So NV Why Star Wars is better than LOTR (THATS RIGHT!)

Discussion in 'SouthWest Region Discussion' started by Axia_Euxine, Jan 7, 2004.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: DieWompRatDie, Grimby
  1. Axia_Euxine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2003
    star 4
    Why Continuum Chronicles: The Rebecka Trilogy kicks the snot out of Star Wars

    21. Heros, SW: Luke Skywalker, force user, pilot; LOTR: Short, shoeless, hairy Frodo looking worried all the time

    Rebecka Costillion has Agents Snow, Tac, Empryean 1610, Nimbus and many more super powered women dressed in skin tight field suits kicking butt

    20. SW: The Millenium Falcon, LOTR: A Horse

    Continuum Cronicles (CC) has The Orion, waay cooler than the Falcon

    19. Unlike Gandalf, Obi-Wan does more than make rooms brighter

    Obi-wan wishes he could handle a sword like Rebecka does

    18. The force is the ultimate power, while the ring does little more than compliment a fancy outfit.

    All Mesh have a variety of powers some of which makes the ring and the force look silly.

    17. Star Wars: Chicks with blasters. LOTR: Chicks with swords. Who'd win at ten paces?

    There are more tightly clad, super powered, butt kicking, HW wielding women in the first page of Continuum chronicles then in all of SW, Alias, LOTR and Superman combined

    16. It takes half as much time to type "SW" than it takes to type "LOTR".

    CC, tie

    15. In Star Wars, Christopher Lee was beaten by an butt-kicking Jedi named Yoda. In LOTR, he was beaten by a slow-moving tree named.... oh, who cares what his name was. HE WAS A TREE, for crying out loud!!

    Christopher Lee is strangely absent from my book.

    14. George has better fashion sense than PJ. Mmm, flannel.

    I am the creator of CC and I wear Star Wars T-shirts I win

    13. because lucas's filmic vision is an original construct, while jackson's is mere adaptation

    Mine is also original and if this book were on film it would be the best EVER!

    12. Three words: Slave Girl Outfit

    Mesh Fieldsuit (also very yummy)

    11. Luke's second cousin, twice removed (on his mothers side) didn't tag along and almost get every one killed

    Rebecka took no relatives with her, but several other Mesh operatives caem, all very cool.

    10. In LOTR, short guys with pointy ears run away like pansies at the sight of danger. In Star Wars, short guys with pointy ears KICK butt!!!!

    No short guys with pointy ears in CC, another bonus!

    9. There were no AT-AT's at Helm's Deep, were there? Hmmm?

    SW gets this one, I don?t have a AT-AT equivalent in my book, so it wont be tripped by a rope either!

    8. Natalie Portman's abs

    There?s an entire corporation of women who are in shape and look good in my novel.

    7. A sword can't melt through a blast door, much less the gate to the Mines of Moria

    I have women with projection powers that can melt that door!

    6. Thrill as an old man tries to figure out how to open an old door!

    5. Hrmph. I did not see a SINGLE half-naked elf dancer ANYWHERE in Rivendell...

    Half naked women (or more) all over the book.

    4. At least Star Wars has an actual villain, not some stupid burning eye sitting on top of a tower. (Ed: Really!)

    My story has Zarah and shed kick Vader?s butt! (assuming she could get her hands on a lightsaber. Her ?sword? wouldn't stand up to a lightsaber I?m afraid.)

    3. When Luke left home, he got over it.

    Rebecka was partially responsible for destroying all of existence. (still has a few issues to work out on that one)

    2. Taun We is hot. Yeah, you heard me.

    Rebecka is hotter

    And the number one reason why Star Wars is better than LOTR...

    One word, Lightsabers.

    CRAP! I lost to my own argument, theres nothing cooler than lightsabers in my book, but I came up with something pretty close?.
  2. MoronDude Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 6
    Okay, I am sooooo bored right now, so I'm gonna take the time to give you reasons why Army of Darkness is better than Star Wars!


    21. Heros, SW: Luke Skywalker, force user, pilot; LOTR: Short, shoeless, hairy Frodo looking worried all the time

    Okay, hands down, Ash is a better hero than Luke. He's just a regular guy, sure, but he has more confidence than Luke, he dressed cooler, and he whined a heck of a lot less than Luke. Ash knows about chemistry and fighting styles, in fact, while luke had to learn everything from a geriatric and a muppet, Ash taught an entire kingdom to fight off the deadites!


    20. SW: The Millenium Falcon, LOTR: A Horse

    Okay, nothing can beat the Millenium Falcon in the sky, but Ash's car, when he has the spinning blades and stuff, would be way more useful than a Millenium Falcon on the ground with deadites running around.


    19. Unlike Gandalf, Obi-Wan does more than make rooms brighter

    The wisemen used Ash's Chemestry book to create explosives and stuff... you know, for splosions!


    18. The force is the ultimate power, while the ring does little more than compliment a fancy outfit.

    The Necronomicron and the Evil Dead are pretty dern powerful. It has the ability to suck people into the past and reanimate the dead. It can even make evil clones of you!


    17. Star Wars: Chicks with blasters. LOTR: Chicks with swords. Who'd win at ten paces?

    What about chicks who can fly and swoop down on you because they are demons!?!


    16. It takes half as much time to type "SW" than it takes to type "LOTR".

    AOD... It's in the middle. But if you turn your head, AOD looks like a clown face.


    15. In Star Wars, Christopher Lee was beaten by an butt-kicking Jedi named Yoda. In LOTR, he was beaten by a slow-moving tree named.... oh, who cares what his name was. HE WAS A TREE, for crying out loud!!

    If Christopher Lee was in Army of Darkness, he'd probably be a wiseman, maybe even the head wiseman, but Ian Abercrombie did a good job. He has been called an American version of Christopher Lee... I think.


    14. George has better fashion sense than PJ. Mmm, flannel.

    Well, at least Sam Raimi isn't OBESE!


    13. because lucas's filmic vision is an original construct, while jackson's is mere adaptation

    Who could have came up with the idea to take two horror movies and make a third one that is a comedy and change the name so most people wouldn't even associate it with the previous movies? That is vision!


    12. Three words: Slave Girl Outfit

    There was actual nudity in AOD... that trumps any outfit, no matter how skimpy.


    11. Luke's second cousin, twice removed (on his mothers side) didn't tag along and almost get every one killed.

    Ash had no family. He was a lone wolf. Everytime he got a girl, she'd get turned evil and he'd have to fight her.


    10. In LOTR, short guys with pointy ears run away like pansies at the sight of danger. In Star Wars, short guys with pointy ears KICK butt!!!!

    No short guys with pointy ears, but there was this demonic flying thing with pointy ears... and breasts... so there's more nudity for ya!


    9. There were no AT-AT's at Helm's Deep, were there? Hmmm?

    Yeah, Ash coulda used an AT-AT.


    8. Natalie Portman's abs

    Um... even the nudity can't beat that one.


    7. A sword can't melt through a blast door, much less the gate to the Mines of Moria

    ...but a giant explosive can mow down tons of zombies!


    6. Thrill as an old man tries to figure out how to open an old door!

    The wisemen had to figure out how to get Ash home, and the succeded, depending on what ending you watch.


    5. Hrmph. I did not see a SINGLE half-naked elf dancer ANYWHERE in Rivendell...

    NUDITY, HELLO?!?


    4. At least Star Wars has an actual villain, not some stupid burning eye sitting on top of a tower. (Ed: Really!)

    Not only does Ash have to fight off an ARMY OF DARKNESS, but also his evil se
  3. Jankarakk FanForce CR Southern Nevada FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 4
    Hey Moron do you have AOD on DVD??? If so may i borrow it?


    NOTE: I would have PM'ed this but I want to increase my post count :-D
  4. MoronDude Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 6
    I don't have AOD on DVD, but I might still have it on VHS if you still want it.
  5. Jankarakk FanForce CR Southern Nevada FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 4
    Well if you have it and can bare to part with it for a week (Saturday to Saturday) then yes I would like to borrow it please.
  6. MoronDude Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 6
    When I get home, I'll dig through my VHS tapes and see if I still have it. If I do, I'll bring it Saturday. If not, I won't.
  7. Jankarakk FanForce CR Southern Nevada FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 4
  8. Axia_Euxine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2003
    star 4
    I have it on DVD and it will cost you 1000 posts to borrow it. (or all of what you have)
  9. Jankarakk FanForce CR Southern Nevada FF

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2003
    star 4
    How would I give those to you?
  10. Talon_Wolfe Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 8, 2002
    star 4
    First, it must be a full moon....
  11. Moka Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2002
    star 4
    Here's a full moon (turns and drops drawers to reveal to whitest gleaming full moon in the history of history)
  12. MoronDude Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 6
    I see that my arguments are way too powerful for even Axia to counter... and so I officially win!
  13. Axia_Euxine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2003
    star 4
    If its not Star Wars it doesnt have lightsabers, so its inferior. STAR WARS ALWAYS WINS!
  14. MoronDude Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 1, 2000
    star 6
    I conceeded 2 points; Portman's abs and lightsabers... but that still means I won 19/21 points, which is still an A, so I win.
  15. Moka Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2002
    star 4
    Axia, a rebuttal? If not the judges will be forced to conceed the win to MD.
  16. JADED_JEDI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 21, 2002
    star 3
    how do i get to be a judge? i haven't posted in this tread for political reasons... can i be a judge, can i, can i, huh?
  17. Axia_Euxine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2003
    star 4
    Rebuttal coming, but you know Im right, lightsabers trump all.
  18. Protoss72000 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 3, 2001
    star 3
  19. Moka Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2002
    star 4
    Jaded, you are now an official Judge.
Moderators: DieWompRatDie, Grimby
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.