Phx Words of Wisdom (HUMOR with a sprinkling of philosophy)

In response to Kirana_T, why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

 

Why is it cargo if it is carried on a ship, and a shipment if it's on a truck (or train car)?

 

How do they get the teflon to stick to the pan

 

And now for something completely different...

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

Follow the three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Spend some time alone every day.

Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

Be gentle with the earth.

Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

Approack love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
--Dalai Lama

 

Playing video games when you should be studying = missing easy questions on a test.

 

--Never ask a woman when the baby is due, unless you are ABSOLUTELY sure that she is pregnant.

--If you were going to die tomorrow and had 1 phone call to make, who would you call, what would you say, and why are you waiting.

 

--Why do 24hr stores have locks on the door?

--Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10, and buns come in packages of 8?

 

Always speak the truth, but leave immeadiately after[wards].
--Slovenian proverb

Tithe if you love Jesus. Any fool can honk.
-- Bumpersticker

"Did he have a lightsaber?"
--Dr. Dana Scully on Leonard Betts, "X-Files"

Success is . . . the progressive realization of a worthwhile dream!
-- Bumpersticker

Rocking the boat isn't a problem if everyone in it can swim.

If you can read this ...
YOU'RE IN PHASER RANGE!

(wrong series, I know, but funny: stick in the back window!)

 

"If I'm not a fool for myself, who will be?" - Pirke Avot

"The right man is the one who that seizes the moment." - Goethe

"Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing." - Billy Rose

"Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind." - Marstong Bates

"Be yourself. Who is better qualified?" - Frank J. Giblin II

"No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come." - Victor Hugo