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Without you - A Tahiri poem

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003.

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  1. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    ~
    This came up one night and I wrote it down:
    ~


    Without you


    Without you my heart is naked
    Falling into the shadows of my soul


    Without you my heart is chained
    With the key lost long ago


    Without you my heart is stained
    Shattered with pieces of my past with you


    Without you my heart has borders
    With no chance of fading at all


    Without you I?m lost
    Forever vanished in my minds memory of you


    -Fin-
     
    Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003
    #1
  2. Jade-Walker

    Jade-Walker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Poor Tahiri! :(
    Good job, Elfsheen! :D
     
    Jade-Walker, Mar 4, 2003
    #2
  3. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Thanks for noticing Jade_Walker!
     
    Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003
    #3
  4. Eowyn_Jade

    Eowyn_Jade Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 14, 2003
    :_| Oh poor Tahiri! Beautifully done Elfsheen!

    UP!

    EJ
     
    Eowyn_Jade, Mar 4, 2003
    #4
  5. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Also thanks for reading Eowyn_Jade! Sad it is indeed.
     
    Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003
    #5
  6. darth_boy

    darth_boy Jedi Padawan star 7

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2001
    Nice

    ============
    Comic Book Guy
     
    darth_boy, Mar 5, 2003
    #6
  7. AERYN_SUN

    AERYN_SUN Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 1, 2001
    Without you my heart is naked
    Falling into the shadows of my soul

    ...

    Without you I?m lost
    Forever vanished in my minds memory of you


    those are my two favorite stanzas. beautiful poem.

    ~aeryn
     
    AERYN_SUN, Mar 5, 2003
    #7
  8. Duke-Dogwalker

    Duke-Dogwalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2002
    Without you my heart is stained
    Shattered with pieces of my past with you

    moving.
     
    Duke-Dogwalker, Mar 5, 2003
    #8
  9. Jek_Windu

    Jek_Windu Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 26, 2003
    That was beautiful, Elfsheen, I can't wait 'till you write a full-lenght fic!! :D
     
    Jek_Windu, Mar 5, 2003
    #9
  10. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Thank you all for reading :) Moving and sad this peom was meant to be!
     
    Elfsheen, Mar 6, 2003
    #10
  11. C-3PX

    C-3PX Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 2, 2002
    Great. I like seeing differant mediums used. :) Not just all first person stories. :p
     
    C-3PX, Mar 8, 2003
    #11
  12. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Thanks! ;) No, no not at all ;)
     
    Elfsheen, Mar 9, 2003
    #12
  13. Stormsong

    Stormsong Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2003
    To my master I must answer, to obay is my duty. Tell up this is her wish ;)
     
    Stormsong, Mar 10, 2003
    #13
  14. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    A trusty sock I have ;)
     
    Elfsheen, Mar 11, 2003
    #14
  15. Rogue_Even

    Rogue_Even Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 22, 2002
    Oh, poor Tahiri! :( Your poem is beautiful, though. Great work, Elfsheen. :)
     
    Rogue_Even, Mar 28, 2003
    #15
  16. SilverWander

    SilverWander Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2001
    Wow Thats just beatufil!
     
    SilverWander, May 10, 2003
    #16
  17. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Ohhh thanks Rogue_Even and SilverWanderer
     
    Elfsheen, May 10, 2003
    #17
  18. aelie

    aelie Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2003
    :_| so beautiful !

    me
     
    aelie, May 10, 2003
    #18
  19. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2003
    Thankies Aelie :)
     
    Elfsheen, May 12, 2003
    #19
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