Before - Legends Whispers (young Jocasta adventure; Dooku, OC's) -- Chapter 10: Gathering Dusk - up 8/13

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Nienna_Narmolanya, Jul 8, 2006.

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  1. Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    yipes! such foreboding in that dream.

    poor Jocosta. the girl needs someone to help her so badly yet she won't let anyone in. and no she's got to face Yoda and the council in the morning, never a great way to start the day.

    lovely update! you've got me on pins and needles!
  2. Charmisjess Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    *straps self in* Whoosh. You weren't kidding! :eek:

    Excellent update. We're getting rather spooky here. I'm not gonna lie, the dream thing at the end knocked my socks off. This chapter straight-up showcased your skills as a storyteller. I loved the way you painted dream!Dooku. So...gah, achingly right.

    I'm falling for Tyone. [face_plain] I feel kind of tricked, Madame Nienna! :) ;) She really isn't so bad, is she? Very pretty character, by the way. Just tough enough, just human enough, just enough Jedi. She feels more like a beloved canon character than an OC. Not that there's anything wrong with OCs, it just feels like, in my own writing, they're written for more my amusement/my own personal inclinations, and I forget the whole believable Jedi parts. I think that's a common problem with OCs, but Tyone is just lovely.

    *whimpers* I think she should take Jo as her Padawan.

  3. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    scary dream...[face_worried]

    Then a chilling presence slipped between her crumbled mental shields and permeated every corner of her mind, purging it of every thought except for one simple, haunting plea.

    ?Come??


    *shivers*

    You're not doing my nerves any good Nienna! [face_shame_on_you]

    I'm in two minds about Tyone...hmmm, [face_thinking]

    Great story :) and fab update! Keep me posted!

    =D=
  4. amidalachick Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    She passed a few Jedi doing last minute research at the data consoles before the evening meal and the bronzium heads of the Lost Jedi, which shone golden-amber in the gathering dusk.

    It's little touches like this that add so much and just bring this story to life. [face_love]

    I love Tyone. I think she could be really good for Jocasta, if Jocasta would let her. But I can understand why Jocasta doesn't want to let anyone get too close.

    And her dream at the end? Definitely creepy. [face_worried]

    Looking forward to more! =D=
  5. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    Kynstar - I'm glad you're liking Tyone. :) She was a lot of fun to write. Thank you!

    Stormqueen - Thanks for the kind words! :D I'm just so relieved that the story is working so far. I was so worried!

    Jennifer_Lyn - Pins and needles, eh? Be careful how you sit down... ;) Thank you very much for reading!

    Charmisjess - Wow! Thank you! :D Thank you very much. As for Tyone, I never really intended for this controversy around her... but I like it. ;) [face_devil]

    Kes - [face_devil] I so enjoy being evil... If that last part got to your nerves, just you wait... And thank you! :)

    amidalachick - It's little touches like this that add so much and just bring this story to life. Thank you! Somewhere along the line of writing this, I realized descriptions of setting sprinkled here and there are important for not only getting the reader oriented, but setting the mood. I'm just glad it worked! Thanks for reading! :D

    *Current PM List*
    - Mathom
    - Kynstar
    - bdenes
    - Kestrel_Kenobi
    - Katieelessar
    - Stormqueen
    - amidalachick
    - Jennifer_Lyn

    (If you wish to be added or removed at any time, please let me know.)


    And here it comes - the moment of truth... [face_mischief]


    Chapter Eight: Whispers

    ?Come, Jocasta??

    Jocasta?s eyes shot open and she sat up panting, the whispered words from her dream lingering in her mind. ?Come??

    Winding her hands into the edge of the cover, she frantically scoured the shadowed room with her eyes, though she knew it was empty. It was just a dream?just a dream? She fell back against her pillow and sighed. So now she was having nightmares about the creepy voice and that idiot boy? Great?

    The emotions had felt so real, so close? When Dooku disappeared into the fire, it felt like her heart was being ripped out and crushed to pieces, but nothing was further from her true feelings. I wouldn?t touch his sweaty hand to save my life.

    ?It was just a dream,? she told herself again, whispering the words aloud to make them seem more real. Just a dream. Closing her eyes, she drifted back to sleep.

    ?Come, Jocasta. Come to us, you that hear our plea.?

    She jolted awake again, her breathing coming in labored gasps. It wanted her?the Voice, speaking so soft and sweetly; she?d felt it?a tug on her mind and a pull on her body.

    ?Jocasta??

    The chill brushed her mind again, seeping through the cracks in her shields just as it had in the dream, and suddenly she knew exactly where it wanted her to go? and she had to obey.

    Slipping out from under the covers, she moved trance-like to the door, her bare feet padding softly on the carpet. Once down the hallway, she saw by the light of the lamp-rods in the common room that it was deserted and the Crèche entrance stood unguarded. She walked steadily toward the double doors, and they opened for her automatically with only the faintest hiss. The fact that the Crèche doors were supposed to be kept locked at night did not cross Jocasta?s mind. She simply continued on her way, the fringe of her night tunic trailing along the floor behind her, as she followed the commands and proddings of the voice.

    So focused was she on her mission, she failed to notice the flicker of movement behind her.

    ><><><

    The large double doors of the Temple Archives rose up before her out of the gloom of the hallway, and Jocasta paused. She didn?t even know why she was here; she wasn?t in control of her own body. When she finally came to that realization, fear swept through her veins. She was just about to force her foot to take a step back when the Voice from her dream returned.

    ?Come, Jocasta. Don?t leave us to the empty darkness.?

    All thoughts of fear were instantly wiped from her mind, and the Archive doors swished open, inviting her in.

    ?Come,? the Voice whispered once more, ever so gently, and she follow/>/>
  6. Charmisjess Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    :eek: *speechless*





    .......JO!!!! *apparently not anymore*

    This was *so* Spooky. And the end with Dooku!! Oh!! *dies* Brilliant update! I would write you a more in-depth review, but I'm really not supposed to be online reading fanfic right now, I just... ah... [face_blush] saw you upped, and couldn't help myself. And then I had to review, just a little...

    You're a gem of a writer, Nienna!
  7. Persephone_Kore Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2006
    star 4
    Oh, this was neat. I am extremely suspicious of those voices -- I mean, beyond the obvious; they claim to be the Lost, implying the ones commemorated in statues, but I imagine that while some might be bitter or try to call others away from the Order, the Lost Nineteen (at this point) would not necessarily all try to insist on isolation and mistrust... so I think perhaps these are further lost than that. And they take a curious tack with her, first saying that they can't find their way to peace because there's darkness in the way, as if they want her to feel sorry for them or help them, and perhaps as if they regret what they chose, but then shifting to suggest they can offer more to her than the Jedi... and of course then attacking outright, but the reason for that transition is more obvious -- she refused them.

    I notice you mentioned early on that you were going strictly by the movies and the RotS novel for Dooku. I keep having to remind myself that you weren't going to use Dark Rendezvous or for that matter Legacy of the Jedi, because for a while I was thinking that the whispers about being all alone and expecting anybody you let close to betray you might be things she was somehow overhearing from Dooku's mind, ideas he took too much to heart after his break with Lorian.

    I thought that might be him following her. (Or was that Mirne? Or both of them? *isn't sure) Because you did say you were using the RotS novel, I'm not entirely sure whether to read the pause and odd look in his eyes before saying he was worried as deciding to lie or as deciding to admit it, but his actions seem to go better with really being worried. And lonely, probably. He needs to realize the things Jo lately has, but if he did at some point, I think he shut the knowledge away about the time he turned.

    I was so glad to hear her stand up to the voices. And I wonder about the light from the distant corner!
  8. amidalachick Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Wow! That was incredible, Nienna!

    ?I?m not alone,? she breathed, causing the shimmering band around her waist to brighten and dance. ?And I?ll never be alone again.? Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes and dropped every one of her remaining mental shields.

    Oh, I'm so glad she realized that!

    And the ending, where she asks Dooku if he's worried about her, and he says yes...I loved it.

    Fantastic update! =D=
  9. stormqueen874 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    Yay! You updated! :D I absolutely loved this story the first time around, Nienna, and every time I've read it since, it continues to get better. The Voices are just creepy and yay that she got rescued! I can understand why she became the librarian (or whatever the heck they call her in the Temple) if it meant being close to that helpful Force-presence.

    And the ending with Dooku... :D I can't wait to read the rest! Are you still planning on making a sequel to this? If so, I'd love to read it!

    Stormqueen
  10. Kynstar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Sweet puppies! [face_dancing]

    Totally awsome chapter! Spooky and exhilerating (sp)! Loooooved it!

    The voices were cooool! So we finally get to see that the voices were not very friendly :eek: glad to know she has the Force on her side ;) And a couple of buds checking up on her! :D

    Also glad that she realizes that she isn't truly alone, there are a few who care for her :D

    Well done once more!! =D=
  11. Mathom Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2006
    star 2
    Well, I'm back from a week of fun in Indiana, and boy did I miss a lot!

    Tyone is still acting odd and hiding something. I'm very loath to trust her at this point (but would definitely take her over the voices). But Jocasta still should have told her about the voices and their relationship with that last holo. After all, dealing with evil presences is what Jedi masters do best, and Tyone was nice enough to help her finish up her task and did seem genuinely concerned when Jocasta collapsed. That dream sequence was amazingly terrifying with her watching Dooku fall to the Dark Side.

    And then the voices return.

    And of course she's being stalked again.

    Ooh! :eek: The lost 19! In a way, I think you could say that the way the voices after Jocasta is the same way the Dark Side seduces those who fall for it: first it seems benign, but after you try to escape it, it turns deadly and traps you within it. It's a good thing that Jocasta has friends and a bit of self-confidence (and Dooku as a stalker). I wonder what the light was? hmm... [face_thinking] I just hope Mirne found someone, so they can get rid of the voice once and for all. Lots to ponder over this week...

    Wonderful updates! I can't wait until Wednesday! =D=
  12. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    OH Nienna...Wow - yes, you were right - it did get creepier! Wonderful chapter, beautifully written...loved this;

    The dark spirits shrieked, grasping for her lifeforce, but in one great burst of light, the tiny, shining stream exploded around Jocasta into a cloud of glittering, breathtaking color, rushing air, and musical voices whirling faster and faster. It ripped her breath away while whipping her loose hair in every direction at once. She opened her eyes as wide as possible but still couldn?t take in the entire, glorious display, and she knew deep within her that she was in the presence of the Living Force.

    Stunning description!

    Great update! My favorite chapter yet! =D=
  13. Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    ?The Jedi do not want you, Jocasta. They cannot use you. Your connection to the Force is too weak. Take a different path and discover your true destiny. Come to us.?

    oooh. those nasty spirits. they lie!!!


    ?You will make a fine Jedi.? Master Tyone?s words came out of nowhere, as if drawn by the Force from the deepest corner of her mind, and she froze, suddenly unsure. She could almost see the woman?s kind smile?

    yes! there you go! listen to that voice!


    ?No,? she said as loudly as possible in defiance of the Voice?s earlier request, her voice echoing among the holocases and up to the highest rafter. ?I am not alone and I never was alone, even if I didn?t see it at the time.? Something inside her bubbled up with warmth. ?And I?ll never be alone again as long as I hold onto my friends. I?ve found my place in the universe and it?s with the Jedi.? She lowered her head, adding softly, ?And I wouldn?t leave it for anything.?


    yes!!!


    Struggling to find her voice, she croaked, ?You?you?re worried about me??

    He froze for a moment, an odd look in his eyes, then nodded. ?Yes, I am,? he said.

    She closed her eyes and smiled.


    ooooh! so sweet!

    wonderful chapter! my favorite! beautiful work.
  14. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    Charmisjess - Thanks for taking the time to stop in. ;) I'm so glad you enjoyed my spooky little update. :D

    Persephone_Kore - might be things she was somehow overhearing from Dooku's mind, ideas he took too much to heart after his break with Lorian. I did actually consider an idea similar to that while writing this, but I decided against it in the end. It's still an intriguing notion however. Thanks for reminding me! ;) And thanks for replying!

    amidalachick - Thank you! :D I'm glad you liked it!

    Stormqueen - Glad you're enjoying it the...how many times around is it now? :p Sequel? Sequel? More on that after the last chapter.

    Kynstar - What else can I say but Thank you! :D

    Mathom - Again, I love your ponderings. :D I'm glad you're back and thanks for taking the time to catch up! I wonder what the light was? That I can answer because I don't go into that in more detail later. [face_blush] Basically it was the good Force presence in somewhat tangible form. It also appears in Ghost Stories, the fic I referred to at the beginning that inspired this story. :)

    Kestrel - I've noticed I've been writing more creepy things lately. What does this say about me? :p Only that it's fun to write creepy things. Thank you!

    Jennifer_Lyn - Thank you very much! [:D] More is on the way!

    *Current PM List*
    - Mathom
    - Kynstar
    - bdenes
    - Kestrel_Kenobi
    - Katieelessar
    - Stormqueen
    - amidalachick
    - Jennifer_Lyn

    Things are going to start winding down a bit, but Jocasta's journey is not quite over yet...

    Chapter Nine: Clouded Destiny

    Opening her eyes slowly, Jocasta found herself staring up at an unfamiliar, stark white ceiling. The air smelled peculiar too?almost too clean to be natural. Where?? Then her mind kicked in, and she silently berated herself for the lapse. Of course, the Healer?s Ward. Something shifted to the left of her bed, and she turned her head, noticing with some thankfulness that the dizziness from before was mostly gone.

    Master Tyone sat forward in the bedside chair, straightening her rumpled robe and fixing her with a relieved smile, which she returned weakly. ?It?s about time you woke up,? the woman said, laying a hand on Jocasta?s arm. ?So how do you feel??

    The girl took a quick mental inventory. ?Okay,? she answered truthfully, ?but a little tired.?

    ?That?s to be expected.? Tyone regarded her for a moment then grinned. ?Though you have been asleep for over 24 hours.? When Jocasta?s eyes widened, she hurried to explain. ?The healers diagnosed you with acute mental fatigue, though they can only speculate as to what caused it.? After a moment, she added, ?They were hoping you could help them with that.?

    Jocasta turned her head away, flinching at Tyone?s pointed words. She stared at the ceiling for a moment, studying the grooves between the square tiles, then closed her eyes and released a deep breath. It was time to tell. ?It started my first day in the Archives,? she began slowly. ?I found a holo in the pile that looked older than any I?d seen before. It was from the Sith Wars I think, titled something like ?Eyewitness Account of Ill?ik Jurig.??

    She glanced over at Tyone as the woman breathed in sharply. ?That?s the holo I picked up off the floor, isn?t it??

    Nodding, Jocasta continued. ?When I touched it, I suddenly heard whispers all around me. And there was a voice too?? She trailed off and she saw Tyone frown out of the corner of her eye.

    ?A voice?? the master said encouragingly.

    Jocasta shut her eyes tightly. ?It kept calling my name and trying to break into my mind. But it sounded so kind??

    Tyone interrupted, her voice alarmed. ?Why didn?t you tell me or one of the Crèche masters??

    ?I thought you?d say I was crazy.?

    Feeling a gentle squeeze on her arm, she turned her head to Tyone, who smiled softly, though there was a touch of sad/>/>
  15. stormqueen874 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    *dances around* Lovely update, my dear! This one, and the previous one, are probably my two favorite chapters. I really hope you do more with Dooku and Jocasta and Mirne; I just love reading about them! Maybe you could do one from Jocasta's POV when she learns that Dooku has left the Order, considering her dream in this story? *chucks rabid plot bunnies at Nienna* :p

    It?s like taking your life out of your own hands and putting it in someone else?s? That?s hard sometimes, even for the wisest of us.

    I really liked this line, though for the life of me I can't figure out why. I think it's one of those Star Wars axioms that shows up again and again, and rings true in the real world? And I think I'm babbling; hunger will do that to me. [face_plain]

    Anyway, great job with this, Nienna! =D=

    Stormqueen
  16. amidalachick Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2003
    star 5
    Other than that, she felt much better; her fatigue had finally passed, which cleared her to go to class that morning, and she was more than willing to finally get away from the healers. They were quite a fussy lot.

    I grinned at this...and then I got a mental image of a bunch of Threepios. [face_worried]

    Anyway, lovely update! I'm glad Linna's getting what she deserves. [face_mischief] And I have a feeling that with Master Tyone, Dooku, and Mirne on her side, the future will be bright for Jocasta.

    Excellent work! =D=
  17. Charmisjess Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Haha, aww. What an entertaining little chapter! You're so...absurdly fun to read. :) I always fall into it, and totally and completely forget whatever I had originally intended to be doing/saying/...working. ;) The flow is so smooth and lingering, and then whenever I do hit the end of the chapter, it feels something like tripping over something...I always feel like I have to shake my head, and sort of...remember where I am. ;)

    And this little update in particular made me feel rather squishy inside. [face_love]

    OH! And Dooku and Jocasta...see, now I'm gonna sound like I shipper, but I'm really not... [face_batting] I just...he...the hand... gah. *dies* :D [face_love]

    Did you say the next chapter is the next-to-last, or was that a terrible, terrible misunderstanding on my part?! :eek: Cos, um, no, I'm way too hooked for you to end this. Please say you're going to write more of Jo at some point in the near, happy future?

  18. Persephone_Kore Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 19, 2006
    star 4
    Jocasta figured she could face even the wrath of the Council if Master Tyone was there with her, and she allowed her lips to turn up slightly at the corners before the oblivion of sleep claimed her.

    Awwwwww. :)

    And the scene with Dooku was very sweet, too -- where they've gotten some of the misperceptions straightened out, and for some reason it makes me grin when Dooku's not quite old enough yet to be automatically eloquent. ;)

    Also, ack! It's almost over? Well, yes, I can see that you would be about to the end of the story, and there's something to be said for knowing when to stop. It just seems so soon, I was surprised.
  19. Mathom Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jun 24, 2006
    star 2
    Well, I have to hand it to Master Tyone. She's not half as evil as I suspected her to be. She does genuinely care about Jocasta. I wouldn't be surprised if Tyone picked her to be her padawan.

    ?Hmm. I wonder what he was doing loitering around the Archives at that time of night. I?ll have to speak to his master.?

    Oh Tyone, Dooku wasn't loitering, he was just stalking Jocasta... :D

    Gazing up at his face, the memory of how tenderly he cradled her head that horrible night in the Archives floated to the surface of Jocasta?s mind and she felt a sudden pang in her stomach. The boy was about to move away when she grabbed his wrist, bringing him to a halt. ?Dooku,? she said softly, unable to meet his eyes, though she felt his watching her intently. ?I?m sorry. I was wrong. You didn?t deserve the way I treated you.? You?re nothing like Linna.

    She held her breath, waiting for his reply.

    ?You know what?? he said slowly, ?When I saw what you did for that girl in the hallway a few days ago, I realized something.?

    Inhaling sharply, Jocasta raised her head and met his serious gaze. So she hadn?t been hallucinating.

    Dooku looked down. ?I realized I was wrong too. Wrong that I was wrong about you?? He stopped, struggling for words?the first time Jocasta had seen him in that predicament. Then grinning suddenly while shaking his head, he glanced up. ?You?re exactly the way I?d hoped.?

    Taking her hand, he gave it a soft squeeze before backing away and melting into the stream of beings that packed the corridor. Jocasta could only stare after him as she slowly brought her hand to her chest, the similar occurrence in her dream as vivid in her mind as ever.


    I'm with Charmisjess on the mush. I mean, I know she's supposed to be 12 or something, but it was just so wonderfully mushy, so wonderfully...Dooku. [face_love]

    And there's the dream again. I half wish this could be AU and the two could live out their lives in peace without him turning to the Dark Side. But then where would the fun be in that, right?

    Linna's getting her just desserts! Yay! [face_dancing] I just hope Jocasta's date with destiny and the Council goes alright. After all she's been through, she deserves a break. And since Linna's been shown for what she is, I think they should go easier on her. That and I think a few Creche Master apologies are in order. Especially considering they all but encouraged Linna's tormenting of the others and Jocasta in particular.

    Great job as always! =D= I can't wait to see what you have cooked up for us on Sunday!
  20. Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    while i'm still nervous about what the council will have to say, i'm so thrilled that Jocasta seems to have loosened up and allowed herself to recognize her friends.

    and it seems the rest of her clan will be a bit more friendly to her as well, so huzzah!

    one more chapter? bummer, but you've taken us on a lovely ride!
  21. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    oh, lovely Nienna - I'm glad things seems to be working out for Jocasta. And this chapter wasn't so creepy which was a relief! ;) lol ...

    Loved the conversation between Jocasta and Tyone...

    ?Trusting in the will of the Force is probably the most difficult part of being a Jedi,? Tyone said, gazing at her thoughtfully. ?Sparring moves, jumps, the art of negotiation?they?re all things we can do, at least partly, on our own, but trusting the Force? It?s like taking your life out of your own hands and putting it in someone else?s? That?s hard sometimes, even for the wisest of us.?

    Beautifully put - great job =D= .

    Last chapter? :( ... But I want more! *sniff* ...

  22. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    Time for replies. :D

    Stormqueen - Maybe you could do one from Jocasta's POV when she learns that Dooku has left the Order, considering her dream in this story? *chucks rabid plot bunnies at Nienna* Ah! :eek: *bunny latches onto ankle* Get off...get off! :p You never babble, my friend. I'm the one who reigns in that department, I do believe (though your skill as an e-cheerleader greatly exceeds mine). ;) Thank you!

    amidalachick - then I got a mental image of a bunch of Threepios. [face_worried] I'm not sure the galaxy is ready... :p Thanks for reading!

    Charmisjess - Once again, you give me more praise than I deserve...not that it's not greatly appreciated. [face_blush] [:D] I just...he...the hand... gah. *dies* *grins* ;)

    Persephone_Kore - Writing stories of epic proportions is not my strength...at least not yet. ;) If this story were any longer, I think the plot would completely run away from me. for some reason it makes me grin when Dooku's not quite old enough yet to be automatically eloquent. :D Thank you for reading and replying!

    Mathom - Oh Tyone, Dooku wasn't loitering, he was just stalking Jocasta... *falls over in a fit of giggles* Well, that's one way to put it. :D I half wish this could be AU and the two could live out their lives in peace without him turning to the Dark Side. But then where would the fun be in that, right? You're right; what's the fun without a little, innocent angst... [face_mischief] :p Thank you!

    Jennifer_Lyn - Thank you for your kind words and for sticking with me! :D

    Kes - Thank you! And this chapter wasn't so creepy which was a relief! I thought you liked a little spookiness. ;) And don't fret; I have the feeling Jo and her friends are in for more adventures... [face_mischief]

    Hugs and thanks to everyone! Final post tomorrow.
  23. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    Note: And here it is - the final installment. :D :( Endless hugs to my faithful readers who made the journey with me. [:D] I deeply appreciated every single one of your replies. I still have quite a ways to grow as a writer, and your encouraging comments have only helped spur me on. :D Thank you!

    You all know the PM list, I do believe, so let us move on to more enjoyable business...like the next chapter!

    Chapter Ten: Gathering Dusk

    Jocasta got out of her last class for the day at 16 standard hours, which left her a good hour to kill before her duel with Dooku. Before she did anything, however, she had to drop her bag off in her quarters and pick up a tunic to change into after the workout. Weaving her way through the constant stream of Jedi in the main corridors, she grinned to herself. It didn?t matter if Dooku were a few years older; he wouldn?t beat her this time.

    She was almost to the Crèche when she got stuck behind three, older female Jedi, who were plodding along at a rather dismal pace, as they caught up on the latest Temple gossip. Jocasta rolled her eyes and prepared to squeeze past them and through the oncoming traffic, when one of the women?s words caught her attention.

    ?Chistra??

    She frowned. That?s Master Tyone, she thought, remembering when Master Jillian had called her that. But why would they be talking about her?

    ?I heard she asked for a meeting with the Council,? one of the women stated.

    ?Really? What for??

    ?It?s obvious, isn?t it?? another said matter-of-factly. ?Now that her injury is fully healed, she wants to be put back on active duty.?

    ?Did the Council grant it??

    ?Well, why not?? the third woman said. ?The Order needs able Jedi masters, and Chistra Tyone is a fine one indeed.?

    Jocasta?s feet stopped moving of their own accord and she stood planted near the middle of the hallway, beings rushing past her and grumbling when they almost ran into her. Her mind felt paralyzed, incapable of forming coherent thought. Master Tyone was going on active duty again? That meant she would be leaving the Temple, leaving her, for long periods of time. It couldn?t be? Tyone had befriended her, given her hope?and now she was just going to leave without saying anything? How had Jocasta so completely misjudged her? The girl couldn?t even begin to grasp the concept, and only one thought managed to take form in her stalled mind, chanting over and over in an unending loop.

    She betrayed me. She betrayed me.

    Suddenly in control of her body again, Jocasta obeyed the urge to flee, running down the corridor to wherever her feet chose to take her.

    ><><><

    Not a long while later, Jocasta found herself sitting on the floor in the Archives, her back against the far wall, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. A few Jedi meandered between the holocases, but no one noticed her. Perhaps the data console a few meters in front of her hid her from view or the lengthening shadows. It didn?t really matter if they saw her there or not. Nothing mattered anymore.

    Everything that had happened had all been for nothing. She?d lost Master Tyone. Perhaps she was just being naïve, but she?d hoped that maybe the master loved her enough, saw enough potential, that she would? No, she doesn?t want you, so stop thinking it, she chided herself, burying her face in her knees. When your thirteenth birthday rolls around, you?ll be on a ship to Agri-Corp, and that?s where you belong.

    She was so absorbed in her own thoughts that she didn?t hear soft footsteps approaching. ?I thought I?d find you here.?

    She whipped her head up to find Master Tyone standing in the circle of golden light that filtered down from the round viewport high overhead. Dusk was gathering on Coruscant. The woman moved to Jocasta?s side, sliding down the wall until she too sat on the floor with her skirts pooled around her. ?I sincerely hope Linna puts her heart and soul into scrubbing ?freshers,? the woman said, rubbing her
  24. stormqueen874 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2005
    star 4
    YAY! It's done! *does a happy happy dance* Brilliant job with this story, Nienna, and I'm going to say it again and again until you get absolutely sick of hearing it! :D I love every OC you came up with for this story, and I just love the personality you gave to Dooku and Jocasta. Believe me when I say that I can't wait for you to finish that sequel!

    She wouldn?t have moved from where she sat even if Coruscant?s sky were falling; for she had finally found it?that elusive something she?d been searching for her entire life.

    A home.


    YAY! This is truly one of the strongest emotions to motivate people, in my opinion, and you pulled off the writing of it magnificently. :)

    I thought the posting schedule was fine, ma dear, and again, bravo!! =D==D=

    Stormqueen
  25. Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    awww! *sniffles* that was so lovely! great ending, it's the one i had my fingers crossed for the whole time!

    wonderful work and now i'm quite anxious to see where you take this next!

    i thought the posting schedule was fine, but weekly works as well. whichever is easier for you!

    great job! =D=
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