Wine tasting in Lanarkshire

Discussion in 'Scotland' started by PadawanSDM, Jul 11, 2002.

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  1. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    Here is a wee story that made me [face_laugh]

    CHARLES Provan, who admits to living
    in Lanarkshire, the wine-drinking
    centre of Scotland, was taken aback
    when he opened a bottle of normally
    cheeky claret to find it extremely
    musty. He took it back to the
    supermarket in Larkhall whence it
    came - such is the relentless march
    of gentrification - and explained to
    the cashier that the wine was
    "corked". To which she replied: "Aw
    oor wines are corked, it's only the
    cheap wans that come screwtapped".

    That's like my friend, who had been living in England for years, visited her Mum in Castlemilk and decided to go to the local offsales for some Gin. She asked "What kind of Gin does this establishment sell" and was told "Bottles, haulf bottles and quarter bottles"
  2. MOTs_Minx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2000
    star 6
    Are you talking about me????

    Or do you have another friend who's mother still lives in The 'Mulk?

    LOL

    I get my litre boattle of gin fae Aldi's cuz its cheap. LOL
  3. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    Another friend, I'm sure you haven't been that Anglified yet.
  4. MOTs_Minx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2000
    star 6
    //sticks nose in air

    You'd be surprised, love.

    LOL

    Mind you, my mammy would kick me and I have no intention of becoming one iota Anglified.

    edited due to profanity
  5. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    LOL - I remember coming back from Debs' folks and asking my Mum to make me a "buttie". She nearly threw the knife at me exclaiming "Butties is it, is a piece no good enough for you now?"
  6. Gav Daragon Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2000
    star 5
    points at Cass

    She lies!!!

    She gets mair and mair English everytime Ah see her!

    LOL! ;)
  7. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    She didn't look too snooty with that belt round her head on the BBQ pics - LOL
  8. Gav Daragon Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2000
    star 5
    I meant to say English. She also had a fork in her heid an all! Class
  9. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    If there is one thing Castlemilk is known for Andy, it's classy chicks ;)
  10. Gav Daragon Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 25, 2000
    star 5
    LOL! She's gonna batter us senseless when she sees this ;)
  11. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    You said it Andy - Surprised that she hasn't been on by now.

    //ducks behind Andy
  12. MOTs_Minx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2000
    star 6
    edited due to profanity

    And I'll have yous know that that fork I had behind my ear was a weapon.

    Its a pity I forgot it was there when Mayhem slagged off my blinds.

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