Saga White light, for the PT rewrite challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by earlybird-obi-wan, Jul 17, 2009.

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  1. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    White light
    Author: Earlybird-obi-wan
    Timeframe: 32 BBY
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon
    Genre: PT challenge
    Disclaimer: Star Wars is owned by George Lucas
    Summary: Obi-Wan during the wake for Qui-Gon



    White light.


    Starlight on Naboo.
    The light of the stars was shining in the ponds enhancing the flickering of candles.

    Black sky.
    Night on Naboo.
    The murmuring sounds of a fountain were enhanced by the melodious singing of birds.

    Cascading water on Naboo.
    The roaring sound of the large waterfall was enhanced by the nocturnal sound of aquatic wildlife, chirping and chattering at the edges.

    Soft footsteps and a whimpering sound on Naboo.
    The young Jedi knight was wandering the great halls and corridors, whimpering softly and clutching a strand of hair against his chest. It had been his padawan braid severed by the hands of the great Jedi master. He had cut the braid in two pieces and was now headed to the place where his master ? his father ? was. The other piece ? the end adorned with a red bead and the hair of his master ? was with a leather thong also sporting a red bead put in a little box in his utility belt.

    Murmuring on Naboo.
    The young Jedi knight was passing a room where the masters of his order were holding their wake.

    Ma-dhu-rah sweh-pna, go rah-do-mah sweh-pna.
    Ma-dhu-rah sweh-pna, go rah-do-mah sweh-pna,
    moor-it-tioo, ma-dhu-rah sweh-pna.


    A soft whimper escaped his lips and he repeated the words.

    Sweetly dream. Find sleep.
    Sweetly dream. Find sleep.
    Overcome death. Sweetly dream

    The young Jedi knight continued his walk, coming to the place where his master was placed on a pyre.
    A soft teary smile passed his face when he saw the starlight shining on the pale features enhancing them with an ethereal beauty. Grey strands of hair were shimmering like silver threads.
    He took the last two steps towards the pyre and gently lifted one hand.

    ?Master ? father ? this is a token of my eternal bond to you. In the great tradition of the Jedi, I give this part to you. This, the part severed by Master Yoda. But I closed my eyes and it felt as if you were severing it.?

    He placed the part on the chest of his master. ?This was where I felt your heart beating strong when you were comforting me. I felt it for the first time after you took me in your arms after the braiding ceremony. I felt it when you held me after the ceremony for Shh-kir.?
    The young Jedi knight remembered the words voiced during that ceremony and he sang

    Noirani chani a nenya
    Nenya alt el engwa rhani
    Nenya alt el engwa imdal


    Echoing it in the basic language

    Black turned to white
    White like the eternal soul
    White like the eternal spirit


    The young Jedi knight knelt down and started his wake beginning with the meditation of the white light.

    White
    White like the eternal consciousness
    White like the beings I will meet
    White like the Force

    I am white
    I am luminous
    I am a white luminous being.

    If we watch carefully
    We see their faces
    Pure, innocent and white
    Pure eternal love
    Pure like their souls

    If we listen carefully
    We hear their voices
    Gentle like the waves
    We hear their voices
    In hushed whispers
    On the wind

    You and I will meet again
    And all will turn to silver light
    A light that will ignite the stars
    All souls pass into the light
    That is
    The Force?


    FIN
  2. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
  3. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    That was just beautiful

    [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    And a great response to the challenge

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  4. AzureAngel2 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    :_|

    Sometimes your texts are so wonderful that I must cry with joy.

    *is happy that she just got tons of paper tissues at the LIDEL*

    :_|:)[:D]

    Your writting is very intense in this text and despite all the loss you let the light of the force shine bright, bringing calmness to the soul.
  5. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Valairy_Scot thank you@};-

    KELIA thanks again (also for the challenge)

    AzureAngel2 thanks and this was written as a kind of poem.
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