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Whispers in the Night: a young Mara/Luke story, very AU; COMPLETED 3/26/02 *TAGGED*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Qwi_Xux, Nov 14, 2001.

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  1. padawan lunetta

    padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master star 6

    May 15, 1999
    I'm with Mommy Qui, you *can't* stop there! I loved the kiss though! :D I also like that Vader knows Lukie is his son, and I hope no one dies, I would cry. :*( Post more!!!
  2. MariahJade2

    MariahJade2 Former Fan Fiction Archive Editor star 5 VIP

    Mar 18, 2001
    Does Vader know in this fic? I need more. Hanging on this cliff is painfull. Loved the kiss. :)
  3. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 5, 2001
    Maul-LOL! It's back on pages 29-30. ;)

    Luney-Die? Hmmmmm.... [face_devil] (Okay, okay, so I'm in a [face_devil] kind of mood. ;) )

    Mariah-Thank you! And does Vader know? We'll see. [face_mischief]

    All right, I'm going to try to write something for this tonight, if I have the chance. I need to get my mind of life...right now, Ryke has mono (AKA the Kissing Disease, because it's transmitted through saliva--not sure how he got it, unless someone sneezed on him, but there's no treatment for it--it can take 10 days to 6 months to be rid of it. :( ) To top it all off, I'm not feeling well, rent is due, the bills are coming for the malaria hospital stay, I'm supposed to have oral surgery and get my wisdom teeth hacked out on Wednesday, etc, etc, etc...please excuse my rant. I'm very tired and a wee bit stressed out. BUT! Life could be much worse. I'm thankful for everything and everyone God has given me. :)
  4. Jedi_Liz

    Jedi_Liz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Apr 24, 2000
    mono the kissing disease? I thought that was Mumps! :)

    My sister had mono when she was in high school - she had to quit track or cross country because of it.

    Ack, Wisdom teeth? Ouch. I had mine taken out almost 4 years ago. The day after my college quarter ended! I was also working at a library - luckily I was able to call in sick the saturday after the teeth were taken out. Then my supervisor let me take it easy the next week when I made up Saturday.

    The only happy moment was watching/recording the HBO Premiere of Men in Black (the premiere of it).

    Take it easy, and hopefully you'll be able to have a new post done for us in a few weeks!
  5. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 5, 2001
    Thanks, Liz. :) And don't worry--I'm working on my posts for my stories right now. I should have a post up for this soon. (Maybe not tonight, but soon.)
  6. JadeSaber

    JadeSaber Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 9, 2002
    I loved the last two posts. The way you snuck the kiss in, and making Mara finally admit her feelings were my favorite parts. :)

    I hope things settle down for you soon! *hugs*
  7. Maul Brady

    Maul Brady Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 12, 1999
    OH MY GOD! I completely skipped that post>??!?! How did that happen! Now it all makes so much sense!

    OHH OHH oHHH Will Obi-Wan appear to Mara??? Pwwwwwwweaaaaaaseeeeeee! :)
  8. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Apr 20, 2000
    Qwi - I hope you and the hubby are feeling better soon. Take it easy. :)
  9. ryke

    ryke Jedi Youngling

    Jan 13, 2002
    OOps...this is Qwi...posted under the wrong screen name. [face_blush]
  10. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 5, 2001
    Well, now that I posted under my husband's screenname, here's my reply. (He was posting the first part of his first story, "Chewbacca, Jedi Knight," and I'm so used to being the only one to use these boards, I forgot he had logged on earlier.)

    Saber-*returns hugs* Thanks a lot! Glad you liked it! :)

    Maul-LOL!!!!! [face_laugh] I'm happy it makes sense now! :D We'll see about the whole Obi-Wan thing...I have been thinking about it.

    Mom-Thank you! I hope so, too.

    It looks like while Ryke could be on the mend from mono, my 'not feeling so well' may very well be mono...I could barely get out of bed today. *sighs* Oh, well...I got my posts for my other things written, so this one is next up! ;)
  11. Maul Brady

    Maul Brady Jedi Padawan star 4

    Mar 12, 1999
    :( Hope you guys get better! Drink lots of tea! They help!
  12. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 5, 2001
    URGH! I hate being sick--my body's not cooperating. It doesn't want to move, and every time I stand up I get so dizzy I almost black out. :mad: Thanks for the advice, Maul. Tea is good for being sick. ;)

    HAHA! I typed the next post! :D I think it's the longest one I've done so far--I hope it's not disappointing to anyone. :)


    My father emerged from the ship, dressed from head to toe in his black armor. The prisoners were led out by bunch of stormtroopers. They were all stun cuffed, and some of them looked drugged. I recognized some of them from my travels with Mara. Eirtaé was dragged out of the transport sporting a black eye and several bruises and scratches. She looked completely exhausted. I felt a surge of anger come from Yané when she saw her old friend. Leia was the last one to be brought out, and she appeared unharmed. My heart pounded harder than ever, but she held her chin up high as she was marched, along with the others, to the posts. Each Rebel was cuffed to a post. I glanced quickly around at the stormtroopers that were surrounding the area, guarding the prisoners. Some of them were checking to make sure the prisoners were bound securely, so there would be no escapes.

    I stepped up to the post where Leia was tied. One of the stormtroopers had already checked her cuffs, so I simply walked up the row of prisoners, as some of the other troopers were doing, just watching the Rebels. I stopped for a bare instant in front of Leia. She glared fiercely at my armored form. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" She asked snidely.

    Noticing that no one else was within earshot, I whispered, "No! It's me, Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you!"

    Her eyes widened slightly, and she hissed, "Luke? Is that really you?"

    "Shh! Yes. Don't worry, we have a plan." I stepped back to the ranks of the stormtroopers. Ten minutes to the execution, and it looked like it was going to be a simple, old fashioned death. A row of stormtroopers was taking place in front of each of the prisoners. Except, I noticed, in front of Leia. My guess was the other Rebels were going to be killed instantly, with a blaster, but Leia...maybe Palpatine was going to kill her himself. Or maybe Vader, but it seemed she had been singled out.

    Even with the cooling system in the suit, I began to sweat, and I thought I was going to suffocate for lack of a decent breath. This was going to be the hardest thing I had ever done in my life, out of anything I had been through the last few weeks.

    Palpatine walked out of the Senate building and took his seat on a throne-like chair that had been placed there for him by his red-armored guards. His dark presence made me sick to be around, but I continued to keep a tight reign on my emotions and to block my Force-presence. My father took his place standing beside him.

    Five minutes to the execution. Time.

    And there she was, right on time. I could feel an underlying layer of fear, but she was in complete control of her emotions. This was her moment of truth.

    Palpatine, of course, felt her coming, and then saw her. He stood to his feet. The crowds that had come to watch the death of the Rebels began to part as she walked through the throngs of people, her long red hair tied back from her face and glinting beautifully in the sun. She didn't look to the right or the left, but strode steadily, right up to the foot of the steps on the Senate building.

    There she stopped. Mara Jade stood straight. "I told you I was coming." Her steady voice rang through the clearing.

    Palpatine began to laugh. "And I told you what a foolish notion that was."

    "I'm not your slave anymore, Emperor Palpatine." The sarcasm was plain as she said his title.

    "The execution is in four minutes." Palpatine called to the crowd. To Mara, he said, "It will take me less time than that to deal with you."

    This was going to be the really tricky part. I was going to have to use every ability I had in the Force, and Yané was g
  13. TreeCave

    TreeCave Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 28, 2001
    Woohoo, I get to be the first to reply!

    Freakin' AWESOME!!!!!

    I'm moving in two days so I won't be on much - what a great post to end on! Can't wait to see what happens!

    And I just love the idea of Luke telling Vader he's his son instead of Vader telling Luke. :)
  14. MariahJade2

    MariahJade2 Former Fan Fiction Archive Editor star 5 VIP

    Mar 18, 2001
    Wonderful. Loved how Luke used his training to remain in the light. I liked the way you snuck in those lines from the film too. :)
  15. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Apr 20, 2000
    Ding, dong the Emperor is dead. Hmm. Doesn't sound exactly right.

    Great post.I liked your use of the familiar dialogue and the reversal of dialogue. It worked very well.

    You write very well even when you are sick. :)
  16. Jadis_Ionian

    Jadis_Ionian Jedi Padawan star 4

    May 27, 2001
    Wow! That was wonderful, Qwi! It's really intense and totally absorbing. When I finished it I realized I had been holding my breath.

  17. Mighty_Green_Midget

    Mighty_Green_Midget Jedi Youngling star 1

    Mar 19, 2002

    Oh My Gosh...that was so absolutely fantastisc...oh my gosh my gosh!!!!


    what a great scene.
  18. Jedi_Liz

    Jedi_Liz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Apr 24, 2000
    oh yeah! I'm glad I didn't go to bed yet! Wowser!!! Woo Hooo!!!!! Yeah!

    Now get some rest, Qwi. After that long, excellent post, you deserve it.

    :::makes a pot of hot 'insert Qwi's favorite flavor here' tea::: Drink some of this and you'll be better in no time!

    I thougt that other dark haired woman was Padme for a moment.......

    Leia Skywalker, I presume?
  19. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 4, 2001
    I know this isn't supposed to be sad, but I'm listening to some tragic music while reading this and well, I'm nearly in tears. You write with a passion, a spirit that is soaring in the clouds waiting to come down. Thus, your writing is heavenly. I'm floating in the seas of imagination. Thank you, this post was awesome, overwhelming, awe-inspiring, extraordinary and remarkable. This is nothing like I?ve ever read before, one of my distinct favourites. You have talent, my friend, pure talent and skill.

    Love, Am [face_love]
  20. jade_angel

    jade_angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Apr 4, 2001
    JA rushes into the thread in a frenzy

    I'm still alive! I'm still alive!

    And I had three posts that greeted me at the front :D

    Each one of them were wonderful!! I'm really at a loss for words, but I just loved it! And ummm... did ya know that tomorrow's my birthday? A double post sure would be nice ;)
  21. jadesaber2

    jadesaber2 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Oct 17, 2000
    Wow. I'm offline for a few weeks and you post three excellent posts. It's too much to read at once!

    That didn't stop me from going ahead and reading all three at once, though. :D

    This latest post was my favorite. It's got everything I like. The daring rescue, the confrontation, some more revelations, redemption. Wonderful post! :)
  22. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 5, 2001
    TreeCave-Thanks a lot! :D I'm glad you liked it!

    Mariah-Thanks! :D

    Mom- :) Thank you.

    Jadis-I'm glad I was able to write something that had that affect on you. Thanks! :cool:

    Midget-(Hmmm...or should I say 'Jaded?') :D Thanks for the enthusiasm!

    Liz-Hehe, I'm glad you got to read it before going to bed, too. It wasn't Leia--she was with Leia. You'll see in the next post who it was. And thanks for the tea. ;)

    Am- [face_blush] [face_blush] Awww, Am! I don't know what to say... [face_blush] Thank you so much! *hugs*

    j_a-YAY! You're still alive, and on the thread again! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I don't know if I'll have a post, but we'll see...

    jadesaber-LOL! I'm glad you enjoyed them. ;) Thanks a lot!
  23. padawan lunetta

    padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master star 6

    May 15, 1999
    Oh wow, very well written Qui! I love how Leia came to help, Vader *still* slew Palpatine, and Luke didnt' turn to the darkside! *dances* Oh I just loved this line:

    Noticing that no one else was within earshot, I whispered, "No! It's me, Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you!"

    Hehehehhee, glad you could work it in there ;) :D :D

  24. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 5, 2001
    Luney- :D Hehehe, thanks a lot! :D I have to say I liked it, too. ;)

    Well, everyone, I can't believe it, but I just realized I've written the last post. They always sneak up on me like that...and I can't believe this story is ending. I want to thank each and every one of you for taking this journey with me--I had a lot of fun, and I hope that you did, too. (Guess it was in time for your birthday, j_a. ;) )

    So, without further ado, I present the end of Whispers in the Night.


    As the lightsaber burned away Palpatine's black heart and he dropped dead, Mara plummeted like a stone. I cushioned her with the Force just before she hit the ground. I could feel her every ache and throb. Just as I was about to run over to help her, my father collapsed at my feet. I looked over at Mara, but she must have guessed what I was thinking.

    *Uh-uh, Skywalker. Help your father. I'm fine.*

    I wasn't sure she was fine, but I could only deal with one thing at a time. I quickly knelt down next to my father, tears filling my eyes. He had done it. I knew there had been good in him. And he had saved us all.

    Leia lowered herself on Father's other side. I got mixed emotions from her, but she met my gaze steadily before looking down at Father. "We have to get him medical attention."

    "No." The gasp that came out of Father was the first word I had ever actually heard him speak. His breathing had grown more erratic. "It won't matter. This is the end for me."

    "No!" I had just found my father, the real, true Anakin Skywalker. He couldn't die now!

    Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Mara had pushed herself to her feet and was staggering over.

    "Help me...take off my mask." Father choked out.

    I moved to help him, but Leia caught my hand. "Luke, he wears this as a life-support system. If you take the mask off--"

    "I'm dead anyway." Father managed. "Please...let me see you two with my own eyes."

    Leia and I stared at him for a moment, and then both reached down to help him take off his helmet. As soon as we got it off, Leia drew in a sharp breath, and I bit down on my lip. His skin was a pale white, and he was scarred all over. He had a deep indentation in his head. But his blue eyes--the same as my eyes--were clear as he gazed at the two of us. "Luke...Leia...I never knew."

    Mara had made it to us, but she stopped a meter or so away and sank to her knees, not having the strength to hold herself up. Father's eyes drifted over to hers, and he barely lifted up one hand, motioning her over. Mara hesitated, and then crawled the last few feet until she was sitting beside me. "I knew..." he told her. He choked and took a wheezing breath. "I were Eliyaera's daughter...and Obi-Wan's. Luke was right...I--" another cough "--I betrayed Eliyaera...I betrayed you."

    "How did my mother die?" Mara asked the question that had been burning inside of her for a long time.

    "I don't...know." Father was gasping for breath now. "Palpatine...he brought you in when you...were three...I think he killed Eliyaera."

    I was more grateful than I knew I could be. My father hadn't, at least, killed Mara's mother.

    Father gazed at me for a long moment, and then Leia. A tiny, tiny smile crossed his lips. "You look--" another sharp intake of air "--just like her...I never realized." His eyes slowly fluttered shut. "My...children. Remember. You were right."

    I felt the life leave his body. An instant after his last breath, his body vanished. I didn't bother to wipe the tears from my cheeks as I looked down at his empty shell of armor that had kept him alive for so long. "He came back," I whispered. "In the end, he turned and did right. He died Anakin Skywalker."



    My body was suffering, but I thought I was managing it quite well. Still, it was kind of hard to concentrate, as my mind kept wanting to slip into unconsciousness. I refused to let it. I could sleep later, when all of this was over.

    My mi
  25. Xuxy_Qwist

    Xuxy_Qwist Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 21, 2001
    :_| It's over! Already! I can't believe it!

    *sniffles* Well...anyway, I'm here to post a list of Mara's rules. They all snuck their way into the story, but here's a post of them just in case anyone's interested.


    1. Never underestimate your enemy.

    2. Assumption is the mother of all screw ups. Never assume anything.

    3. Never judge anyone by their appearances.

    4. Never take anything for granted.

    5. Never give the enemy a chance to see your weaknesses.

    6. Never be foolish enough to think you have no weaknesses.

    7. Question everything.

    8. Anything is acceptable if it is necessitated to complete your mission.

    9. Assess every situation before acting upon anything.

    10. Some things, no matter how displeasurable, are a necessity.

    11. Never say more than you must. Silence is worth more than a hundred words.

    12. A good lie is worth its weight in neutronium.

    13. Implication is just as much a tool as a good lie. People are easily twisted and deceived--use it to your advantage.

    14. Don't follow your senses blindly--they can often deceive you.

    15. Use every tool you possess to its full extent.

    16. Fear is the mind killer. If you can make someone afraid, you make them vulnerable.

    17. Pain is irrelevant.

    18. Nothing is as dangerous as your emotions. If you don't control them, they control you.

    19. The universe is harsh place. You have to be harsher.

    20. Loyalty is to be put above everything else.

    21. The moment you open up to someone is the moment you lose everything.

    22. Destroy or be destroyed. There is no other option.

    23. Don't trust anyone. Some may seem to have noble intentions, but there's a price for everything.

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