Before Will The Sun Ever Shine Again? PART 7 (re-edited version of old story! obi-torture) updated 10/3

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Padawan_Jess_Kenobi, Aug 25, 2009.

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  1. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Title: Will The Sun Ever Shine Again?
    Author(s): Padawan_Jess_Kenobi
    Timeframe: JA- I'm saying Obi is around 17-18
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn... others.
    Genre: Angsty, and Obi-abuse... shhhh! The torture scenes are mildly described, at least I think so.
    Keywords: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn
    Summary: Obi is captured on a foreign planet, and he finds his strength and hope fading.

    MAJOR AUTHORS NOTE: Ok, so this is kind of weird. I wrote 5 parts to this story back in 2003, when I was 13 years old. (I guess that makes me a sick and twisted 13-year old lol). I am now revisiting this story, and am editing it again and changing some parts. I hope to be able to finish this story this time around. I am sorry for those people that liked my story back when I posted it... 6 years ago. I hope that I can do a bit of justice and make it better this time. :)




    Cold. Pain.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi' s knew little else but those two awful senses, and they enveloped his soul and left him breathless. He shivered, the torn pieces of his Jedi garments bearing him little to no warmth. Obi-Wan tried to sit up, and could barely contain a whimper as a sharp pain shot through his ribs and chest. He rested his hand on the wall, and attempted to pull himself into a standing position.

    The young Jedi managed to stand for a couple seconds until his injured ankle could support him no longer, and he came crashing down. He barely registered the feel of the floor against his body, though from memory he knew it was hard and unyielding.

    The cell he was in was a tiny one, and barely any light was visible through a sliver in the wall which served as a window. Even during the day the room was plunged in an unnatural darkness, though Obi-Wan?s eyes had grown accustomed in time. The walls that surrounded him were of a steel colored gray, and several sharp nails protruded from it at random. The room was bare, with nothing in it that could provide the Jedi with comfort, or shield him from the cold at night.

    Obi-Wan looked at himself through a small puddle of water in the corner of the room. His tunic was in pieces, and had lost it sandy coloring, instead being replaced by grime and the grittiness of dried blood. His normally short brown-gold hair was now filthy, and it hung in an unkempt mess a little below his ear. The only act of mercy that had been shown to him was that his braid had not been cut off.

    His ribs protruded in a way that was evidence to the semi-starved state he was sustained in. Nearly his entire body was covered in blood, and whether it was dry or fresh, Obi-Wan could not tell anymore. He turned around gingerly to look at his back, and his eyes were met with ugly welts and thick bloodied scars. Obi-Wan winced as he tentatively drew in a breath; his abused and bruised ribs allowing him minimal movement and breathing.

    A sound cut through the stale air suddenly, shocking him into movement.

    Footsteps.

    Obi-Wan immediately backed up against the wall, his throat closing with anxiousness. It was him. He was coming. Obi-Wan trembled silently, and fought against the rising fear. The footsteps were coming closer, and getting louder.

    They seemed to echo around the cell, until Obi-Wan could hear nothing else but its fall in his ears. Every second, the sound of boots hitting the floor became louder and louder, until they were like blasters filling the air.

    Obi-Wan gulped involuntarily. He tried to reach the Force to help calm him, but he was too weak to reach out and draw on the ever-elusive power. The door started to open slowly, and a sensation of evil so strong permeated the room that Obi-Wan had to fight the pain it caused him.

    A figure capped all in black walked slowly into the room, and the feeling of malevolence trailed him as would a shadow. Obi-Wan struggled to hold back his emotion, but when the figure spoke, he could not help but shiver.

    "Are you scared Little Jedi?'' The figure asked, drawing out certain syllables. Obi-Wan tried to bolt down his fear, and sat still, not answering out of defiance.

    "An
  2. JediKaren Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2007
    star 3
  3. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Ah...a PM awoke an unfinished story! =D=

    Note to other authors: putting stories in your bio so readers like me click on them, then PM the author as to WHAT HAPPENED? works wonders. [face_laugh]
    I'll be curious to see how you edited those parts you wrote years ago.
  4. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4



    All my favourite ingredients in a story. :D
    Obi-Wan,[face_love] Obi torture,:D Obi-Wan,[:D] Obi angst.:p

    Obi-Wan :* and hopefully some one to save him. [face_praying]

    Nice start.=D=
  5. SJ_More Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2009
    star 1
    Ooo! Interesting re-edited story. I happily await your next chapter! ;)
  6. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    JediKaren - thank you! :)

    Valairy_Scot - putting stories in your bio so readers like me click on them, then PM the author as to WHAT HAPPENED? works wonders- hahaha sooo true! I definitely blame you for making me think about this fic, and deciding to rewrite it! :p

    Gkilkenny - I agree exactly with everything you said! All a story needs is some Obi-Wan, some angst and some drama, and I'm all set! O:) Thank you so much for reading!

    SJ_More - I appreciate that, thank you!



    Ok, so here is part 2! Thank you again to those of you who are reading and who were kind enough to comment!

    Anything bold and italicized is a flashback!!

    PART 2: To Feel Hope



    The feeling hit Qui-Gon like a blow to the stomach, and he shot up in bed, his every sense alert and probing. A sharp pain exploded in his chest, though it faded a moment later almost as quickly as it had come. A voice echoed in his head; Master, it had pleaded with an emotion so strong that it still burned in Qui-Gon?s mind. His heart raced, and he felt a surge of feeling rise within him. It was an emotion born of pure hope, but the Jedi Master believed it; he had to believe it.

    Obi-Wan was alive.

    The sudden stab of pain Qui-Gon had just felt was living proof of it. Their bond. They had always had a strong bond, even before Qui-Gon had accepted Obi-Wan as his padawan. When Obi-Wan?s mental shields were down in the past, Qui-Gon was usually able to feel the younger Jedi?s emotions, such as joy, fear, apprehension, and worry.

    Pain especially left a firm mark on the other's mind for a little while, and though the sensation was dulled, Qui-Gon had experienced it. There was no other explanation except for the one he allowed himself to believe.

    Qui-Gon had felt nothing but numbing quiet on the other end of his padawan?s bond ever since he had been captured five weeks ago. A sliver of hope ran down his spine, warming his chilled body as would the sudden caress of the sun. He knew it would only bring him more pain to hope, but the Jedi Master could not stop the feeling. He closed his eyes in painful remembrance of their last mission together.


    Obi-Wan craned his nick slightly upwards to get a better look at his tall Master. "How much longer until we land, Master?" he asked, fidgeting a little, obviously anxious to get out of the stuffy transport and start the mission.

    Qui-Gon smiled down at his apprentice, and placed a large hand on the young man?s strong shoulder. "We will be landing in ten minutes, though you must learn patience, Obi-Wan. When we arrive on the planet you must be careful, for this is a very unfriendly place, and we need to exercise caution. The situation is especially dangerous, and this mission is not to be taken lightly."

    They were about to land on a planet called Deirosa, a planet that seemed as though it were tucked into the very corner of the galaxy. The reports the Jedi had read prior to their arrival revealed that the planet was currently plunged in the middle of a civil war in which the two opposing sides were the Maasrcs and the Yidlf. The Yidlf had had control of the planet for the last few centuries, and just recently a Maasrcs rebellion had broken out. The Maasrcs fought with an unexpected blood-thirsty lust for battle which the Yidlf had met equally, resulting in devastating massacres and losses for both sides.

    There was also one other side to the planet that had recently been discovered, that had been unknown for countless years. This side was so far un-named and had no identity to look for, but it was clearly growing in power and misdeeds. No one knew their intentions exactly, but it was known to not be good. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had traveled far to this war-torn planet in an effort to find an end to the war and bloodshed.

    Qui-Gon turned his attention back to Obi-Wan, who was trying his best to appear patient and serene, but was tapping his boot against the floor in a soft rhyth,. Qui-Gon considered lecturing him again on the v
  7. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I like this idea of posting every few days - I am a very anxious reader who can't wait for the next post to be up. Heck, I devour whole books at one sitting if possible.
  8. littleobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2009
    star 1
    just found the story, love t. please put me one your PM. so I don`t miss the next chapter.
  9. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Don't waste too much time Qui-Gon just find Obi.:D
  10. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: I'm the same way, I frequently read large portions of books at one sitting! Sorry this chapter took me a little longer, but its out now!

    littleobiwankenobi: Thank you so much! I've never had someone request to be PM'd updates... I'm so excited! :D

    Gkilkenny: hahahaha so true! If Qui-Gon spend a little less time being all introspective and mopey, he might just find Obi-Wan sooner :p


    PART THREE!


    Obi-Wan awoke in the middle of the night to the sensation of pain spreading throughout his body like wildfire. A small whimper crept up his throat and passed through chapped lips. The pain was intensifying every second, until it was almost unbearable in its degree.


    Unintentionally, a yelp broke free of Obi-Wan's abused vocal cords. He forced his bruised hands to his mouth, trying to dampen down the noise. But it was too late; the Dark Shadow had already heard it.


    Obi-Wan once again found himself backing up against the wall, and he closed his eyes to gather what strength he had left. He could hear the shotgun noise of his boots hitting the floor, the whisper of his fluttering cloak. It sent a chill down the Jedi?s spine, as it always did.


    The door slammed open, and a draft of even colder air encircled Obi-Wan, drawing him closer within himself. The figure emitted a growl that was almost feral in its wildness. It drew closer, and Obi-Wan steeled himself mentally.


    A less familiar, yet equally menacing whip produced from the long sleeves, and it seemed to grow in size in the figure's hands. "I see that you are awake," It hissed mockingly, venom dripping on its voice. ?Will you admit that I have defeated you? I can make the pain go away, you know.?


    Obi-Wan steadied his breath and lifted his head, meeting the darkness of the figure?s hooded face with defiance.


    The figure brought the whip down hard onto Obi-Wan's already hurt shoulder, and the Jedi had to bite his lip to force himself to remain silent. ?What did I say about defying me?" It yelled, the first hint of frustration evident in its voice.


    Obi-Wan raised his head slowly again, more proudly this time, with eyes that blazed like twin sapphires. He had already accepted his eventual death, and would not make it all the sweeter for his captor to indulge in his wishes.


    The man once again brought down the whip, and the force of the impact knocked Obi-Wan down to his knees in pain. "I said that I would make you beg for the sweet release of death, and to that promise, I hold,? he said maliciously, bringing the whip down in a flash of pain that erupted into light.


    It seemed forever until the thrashes stopped, and Obi-Wan was barely aware of when the gleaming whip was put back into the man's flowing cape. He lowered his face so that he could stare at Obi-Wan directly, though there was nothing but darkness within the hood.

    "I hope that will teach you a lesson, Jedi," he whispered, his words seeming to suck the very air from the room. He straightened suddenly and stalked out of the room, slamming the heavy steel door behind him, leaving Obi-Wan alone again.


    The young man tried to control the uprising agony, but it was too great. He could not overcome this without the help of the Force, without its soothing touch. He longed for it, for its answers and reassurance. He reached out his mind to grasp the Force, and for a moment he could feel it as it if were something physical. But as another bout of pain hit him, it slipped away, suddenly as elusive as the wind.


    Obi-Wan gripped his chest with his right hand, and placed his left palm on the cold ground, holding himself up in a semi-upright position. He shivered and let out a rough cough, the noise grating and course to his own ears. He coughed again, and then again, until he found he was unable to stop, and it wracked his weakened frame.


    His head stared to spin until Obi-Wan could barely hold himself up. He wiped the blood from the sides of his mouth, and stared at it, barely registering the sight. Through the darkness he could see that it was scarlet, and it stayed o
  11. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Very good - the description was so good, and the snowy-fun-snowball fight flashback contrasted with the heat of pain was very effective.

    As long as he can bleed he can endure - shivers.
  12. Icepaw_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2009
    star 3
    Very good! =D=
    More please??? [face_praying]
    Please add me to the PM list, if you are doing one.
  13. littleobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2009
    star 1
    can´t wait for the next chapter

    The man that had started the conversation waited a couple seconds before doing the code again, the message a long series of taps and low whistles. ?He will last, he has to. He is a Jedi. He is a Jedi, and I think I know him.?

    I wonder who this person is!!
  14. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Why is it that we love to make Obi-Wan suffer...:_| I wonder sometimes what did he ever do to us that we write him in so many angsty situations.o_O

    Let me think ...[face_thinking] Oh of course I know why.[face_idea] Because we can.[face_skull]


    Finally someone in the cell block may be able to help poor Obi, but they better hurry because he doesn't sound to healthy.[face_worried]

    Wonderful post.=D=
  15. SJ_More Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2009
    star 1
    Nice update on the chapters. It makes me very curious as to what is going to happen next.
    I did like how you picture the other inmates communicating with one another,and I am curious like the others who this stranger is that supposedly knows Obi-wan. Hmm, who could it be?!:confused:
  16. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: he description was so good, and the snowy-fun-snowball fight flashback contrasted with the heat of pain was very effective. Thank you! That was definitely the effect I had in mind when I wrote the snowball fight/pain sequence, and I was really hoping that it would come across. I'm so glad it did! :)

    Icepaw_Kenobi: yayyy a second PM list person! That's so exciting! :D Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review!

    littleobiwankenobi: I wonder who this person is!! Dun dun dunnnn... methinks the mysterious identity will be revealed soon... cough cough... ;)

    GKilKenny: Why is it that we love to make Obi-Wan suffer... I wonder sometimes what did he ever do to us that we write him in so many angsty situations hahaa I wonder the same exact things! he's such a wonderful character and we all love him to death... so why do we have to really play out that "death" part? haha i don't know why I like to write him in angsty situations either. I guess it's that whole "you hurt the one you love" thing :p Thank you soo much for your kind words too! <3

    SJMore: Thank you thank you thank you! I was hesitant about the mystery-man's identity when I wrote this 3 years ago, but a lot of people really seemed to like it when I revealed to he was, so let's hope it goes down that well this time around too! *hopes*

    As usual, all of you who took the time to review are AMAZING and totally made me smile :) i appreciate it so much! I'm sorry if my posts are starting/going to get a little less frequent, it is just because I moved into college yesterday and there are a thousand and one things going on! but i am doing my best to not leave you in the dark :) oh and sorry if this post is a little boring/uneventful... it's kind of just a filler lol

    PART 4




    The man that had spoken leaned against a side of his own cell?s wall. The cold surface chilled his back, soothing the old and new scars that marred the pale skin. He had been in this place for so long that the hours had slipped into days that he had long lost track of. He had seen and heard the terrible things that the Dark Shadow, as he was called, had done to prisoners. But he had never seen any other prisoner take the pain as stoically and determinedly as the boy in the next cell did.
    The man could remember the first day that the young Jedi had been dragged in. It had been during their free hour, which was a slot of time given to the prisoners once a month in which they were moved from their tiny cells into another larger room. There they were allowed to stretch their weary legs and even talk amongst themselves, though the guards always stood close by with weapons in case the fatigued prisoners tried to revolt or escape. No one besides him had even tried.

    He remembered seeing the boy, but he had looked so different then than he did now. The young Jedi had been a handsome man in his late teens, with hair that had been the closest to sun the prisoners had seen in a long time. He had worn the traditional sand-colored robes of the Jedi, not the tattered remnants of the tunic that hung loosely off his body now.

    He had been lean and muscular, with a grace that seemed born of a quiet yet insurmountable internal strength. It had been obvious just by watching him struggle that he did not give up easily, even when the odds were pitted firmly against him. They guards had hit him hard with their long staffs just to get him under control, and the weapon made such a sickening sound that even a few of the guards flinched. The young Jedi hadn?t even winced.

    It took the hooded captors a long time to break him, and he was here for many a night before the first whimper of pain escaped through his lips. He had been stronger than most thought imaginable, for all the other prisoners found themselves crying out in agony within their first few days of capture. Of course time was irrelevant to the man and his fellow prisoners- for the sun never truly shone. Day brought only a lightened darkness, and so they were always plunged i
  17. dimyavie Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 3, 2006
    star 1
    Wow. Such a gripping story! Your descriptions of Obi's feelings and thoughts are well written!! :) The torture Obi is enduring is heart wrenching too. I love that he's still thinking of Qui, and I was happy to read Qui's vow to find his padawan.

    Having Xanatos in the prison too is an interesting twist! I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this. Also, if you send out PMs with updates, could I please be added? Thanks
  18. SJ_More Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2009
    star 1
    Hmm that is an interesting character to be a captured prisioner as well. I would never had suspected that he'd be the one but I guess that's what makes the story interesting. :D Yes it was definitely a filler chapter but sometimes those kind of chapters need to be in there too. Nice chapter by the way.
    Good luck at college, what year are you? :confused:
  19. littleobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2009
    star 1
    oh what a wonderful start in the new week, with an update.
    love the way of the story is going. Can´t wait for more.
  20. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    A wonderful twist, now with Xanatos there too, he might be able to help Obi. By the sounds of it they need to help him quickly or he'll die.:_|



    =D=
  21. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    dimyavie: Thank youuuu so much! I'm a big fan of Obi always holding on to hope and stuff, even when faced with dire (and rather painful! situations), and I also like the idea of Qui-Gon willing to do anything to find him. I'm glad you liked the Xanatos thing! I had written it that way all those years ago and I considered changing it this time around, but then I figured ahh what the hell, people liked the idea the last time so I figured I'd try it again haha. Now I only have to figure out where I'm going with this! :p And yayyyy of course I'll add you to a PM list :)

    SJ_More: Yeah I don't know what made me choose Xani to be in the prison, buuut I figured I'd just roll with the idea haha. I'll be interested to know where I go with it too :p and thank you! I'm a sophmore in college now... I can't believe I'm there already!

    littleobiwankenobi: your reviews always make me so happy! i totally appreciate your kind words! :)

    Gkilkenny: hmm I'm evil, but I don't think I'm evil enough to do any permanent damage to our poor little Obi! He always manages to come out alright in the end :p



    PART 5





    Obi-Wan felt a surge of strength shoot through him, and he pushed himself into a standing position so he could see better. His had to be wrong; it could not possibly be Xanatos. But he knew it was true even as he tried to tell himself that it wasn?t; his Master?s former padawan was standing in front of him.

    Obi-Wan looked around the room for anything he could defend himself with, but it was sparse, and he found nothing. He raised his trembling hands up in a defensive position, ready if Xanatos attacked him. For the first time in a long while, his senses were alert and he was poised for action, though he strangely sensed no danger from the older man.

    Xanatos approached slowly, trying not to frighten the young man. "It?s alright, Obi-Wan. I'm not going to hurt you."

    ?You died,? Obi-Wan said suddenly, the look of suspicion on his face slipping into one of genuine confusion. ?Five years ago, you died.?

    Xanatos? pale lips broke into a smile, and a hint of what he must have once been shone through in that moment. ?I was reborn,? he said almost grandiosely.

    Obi-Wan did not smile back but held his gaze steadily, his eyes hard. ?Do not try to use your charm on me, Xanatos, it won?t work. I know who you are, and what you?ve done,? Obi-Wan said coldly. His legs started to give out and he slipped slightly, but when he saw Xanatos move towards him, he straightened again in an act of defiance. He would not let Xanatos see him as weak.

    Xanatos paused, holding his hands out imploringly. "I know you won't believe me when I say I only want to help you. I don?t think I would believe it either if I were you. But I have changed; I?m not the man that you met all those years ago. I'm different; I've given up on my anger, my fear, and most of all my hatred. I don?t want to suffer anymore, I can?t.? His ice blue eyes cut into Obi-Wan's sapphire ones, and though they showed only the truth, Obi-Wan knew how manipulative the dark-haired former Jedi could be.

    ?Those are pretty words Xanatos, but do not forget that I?ve seen the effect your words have on people. I will not be as easily deceived as the others before me.? Obi-Wan?s spoke harshly, and his eyes smoldered.

    ?I have given you no reason to trust me, I know,? Xanatos sighed, ?but you must, Obi-Wan.? His voice was steady and though it showed no hint of desperation, his eyes were nearly pleading.

    Obi-Wan lowered his arms, and this time his voice was softer. "How can I believe you? I saw what you did to my Master, and I saw how you killed people without a thought, all for your own gain. Qui-Gon suffered, Xanatos, he suffered every day because of you. For three years he would not let me into his heart completely because of what you did to him. How can I believe you??

    Xanatos just stared at the young Jedi, and for the first time in his life, he did not know what to say.



    Qui-Gon Jinn struggled to control his emotions as he stood in front of the Jedi Counc
  22. SJ_More Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 28, 2009
    star 1
    Excellent section as always. :D Curious, this is, how will Xanantos gain Obi-Wan's trust, hmm? Oooh and nicely done with Yoda, my favorite[face_love], as well as the other council members! Keep up the good work and try not to get too stressed this semester. I'm in my 3rd year and it's like the best semester ever, at least it is so far!
  23. Icepaw_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2009
    star 3
    Ooh, what's gonna happen???

    Great update, as always! =D=

    Thanks for the PM, and sorry I missed your last one.

    More please?
  24. littleobiwankenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2009
    star 1
    I love the story

    Qui-Gon?s hands curled up into fists, and when he spoke, his words were like iron. ?Patience is not a luxury I have at this moment. I will not stay here another hour while my padawan is out there, injured and dying. Whether it is the will of the council or not, I am going.?

    good for obi, that he his against the Council.

  25. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    ?Patience is not a luxury I have at this moment. I will not stay here another hour while my padawan is out there, injured and dying. Whether it is the will of the council or not, I am going.?

    That's the Qui-Gon we all know and love. Won't he be surprised when he finds Xanatos as well.:eek:


    =D=
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