FF:WA Wierd e-mails... and more..

Saw that a couple of weeks ago on snopes.com
apparently it's a rare but known birth defect.

 

[image=http://www.applegeeks.com/lite/strips/aglite15.jpg]

 

So true. I think I'm gonna cry.

X3 could have been so good.

never mind. Superman will Return!

 

Has anyone else received the email claiming that the (insert expletive here) that killed that young girl in Canning Vale, is one of the pair that killed Jamie Bulger in the UK several years ago ??

Is there and fact at all to this or is it, as I believe, some kind of sick joke ??

 

According to snopes it's not true. They tend to check their sources pretty well.

 

I saw on the news this morning that it was all fake, which I kinda thought from the start

 

Yay! - pity it's so far away I hope they don't ruin it with a poor new series.

 

w00t, access from work now! Either the fire-wall's broken or they've unfiltered this site!

 

Everything you wanted to know about ninjas. Make sure you check the early episodes.

http://askaninja.com

 

One from my fiancee:


At a U2 concert in Glasgow, Bono asks the audience for some quiet.

Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.

Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone



"Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."







A voice from near the front pierces the silence;



"Well, stop ******* doing it then."

 

Get a load of the legal warning on this site.

http://www.derbyshireguide.co.uk/news/index.htm

 

Can't say they didn't warn you !

 

You've probably all heard this one by e-mail.

McDonald's is doing a new burger. It's called the Westcoaster. Comes with free coke and ice.

 

Something sent to me by my wife:

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
===========================
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
===========================
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now.

 

Sounds about right

 

Here's an email I received

Subject: Press Release re Didak


Press Release re Didak
After revelations that their members were out with Alan Didak, the Hells
Angels have released a statement claiming that they had no knowledge
that their members were mixing with Collingwood players and they will be
launching a full investigation to find and suspend the members
concerned.

"Its simply unacceptable and stupid behaviour for our members to be
associating with these types of people. Our members are role models and
should know better" said Club President

 

[image=http://www.members.iinet.net.au/~red5/brazillian.jpg]

May need to click it.. I thought it was funny

 

I got this random email today from somebody that works at Hakea Prison...

Subject: The year so far....

1) Made a preliminary final in 2006

2) Traded away Graham Polak and pick number 8 in the draft to secure Chris Tarrant to cash in on the "premiership window

3) Were premiership favourites pre-season. All dockers fans celebrate the flag they haven't won yet, but convince themselves that on the basis of 8 wins in a row last year surely it is in the bag.

4) The Wiz punches out a bouncer at a nightclub, Freo suspends him for 7 weeks.

5) Lose their first game to port after being in front by 40 points in the third quarter

6) Numerous players subsequently get reported for belting other players indiscriminantly

7) Chris Tarrant bares his backside in Darwin. Freos "culture" brought into question.

8) Ben Reid, the player Collingwood got with Freo's pick 8 kicks 3 goals in his debut match

9) Graham Polak in All australian form with the struggling Tigers

10) Tarrant has kicked less goals than Quentin Lynch, in a season where Lynch has underperformed.

11) Rumours abound that Pav hates "Cuddles" Connolly. Bad for Team morale

12) Miss 3 set shots for goal against the Kanga's at home and lose by less than a goal.

13) It is still "mathematically possible" for Freo to make the 8, assures Chris Connolly. West Coast fans laugh in unison.

I would like to thank the Fremantle football club. During this period of poor form by the West Coast it is always good open the paper and chuckle at the comedy that is Freo 2007. Week in week out they can turn my frown
upside down with pure efforts of comedy gold.

Just remember, no one can take away the trophy you guys won at the London derby.

Heave ho.

 

I saw this in the Letters section of today's (7/8) The West Australian.

On the back page of yesterday's The West Australian I saw a group of smiling Dockers proudly holding aloft a trophy. What's this, I thought, has this team of perennial failures finally won the premiership? I then realised that it is early August, not late September, an a check of the ladder revealed they are languishing in 13th position and unlikely to make the finals. Why the celebrations? Oh, of course, they beat West Coast which meana they have had another successful season.

 

Obviously written by an Eagles supporter who couldn't handle watching Benny get knocked around a bit.

 

Yes, but it wasn't me. My boss is a Dockers supporter, so any Dockers joke I get sent (mostly by my dad) I leave on his desk. He knows who put it there too...

 

oOoOOOoooo.. magic...

[edit: made me go: no freakin way!]

 

Yeah I saw that one. Part of me wants to know how they do that sort of stuff but the other part of me thinks it might ruin the fun to know.

 

Lists of Tolkien's rejected plot twists for Lord of the Rings

List I
10. Bolger vs. Lumpkin: Fifteen rounds of Fatty Insanity!
9. Sauron revealed as Frodo's father.
8. Pippin hits on Eowyn in a dark corner of the Houses of Healing: "The hands of a Hobbit are the hands of a healer too, you know..."
7. A fed-up Eagle-Lord to Gandalf trapped at Orthanc: "Fly yourself, magic-boy."
6. Balin emerges from the depths of Moria, claiming he "fell asleep in the tub."
5. The Shire, mobilized by Merry and Pippin, annexes Bree and slaughters "the Big Folk."
4. Bombadil pulls switcheroo with Frodo: keeps One Ring as trinket for Goldberry.
3. With Middle-earth saved, Gandalf turns his talents to research:
Frodo: "Is that a new kind of pipe-weed?"
Gandalf: "Yeah, kinda."
2. Boromir uses the Ring, saves Gondor, destroys Sauron and becomes a wise and benevolent ruler.
1. Gollum adapts to molten Mt. Doom environment; will play a critical role in Fourth Age crisis.

List II
10. After battle with Balrog, Gandalf returns to Istari HQ in San Francisco. Returns as "the Pink Rider."
9. Believing revenge to be a dish best served cold, Gimli stealthily beheads Legolas, Eomer, the sentry of Lothlorien, and everybody else who "pissed me off."
8. BATF raid on Gandalf's fireworks warehouse.
7. Ents and Elves dispute over title of "Firstborn." Elrond has Quickbeam made into an armoire; Treebeard grinds Glorfindel into mulch.
6. Black Tongue of Mordor recognized as a valid language by Middle Earth public schools and DMV.
5. Elvish runes at doors of Moria read, "Speak, stupid, and enter."
4. In the happy days after the defeat of Sauron, Gimli keeps his promise and visits Mirkwood with Legolas -- where they are eaten by spiders, whom everybody had forgotten about.
3. Flash-forward to the Fifth Age, where Bilbo still hasn't finished that damn book.
2. Orc-slaughter competition between Legolas and Gimli becomes so fierce, they take to killing some of the smaller, uglier men of Gondor.
1. Ent-draughts available in Ice, Lite and Dry.

List III
10) Earendil's Star contains a spaceship which carries away the faithful to a higher plane of existence.
9) Frenzied Elven orgy in the Last Homely House.
8) Gandalf trips over parapet and plummets from the peak of Orthanc.
7) Saruman of Many Colours does brief ad campaign for Tide Colour Bleach.
6) A distinctly un-tame lion comes on the scene roaring about "Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve." He is promptly killed by Beorn for scaring his sheep.
5) Samwise begins to experience Smeagol/Gollum schizophrenia after the Fall of Sauron. He calls Arwen Evenstar "my Precious" and is beheaded by King Elessar.
4) The three Elven Rings do not fade away after the destruction of The One. Lothlorien and Rivendell become communes, while Gandalf sets up benevolent dictatorship at Dale.
3) Aragorn bravely leads the Grey Company along the Paths of the Dead. The Oathbreakers, summoned to the Stone of Erech, decide to continue their apostasy and attack Aragorn instead.
2) The Mouth of Sauron resorts to cheap taunts and insults thrown at Aragorn's army--all in an outRAGeous French accent.
1) Bombadil exposed as Mordor spy by his beloved Goldberry, an Elven double agent. Nazgul and Elven Lords converge on Old Forest and War is over without disrupting the common folk of Middle Earth.

List IV
10) Aragorn discovers that he is not, in fact, Elendil's heir. His older brother, Mutt, after having lived with Ghan-buri-Ghan & Co., lays claim to the throne after all the "dirty work" is done.
9) Miruvor bash and subsequent hangover right before the Redhorn Pass fiasco.
8) Butterbur's binge-and-purge history and 12-step recovery.
7) Dwarves finally rise up in protest of consistent unfavorable comparisons with Elves. They file a class action and receive compensatory damages for "racial injustice" and "emotional distress."
6) Bilbo, Gloin and Elrond set out after the Fellowship to prove "the Old Guard" still has it. They settle in Lothlorien and build a retirement flet community.
5) Galadriel discovers Pippin

 

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