Title: Why Jedi Never See Their Families Timeframe: Before AotC Genre: Humor Length: One shot Characters: Obi-Wan's mother Continuity: AU Notes: This is a re-post; I think the original may date back to 2003, got caught in truncation. In honor of the various parental issues that people have been chatting about in Resource, I offer it up for a laugh. I was saving it for Mother's Day, but... After TPM and the Jedi Apprentice series, there was a lot of debate here on the boards about the Jedi practice of taking children away fro their families to be trained at the Jedi Temple. It was a very controversial topic around here, with some people thinking how awful that children have to leave their families to become Jedi and others pointing out that the families have a choice. As I was discussing this back then, it occurred to me that there are very practical reasons that Jedi would have little contact with their parents. And if anyone thinks the following is an exaggeration, you don't live six states away from your mom...The line about the cataract operation is verbatim from life. * * * Obi? Honey? It’s your mother, pick up the comm. Are you there? Well, I guess you’re off again. Since you never call me, I thought I’d call you. Again. Did you get my last message? I left it for you this morning. Before lunch. I guess you didn’t get it, because you didn’t call me back. Anyway, I’ve been hearing about this invasion of Naboo, and I want you to promise me you won’t let the Council send you there. I just don’t trust those Trade Federation, you know what they say about Neimodians. Why don’t you come home for a few days instead, until all the fuss dies down? You know your dad would love to see you. And you can see Fergall! That’s Kayala’s new baby. You remember her, right? She’s your half-third cousin, twice removed on my side? You know, the daughter of Nerva and that idiot pilot she married? You should see him, he’s learned how to burp. He’s so cute! The baby, not the idiot. So how are you doing? Are you eating enough? I was going to bake some cookies and send them to you. Are you staying dry? I hear it rains a lot on Coruscant, I almost bought you an umbrella. There was a great sale at Blork’s, and I got myself some new sandals for the spring. Oh, they were going to have a menswear sale next weekend, which got me thinking, what size are you? I thought I could buy you some new underwear and send that along to you. I know young men don’t think holes in the underwear is a big deal, but you never know, if you get in an accident, gods forbid, you don’t want to have grungy underwear with holes in it when you get to the hospital. Besides, you never know when you might meet a nice... nevermind. Anyway, let me know. I can pick up some socks, too. Oh, and when I send you the underwear and cookies, I’ll attach the story about old Mr. Kroull’s prumrutt collection that was on the holonews last week. He’s Magda’s neighbor down the street. Nice old man. His wife went in for a cataract operation last Friday. You might want to drop her a note. Did I send you her address? I’ll send you her address. I keep thinking about this Naboo thing. Can’t you get a promotion to a nice research job somewhere? What about a Senatorial advisory position? I mean, nothing against the Jedi, sweetie, but it’s not exactly, well, lucrative. I mean, your father and I will be fine, but it’s not like you’re going to inherit a lot of money or anything. It would be a lot safer. I hear the AgriCorps is always looking for new folks, too! Well, if you get stuck going to Naboo, BE CAREFUL. Stay dry, and make sure you pack extra socks. And try to be careful with the lightsaber? I know, I know, you have all the training and all that, but I’m just terrified you’ll put an eye out one day! Can’t you petition the Council to use a blaster? See, this is why I’m telling you to get a real job. And, well, sweetie, I’d only say this to you, but be careful around that Master Qui-Gon. I’ve heard stories about him; they say he gets himself in trouble with the Jedi Council, and, well… I know he’s your friend, but there are lots of OTHER nice masters at the Jedi Temple, couldn’t you get yourself apprenticed to one of them? Anyway, that’s all I was going to say. Oh, except that your younger sister is getting married again, so you can expect a wedding invitation. And even if you can’t make it, you might send her a present THIS time, since you didn’t bother for her last four weddings. Oh, wait… [snuffling noise] Do you hear that? Winkles wants to say hi to Uncle Obi. Say hi, Winkles, hi Uncle Obi! Did you hear him say hi? He’s sitting on my lap with his tail up my nose. I think he wants his dinner. Okay, sweetie, I’ll go. Oh, wait! Say hi to your father! [muffled]Honey, pick up the comm…it’s your son…no, I’m leaving a message, he’s not there…I don’t know where he is, they might be sending him to Naboo, did you want to talk to him? I don’t know why, I think it’s something about the Trade Federation…you can’t find your what? Where did you leave them? Did you look on top of the bookcase? No, I didn’t move them. Why would I move them? Did you want to talk to your son or not? Oh…okay… [fumbling noise] He can’t talk, he’s going into the bathroom, he says hi. All right, honey, you be careful. Stay dry. Call me back when you get in. Love you! ‘Bye!