Before Wishes ( I am taking this over from Lyn) NEW UPDATE 11/3!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by KylieKenobi, Sep 25, 2005.

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  1. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
    Okay- well i am taking this story over from Force-sensitivelyn23 because she is too busy to work on it. I'll start it from the beginning my way, though.

    and this is my 4th ever post on the whole boards and my first ever fanfic, please go easy on me.


    My name is Amie Kenobi. I'm 15 years old, and this is my story. I only have one ambition in my life, to be a Jedi Knight. Once, a long time ago, i had a brother. His name was Obi-Wan. I knew him for exactly 12 days, 12 hours,2 minutes and 23 seconds before the Jedi took him away. Did that change my heroic views of the jedi? Not one bit. In fact,if anything, it escalated them. Now i had another reason to want to be a jedi. I could see my brother again.

    Now, i'm not stupid. I know that i'm well past the age that someone can start training to be a Jedi. But everyone can dream right? Well, anyway, i'm ranting, so i better start telling you my story.

    I was 13 the year the war started.
  2. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Intriguing.

    I'll be interested to see where you go with this, as I am not familar with the original story.

  3. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
    * turns red*

    i 4got to tell u, the original story is not evenn on this website so no one has read it.
  4. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    hiya this is such a good start i think i'll go yell at you to post right now...



    lol jazzie
  5. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    i liked the story with the previous author and i think it's in capable hands with you KylieKenobi. i look forward to more.:)
  6. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Great start! Looking forward to more! :D
  7. americantragedy Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2005
    star 3
    hmm, sounds cool. i'm not much on before fics but i'll stick around to see what happens.
    -mia-
  8. Star_Drifter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 18, 2005
    star 3
    "I was 13 the year the war started."

    [face_thinking] And Amie is fifteen now...

    Much, I suspect, has happened in those two years... :D

    Can't wait to find out more! [face_batting]
  9. padawanlissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
  10. Courtney_Solo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 4
    Great job, padawan! I would suggest getting a beta (*hint*) *cough* me... *cough*

    Anyways, I would LOVE to keep track of this. Do you send out PMs, Kylie?

    Your Proud Master,

    ~Courtney_Solo~
  11. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
  12. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
    Thanks to everyone who replied!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the next post!


    It was a terrible war, bloody and miserable. In my home world, there was four Calans. THey were groups of people who lived together, and followed the same customs. My mother had been a Daa, my Father a Sahn, and my best friend Eli's family were all Kishis. They had lived in peace for 100,000,000,000 years. But now they had started an argument, a stupid one which ruined the peace of the planet.My life which had been stable for so long, was being turned inside out by this crisis. Fear was everywhere. You could practically smell it, mixed with the scent of suffering and death. My sister had publicly opposed my father and moved in with my mother at the War base of the Daa. Now i was being told to choose a place to live, as we could not all live together in one place anymore. I had no idea what to choose. So for now i just traveled between the two bases.I loved my mom and dad equally, and couldnt imagine not seeing the other one, ever again. i just wished that i was a Jedi, so i could resolve this terrible tragedy peacefully without anyone getting hurt.

    One day, ecxiting news came. The jedi were sending 8 representetives from their Temple to help us sort out our problems. The day they were set to arrive, i eagerly rushed up to the spaceport, hoping to catch a glimpse of them. The door of the transport opened, and 8 people got out. Last was a shortish, young looking boy with light brown hair and blue eyes. My blue eyes. A long braid extended very long. I knew the second i saw him that this was my twin brother, Obi-Wan.

    I was almost afraid to face him, but then i told myself, Amie, he's your twin! Just because hes a jedi doesnt mean that he won't be just as happy to see you as you are to see him. So i gathered my courage and walked towards him. He was standing next to a blue skinned girl who looked way younger then him. THey were holding hnads and talking quetly. On his other side was a tall man who had long hair. They obviously had a bond between them. I heard him say, "Come, My Padawan." And then the girl said " Oh Obi im so glad that my first mission is with you!". I felt a pang. He was very close to this girl, closer to her than he would probably ever be to me. But i walked towards him and said " Hey Obi-Wan, welcome home"
  13. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
  14. padawanlissa Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2005
    star 4
  15. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    cool, you updated!:)
    very nice update too! i loved at the end Obi being sent to his old home....
    Amie's reaction at seeing him was written very well. it captures nicely what her feeling probably would be in that sitution..
    i look forward to more!=D=
  16. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    Ky, good jobb!!!!!! o and i know this isnt the place to put this :) but congrats on wining the young author award at skewl! Lets have a round of applause for Kylie, THe YOung author of our school!!!!!!

    Ky, WHen r u go/ing to update???
  17. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
    Sorry for nott updating in forever, i had major writers block ,And this is probably terrible, but oh well.

    Those blue eyes stared at me. " Who are you?", he asked in a curious but not overly interested voice. I was shocked! He didnt know his own sister? I had his eyes, and the female version of his voice! It was obvious we were related! I wanted to cry, but i didn't. Instead i just said, " Don't you reconize me??? I'm your sister, Amie! We're twins!!". Now his eyes had traces of confusion. " Exscuse me, but i don;t have a sister. YOu must be mistaken. Now we need to talk to our contact on this planet. Do you know Rylen Kyoul???". I was once again shocked. My heart filled with pain. So, i'm sure, did my eyes. " Yes, i know Rylen" i said, trying to keep my pain and dissapointment from my voice. He is of the Kishii clan, and i am forbidden to speak to anyone from the clan. However, i can direct you to the Kishii base." I fought to keep the tears from falling, and I wanted to scream " Obi Obi Obi i love you youre my brother i'm so proud of you!!!". But i was interrupted by the blue skinned girl. She put her arm around my brother and whispered to him " What's wrong?"

    Even from my position 20 feet away, i could still hear Obi-Wan;s response. " It's that strange girl. She scares me! I dont think i could trust her. She;s going to show us to our contact, but what if she leads us into a trap? Bant, she's like delusianal!! She thinks we are twins!!! I am an only child!! And my home planet is Coruscant!!" .The girl hugged him and whispered something i couldn't heear. They both laughed and she smiled at him, a bright, adorable grin. It was the ugliest smile i had ever seen. I hated this girl with all my soul and heart. Not able to take it anymore, i turned and ran, only stopping to wipe the tears out of my already fogging eyes.
  18. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
  19. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
  20. KylieKenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2005
    star 1
    :_| UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! upp uu PLEASE???
  21. kenobiwanobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2005
    star 3
  22. Courtney_Solo Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 23, 2005
    star 4
    I'm still enjoying this! :D *waits for more*
  23. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    * this is kylies writing; im only posting it for her

    I ran all the way back to my home, receiving several odd looks and some frightened ones. The way I was running, some people thought that there had been an attack. I wore the colors of a Sahn since i was still living with my father, so they assumed the attack had been from the Kishiis, our main enemy. People all around me panicked, except for the Kishiis, who just worried that their families were not important enough to be told about minor attacks. I felt kind of bad for worrying everyone, but i was so emotionally distraught at the time that I didn't care. All i had ever wanted was to see my brother again (and be a Jedi, of course). Then, resolutely, I stopped running. I walked over to the anxious people. " Nothing is wrong. There is no attack. Everything is all right."
    I was the one who wanted to be a Jedi! Jedi had to control their emotions, and I certainly wasn?t doing that now. I knew that now, if ever, was the perfect time to show how good of a Jedi I would make. So I forced myself to turn around and walk calmly back to Obi-Wan, the tall man, the blue skinned girl, and the other Jedi clustered around them. ? I?m sorry, I had something to do I forgot about. Follow me, we will go to the Kishii base.
    Obi-Wan shot a nervous glance back at the girl, who I had finally figured out, was Calamarian. She gave him a reassuring glance. ?Don?t worry, I?m sure she?s fine. Even if she is a little touched in the head?. With the Jedi behind me, we walked to the base. I was careful not to show the colors on the front of my robe, which all citizens of my home world had to wear. When we reached the base, I politely stepped to the side and allowed them to pass. The four adult Jedi went to the side and talked for a moment. Then they came back and informed the four younger Jedi that they would have to stay outside. I was thrilled. This was my opportunity to make small talk with the Jedi. Find out what their life was really like.
    ? Obi-Wan, let?s stand over here? said another one of the Jedi, a tallish girl with blonde hair in a short style. I knew that all the boys on the planet would find her stunning. I wondered if she was Obi?s girlfriend. I walked over to where they were standing. ? Look, I?m sorry for frightening you. But I want to get to know some Jedi.? I smiled brightly. ?I?m Amie. Amie Kenobi.? Obi gasped. ? Is that really your name??
  24. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
  25. Force-sensitiveLyn23 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 27, 2005
    star 1
    ok. I just reread this and realized its bad. Oh well. here goes.

    "Yeah, so? I was past feeling angry or sad, now i was just going to try to act emotionless.

    " Just, that?s my last name. Kenobi. "

    There was an awkward silence, while Obi stared at me.

    " Now that you mention it, our eyes do look kind of the same "

    I nodded awkwardly. "Uh huh"

    " No. It?s not possible. Subject closed. So, uh.."

    He was getting a little tongue-tied. To tell the truth, I was too. I can't believe it. After all this fantasizing about this moment, we can't even have a one-minute conversation without a 2-minute silence.

    ? So, uh, what?s it like being a Jedi?

    I could?ve punched myself for such a stupid question. He doesn?t know what to say!!

    ? Well, it?s, I don?t know, my life?

    Then I blurted out something I really regret.

    ? Is she your girlfriend?? I asked, pointing to the blonde girl.

    Obi looked at her with an embarrassed look. ? No, of course not. Jedi are forbidden to love. We?re just friends. Yeah.?

    I kind of wanted to pursue the subject. He was turning red though, and I didn?t want to make our first meeting anymore weird than it had to be.

    ? I never knew I had a sister. I never knew anything about my family. No one ever tells me anything! What if I wanted to know about my sister? What if I wanted to know about my home world?? ?

    The blue skinned girl , the blonde girl, and the other boy looked surprised at his outburst.
    ? Obi, come here for a second?

    He walked toward the blonde girl and she whispered something in his ear. Then, looking more awkward than ever, the two walked off together, arm in arm.

    Yup. There is defiantly something going on with them. I bet they are going out.

    When they came back, he looked at me. ? I?m sorry. I believe we are related now. I just didn?t want my perfect life to change. I didn?t want to think that there was something other than my life as a Jedi. I just want things to stay the same.?

    I tried to look comforting. ? Obi, things won?t be different just because we met. I mean, we?re never going to see each other again. We have different lives. Don?t; worry,?

    He didn?t look very reassured, but tried to smile at me.

    ? Amie, I want to meet our mom and dad. I have a great dad now, and he?s inside that building negotiating, but how can it hurt to have two dads??

    I was hoping he?d want to meet them. But there is one problem.

    ? Um, Obi-Wan, we can?t meet both of them. You see, they are from two different calans and they don?t really talk right now. Technically, I?m not really even allowed to visit my dad, because of the stupid war.?


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