Before Within the Heart (A gift for Jennifer_Lyn - Qui & Obi mush!)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kestrel_Kenobi, Jan 7, 2007.

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  1. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Title: Within the Heart
    Author: Kestrel_Kenobi
    Timeframe: Pre-TPM
    Characters: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
    Genre: Sentimental mush ;)
    Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan take a break.
    Notes: I?m a bit rusty (and didn?t use a beta!) so apologies for bad writing, grammar, spelling, etc?all mistakes our mine (but so are all the good parts! ;) )

    An extremely (embarrassingly) late b?day fic for my lovely friend Jennifer_Lyn. Many apologies m?dear and I hope you enjoy! *mega hugs* [:D]

    I also have to thank Nienna (my drabble partner-in-crime!) ? For her help in inspiring this piece and for the words circle, sparkle(d) and transport. :p

    ****

    [image=http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l199/kestrel_kenobi/quiobi76.jpg]

    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart ? Helen Keller.


    ?Well, Obi-Wan,? Qui-Gon glanced at his Padawan. ?What do you think??

    Taking a deep breath Obi-Wan looked out over the warm golden sand and the blue frothy waves that lay just beyond it, bright sunlight fell upon everything making it sparkle and shimmer.

    ?It?s wonderful,? he replied, somewhat lost for words. Qui-Gon smiled and placed a hand on Obi-Wan?s shoulder.

    ?Feel free to go and explore,? the older Jedi said, looking down at his apprentice.

    ?Really?? Obi-Wan asked cautiously. ?Wouldn?t you like me to unpack first??

    ?I didn?t realise I came across as such a tyrant Padawan,? Qui-Gon chuckled, and Obi-Wan blushed and looked away. ?No, this is your sabbatical as much as mine. You have twenty-four hours to do as you wish Obi-Wan.?

    Obi-Wan gulped. ?Perhaps we should decide where we are going to do our lightsaber practice first or which meditations you?d like me to work on,? he suggested hurriedly.

    Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at the boy. ?That?s how you wish to spend your time here??

    ?Um?well,? Obi-Wan stammered.

    ?Go,? Qui-Gon gave him a gentle nudge towards the door. ?Relax. And if you?ll excuse me I?m going to prepare some lunch.?

    The young boy starred after his Master open mouthed. Twenty-four hours to himself! Walking to the door of the small wood cabin, he looked back over his shoulder to check that Qui-Gon wasn?t there waiting to call him back. To tell him it was a joke. The room was empty. Without further ado Obi-Wan pushed the door open and stepped out onto the porch. Stopping only to remove his boots he ignored the steps and jumped straight onto the sand, it felt deliciously warm between his toes and he took a few steps forward, smiling to himself at the simple pleasure. He began to walk towards the water, but then hesitated and glanced back over his shoulder towards the cabin...

    ****

    Stepping from his sleeping quarters Qui-Gon felt more relaxed than he had done in a long time. He had changed to a simple pale tunic and loose trousers and tied his hair out of the way. Moving to the kitchen he was grateful for the stone floor and how cool it felt under his bare feet. Humming quietly the Jedi contentedly lingered over the lunch preparations, after chopping and lightly steaming the brightly colored vegetables he cut the local fruits they had bought into large, juicy chunks occasionally taking bites as he did so. The sweet juices ran down his chin, making his beard sticky and he wiped his face carefully feeling pleased that they had stopped at the local market before coming on to the cabin. After filling a jug with cold lemberry juice he carried the dishes into the other room and set them on the low table where they would eat. The cabin was sparsely furnished and the main living room contained just cushions and a table, but that was all they needed. Qui-Gon stepped back, satisfied with his work. Looking up he glanced through the open doorway and was surprised to see his Padawan sitting on the small porch. Quietly, he stepped outside.

    ?Obi-Wan??

    The young man looked up.

    ?What are you doing? I thought you were exploring??

    ?Well, I was?I did
  2. obi_webb Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2005
    star 4
    kes, that was awesome=D=
    always good to see you writing something!

    Slowly, almost shyly at first the stars had begun to appear in the dark sky, and then suddenly there was a whole blanket of lights blinking at them. They reflected and danced on the sea that was rhythmically rolling on to the shore, creating its own music. A salty breeze blew across the two Jedi and as Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan?s head gradually relax onto his shoulder he realised that he was asleep.

    The Jedi Master smiled and looked up at the stars - feeling the moment.


    you really do a great job painting the picture of that scene. it's one of those things that i automatically picture in my head as i'm reading, and that doesn't happen to me all the time unless it's described especially well.
    the end was perfect too! especially since you showed so well that obi was fighting relaxation at every oppurtunity!


    and happy late birthday to jennifer lyn!
  3. Jennifer_Lyn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2005
    star 4
    [face_blush] thank you so much for the lovely, lovely gift!

    it's beautiful, such wonderful descriptions and you know how much i adore food scenes!

    wonderful characterization. i love how obi just couldn't relax without some serious nudging and qui's quiet grace was present through the whole piece.

    lovely work, hon. i adore it.
  4. Valairy Scot Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Ah, that was sweet and nice, I loved it.

    Obi-Wan leant over the rock pool he had discovered and swirled his hand in the circle of water, lifting his fingers he watched as the drops sparkled in the sunlight.

    Qui-Gon appeared beside him and quietly sat down before speaking.

    ?The transport will be here soon.?

    Obi-Wan nodded in reply. ?I know Master.?

    ?Have you been meditating?? Qui-Gon asked noting his Padawan?s serene composure.

    Obi-Wan shook his head, ?No,? he looked up at Qui-Gon grinning. ?I just figured out what it?s like to live in the moment.?

    Qui-Gon tilted his head at Obi-Wan and returned the smile. ?I?m glad,? he replied simply.
    [face_love]
  5. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Oh my, that was so very... sweet and delightful. A fantastic gift! :D :D
  6. KELIA Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2005
    star 6
    Awww?that was absolutely lovely.

    How amusing poor Obi didn?t know how to relax but I?m glad to see he was able to before the trip ended.

    Great job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  7. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    Awwwwwwwww! :D :D *grins like an idiot* Not much more to say. Great job!
  8. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    I'm going to go ahead and echo everyone else... Awww! :D It's amazing what a little drabbling can do for the muse, eh? I'm so glad you wrote this. To use Qui-Gon's words, it's perfect. My heart's in a puddle right now. [face_love]

    It's unfortunate that Obi-Wan doesn't know how to relax, but it's believable. It seems like Jedi adolescents are rushed into adulthood much too early in some cases, by the responsibilities put on them and the struggles and oppression they witness on missions. I loved the part where Obi-Wan is laying on the rock and he tells Qui-Gon he's living in the moment. I wish there was a smiley to show how that scene made me feel. A peaceful kind of happiness. Contentment? Oh well. I'm rambling now.

    Lovely story, Kes! =D= You need to stoke that muse more often. :p

    ~ Your-partner-in-crime. [face_cowboy]
  9. Magenta_Moonshadow Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 14, 2005
    star 3
    I'll repeat what everyone else said...

    Awwwwwwwwww!! :)

    Well done! I loved it! =D=
  10. Luna_Nightshade Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jan 25, 2006
    star 5
    Awwww...

    Now that was a sweet vacation.

    Much =D=, Kes--I'm very happy to see you writing again. I knew it was coming! :D So sweet... loved it!
  11. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    obi - [:D] thanks for your lovely comments m'dear. Glad you enjoyed it.

    Jennibean!! - [:D] So happy you like this. Yes, the food scenes were worked extra hard on just for you! ;) I think I adore them almost as much. Thank you and more [:D]

    Valairy_Scot - :D thanks for reading and commenting!

    Leona - Hey. Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed it! :D

    Kelia - Thank you :)

    Luminara_Kenobi - Hello! and thanks for your kind words. :)

    Nienna! - my [face_skull] drabble partner! Thank you for helping to nudge my muse....and so happy you like the finished version! [:D]

    Magenta- Hi! Hope you're feeling better? Thanks so much for reading! :)

    Luna! - [:D] Good to see you! Thank you m'dear. Glad you liked it!
  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Haha! Obi-Wan has trouble taking a break from his usual routine; that's so much like him. And so much like Qui-Gon to try to kick him out of it, too!

  13. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    That's a nice little story. I like them, thank you
  14. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    ardavenport - :D thank you!

    earlybird-obi-wan - Hello and thanks - glad you enjoyed it! :)

  15. Star-Foozle Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 24, 2006
    star 2
    Ah, that was lovely, Kes. What a beautiful little vig.

    Obi-Wan leant over the rock pool he had discovered and swirled his hand in the circle of water, lifting his fingers he watched as the drops sparkled in the sunlight.

    Qui-Gon appeared beside him and quietly sat down before speaking.

    ?The transport will be here soon.?

    Obi-Wan nodded in reply. ?I know Master.?

    ?Have you been meditating?? Qui-Gon asked noting his Padawan?s serene composure.

    Obi-Wan shook his head, ?No,? he looked up at Qui-Gon grinning. ?I just figured out what it?s like to live in the moment.?

    Qui-Gon tilted his head at Obi-Wan and returned the smile. ?I?m glad,? he replied simply.


    [face_love]

    Very nice work. =D=
  16. Noelie Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2005
    star 4
    Kestrel: I can't believe I didn't read this before! I don't know where my brain isn't these days. .. or is.

    Well whatever. This was darling. Poor padawan that can't relax! He is too young to start that kind of thing

    I am glad he was able to figure it out a bit.

    [face_love]
  17. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    star-foozle - :) thank you for your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    Noelie - [:D] Thanks for stopping by. I'm happy you liked it!
  18. JadeSolo Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2002
    star 6
    (Qui-Gon had left the dirty plates on the table much to Obi-Wan?s horror)

    He's just living in the moment, that's all. [face_laugh] I love how you show that Obi-Wan has trouble relaxing, and then you end it so perfectly with a Jedi Temple sand castle. [face_love]
  19. Jedi_Tigris Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 7, 2005
    star 4
    Awww, that's so sweet! Love how Obi-Wan was so confused when Qui-Gon ordered him to relax for a day, though that's kind of sad too. Jedi really are forced to grow up so quickly. Wonderful vig! =D=
  20. Kestrel_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    JadeSolo - :D Thanks for your comments - glad you enjoyed it!

    Jedi_Tigris - Love how Obi-Wan was so confused when Qui-Gon ordered him to relax for a day, though that's kind of sad too. It is isn't it? :( Thank you so much for reading and commenting. :)
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