Why Would Anyone Remake This Movie? "Logan's Run"

Discussion in 'Archive: The Amphitheatre' started by Zaz, Jun 20, 2005.

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  1. Zaz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 1998
    star 9
    Sometimes the movie is so good and/or so iconic that remaking it is redundant. Sometimes the material is so insanely cheesy that remaking it is redundant. Sometimes the material is blah that remaking it is redundant.

    Somebody is remaking "The Poseidon Adventure" (1972) with Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfus and Emmy Rossum. This is a cheesy disaster flick about an ocean liner that turns upside down, trapping the passengers. They must fight their way up to the top of the boat. (Note: Physics makes the premise of this movie impossible. The boat would break in half in these circumstances, as the Titanic did.) Gene Hackman had the lead in the original and hammed it up furiously in an effort to keep himself warm.

    What a waste of time and money.
  2. Darth-Kevin-Thomas Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2002
    star 5
    well...look at it this way.

    you don't want to re-make old movies that where good. You want to re-make movies that were bad.

    Take Oceans 11. Weather you like it or nat it was a succesful film and even spawed a sequel (that sucked...but thats not the point). There are a lot of old movies that could be good if given the love and treatment they deserve.

    But all in all, the movie will probabl suck

    dkt
  3. Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 8
    I actually liked the original. Hackman's dilemma was well done and he just devoured the role like it was Shakespeare. And it moved! You barely had time to blink. It was idiotic, yes, but very entertaining.

    I seriously doubt that this new one is going to manage very well.
  4. soitscometothis Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2003
    star 5
    Is Mark Wahlberg in it? He's been in all the other bad remakes.
  5. Drew_Atreides Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 30, 2002
    star 5
    ...well, i think "The Poseidon Adventure" is generally considered as one of the first big 'disaster' movies of the 70's, as well as one of the best..


    My older sister grew up loving that film, and passed it on to me.. Sure it's silly, but it was one of the orginators of an entire genre of film..
  6. Master_SweetPea Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 4
    according to snopes.com the silent version of "The Poseidon Adventure" was being shown on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg
  7. Django211 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 6, 1999
    star 4
    Actually there has already been a remake, Sylvester Stallone's Daylight.
  8. WLDB Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2004
    star 4
    Maybe they'll flip the Queen Mary 2 in the remake. Seeing as they used the QM1 in the original.

    I dont think the ship would snap in half if it flipped. Many ships have done this and stayed intact.
  9. Zaz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 1998
    star 9
    Not ships that big.

    Next: "Damn Yankees" (1958)

    I heard that the "Chicago" team was developing a remake of this movie, so I borrowed a DVD of it.

    And boy, oh boy, is it bad. Because it was made during an musician's strike, they used the Broadway recording and lip-synced to it. That meant no creativity at all. It also meant using the Broadway cast (with one exception). The result looks like a rather amateurish TV adaptation of a stage play. And this was directed by Stanley Donen, with dances by Bob Fosse! The only good bit is a completely extrangeous dance called "Who's Got the Pain" showing Gwen Vernon and Bob Fosse (who were married) dancing together.

    The plot: A Washington Senator fan, a middle aged guy named Joe sells his soul to the devil to become a star baseball player named Joe Hardy and rescue his team from the Damn Yankees, who win all the time (that much still rings true). The cast is all really bad---Ray Walston is Mr. Applegate (ie. Satan) and is his usually godawful self. He also can't sing. Tab Hunter plays the phenom ball player with no talent and no presence. Gwen Vernon, as Lola the temptress, was not allowed to do her patented bumps & grinds by the censor. She is a sensational dancer, but she can't read a line, and is very unflatteringly photographed above the neck.

    The score is pretty lifeless, except for "Ya Gotta Have Heart", "Shoeless Joe" and "Whatever Lola Wants." So this movie seems like the perfect remake candidate. The material is promising, and you could not possibly do a worse job than they did originally.

    Except for one problem. The plot turns upon Joe wanting to get out of his deal with Applegate to return to his boring middle-aged life with his boring middle-aged wife. Yes, folks, he's going to give up being a huge sports star for that. You can see why a complete rewrite is necessary.

    Before Boston won last year, I would have rescripted it with a Red Sox fan contracting with the Devil to lift the curse of the Bambino. But that plot twist? I don't know how to get out of that one.



  10. Atticus Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 4
    I remember when my parents went to see this when Jerry Lewis was doing the show. Don't didn't know that much about it and tey wouldn't let me goto it, maybe becasue they knew I wouldn't have the patiences for a play at that time in my life.
  11. Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 8
    That silent version of The Poseidon Adventure is an urban legend, I believe. If you saw it on Snopes, you saw it on the joke section.

  12. Zaz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 1998
    star 9
    I direct the next one to you, Rogue, since I haven't seen the original, and I know it is one of your favs:

    "Sleuth" was originally done with Michael Caine and Laurence Olivier. I understand a remake is in the works with Caine in the Olivier role and Jude Law in Caine's old part.

  13. Master_SweetPea Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 4
    Poseidon
    nope it's a true story!
    I suppose you're going to try to tell me ligers aren't real either...
  14. Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 8
    Uh, No, it's not.

    That's the joke section of Snopes.

    Sleuth is a darn great movie, Olivier and Caine are both incredible and the plot takes some great turns. It?s almost too entertaining, so mindblowingly fun, it?s beyond the pale.

    If a remake is planned, they could do a lot worse than Caine and Law, both of whom would be great in their respective parts. It doesn?t need a remake, but the remake might not be that bad, if they stick with the original plot and just let Caine and Law go crazy.

    I?m not sure they will though. For a thriller, it?s very languid and it doesn?t break from its stage roots. The entire movie takes place in three rooms. I?m afraid a remake will try to jazz it up with tricky directorial things and other stuff, which will hurt the film, rather than help it.

    Great movie, though. It would be hard to ruin it, but they?ll probably do their best, Caine and Law notwithstanding.
  15. Master_SweetPea Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2002
    star 4
    oh I just got schooled...
    and I've lost all respect for snopes.com
  16. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 10
    Hollywood just seems to like raping old Michael Caine movies.

    Let's see; Get Carter? Remake sucked, original ruled. They moved to America, which was criminal.

    Italian Job; Remake sucked, original ruled. Moved it again, to America, which was criminal since the "Italian" part was the premise of the original and a footnote in the other one.

    Alfie; Remake sucked, original rules. Moved it again, to America, which was criminal since the original relied on a certain Englishness to it (and of course Caine was a ladies man despite not being pretty like Jude :p).

    So, they're redoing Sleuth, huh? Well, I guess that's better than "the Man Who Would Be King", which would have American protagonists; or "Zulu", which would be about US troops, etc etc.

    Moral of the story; America, please don't remake Michael Caine films. YOu frankly suck at it. ;)

    E_S
  17. Zaz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 1998
    star 9
    Talk about stupidity: Warner Bros. are remaking "Strangers On a Train", the 50's Hitchcock classic.

    My problem with this is that the modern colour remakes tend to supersede the classic B & W movies, whether they suck or not. Example: you can rent or borrow from the library the rotten TV version of "The Magnificent Ambersons." You can't do the same with the classic movie version, directed by Orson Welles.

    When I heard they were remaking "The Manchurian Candidate" I feared it would make it difficult to get the original, a cult classic, losing terrific performances by a great cast, most notably Angela Lansbury as the villianess and Laurence Harvey as the brainwashed hitman.

    "Strangers on a Train" features one of the creepiest--and brilliant--performances you are ever likely to see: Robert Walker as Bruno, the rich, spoiled, effete psychopath. He died young, and it was his last performance (and his only memorable one; usually he played nice young men). Not to mention Hitchcock's direction. I figure I know how they plan to 'update' it--probably both Guy and Bruno will both perform their murders (in the Hitchcock movie, only Bruno does). But so what? Keep your grubby fingers off, Warner Bros. Didn't the remake of "Psycho" teach you anything?
  18. Mastadge Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 1999
    star 7
    I agree. Strangers on a Train is such a deliberate, wonderful movie already, than any remake would be a travesty.
  19. Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 8
    It'll probably be more faithful to the book, which would mean, yes, Bruno and Guy both commit murders.

    The other big negative is that they'll probably play up the homosexuality, which in the original is beautifully underplayed and a great undercurrent. Playing it up would be a mistake, but I bet they'll do it.

    Idiotic. The original is a beautiful movie, totally beautiful and still disturbing even at this late date.

  20. Zaz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 1998
    star 9
    Yes, you're right: the production code did have its uses. And Hitchcock was a master of indirect innuendo. The scenes where Bruno stalks Guy's wife are some of the creepiest scenes ever filmed. Such is Walker's performance, you get the distinct feeling that you are watching a real murder.

    [grumble]Next, some nimrod will decide to remake "Vertigo."[/grumble]

    Next film: "Charade", (1963) the classic thriller directed by Stanley Donen and with a terrific cast: Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, Walter Matthau, and James Coburn. Was remade starring Thandi Newton and Mark Wahlberg and called "The Truth About Charlie" (2002). Died the death at the box office.

    The question is: why take a close-to-perfect movie with a great cast and remake it? You'd need a better cast (and Hepburn and Grant were terrific together) and that's impossible (Wahlberg and Newton aren't even close.) If the only wrinkle is that Newton's black, forget it.


  21. Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 8
    I actually saw The Trouble with Charlie, call me stupid. Very stupid.

    It's utterly ridiculous. It's painfully politically correct (besides the black female lead, the trio of villains are also idiotically diverse, featuring a male oriental and a black lesbian!) and the final twist is stupid, stupid, stupid. It just sucks all the life out of the original, with little humor or suspense or mystery left. Wait, let's be honest. No humor or suspense or mystery.

    It was so bad I actually wrote a full length review making fun of the movie and posted it on another website. Ugly, very ugly.

    And it wasted Stephen Dillane, one of the most talented and underappreciated actors of today by putting him in the blink and you'll miss him role of Charlie. Screw you too, Mr. Demme.
  22. ArnaKyle Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 12, 2000
    star 4
    I caught this abomination on tv a few years ago, being a fan of the original Charade. I thankfully don't really recall much of it, probably because it was so terrible. Wahlberg in the Grant role? Bad choice. Grant is perfect as the James Bond that never was, as in North by Northwest, and Hepburn is always classy. Newton and Wahlberg are both good looking people, but certainly didn't have the wit, charm, or chemistry that Hepburn and Grant brought to the picture.
  23. Zaz Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 1998
    star 9
    Next Film: "All of Me" (1984) This is probably Steve Martin's best comedy, and also features a good performance by Lily Tomlin (of whom I decidedly am not a fan, in the usual course of events). All I know about the remake, due in 2006, is that it stars Wanda Sykes; which means it falls into the 'racial remake' category.

    The plot: a dying heiress hires a moronic guru to transfer her spirit into the body of a healthy younger woman. Moronic guru waxes moronic, and transfers her into the body of her lawyer instead.

    This gave Martin an opportunity for all sorts of physical comedy, and if you could ignore his then spouse (a bore) in the role of the younger woman, the movie was very, very funny.

    I can't see the role of the deluded heiress being Sykes' cup of tea; of course, she could be playing the Martin role. We'll see; but my hopes aren't high.
  24. Rogue1-and-a-half Manager Emeritus who is writing his masterpiece

    Member Since:
    Nov 2, 2000
    star 8
    Mother of Mercy . . .

    Very, very funny movie, the one that introduced me to Steve Martin.

    This remake is going to be absolutely horrible.

  25. Ender Sai Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 18, 2001
    star 10
    Whilst we're on the topic, why would anyone remake Pink Panther? And rape it so horribly?

    I think there should be a statute against Americans remaking movies without some sort of panel first approving the remake.

    E_S
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