Saga Whisper to the Wild Water...Obi-Wan, Anakin/Vader...minor SPOILERS

TITLE: Whisper to the Wild Water
AUTHOR: agentj
STATUS: complete
DATE: March 2005
CATEGORY: Vignette: Angst, Challenge (Techniques: Monologue, March 2005), POV (Obi-Wan), Songfic ("Breathing" by Elly K)
TIMEFRAME: Saga: during The Empire Strikes Back
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNING: none
SUMMARY: Luke was not the only Skywalker Obi-Wan visited after becoming one with the Force.
DISCLAIMER: I willingly and willfully use characters and situations copyrighted by Twentieth Century Fox and Lucasfilm Ltd. without permission, and without monetary gain. Additional characters and situations are copyright 2005 Lisa D. Jenkins.

This story utilises lyrics from the song that inspired it, titled "Breathing" by Elly K. Listen to the song here.

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"Yes, my Master," you acquiesce to the cold, aphotic creature that flickers above your supplicant form. As his image fades, you rise to your feet and stare into the darkness, lost in thought. I feel the tenebrous memories swirling about you, your anger and accusations toward me. Once you accused me of holding you back, not allowing you to reach your full potential. You thought I had lied to you.

Now you know the truth which even he, your son, does not know. It is he who I deceived. It is he to whom I lied.

Could you believe me if I said I did it out of my love for you?

The sound of your breathing echoes through the empty chamber that has become your existence. Because of me.

No, I wouldn't believe me, either.

You had let go of the fragile thread that linked your tired heart to mine a long time ago. And so, I had thought, had I. But more and more I find myself here with you.

Slowly you make your way back to your meditation chamber. You stop for a moment and turn your head, your senses searching for something elusive, like an animal sniffing the air for danger. Do you sense me? Do you know I am near?

You shake the sensation away, logic overruling your natural instincts. You continue to your self-chosen cage, locking yourself away from the world, thinking it safe to remove your mask, to let the calculating maniacal creature others think you have become to fall away.

You shudder, alone in your thoughts. Only your eyes betray your true feelings.

"Obi-Wan," I hear you address me by name in a sacred whisper, as if you know, somehow, I will hear you. "Why did you betray me?"

Betray you? Is that how you see me?

The image of Padmé struggling against an unseen force replays endlessly in your mind. The darkness within you turned you against her and then me. Before that moment, I thought there had been hope to bring you back. Even when I witnessed the carnage you wrought on your fellow Jedi, I foolishly believed I could save your soul. But no more.

Somehow, even now, your love for her remains. I feel it in you. How can this be? She fell to the power of your own mind, bringing to fruition everything you struggled so hard to prevent. Yet you love her still. It was I, you convince yourself, who made her turn you down, drive you away. I must have pushed her mind to breaking, you reason. I forced myself into her will with a Jedi mind trick, broke her defenses, and caused her to turn away from you.

Thus you can still feel free to love her, to hate me instead.

So be it, my Padawan.

Your eyes are closed painfully in dreamless meditation. You have perfected the art of sleeplessness, for you are afraid of what prescient dreams may come. You turn a blind eye to your dreams as I once did, only you turn away from them in fear. The fear that inevitably leads to your suffering. The suffering that leads me to you.

Instead I am left with the reality of my own demise. For there you are, broken and twisted, a creature of steel and hate, more than of flesh and blood. Is this what my love has done to you, Anakin?

Even now, I am unable to let go. Perhaps these dreams

 

I liked it. Don't have time to say more, but I will write a longer review later. And I still haven't gotten to your PM yet... I am seriously beginning to hate holidays and the 'social obligations' that come with them... But I will reply- to this and to the PM. Tonight. Hopefully. If nothing else comes up...

BTW, saw that you changed your name at ff.net. So it's agentjedi now...nice. Um, how come?

 

When I did a search for my own username, it would never come up, and some folks thought it was "agentj-oh" not "agentj-zero." I would have preferred to be just agentj, but someone else has that. Also, ff.n kept telling me when I wanted to update my profile that the username agentj already existed. It had a hard time with the zero at the end.

 

Ah...I get it. I saw it at fanfiction.net, but at first I wasn't sure if it was you, until I clicked on the link and recognised your heading... But yeah, makes sense.

Okay, now time for the real review. The way you portrayed Obi-Wan was great. I like how he kind of stayed around to keep an eye out on Anakin/Vader...

And you also (sort of) i think answered that question I had awhile ago about if Vader ever missed Obi-Wan, 'cause I sort of got the impression that he did...

The way Obi-Wan describes Vader kneeling to Palpatine was great as was the way he described his breathing. And that last sentence was chilling. What can I say- I really liked it.

And now I am finally off to deal with your PM...

 

Hm.

That's interesting. So Qui-Gon's the one who thinks there's still good in him, eh?

Keep writing!

 

Wow. Just.. wow. That was amazing.

And yeah, I don't think Qui-Gon ever doubted Anakin, maybe it was part of the foresight one gains when in the afterlife

 

That was wonderful! I don't know what else to say.

 

Lovely descriptions. Very shivery.

 

Very impressive and lovely.

 

Beautiful. An absolutly beautiful, sad, tragic look into Obi-Wan's thoughts. How he reconciled his actions with the man Anakin...er...Vader became. Excellent, truly excellent.