Title: Why? Author: General_Kenobi_66 Timeframe: During TPM, right after the council meeting. Characters: Obi-Wan Summary: Obi -Wan thinks after Qui-Gon tells the council that he wants to take Anakin as his padawan Disclaimer: I promise I?m just borrowing them! I promise I?ll give them back! Notes: I apologize for any typing errors; I was trying to type this while holding my cats, Yoda and Vader. Why? Why did Qui-Gon do this to me? He turned me, his padawan of twelve years, away for a boy he?s known for less than a week. Yeah he said that I was ready for the trials. Well sort of. He said I was ?capable?. I don?t think I?m the greatest Jedi padawan ever of course, but I would like to think that I?m more than ?capable?. I always knew he didn?t want me. I always knew he took me back after Melida-Daan with reluctence. And no matter how good I try to be, I know I?ll never be good enough. Never. Maybe this will be the perfect padawan he has always wanted. If having Anakin as his padawan makes him happy, fine, I can deal with it. But I don?t know what will happen to me. They made it sound as if I am definitely not ready. Nobody will want a padawan who only has a very small amount of training left. No one. I know that much. I couldn?t believe it when he said it. I felt like I went into shock as soon as the words ?I take Anakin as my padawan learner? left his mouth. He looked at me like he wanted me to help him with the situation, and my first reaction was ?definitely not!? But I did it for my master of twelve years anyway. I stepped forward and told them that I was ready for the Trials, instead of blowing up at my master right then, the way I wanted to. No, actually, I wanted to hit him. Or tackle him. Either would work. But of course I couldn?t do that in front of the council. I couldn?t do it anyway. I couldn?t and I wouldn?t. But I sense darkness from that boy. He is powerful. Too powerful for his own good. And I fear that training will make him way too powerful. Dangerous. But of course, Qui-Gon won?t listen to me. He never has. I am going to talk to him about it. He is coming to get me in a few minutes. We are returning to Theed. I think it?s a fool?s errand. We can?t win a war by ourselves. It?s impossible. It?s like planning our own funeral. Qui-Gon has no business taking that little brat with us. Anakin?s just going to get himself killed. Then again, that would spare the Order the danger they are going to face if they train him. I know that is terrible to say, and the boy got us off of Tatooine and all, but I just worry about him. I worry quite often. It is a fault of mine I know. But I really worry about this kid. I know I made a mistake when I left the Jedi twelve years ago. But I feel like I?m still paying for it to this day. I feel like Qui-Gon holds me at arms length. This would be alright if it was his nature to do so. But he seems to embrace every other living thing we come in contact with. Jar-Jar, Anakin. He even seems to like some plants more than me. I don?t know if this is because of Xanatos, or because of Melida-Daan, or for some other reason. Maybe he just doesn?t like me. Don?t get me wrong, He has been a great master all these years. I just wish he would show a little more compassion or even some little sign that he cares about me at all. Oh well, I?m a Jedi and I don?t need compassion. He has been a great master and even if I have been treated like just a student, I can?t complain. Well, Qui-Gon is at the door calling me so it is time to go. I don?t know what will happen, but whatever is ahead, I?ll continue to do my job. I?m a Jedi and will be a Jedi until I breathe my last. No matter what happens.