1. Welcome, Guest

    Upcoming events: Supanova: Melbourne (10th-12th April), Gold Coast (17th-19th April)

    Oz Comic Con: Perth (11th-12 April), Adelaide (18th-19th April)

FF:WA Wierd e-mails... and more..

Discussion in 'Oceania Discussion Boards' started by Stinky_jawa, Jun 16, 2001.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    Well, I have some pics that I got in my email and thought I would share. I know a lot of people get wierd email, so if you do and you feel its worth a giggle (or something else) share... :)

    Wierd Adds

    Circley thingie
  2. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    Like I said, I get lotsa informative emails... Heres one I just got...


    EPISODE II UPDATE: SNAP DECISIONS
    George Lucas is spending an increasing amount of time at Industrial
    Light & Magic as effects work for Episode II continues at full speed.

    The decisions being made on a regular basis are iterations of scrutiny
    of greater and greater detail. What was a two-dimensional concept
    drawing must be given a third dimension. What was a background building
    must be given a floor plan. What was a standing crowd is now dozens of
    animated individuals each needing unique movements. What was just a
    sneering face now needs some of their computer generated hair swept in
    a different direction as they move.

    These thousands of decisions must be made quickly in order to keep the
    film on schedule. One ILM artist, whose printed renderings were given a
    final approval, quietly wished to see them adorned with the red "OK"
    seen on many completed concept sketches.

    "We're moving too fast for stamps now," smiled Lucas as he left the room
    for the next batch of creative consultations
  3. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    More info just to hand...

    Shrek 2 Is already in construction for a release towards the mid 2003....

    the surely dont let the dust settle eh?
  4. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    Sigh... seems no-one gets interesting emails/info except me...
    Nevermind.. here are 3 little stories that I got today...

    Number 1
    John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him. He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John out.
    The medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the Mental Hospital, as he considered him to be OK. The Doctor said, "We have good news and bad news for you, David! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient whom you saved, Mr. John, hung himself in the bathroom, and died."
    David replied, "Doctor, he didn't hang himself. I hung him there to dry."


    Number 2
    Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process.
    When George sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries, when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
    Two weeks pass and Saddam flies to the United States for talks.
    As the 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the American's revenge. They begin talking and Saddam is uncooperative, Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers. A few seconds later, as Hussein continues his belligerence, Bush presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. As things progress, then the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. "Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"
    Bush then says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"

    Number 3
    On the light side
    Doctor Darren had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him: Darren, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And besides, you're single. Let it go......"
    But invariably a voice of reality would bring him back and say: Darren, you're a bloody vet...."
  5. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
  6. Shaven_Wookie69 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2001
    star 1
    LION TAMER

    A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people
    showed up. One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the
    other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

    The circus owner told them, "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This is
    one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good
    or you're history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip, and a gun. Who
    wants to try out first?"

    The girl said, "I'll go first." She walked past the chair, the whip,
    and the gun and stepped right into the lion's cage. The lion started
    to snarl and pant and began to charge her. About half way there, she
    threw open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

    The lion stopped dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawled up to her,
    and started licking her ankles. He continued to lick her calves,
    kissed them, and then rested his head at her feet.

    The circus owner?s mouth was on the floor. He said, "I've never seen
    a display like that in my life." He then turned to the young man and
    asked, "Can you top that?"

    The young man replied, "No problem, just get that lion out of the
    way."
  7. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    Ok.. busy day today lotsa stuff, but only the best make it this far: 1 story and a few more pics

    Story:
    The scene is set, night, cold, campfire, stars twinkle in the dark night sky...
    Three hang-glider pilots, one from Australia, one from South Africa and the other from New Zealand, are sitting round a campfire near Ayers Rock, each embroiled with the bravado for which they are famous.
    A night of tall tales begins....
    Kiven, the Kiwi says, "I must be the meanest, toughest heng glider dude there es. Why, just the other day, I linded in a field, scared a crocodile who got loose from the swamp which ate sux men before I wrestled et to the ground... weth my bare hends, a!".
    Jerry from South Africa typically can't stand to be bettered. "Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight on a tiny trail ind a fifteen foot Namibian desert snike slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grebbed thet borsted with my bare hinds and beet it's head orf ind sucked the poison down in one gulp. Ind I'm still here todaiy".
    Barry the Aussie remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.


    Pics(not related to the above story ;) )
    Pic1 Pic2 Pic3 Pic4
  8. SoulKrusher Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2000
    star 4
    Well I dont get emails like that, most people I know are sane.



    But feel free to forward some my way...
  9. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    dont worry.. the next wierd email i get is headed your way...
  10. Nice_smelling_jawa Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 19, 2001
    lol
    you seem to be talkin to yourself a lot SJ...
  11. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    Yeah, I know... people say its the first sign of madness, but I dont believe that...
  12. Nice_smelling_jawa Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 19, 2001
    Yeah, right on!! You tell 'em...

    oh btw.. your devilishly hansome looks and witty charm is quite overpowering...
  13. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    You think so? I was just thinking the same about you... Wierd...
  14. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    This is getting out of hand, now there are 2 of them!
  15. UmmYep Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2001
    star 3
    Howsabout this one

    PIPE SPECIFICATIONS

    1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centred around the hole.

    2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

    3. The inside diameter of the pipe must not exceed the outside diameter -
    otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

    4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole; water, steam or other
    stuff can be put inside at a later date.

    5. All pipe should be supplied without rust; this can be more readily applied
    at the job site. (Update: Some vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted
    pipe. If available in your area, this product is recommended, as it will save
    a lot of time on the job site.)

    6. All pipe over 500 ft (153 m) long should have the words 'long pipe' painted on each end, so the contractor will know it is a
    long pipe.

    7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words 'long pipe' painted in the middle, so the contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe.

    8. All pipe over 6" in diameter must have the words 'large pipe' painted on it so the contractor will not mistake it for a small
    pipe.

    9. Flanges must be used on all pipes. Flanges must have holes for bolts, and
    these holes must be quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

    10. When ordering 90-degree, 45-degree or 30-degree elbows, be sure to specify left hand or right hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

    11. Be sure to specify whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water
    will flow the wrong way.

    12. All couplings should have either right hand or left hand threads, but do
    not mix the threads - otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed onto one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.
  16. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    Ok, here's one I got sent this morning, you'll need Power Point to view it.

    Edit: damn iinet!
  17. UmmYep Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2001
    star 3
  18. UmmYep Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2001
    star 3
    You all know those inspirational pictures that get pasted all over workplaces?

    I got the answers.

    Pic1
    Pic2
    Pic3
    Pic4
    Pic5
    Pic6

    Thanks to despair.com
  19. Nice_smelling_jawa Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 19, 2001
    hmm.. not sure if its my computer.. but those links didnt work? It kept diverting to a different address.. this one actually:
    http://media.nbci.com/tosviol/tosviol.gif

    which i presume isnt the desired picture(s)...
  20. Sith Magician Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 14, 1999
    star 5
    If you right click and select "save target as" it downloads it.
  21. UmmYep Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2001
    star 3
  22. Stinky_jawa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 7, 2000
    star 4
    Gee u nice smelling jawa.. didnt u know that?
    tut tut.. call yourself a computer wizz?
  23. UmmYep Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2001
    star 3
    hmmm, computer... wizz... i could go somewhere with that...
    but i think i'll restrain myself...
  24. JediGecko Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 13, 2000
    star 4
  25. mutley Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 13, 1998
    star 4
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.