With Love Comes Pain (JA/Angst)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Jedi_Laura_Kenobi, Jul 31, 2001.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Jedi_Laura_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 2001
    star 5
    With Love Comes Pain
    By: Jedi_Laura_Kenobi
    Disclaimer: As much as I hate to admit it? I do not own Star Wars ? George Lucas does! I am making no money whatsoever on this story! It?s just for fun! I do, however, own this story and any unrecognizable characters, planets, etc. that I created for this story. Please do not use them without my consent.
    Author?s Note: ?* ? *? represents thoughts, and ?/// ? ///? represents Force communication.
    Summary: When a mission goes dreadfully wrong, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn must deal with the possibility of loosing his Padawan Learner?

    This is the first fanfic that I have started to post here... I hope at least someone likes it! Here's the first part...


    ~*~*~*~


    ?Get to the ship, Master! I?m right behind you!?

    Qui-Gon Jinn could barely hear his sixteen-year-old Padawan Learner. Obi-Wan?s voice, although he was yelling, was drowned out by the sounds of the building exploding around the two Jedi.

    With a quick turn of his head, he saw that Obi-Wan was truly directly behind him, running as fast as his young legs could take him to keep up with his Master?s long stride. Fire burned all around them, making it increasingly hard to take in a breath and making the air so hot that sweat poured from the two Jedi like water from a sink.

    The ?peaceful negotiations? had taken a turn for the worse, and the building had been set on fire. The two Jedi had managed to get the politicians out of the building, but the only exit at the front of the building had collapsed before they could get out themselves. They had quickly decided to try and get to their ship. Qui-Gon could feel his Padawan?s worry, and shouted out directions to him.

    ?Stay close, Obi-Wan! Keep your senses alert!?

    If Obi-Wan had said something in return, Qui-Gon couldn?t hear it. There was a sudden crashing, and the world seemed to be collapsing from all directions. Turning around to make sure Obi-Wan was still behind him (which he was), Qui-Gon raced into the ship, and closed the boarding ramp. Yelling orders to his Padawan, he guided the ship out of the hanger and into the air. Turning slightly to tell Obi-Wan to make sure he was strapped in, Qui-Gon stopped short.

    Obi-Wan was nowhere in sight. A quick scan with the Force confirmed Qui-Gon?s greatest fear.

    His Padawan was still down in the burning building.


    ~*~*~*~


    Obi-Wan Kenobi whirled around just in time to see Qui-Gon lift the ship and pilot it out of the hanger. Fear knifed into him, but he forced his racing heart to remain steady. Qui-Gon must have thought that he was still behind him. In fact, Obi-Wan had had to stop to avoid being crushed ? just a few feet away from the ramp. Mentally swearing at himself in every language he knew, Obi-Wan looked quickly around. The hanger was like a hell ? blazing with flames, billowing smoke, and dropping fiery rock all around him at every opportunity. Obi-Wan was furious at himself for getting into such a potentially deadly situation.

    * Sith, Kenobi? what a wonderful mess you?ve gotten yourself into. Now how to get out of here? *

    Pulling on the Force like a lifeline, the young man stumbled through the scorching hanger, coughing and gagging from the smoke. * There must be a door or window somewhere? *

    But he had no more time to search. The building could withstand no more, and it collapsed on top of the young Jedi ? causing him a moment of excruciating pain and then plunging him into darkness.


    ~*~*~*~


    Horrified beyond comprehension, Qui-Gon Jinn watched as the building collapsed ? as though in slow motion ? crushing his apprentice? his son.

    ?OBI-WAN!!!!!!!!? The scream tore from his throat before he could stop himself. He felt a moment of intense pain from his Padawan, and then nothing. Alarm and anguish pulsed through his veins like an erupting volcano. ?No! Obi-Wan??

    A decision came quickly ? he would go down and find his apprentice. He rushed to the comm. unit and dialed for the temple healers. As the fac
  2. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Please continue..... NOW!!!!!!!!
  3. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    I agree. Write more, soon.
  4. HannahBates Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 20, 2001
    star 1
    More! I want more!

    Great job Laura! As a new writer I know how important the first few replies are. Let me be the one of the first to say that I look forward to read all that you have to write.

    Keep writing. You have me on the edge of my seat. Poor Obi. Burns are nasty things. And I loved how Qui-Gon never even considered that Obi might me dead, he just called up the medics and told them he was coming in.

    Post soon and often.
  5. Obi-wan's Padawan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2000
    star 1
    Of course I want to read more!! :)That was a very good post and I am looking forward to reading more of your story!
  6. Red_Forever Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 19, 2001
    star 2
    I like this. A most excellent beginning, if you ask me. Keep posting, and keep up the good work!!
  7. JediCandy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2000
    star 3
    Oooohhhh! Do you know?! If we add marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers we would have an Obi-S'more!


    JediCandy
  8. Cow_Girl Chapter Rep Niagara ON, CA

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2001
    star 5
    Ouch!
    I can't tell what what hurt worse, The fire or being crushed?
    Good start, keep it up! :)
  9. Sara_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 7
  10. Jedi_Laura_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 2001
    star 5
    Wow, the response I've gotten so far is better than I expected! Maybe I'm not as sure of my abilities as I should be... I'm my own worst critic! Thanks to everyone for the kind words! It means a lot to me!

    Hannah: Yeah, I thought that Qui-Gon's first thought would be that he had to save Obi-Wan or if he was dead then at least get the body. If there is even a chance that Obi-Wan is going to be alive, Qui-Gon is going to find out for sure! Is this post soon enough? :D

    Cow_Girl: I'm not sure which part hurts worse... I guess I'll leave that up to your own imagination! :)

    And for everyone else: THANK YOU so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story! it means a lot to me! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! :D

    Here's the next part...

    Enjoy!

    ~*~*~*~

    Pain.

    White-hot, blinding pain.

    Obi-Wan was only aware of the pain that coursed through his entire body ? from his toes to his eyeballs. He could not think clearly, he could not see at all, and he certainly could not move. He felt broken and crushed. There was a steady pressure on top of him, and from all sides. Trying to reach the Force through the pain, he sent out the strongest call for help that he could muster ? only to realize it wasn?t even strong enough to reach his Master.

    * Great job, Kenobi. Now you?ve gone and gotten yourself injured. A fine Jedi you?ll make? *

    And all he could do was wait. Wait and let the Force work in whatever ways it saw fit. He was not scared of death? only wondering why it was so elusive. The pain coursing through his body was becoming steadily more extreme?

    After what seemed like years, he felt the pressure give way, and light pierced into his already pounding head, causing him to cry out in pain and try to turn to avoid the light ? a bad move, for his entire body seemed to explode with pain and he screamed at the top of his lungs. * Gods, it hurts? *

    A quiet, recognizable voice brought him back to reality ? at least slightly.

    ?Padawan, if you can hear me do not try and move. You are severely injured. The building collapsed on you. Do not move.? Qui-Gon?s voice was laced tight with concern, and Obi-Wan wondered what he looked like. Was he covered in blood? Was he burned? Was he missing a limb (which wouldn?t be surprising, he thought sarcastically)? He decided all of the above had probably happened ? and he groaned softly.

    ?Obi-Wan, I?m going to use the Force to levitate you to the ship. It may hurt like you can?t imagine, but I cannot leave you here. You need to see the Temple healers.?

    * There?s the biggest understatement of the year? *

    With the sarcastic thought, Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut. * By the Force, this is going to be intense? *

    As the levitation began, Obi-Wan couldn?t stop screaming. Surely someone was stabbing him ? over and over and over ? the pain was unbearable. By the time the pair reached the ship Obi-Wan was screaming so loud he could barely think. As he felt himself being lowered onto a cot (or something else, he couldn?t be sure), the pain became too much for him to handle and he let himself fall into blissful unconsciousness.


    ~*~*~*~


    Qui-Gon Jinn was usually a very patient man.

    Not today.

    His apprentice had been in the emergency surgical room for almost 20 hours. There had been no sound, not movement, no nothing from the room since the procedure had started. No indication on Obi-Wan?s condition. The healers had rushed him in there as soon as Qui-Gon had landed the ship, saying they would take care of him. Kitla was one of his best friends and one of the best healers in the temple, but he couldn?t help but worry. His son was in there!

    Suddenly, for the first time in 20 hours, a healer apprentice came practically running out of the room. Qui-Gon thought he was going to be sick.

    She was covered in blood.

    He could tell she was going to try and avoid him, so he leapt to his feet and stepped into her path.

    ?How is
  11. ApprenticeM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    star 4
    You have no idea how happy I was when I saw that you were posting this here!! I started reading it at ff.n, but I haven't been able to get on there for a week!! And I'd think the building falling on him would hurt more....But any Obi torture is good torture :D Now post again soon!! :)
  12. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Dang, okay, this is intense. I'm dying for more to be posted, but I'll be patient.
  13. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    WOW Laura!!! This is wonderful!! Hard to keep up with all the JA stories right now, but I am trying. Hope to read more soon!! Nice work!
  14. KADI-WAN_KENOBI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2000
    star 4
    I'd be surprised if anyone started reading and did stop. This is great. Can't wait to see what happens.
  15. KenobisGirl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2001
    star 4
    I too, have been having problems w/ ff.net... Wow.. this is good stuff! I am gripping the armrests tightly when I'm not typing! That was sooo intense! More please!
  16. Broken-Sabre Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2001
    star 2
    Please,please, please continue. A great start. :) Will definatley continue reading this one, I'm hooked. :D
  17. Obi the Kid Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 13, 2000
    star 4
    FF.NET is still down guys. I think the main page is up, but they are still working on getting all the other sections up!
  18. Jedi_Laura_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 2001
    star 5
    Hey, I just had to reply and thank all of you who have been commenting! You are all wonderful!

    Yes, I have noticed that FF.N is down, too! Darn! Hopefully they'll get it up and running soon! :)

    I'll post another part to this a little later today!

    Thanks again!

    :D
  19. Luke_Starkiller Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2001
    star 4
    Laura, this is a GREAT story so far! Keep it up!!!!
  20. Jedi_Laura_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 23, 2001
    star 5
    Well, here is the next part! Thank you to everyone who has been commenting!

    ApprenticeM: [face_blush] Thanks for the enthusiasm! I'm glad you like it! :)

    For Everyone Else: Thanks for the encouraging remarks! I hope this post is agreeable! :D

    This post is rather short... the next post will be longer...

    I guess this part could (or should) be considered a 'tear jerker'... be warned! I guess what I really should say is that it is kind of supposed to be a ?tear jerker? although I?m not sure how well I succeeded! :D

    :: holds breath ::

    Here goes...


    ~*~*~*~


    Qui-Gon was beside himself with grief. It stabbed into his soul like a vibro-ax. There were so many things he had left unsaid? he had taken Obi-Wan for granted, assumed that he could ?tell Obi-Wan tomorrow?. Now he would never be able to let his apprentice know everything he had ever wanted to tell him?

    ?Oh, Obi-Wan,? Qui-Gon?s voice was little more than a whisper, ?I?m so sorry? there are so many things I need to tell you. I have been a fool. I took you for granted? and now I?ll never have the chance to tell you??

    Crying softly, he reached over and took one of his apprentice?s small hands is both of his large ones.

    ?I love you Obi-Wan. You are the closest thing I?ve ever had to a son? you mean so much more to me than you will ever know??

    Qui-Gon was all but sobbing by now, and he fought to control his raging emotions.

    ?I should have told you, but because I failed to do so I have to say the words to a nearly dead body. I let my pride get the best of me Padawan. I know you sometimes doubt yourself because I do not praise very much ? I don?t let you feel the love and pride that swells within me whenever you are near. You have absolutely no reason to doubt yourself, my Obi-Wan. You are the best Padawan ? the best son ? I could ever ask for? I can?t believe I?m going to have to go on without you??

    Lowering his head to rest on his Padawan?s small hand, he continued.

    ?You are very confident, brave, and kind. Although your selfless nature often landed you in trouble, I would not trade it for anything. You are so wonderful, Obi-Wan? don?t leave me? please? Obi-Wan??

    He couldn?t control his emotions any longer. With a quiet sob, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn let himself cry, as he hadn?t done since he was a Padawan himself?


    ~*~*~*~


    ?? pride? Padawan?doubt ?love? Obi-Wan? son? without you?don?t leave me? Obi-Wan??

    Obi-Wan was straining to keep the sound of his Master?s voice close. What was he talking about? The pain in the elder Jedi?s words was clear and surprising. Obi-Wan could only hear bits and pieces of his Master?s soft dialogue. What was Qui-Gon talking about?

    Suddenly, Obi-Wan heard a sound he had never heard before. A sound that struck fear and pain into his very soul.

    The sound of his Master?s soft crying echoed through Obi-Wan like a tidal wave.

    * Why is he crying? He needs me? *

    The thought was like the crack of a whip. With all of his strength, Obi-Wan reached out to the presence that was Qui-Gon Jinn.

    He began to ?pull? himself toward it.


    ~*~*~*~


    One last thing: If Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan ever say anything about 'loving' each other (as Qui-Gon did above) I am implying a FATHER/SON relationship. Just thought I'd make that known...

    Yeah, I know that was short? sorry! The next post will be longer! :) Any questions, etc. ? post them (or you can PM me?) and I will do my best to answer! Thanks! :D
  21. ApprenticeM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    star 4
    :_| That was so touching......kinda reminded me of the Garth Brooks song, " If Tomorrow Never Comes" (Great song too.) Post again soon!!
  22. JKTRAINING Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2001
    star 4
    Dittto what ApprenticeM said. I was thinking of the very same song. If I don't forget about this, abong the million and 2 things I have to do, I'll deffinatly finish reading it. Great job.
  23. JediCandy Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2000
    star 3
    I was reminded of an older song by Anne Murray that is titled, "You Needed Me."

    Here are the lyrics:


    I cried a tear, you wiped it dry
    I was confused, you cleared my mind
    I sold my soul, you bought it back for me
    And held me up and gave me dignity
    Somehow you needed me

    You gave me strength to stand alone again
    To face the world out on my own again
    You put me high upon a pedestal
    So high that I could almost see eternity
    You needed me, you needed me

    And I can't believe it's you
    I can't believe it's true
    I needed you and you were there
    And I'll never leave, why should I leave?
    I'd be a fool 'cause I finally found someone who really cares

    You held my hand when it was cold
    When I was lost you took me home
    You gave me hope when I was at the end
    And turned my lies back into truth again
    You even called me "friend"

    You gave me strength to stand alone again
    To face the world out on my own again
    You put me high upon a pedestal
    So high that I could almost see eternity
    You needed me, you needed me

    You needed me, you needed me



  24. Obi-wan's Padawan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2000
    star 1
    That was a very touching post and it made me think of the Garth Brooks song too! I am looking forward to reading more of this great story!!
  25. Cheryl_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 6, 2001
    star 4
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.