Here is a wee story that made me CHARLES Provan, who admits to living in Lanarkshire, the wine-drinking centre of Scotland, was taken aback when he opened a bottle of normally cheeky claret to find it extremely musty. He took it back to the supermarket in Larkhall whence it came - such is the relentless march of gentrification - and explained to the cashier that the wine was "corked". To which she replied: "Aw oor wines are corked, it's only the cheap wans that come screwtapped". That's like my friend, who had been living in England for years, visited her Mum in Castlemilk and decided to go to the local offsales for some Gin. She asked "What kind of Gin does this establishment sell" and was told "Bottles, haulf bottles and quarter bottles"