some trimming but overall a really satisfying read.

 

Nightlily was fantastic --- the best of the Cantina collection along with the Moisture Farmer's Tale and the time-bending one of the Wolfman and the Lamproid. And Nightlily's expanded audio drama is a treat that practically no EU fan knows about (there was also one for the Band's Tale).

Definitely agree that Hambly handled Threeps and Artoo very well --- the swapping of the traditional pairings in Children that saw Threepio go with Luke and Artoo go with the Solos was something that we basically never saw again, as most authors either teamed the droids up with their own subplot or felt the need to emulate Empire by relegating Threepio to the annoying sidekick aboard the Falcon who exists only to get insulted by Han. Hambly actually played to the character's strengths by having him help Luke communicate with the various species aboard the Eye of Palpatine, and she nearly broke my damn heart by having Artoo get taken over by the Force and try to kill the Solos.

I remember kinda liking Vonda McIntyre's take on Threepio, too. Anyway here's what Hambly has to say about how she used the droids:

 

The Jedi Prince series was some of the first EU I read, and my first look at the galaxy post-Endor. I was also roughly in the intended age group of the books’ audience. This is probably the best set of circumstances to read these books. Nothing seemed off or dumb to me because I had nothing else to compare it to. And I loved the description of Han’s sky house - I even made a painstakingly detailed Lego replica once and spent a lot of time and imagination playing with it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I really appreciate the shoutout but that wasn't me I haven't interviewed anyone Star Wars related in a bit, since my EU readthrough 2014-2015. Good times. I tried reaching out to Barbara Hambly and McIntyre last year when I read the Callista trilogy and The Crystal Star but never got a response.

 

Jedi Prince is even better in retrospect when you learn that Paul Davids is in real life a huge conspiracy theorist who among other things believes that Jesus secretly lived in India, the FBI was behind the Kennedy assassination, and that Forrest J. Ackerman has contacted him from the afterlife.