Before - Legends "Wolf whelp", the story of a female clone, comment co-author & fanart 23rd Jan 2012

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by AzureAngel2, Dec 4, 2010.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    WOW so much happening in this long update.

    Lucien is fascinating, from loving man to dark side.
  2. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    You find him fascinating, dear bird, but there are also folk who find him nerve wrecking. He is a puzzle like the tom-cat of our neighbours.

    In the up-coming new fanfic "Cat litter", you will see even more sides of him. You will experience him with the eyes of Grianán. Be prepared!

    Something silly happened when I posted last night and one change of me ended up in two various double posts?!?


    Anyway, the update list looks this way:

    * swpants666
    * Gkikenny
    * earlybird-Obi-Wan
    * LadyMisty
    * Chilla
    * Fels_Goddess

    If anybody is on or of this list please let me know!

    Oh and I am on holidays between the 4th and the 12th July. I will not have any internet connection than. There are places in this world who do not provide such things. The German North Sea Coast with its holiday flats are one of them.
  3. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    So sorry I've fallen behind. Lovely updates! [:D]
  4. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    Indeed a lot of action and ?Luçien draws his energy from passion; an energy that is enhanced by emotion.?

    He is entrenched in the darkside.

    A beautiful long post.=D=
  5. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    There is no need to be sorry. I bet you were busy as hell, dear Fels. I am glad that you found the time to do so. Thank you. It means a lot to me. There are not much positive things happening in my life.

    Thanks, dear Gkilkenny. I wish I could offer more action this weekend, but there is a bunch of severe problems that I face and my editor cannot edit at present. Perhaps I can chat up an already busy pants.

    About the Dark Side, I wish that I would have it more inside me...

    ANYWAY, after having some fun time with a local street and theatre festival that lasted for 3 days, I can go on-line before my holidays start.

    Today I am happy as punch, because it was swpants666 who was so kind to up-date my latest chapter and NOT my Dutch husband.


    It is brilliant to have a real native who did some editing, because the Dutch and German comma rules are so different from the English. I learned a lot and remembered much stuff while I skimmed through her neat edited text.


    Everybody give a big applause to our pants. She is a darling angel.

    Here we go:


    The death of their father hit the serpent-spawn very hard. They did not wish anybody else to take care of the funeral arrangements. After the traditional wake for Agathos they gathered in the royal library. Nobody was to disturb them while they wrote speeches, poems or songs for their beloved father.

    Éleos was to join them, too. But before he went into seclusion, he told me: ?Note that Isabeau´s study is yours to rein until she returns.?

    ?Nice! My own base of operation for war games. Now I am really part of the family,? I commented dryly.

    ?A fovea centralis agent will lead you the way.?

    Éleos turned around to open the library doors, but was held up by one of his Force knights. In whispering tones they started talking to one another. I was too polite to listen in.

    A woman, wearing a tight secret service uniform, came towards me. I thought that I had seen her before. She had a very pretty face and long slender legs. At rural beauty contests she would always win the first price. Yet it was clear that there was much more under the pleasing façade that she had erected. ?Lady Ankou, if you please...?

    The Force knight poked Éleos in the ribs and my cousin let go of the door handles. ?It had to be you, Luna!? he cursed with a passion that was unusual for him.

    The agent sniggered. Her rosy tongue glided over her lips like a little snake, before she spoke. ?I sort of work here! It can happen that I end up with jobs that nobody else wants.?

    Éleos looked exhausted when he turned around. ?You deliberately changed the shift duties. Or [link=]Aranea[/link] did it for you.?

    The woman in question laughed with all her heart. ?Don´t ya think we have better things to do??

    ?I don´t know.? Éleos gave her such a hard look that it startled me. ?You TELL me!?

    The agent shrugged, showing him her open palms. ?Isa infected you with all her wild conspiracy theories. You need a shrink. Perhaps you should see....?

    ?[link=]Mora[/link]?? Éleos concluded bitterly. ?How convenient for you.?

    Her jade eyes sparkled like stars. ?Mora is our best. And recently you have been under enormous stress which...?

    ?It is not stress, Luna,? he explained. ?The four of you wear me out, bit by bit. Always plotting, always up to no good. Especially my little sister! That hurts the most!?

    ?You want to hurt,? came her aloof reply, ?This is why you left me for the Force. Which is fine because it gave my life a totally new cours
  6. Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4

    I hope your vacation goes well.
  7. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Again a gripping update with the events in Serpent Spawn being essential.=D=

    Have a nice vacation[face_dancing]
  8. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    ?You are still as beautiful as a peaceful sunset at high sea.?

    That sounds lovely.

    Have a great holiday.[:D]
  9. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Hi there, Misty! I am back, sun tanned and relaxed. The North Sea did me good. It was about 8 hours travelling to get up to the county of Schlewig-Holstein/ Germany and the peninsula of Eiderstedt. But it was worthwhile.

    I had it all, the over all. Storm, sun, a constant sea breeze, the tide, the vastness of the landscape, sand enough to annoy Anakin Skywalker, sheep, the locals called "Nordfriesen" and even two of my best friends driving more than 75 kilometres to see me.

    I had, dear bird, but I wish that it could have lasted longer. This week I have a lot of heartbreak and serious business coming up. Sigh!

    Dear Gkilkenny, Parhelion lives in a city state surrounded by an ocean. Compare it to Bespin minus the clouds and the Tibana gas. But plus flowers and people whose ancestors are partly from Greece and the US.

    Anyway for all of you I have the next text bit that dear pants corrected:


    The serpent-spawn, except for ill Caelestris, did not leave the library after the death of their nanny came known to them. They just continued their seclusion from the rest of the universe. A notice had been pushed under the door stating that they wished no food or drink for dinner or for breakfast.

    I found their behaviour rather touching.

    Within a short period my royal cousins had lost the very persons who had been the foundation of their family, even before the death of their mother Arcana. No Force mantra could really be helpful after such devastation. Isabeau had been their mother figure all their life, and in her case there would not even be a corpse to bury. They could not even say their proper good-byes to her.

    Traditionally a Lidérc was laid to rest in the dune sea. I hoped that Luçien was able to get at least that right. He owed that to his step-sister.

    Chapter 31: Revelations

    Not long after my conversation with Fleur, the House of Ankou sent a spaceship. On board were four passengers who made my heart swell with happiness: Ruadhan, Skje, little Heulwen and best of all, Minou, the patron of the House of Healing. She was high priestess and mother of a établissement at once.

    After a lot of tears and embraces, we were escorted to the royal library. The serpent-spawn ended their seclusion for this special occasion. We all were seated among them and my foster-father told us all how Isabeau had been accidentally shot and how much Luçien had mourned her death straight away in the flight hall. That she had died in his arms. I hoped her death was due to her injuries and not due to something that he had done to her.

    While a weak, yet smiley Heulwen was carried to her chamber by Éleos and Skje, Daná and her fiancé Boreas Kyrene dragged Ruadhan and Ciall towards the fovea centralis headquarters.

    Iocus, Blandita, Rubio and Calathus soon went off to check on their elder sister Caelestris, who was still confined in bed after her nervous breakdown. I started to wonder where the Prince Consort, was. He should be there for her in such a dark time.

    In the end Minou and I were left alone with tea and cookies. A fact I did not object to.

    ?To see you, my child, is wonderful.?

    Minou continued to pat my hand. Her wrinkles had deepened like the canyons of the hamada on Sapuhru. Actually her entire skin had an unnatural glow as if she stood in the twilight of the Force with one leg already. Yet her eyes were as clear as ever. They were like diamonds that could even cut Luçien into pieces without much effort
  10. FelsGoddess Game Host

    Game Host
    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2004
    star 5
    Welcome back from your vacation. :)

    ?You are still as beautiful as a peaceful sunset at high sea.?

    ?Haunted by what?? I asked.

    The ancient healer sighed, ?The only thing that I can tell you for sure is - that there was a conflict.?

    Uh oh. [face_worried]

    Great updates!
  11. Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    Oh wow!

    It seems that you enjoyed your vacation.
  12. SWpants Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 5
    I found their behaviour rather touching.

    Yes. They?re mourning for a person whose status/job isn?t normally viewed as that high.

    The serpent-spawn ended their seclusion for this special occasion.

    Which was nice of them.

    Minou continued to pat my hand. Her wrinkles had deepened like the canyons of the hamada on Sapuhru. Actually her entire skin had an unnatural glow as if she stood in the twilight of the Force with one leg already.

    Just her description is soothing. I wouldn?t enjoy being her presence at all.

    What were they up to? Frying each other with Force lightening over the fate of Isabeau? Making passionate love in the hot sand?

    As disturbing as both images are, both humour me quite a bit :D

    Heulwen ate with the hunger of at least two children. She used two spoons and shuffled it all in her mouth. Eibhear and Garou looked at her ravenous eating manners with glee. I hoped that they would not follow her bad example.


    ?Like Isabeau, he would not like us wailing for him forty nights and forty days. Therefore - my siblings and I - have decided to invite all who knew Isabeau, my father, and also grandfather Narthex to this castle.

    That really is awesome of her, and it makes me smile. What a wonderful way to remember them.

    ?To say it in the words of the Lidérc: Fou, fou, l'amour est fou. Which means, Crazy, crazy, love is crazy. And my twin sister Grianán always has been on the loony side. She will be the perfect match for Luçien.?

    HAHAHAHA Ah, that made me laugh

    ?What Daná wanted to say is, as an Ophidea, it is not always easy to have siblings. They come in quintuplets, sextuplets or even septuplets.

    I mean, shoot, it?s not easy to have siblings otherwise. But being one of many?yeesh!

    I was very glad to beta this for you :)
  13. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    You are back [face_dancing] and what an update with Grianan and Lucien
  14. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    ?Luçien was such a sweet boy when his father Dealg brought him along to meet me. I still ask myself where and how things could go so utterly wrong.?

    Lucien has definately changed, he isn't sweet anymore.

    @};- =D=
  15. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Thanks for coming in here and commenting, dear Fels. Soon you will see of what Lucien is haunted.

    Dear Misty, I indeed enjoyed my holidays. They were very short & the only holidays possible for me this year.

    Dear pants, I was glad that you did me the honour being my beta and now writing all those lovely comments. To be a royal serpent-spawn is indeed to that easy and this is why Grianán tries to do things her own way. Even though it gives us all a headache.

    Wait until get "Cat litter" in front of your nose, dear bird.

    No he is not, dear Gkilkenny. In how far the next book of my series will reveal. But for now there are still many things to be faced.

    Anyway, tonight I will post my update. For now open office acts rather strange.


    Malm approached me at the dessert table. His aquamarine coloured eyes were inquiring. He held his Amnionian cookie like a protective shield, not really eating it. ?Hej, Sionnach!?

    ?Kan jag hjälpa dig?? I produced a warm, welcoming smile. Can I help you?

    ?Vi måste snacka. Kom med mig!? he scowled like a tired grizzly bear. His face was flushed underneath his dense beard. We need to talk. Come with me!

    ?Inga problem.? I plante
  16. SWpants Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 5
    I'm glad my betaing this makes you happy!

    I was not sure that an overdose of sugar was a good remedy for love sickness.

    No, but it?s a good temporary distraction at times.

    I really like the change you made to that section. It?s very different and works well.

    ?Anger is perhaps the wrong word,? Malm corrected himself. ?It was more hatred, deep hatred. Her eyes...?

    :( Oh that is so, so sad.

    Defying the pain, I listed up the facts to myself. There had been occasional droplets of blood in the smithy. And tools that had been messed with. It seemed so essential, like a clear path. Yet, I was not able to follow it.

    She?s very strong, fighting to think through the pain.
    Oh, Sionnach.. [face_plain]
    I feel very bad for her

    Now they fully switched over to their mother language

    What language do you use there anyway?

    Screaming or running would not have been very successful.

    Heh, no. No it wouldn?t. [face_plain]

  17. Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
  18. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Yes what's happening with her?
  19. Gkilkenny Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4
    And the name of that death star is Luçien.?

    So true.[face_worried]

  20. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Dear pants, there is a very interesting text about the Fall of the Old Republic. It actually stands in the prologue of the novel "Star Wars", written by GL and published in 1978.

    It compares the Old Republic to a tree, able to defend itself to the environment, but rotten from the inside.

    What we see here is the Dark Side attacking the royal family from within because it is their fears, their anger and other dark emotion that fuel it.

    The rat pack is not evil, just following the orders of Grianán. Why we will learn bit by bit. I am not saying that she made the right decisions, but she made them.

    As for languages: the native tongue of the serpent-spawn is Italian. But they also like to use telepathy among one another or Basic (English). They also know the language of their father Agathos (Greek).

    Let me share this scrap of information with you. Luckily I did not make as many notices as Tolkien.

    The languages of the Chrysolith-System:

    The Planet Draconis
    = everybody knows Basic(English)
    = Ratoriam (language of the priestesses & scientists, Latin really)
    = Giogia in River Vally of Cunabula (Italian)
    = Alegria the Colour Desert (Spanish)

    Cygan, the folk of the Eastern Prairies
    = various accents of Ryk(basically: Polish, Romanian and Russian)
    Udaler, the free humans of the Northern Hemisphere
    = various accents of Tale(basically: Swedish, Norwegian & Islandic)
    Daoine Sidhe, Elves of the Grass Sea
    = Amhrán (Irish Gaelic)
    Sleah Maith, Mountain Elves
    = Rún (Scottish Gaelic)
    Gwyllion, Tree Elves
    = Sisial (Welsh)& Telepathy
    Korriganes, Forest Elves & mutilated war veterans
    = Anaon(Cornish) & Telepathy

    The Planet Amnion
    Humans = Basic & Logos(Greek)
    Scatel = Pysk(Cornish) & Telepathy

    Der Planet Sapuhru
    Lidérc = Ronronner(French)
    Asrai = Sioul(Bretonic) & Telepathy

    Thanks for reading, dear Misty.

    With whom, dear bird? With Sionnach? Or Grianán?

    I wonder what you will make of the latest update my husband bravely edited, dear Gkilkenny:


    After that discussion we ended up in the most unlikely of places, the former nursery of the midwinter castle. It lay in the West Tower and had large glass windows with colourful fairy tale ornaments. Unicorns, dragons and winged fairies danced a timeless dance, their transparent bodies gleaming in the late afternoon sun.

    The entire room was held in bright pastel colours, soothing the eyes of the beholder. It had thick and soft carpets. There were low shelves with wicker baskets in them. Those baskets were loaded with wooden toys, precious pup
  21. earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    New insights in Lucien and his black deeds. Can he be turned? Or is he the manifestation of evil?

    Great update
  22. SWpants Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 5
    The rat pack is not evil, just follwing the orders of Grianán. Why we will learn bit by bit. I am not saying that she made the right decisions, but she made them.

    Thank you for clarifying that!

    And for the language breakdown. Wow! You pull from A LOT of languages!

    Hubby edited this update? Oh I am so glad to hear it :D


    I voiced my concern towards Mora. ?How bad was that meltdown? Was it even a meltdown related to the death of Agathos? Why in the name of the Force is she up here and not in the sickbay??

    :( Poor Caelestris

    I began to concentrate on her skull. There was something amiss with her brain tissue, especially in the area of the frontal lobe. Were healthy synapses should have been, torn ends were showing. Memories had been removed in a most clumsy way.

    *whimpers at her state*
    I really feel bad for her.

    It is like looking at a huge block of mountain cheese! So many holes!?

    *snerk* I?m sorry but in such a serious situation, comparing it to cheese? It?s just?odd?

    I like how you did the flashback in a different colour.

    ?I think that I must have twisted it somehow, when Dran and I... you know. He is a bit wild in bed.?

    [face_laugh] Oh that is too funny!
    Except, of course, the fact that she was abused and doesn?t remember it.
    [face_plain] :( :_|
    I want to reach in and save her.

    Chapter 20: The Phantom Menace

    It seems like you did the chapter break a bit early?

    Her voice was almost pleading now, as if I was a comitty of people that she had to convince about the rightness of her operation. ?Dran will get his punishment and so will Luçien.

    1. ?comitty? should read ?committee?
    2. I?m glad the two will be punished, even if Grianan will have to do it off-record. They will get what they deserve, I hope.

    ?You are his student and we had to be sure.?

    [face_plain] Fair enough?

    *sigh* Lucien destroys everything.

    ?We are all close to joining the Dark Side if Grianán goes on like this.


    ?What worked for you and Luna, even for the belated god queen, can work on Luçien.?

    They wish!

    ?Luçien would not do that to Grianán now, would he? What use would she be to him with severed limbs?? Mora asked sourly.

    Aranea smirked. ?He could keep her in a box.?

    He WOULD do that. But good hell Aranea, that?s sick!

    A robot presumably took no harm when getting his memories deleted. The brain of a living creature with a connection to the Force is a different matter.

    I?d rather R2 get his memory wiped than Luke.

    Caelestris needed me to do my best even though it meant that I had to lie to protect the two men who had brought her in here with their dark deeds. I wanted her to get better and have a good life again. A life with no fear or grudge.

    She totally deserves such a life.

    ?What will become of Dran? You cannot hold him in custody forever.?

    Hopefully he DIES
  23. Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 21, 2007
    star 4
    My Mom was emotionally abused by her first husband. He apparently kicked her out of the house while she was pregnant and shortly after she had surgery that saved her and my oldest sister's lives. She had to call a friend and say take me away because she couldn't get in the car herself and drive away. The jerk was so drunk that to this day he apparently doesn't remember kicking her out!
  24. Chilla Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Puh! Finally caught up again! Those were 3 amazing updates, although they are terribly sad. I don't even know which part is the saddest - the new discoveries about Lucien, Caelestis fate or the fears about Grianan.... :(

    Very dramatic story and really captivating. I'm glad Sionnach was able to heal Caelestis. I'm also happy about the way she stood up to Fleur.

    I pray that Grianan is safe. I wonder what she and Lucien are doing...
    Lucien's fall reminds me a bit of Jacen's fall to the Dark Side. But only a bit.

    I'm looking forward to your next update! I'll be on vacation with my fam for 2 weeks soon. Not sure if we'll have a internet connection. If not - I'll be back! [:D]

    * [:D] to Lady_Misty* I'm sorry. It happens to the best, kindest and sweetest women that their husbands abuse them. :( Cealestis, Sionnach, your mum....
  25. AzureAngel2 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 14, 2005
    star 6
    Perhaps it is against the up-date rules of this fan fiction thread, but the comments and worries of my loyal readers need an answer before the weekend comes with the new up-date.

    Dear Chilla, how good of you to react to Misty, before I do. You are one of the sweetest, most caring and deeply faithful RL friends of mine. Thank you!

    You indeed had the right intuition. There is still my original material from my German SF-Fantasy story. But recently the course of this fan fic has been influenced by watching "Criminal Minds" & its gorgeous spin-off series "Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour"(CBS).

    I also love "Dexter", another series that centres on a bloodstain pattern analyst who is a serial killer with his own code of honour.

    When I made on-line researches for the third book of my fan fic series, I found a wookiepedia article about the infamous [link=]"Embrace of Pain"[/link]. That forced me to read on about Jacen and his development.

    We both know, Chilla, that I was never into NJO that much because I found it too depressing. But suddenly the rise and fall of Darth Caedus had a personal meaning to me. And one for my most notorious character Lucien.

    In how far that is I can present to you now in a little sneak preview of the prologue of "Cat litter".


    Life, and especially family matters, never had been easy for Ben Skywalker. Both of his parents had been living legends: Mara Jade and Luke Skywalker. Together they had fought in countless battles and against severe enemies of the New Republic.

    Ben had been born during the terrible Yuuzhan Vong War, which meant that his own parents had not always been able to be there for him. From the day that he was born there had been plenty of instability, travelling, frustration and hardship. His mother and his father had been like distance stars, which he could admire in all their shining beauty from a distance.

    It had been much easier for him to be with his aunt Princess Leia Organa and his uncle Han Solo. Or to form other emotional attachments, like the one with Zonama Sekot, a living planet.

    But actually, his strongest and deepest bond was that with his cousin, the famous Jacen Solo. He had been the apprentice of his elder family member. Due to him he had grown to be more open and trusting of the Force. Loyal and obedient he had fought at his master´s side ever since that blasted civil war had broken out between the Galactic Alliance and Corellia. There had been so many dangers they had faced together since.

    A covert mission to Adumar.

    Operation Roundabout.

    The attack on Toryaz Station.

    That incident with Ordith Huarr.

    Their adventured at a former mining station, including meeting a sith lord calling himself Darth Vectivus.

    And then the most unthinkable had happened. His mother been stabbed by a poisoned dart. The killer was still on the loose.

    But the drama had not ended there. The Dark Side of the Force was cruel and vicious.

    Jacen was actually Darth Caedus and had tricked him into threatening Kashyyyk, the home world of the Wookies.

    The person he had trusted with his
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