JCC Why Should I...

...watch the following films:

Chappie

Halloween (The original, not the Rob Zombie one)

Boyhood


...read the following books:

The Qu'ran (Q'ran? Koran?)

The Catcher in the Rye

Any dumbass vampire book


...try the following foods:

any cookie with raisins in it

a Cinnabon

catfish/bullheads


I'd like to broaden my horizons a bit before I become too crotchety but I need help. So I am reaching out to all of you wise wise JCers for reasons why I should abandon my preconceptions and give these items I've listed a chance to prove their worth.

I thank you in advance.

 

You shouldn't.

 

Chappie skip, Halloween eh, Boyhood watch. Quran depends, Catcher read, dumbass vampire books no. Raisin-containing cookies actually yummy, Cinnabon pass, catfish eurgh!

Cuz why not.

 

Aren't Cinnabons basically basketball-sized globs of fat and empty carbs?

 

Yes. Absolutely. And they don't even taste that good.

 

I have the same questions for:

- watching Avatar or Game Of Thrones

- joining Facebook

- Listening to Lady Gaga

- Playing Minecraft

- growing a beard and dressing vintage

 

Read the series GoT is based upon; skip GoT itself. Skip Avatar, unless you're referring to the beloved Nick cartoons.

 

The same reason you'd try any fish, I guess, they're decidedly average in that "Well, it could be worse, it could be tilapia" sort of way.

 

I want to see Chappie because District 9 was awesome.
I don't want read Catcher in the Rye because £♧c《 Salinger was deutsche bag who never touched the pulse of America.
I want to see Boyhood because Linklater loved PKD to the max.
Already ready Quran .
Vampire books? I want to live in The Circus of the Damned.
Now where's my effing cinnamon roll?

 

Why read the Qur'an-- at least cover-to-cover? Maybe it's not as painful as reading some of the ridiculous books in the Bible, but it seems like a lot of work for not much gain. Considering that, as with Christianity and the Bible, the interpretations of the text vary widely, just reading as you would a novel or a biography wouldn't give you a much deeper understanding of Islam.

 

Anyway, back to the pornographic vampire novels.....

 

The Catcher in the Rye is worth reading, and oatmeal raisin cookies are good. Disregard everything else.

 

If you can find a place that does a good fried catfish, then it's worth your time. Second best fried fish I've ever had, and I've had a lot.

 

catcher in the rye is a classic ive read 3 times. the original halloween is creepier then rob zombie's version.

 

Vampire books: I think the problem that vampires have become in modern stuff is that they're more of a straight mythological creature with strictish rules rather than the symbol that they are. I've seen them portrayed in a buttload of things, because I love the concept of them as creatures but the large majority of the time it's done horribly. As far as books go, obviously Dracula is amazing - it's not redundant as a concept (surprisingly) while reading, the symbolism is extremely clear, and it gives you some stuff to think about as well as providing very well written classic horror. Beyond that for books I can only recommend Anne Rice's series, and even that wouldn't be for everyone. The movies have horribly butchered her stories so it's tough for people nowadays to get into, not to mention things like Twilight etc destroying the rep. of vampires. She's not the strongest in writing as a skill, but her overall story across the entire series is actually pretty unique and she knows how to properly pace and develop strong unique characters. But again, I don't think she's everyone's cup of tea.

Catcher in the Rye: If you have a dark sense of humor you should probably read it. It's hilarious and insightful at times. Overly strong on symbolism.



I have no knowledge of the rest of these things.

 

BECAUSE I SAID SO.

 

Not all of Anne Rice's books are good, but at least give Interview With A Vampire a go.

I seem to recall liking Cinnabon once, but the last time I ate one I was quite disgusted.

Avatar is good enough that I will see the sequels despite being a predictable Dances With Wolves in space. I was very happy with the 3D. Visually it was incredible.

 

Just go crotchety gracefully




Or at least as gracefully as you can manage.

 

Halloween is an all-time classic; creepy without being gory, Donald Pleseance & Jamie Lee Curtis doing good work, and a kick ass soundtrack/iconic main theme:



.

 

I want to say....I really don't give a **** if you experience these things or not.

In the spirit of trying to be a better/nicer/whatever person, I will instead say, I'm not sure which of those you will or will not like, but I am interested in knowing what you think about the ones you do experience.

 

Chappie: Have not seen it. Don't intend to.

Halloween: original Halloween has been so extensively copied that it might be hard to watch it for the first time without feeling now that it is a string of horror movie cliches, which it wasn't when it was made, but now is.

Boyhood: the novelty of watching kids grow up on camera only wears off after you've had a chance to think about the movie, which isn't very deep. Worth watching for the novelty of seeing kids grow up on camera. Time lapse photography plus lots of talking.

The Qu'ran (Q'ran? Koran?): One of those things you do a bit of if you take some kind of world religion class in school. Or maybe you do it if you're interested in converting to Islam. I'm neither for not against it except that I'm anti religion in general.

The Catcher in the Rye: great read. don't deny yourself a great and relatively easy read.

Any dumbass vampire book: Alexandre Dumbass never wrote any vampire books as far as I know, but Salem's Lot and Dracula are the only vampire books I've ever read. Read a lot of vampire short stories, and I am Legend novella. All worth it.

any cookie with raisins in it: no one gives a **** about your pet food dislikes. Man up and eat a ******* oatmeal raisin cookie you ******* *****. Grow a pair.

a Cinnabon. I smell this place nearly every time I'm at LaGuardia. I walk past it as quickly as possible. no idea what the "food" is like.

catfish/bullheads: my boyhood included tying a fishing line to a stick and dropping a hook baited with an old biscuit into a pond in rural Alabama. Until you've deep-fried a catfish you've caught and gutted yourself, you haven't really lived. In Alabama.