Before Whispers; Qui, Dook, lil Obi JAish: Qui-Gon struggles to deal with Xanatos' betrayal. *Completed*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Charmisjess, Aug 27, 2005.

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  1. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Okay, this is just a little shortie, perhaps a missing scene from the right-after-Xanatos phase. I really hope you all like it, it's the first time I've tried anything like this. :)

    ~*~


    Lightsaber Forms of Early Jedi and their Practical Application Today.
    Group 8-12; Master Dooku.



    When Qui-Gon first saw the name on the class roster, he had to pause for a second glance. The Jedi Knight lingered in the hallway outside the room, staring in mingled disbelief and amusement.

    He had been searching for a private room to spar in and had stumbled upon these classrooms by accident. The sprawling saber halls of the Temple were a maze of various rooms and gyms, each with different purposes to serve. At the far end were the larger gyms, for competitions and displays. On the opposite side were the obstacle and rope courses, tools to teach the more practical approaches to confrontations a Jedi may find himself in. Anywhere in between these ends dotted different smaller rooms, usually used as classrooms to teach Padawans and younglings lightsaber techniques and acrobatics.

    Qui-Gon considered the post again. There was no way this could be a mistake, or a misprint. Hesitantly, he peered into the open archway of the room, not wanting to interrupt a class, but needing to know...

    ?Alright, split into pairs and we?ll try?blast it, Vos! Do not use your lightsaber in that manner, I will not tolerate...no, no, the rest of you, stay in your assigned groups!? The voice that carried to him from inside the room was rather deep, refined and perhaps gentlemanly, but with a definite edge of exasperation. Qui-Gon found himself smiling as he realized that he knew the voice, in fact, knew the very tone in which the voice was lecturing. He himself had been lectured before by that voice. Master Dooku?s voice.

    Through the doorway he could now see him clearly, swishing about the classroom amid hapless saber-waving younglings, correcting and encouraging and berating in the same breath. The class seemed to be a mixed age group, indicating perhaps that this was an interest-based class rather than one teaching a required curriculum, and indeed, there didn?t seem to be a great deal of structure to it. The students themselves were likewise a motley lot, with everyone amusing themself in their own way, few actually listening to the lesson.

    The dark haired boy Dooku had reprimanded was now swinging his lightsaber around his head in dizzying patterns, while his partner, a brown headed younger boy, tried to avoid decapitation. A few of the students had begun to either practice form, or play-fight, Qui-Gon could not tell which. In the corner, a little Mon Calamarian girl was crying. In all, there were about ten of them trying their best to complete hopelessly complex moves on one another, whilst Dooku flitted around, grand overseer of the chaos.

    Master Dooku the initiate lightsaber instructor. Now Qui-Gon had seen it all.

    ?Eerin, for the sake of the force, if this class is too much for you, please leave.? The little girl in the corner only cried harder at his tone. Dooku sighed distractedly, turning away with somewhat of a defeated air. He seemed to be muttering to himself. ? Honestly, if the Council thinks that this group is going to ever learn anything like this, they?re...?

    But what the Council were, Qui-Gon would never find out, for then Dooku abruptly whirled and stalked off to check on two girls locked in combat on the other side of the room.

    Qui-Gon smiled to himself. He had come down to the saber halls to relax and work off some stress, but he hadn?t ever counted on the veritable goldmine of amusement he would find here. Dooku had never done particularly well with children, and ten of them was clearly too many for him. He crept a bit further into the room; the overwhelmed Master hadn?t sensed him yet. Dooku?s back was turned as he consulted an older Togruta girl on her lightsaber technique.

    ?Padawan Ti, move away from your partner, you can?t very well swing from that close...and you?re h
  2. stormqueen874 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    This is such a great start! I love the way you've got Dooku running around, completely at a loss. I never saw him as the type to be good with kids. And having Qui-Gon actually able to sneak up on him was great!

    Do you PM people when you update? If so, could you drop me one? I'd really like to know what happens next!

    Stormqueen
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Ooooh what a lovely start dear Jess! I can't wait to see the rest ;)

    You didn't tell me you were posting anything new :p
  4. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Oh, poor Dook. [face_laugh] So very uncertain, and finding his feet around a sabre class...

    ?You cut out at his legs? Really!? He stroked his chin thoughtfully. ?You know, I think you?re actually starting to get the hang of form II.?


    Oh, that was classic. :D

    But poor Qui. :( So much pain and heartache - and I loved the way he impulsively hugged his Master. [face_love] And think of the angst possibilities... <swoon>

    Updateupdateupdate...!!!!
  5. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    This is wonderful!

    I really enjoyed reading this, was very sad when I came to the end of the post... :(

    You blend a perfect amount of humour, angst, and suspense to make this incredibly interesting! :D

    I loved Qui-Gon sneaking up on Dooku,...and all the mention of familiar characters!

    ha ha, poor Dooku...

    hmmm...and I feel like little Obi-Wan will be featuring a whole lot more too. :D

    I hope you will post more!

    You can't have this end too soon, its simply too fantastic.

    Please PM me with updates if you can! [:D] [face_love]
  6. Seven Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2000
    star 3
    Oh! This is good!

    I like that they're all there together! More soon?

    Seven
  7. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    This is really good!!! Hahaha, Dooku teaching a class of little kids :D I love that Obi-Wan is in the mix of it too. Can't wait for more installments ;)
  8. Bastet Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 30, 1999
    star 4
    Hee hee. Somehow I had a feeling that little brown-haired boy dodging that spinning lightsaber was Obi-Wan. That's how I knew it would eventually hit him. ;) And I loved the image of Dooku running around trying to teach a class of little kids, hee hee. But poor Qui-Gon, I hope Dooku can help him feel better.
    This story is off to a great start, I look forward to more soon! :D
  9. LilQui-Gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2004
    star 2
    Great start! This should be intresting. ;)
  10. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    This was very interesting. I liked how you had Dooku so distracted and Qui-Gon avoiding his questions. Also liked that you included some of the more obscure characters in the scene.

    Good job.
  11. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
  12. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Aw, wow, thanks so much for all the kind reviews! [face_blush] [:D] ....I want to hug you all, lol, seriously, I thought no one would like this fic...


    stormqueen874: Of course, I'd be happy to send a PM your way when I update! :D I'm flattered that you ask!

    Layren: Most beloved of the Lauries!! Yeah I wasn't planning on posting this, actually, it was kind of a throwaway shot. I'm so thrilled people are liking it.

    Princess_Arulmozhi: Aw, thank you for the review, Princess![:D] Yeah, Qui is just a bucket of angst, I had forgotten how much fun it was to write him on the dribbly side. [face_love] Yes!! I shall have an uppie for you soon!

    JOINME: Of course I shall PM an update! :) So glad you're liking!! Yeah, the accessory characters were so much fun to write! No one gives them enough limelight, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Thank you so much for your kind words!!!

    Seven: Aw, why thank you! Oh, and hey, is this any chance the Seven that used to post on quigonline, ages ago?

    lost_jedii: Yeah, the Dooku-teacher bunny was way too much fun to pass up. :D I'm glad you like it, I'll definitely update soon!

    Bastet: LOL-you are so right about Obi-Wan. He always takes the fall, poor guy. Oh, and I quite concur with your signature thingie---Obi is rather hot. ^^

    LilQui-Gon: Thanks!! :D

    dianethx: Obscure characters are the best, I had to throw a few in. :) I'm glad you're liking it, thanks so much for reviewing!

    PadawanKitara: Thanks so much! ^^


    Okie---update, probably tomorrow!!

  13. obi_ew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2002
    star 5
    Sweet. :) And I so loved seeing a little Quin.
  14. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh my! This was great Charmisjess!! [face_dancing] Poor Count-to-be at a loss around the munchkins! [face_laugh] Oh yeah Dooku must have done something mightily bad to get the Council riled up enough to get him to teach!

    I agree with o_e! Great to see Vos as a young'un! :D As well as the others! Poor Bant... :(

    I also liked how you had Qui embraced Dooku *warm fuzzies*

    Can't wait for more!
  15. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    obi-ew: Thanks! :) I take it you're a Quin fan as well? I love your user pic!

    Kyn! hey you! Yes, Dooku with the little ones was too fun a bunny to pass up! :D Oh, oh, and the hug, yes, lol, I wasn't sure if that was out of character, but it was just such an appealing cute picture...poor bewildered Dook, and Quigs hugging him. *mush* Someday I'm gonna write a Qui/Dook fic that's just aimless mush. Thanks for the review, Kyn! :D
  16. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    I loved this. I was so well written, and well...new...and fresh.

    The boy was still trying bravely not to cry

    Awww!
  17. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Goodmorning! [face_plain]

    Hmm...usually I post at night, but with crazy schedule I dunno if I have time, so I give you: morning post! Apologies if anything is incoherent, resultingly. [face_beatup] It's early.

    But first!!

    -Darksaber-: Oh, thank you so much! There's no higher compliment I can be paid than having someone say that my work is fresh and something different. :) Thanks.

    And thank you, really, to all you who reviewed, because you were all so, so kind, and that's the reason I'm still writing this. :)

    And now for part two!

    ~*~

    Dooku?s eyes were on the door as well, following them out. He chewed his lip slightly in thought. ?Perhaps I ought to have supervised more thoroughly.?


    ?Perhaps,? Qui-Gon answered, with a determinedly neutral air.

    Dooku turned away, with a sort of resigned sigh, and began to pick up some of the training equipment that had become scattered about the class room during the activities. ?Teaching this class was a horrible idea from the start.? He paused, a padded chest-guard dangling from one hand, his expression vindictive. ?Master Windu?s idea, actually. Mace Windu. Just made the Council, youngest member in ages, ambitious, absolutely sickening. And even worse,? Dooku made a wry face, as if he had just tasted something sour. ?he?s my friend.?

    Qui-Gon grinned somewhat impishly at him. ?Trouble with the Council, hm??

    ?You don?t know the half of it.? Dooku muttered darkly.

    ?Yes, I?d heard that you and Yoda had a bit of a family row.? Qui-Gon commented, hesitantly. That hadn?t been exactly what he had heard, but he decided that partial truth would serve best, and plunged on. ?In fact, that?s...part of my reason for seeking you out, I wanted to ask if...?

    ?You wanted to ask if what?? Dooku suddenly whirled on him, his expression twisted oddly between a forced amusement and clear anger. ?Been listening to nasty gossip about your dear old Master??

    Qui-Gon stared at him, surprised. Before, Dooku?s perpetual disregard for the Council?s opinion had been something of a running joke between them. Dooku possessed a natural self-assurance so strong that the Council?s constant disapproval of his ideas and methods were less upsetting to him than simply tiresome. However, that had been the Dooku Qui-Gon had known as a young Knight. It seemed his Master?s feelings on the subject had bittered over the years.

    The silence had grown rather awkward. Qui-Gon forced his face into neutrality and answered, quietly. ?I only wanted to ask if it was true that you were up for consideration as a Council Member.?

    Dooku stared at him, his eyes boring into him with cold fury for a full, uncomfortable moment. Then it was if the Master?s anger swelled, burst, and abruptly deflated. Dooku burst out laughing. ?Qui-Gon, you?ve always been an absolutely terrible liar.? He paced across the room, dropped the equipment into an untidy pile on the mats, and sank into a chair, wearily amused. ?I?m sorry, child. Right now things...things between the Council and I are not at their best. I rather suspect you?ve heard rumors that I?m confined here at the Temple for a period to ah, ?meditate on my actions and choices,? as they put it..? He pulled a skeptical, almost amused face, but Qui-Gon could see the tightness under his skin.

    ?What was it that you did?? Qui-Gon asked hesitantly, curious, but not wanting to provoke his Master?s new strange sensitivity on the subject.

    Dooku shook his head distractedly, stretching out in his chair. ?I disapproved of a mission they were trying to send me on. Some other things too, trivial matters, really.? He raised his eyebrows dismally, but did not elaborate.

    Qui-Gon watched him for a moment, as Dooku brooded in silence in his chair. A sudden idea had occurred to him, and he spoke it out loud before allowing time to second guess himself. ?Dooku, you ought to take another Padawan.?

    Dooku blinked. ?What??

    ?Take another Padawan,? Qui-Gon repeated, beginning to warm up to the thought. ?It would give you something to foc
  18. Stella_Ripple Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 29, 2005
    star 3
    WOW! Great postie :D

    I have to say, I'm not usually drawn to Dooku fics, but I loved your characterisation. Just the right mixture greyiness (for lack of a better term)- I liked the sudden, yet subtle, shifts in personality, the paternal and friendly figure, to the hostile count- again great job!

    I loved the image of a frazzled Dooku teaching, what can only be, a noisy group of initiates.
    The last sentence of this post was most intriuging, why so venemous suddenly? I admit it- I'm hooked. Can't wait for the next and (sadly) final post!
  19. JOINME Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2005
    star 4
    Fantastic update!

    That was great, you really captured Qui and Dooku wonderfully...
    some humour too! [face_laugh]

    lol when Dooku called Obi-Wan 'agricorps fodder' ha ha!
    ah if only he had known how great he would become.. [face_shame_on_you]

    I can't wait for more!

    and I'm very sad that this will end soon... :(

    :_|
  20. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I loved that he was trying to get Dooku to take another Padawan. Loved that he called Obi-Wan Agricorps fodder. :mad: And that Qui-Gon defended the little one.

    I wonder what Dooku was so angry about that he lashed out at his old Padawan.... Looking forward to seeing where you are taking this.

    Great job.
  21. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh oh oh!! [face_love] Oi vey...

    Sorry [face_blush] got a major Dooku fix there!

    Poor Qui...he did try and continues to try to lighten the mood somewhat, but Dooku keeps falling into that stupor that he's so well known for. [face_love]

    Oh my goodness! Qui mentioning Dooku to take another Padawan! [face_laugh] Now that'd be the day! But who knows... [face_thinking] That could have helped him out probably...kept his mind off certain things. [face_shame_on_you] Lookit now! Riling up the plot bunnies! Not good...not good! :p

    Great job! So Dooku and Yoda had it out, eh? Yep most def can see that! And Mace a Council member now! :D

    Can't wait for the next bit...but it's the last???? :_| Must it be??? Must it? :p
  22. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Great story! I love the interaction between Qui-Gon and Dooku, affectionate but not afraid to tell each other off. I especially liked the description of their bond, and how Dook reached out to touch him mentally instead of physically. He never seemed like a touchy-feely kind of guy. :D

    Poor Obi though--even as a little one the Masters weren't appreciating him, it appears. :(

    I'm looking forward to the conclusion!
  23. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Oooh Jess what a lovelyness update! I too loved how he called Obi-Wan Agricorps fodder. If only he knew :D The Sith Slayer is what he should've called him ;)

    And Dooku is rather pissed off isn't he? :D Glad to see things are the same as usual! Hehehe. Looking forward to the next postie!
  24. Krayus_Korianis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2005
    star 1
    Excellent, you characterised Qui-Gon and Dooku excellently.
    PM me again for the next update.
  25. -Darksaber- Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 22, 2005
    star 3
    Agricorps fodder

    No! That's horrible! Nasty, nasty Dooky! Leave my Obi-Wan alone!
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