Without you - A Tahiri poem

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003.

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  1. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    ~
    This came up one night and I wrote it down:
    ~


    Without you


    Without you my heart is naked
    Falling into the shadows of my soul


    Without you my heart is chained
    With the key lost long ago


    Without you my heart is stained
    Shattered with pieces of my past with you


    Without you my heart has borders
    With no chance of fading at all


    Without you I?m lost
    Forever vanished in my minds memory of you


    -Fin-
    Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003 at 7:11 AM
    #1

  2. Jade-Walker Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 21, 2002
    star 4
    Poor Tahiri! :(
    Good job, Elfsheen! :D
    Jade-Walker, Mar 4, 2003 at 11:19 AM
    #2

  3. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Thanks for noticing Jade_Walker!
    Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003 at 2:05 PM
    #3

  4. Eowyn_Jade Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 14, 2003
    star 4
    :_| Oh poor Tahiri! Beautifully done Elfsheen!

    UP!

    EJ
    Eowyn_Jade, Mar 4, 2003 at 2:37 PM
    #4

  5. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Also thanks for reading Eowyn_Jade! Sad it is indeed.
    Elfsheen, Mar 4, 2003 at 2:47 PM
    #5

  6. darth_boy Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2001
    star 7
    Nice

    ============
    Comic Book Guy
    darth_boy, Mar 5, 2003 at 6:43 AM
    #6

  7. AERYN_SUN Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 1, 2001
    star 5
    Without you my heart is naked
    Falling into the shadows of my soul

    ...

    Without you I?m lost
    Forever vanished in my minds memory of you


    those are my two favorite stanzas. beautiful poem.

    ~aeryn
    AERYN_SUN, Mar 5, 2003 at 7:28 AM
    #7

  8. Duke-Dogwalker Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2002
    star 4
    Without you my heart is stained
    Shattered with pieces of my past with you

    moving.
    Duke-Dogwalker, Mar 5, 2003 at 11:32 AM
    #8

  9. Jek_Windu Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jan 26, 2003
    star 4
    That was beautiful, Elfsheen, I can't wait 'till you write a full-lenght fic!! :D
    Jek_Windu, Mar 5, 2003 at 2:32 PM
    #9

  10. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Thank you all for reading :) Moving and sad this peom was meant to be!
    Elfsheen, Mar 6, 2003 at 7:02 AM
    #10

  11. C-3PX Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2002
    star 6
    Great. I like seeing differant mediums used. :) Not just all first person stories. :p
    C-3PX, Mar 8, 2003 at 4:33 PM
    #11

  12. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Thanks! ;) No, no not at all ;)
    Elfsheen, Mar 9, 2003 at 2:38 AM
    #12

  13. Stormsong Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2003
    To my master I must answer, to obay is my duty. Tell up this is her wish ;)
    Stormsong, Mar 10, 2003 at 1:14 PM
    #13

  14. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    A trusty sock I have ;)
    Elfsheen, Mar 11, 2003 at 1:48 PM
    #14

  15. Rogue_Even Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 22, 2002
    star 1
    Oh, poor Tahiri! :( Your poem is beautiful, though. Great work, Elfsheen. :)
    Rogue_Even, Mar 28, 2003 at 2:04 PM
    #15

  16. SilverWander Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2001
    star 4
    Wow Thats just beatufil!
    SilverWander, May 10, 2003 at 10:08 AM
    #16

  17. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Ohhh thanks Rogue_Even and SilverWanderer
    Elfsheen, May 10, 2003 at 1:06 PM
    #17

  18. aelie Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2003
    star 3
    :_| so beautiful !

    me
    aelie, May 10, 2003 at 4:28 PM
    #18

  19. Elfsheen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 9, 2003
    star 5
    Thankies Aelie :)
    Elfsheen, May 12, 2003 at 10:24 AM
    #19
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