Before - Legends Workplace Survey of Qui-Gon Jinn -- repost -- revision -- humor

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Feb 9, 2008.

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  1. ardavenport Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Workplace Survey of Qui-Gon Jinn
    Author: ardavenport (aka Anne Davenport)
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: humor, Qui-Gon Questionnaire Challenge
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn
    Keywords Qui-Gon Jinn, Questionnaire BfTS
    Summary: Qui-Gon answers questions
    Notes: Another stupid survey rolled around at work, so I thought I'd update and revise this. This survey was originally posted in the old Qui-Gon challenge thread. This is complete silliness and the joke may not translate well for Jedi, but this kind of online questionnaire has been showing up where I work every so often. Seeing that the seat of galactic civilization is about to collapse in on the Jedi of Qui-Gon Jinn?s era, this seemed like the sort of thing that might be going around the Temple.

    Workplace Survey

    WELCOME to the Jedi Temple Life Survey. Thank you for participating!

    AUTHORITY to request this information is granted under the Jedi Council. Personal identifiers will be used to determine any demographic implications in the data and to track data trends over time.

    The PURPOSE of this survey is to collect data to evaluate customer satisfaction, develop actionable improvement goals and determine the need for any changes to existing or proposed Code, procedures, mission assignments and programs.

    In this section, you will be asked a variety of questions that will be used for classification purposes only.

    How many years have you been, or were you?

    A Padawan:
    - - less than 5 years: ___
    - - 5 to 8 years: ___
    - - 8 to 11 years: _X_
    - - 11 to 14 years: ___
    - - 14 to 17 years: ___
    - - 17 to 20 years: ___
    - - 20 or more years: ___

    A Knight:
    - - not applicable: ___
    - - less than 6 years: ___
    - - 6 to 16 years: _X_
    - - 16 to 30 years: ___
    - - 30 to 50 years: ___
    - - 50 years or more: ___

    A Master:
    - - not applicable: ____
    - - less than 6 years: ___
    - - 6 to 16 years: ___
    - - 16 to 30 years: _X_
    - - 30 to 50 years: ___
    - - 50 years or more: ___

    Which of the option(s) below best describes your supervisory level?
    - - Current or Former Council Member: ___
    - - Senior Master: _X_
    - - Mission Leader: _X_
    - - Teacher: _X_
    - - Temple Authority: ___
    - - Knight: _X_
    - - Learner _X_

    Are you?
    - - Male _X_
    - - Female ___
    - - Neutral ___
    - - Other ___

    Please indicate your age range in standard years.
    - - 0 to 20 ___
    - - 20 to 50 ___
    - - 50 to 80 _X_
    - - 80 to 150 ___
    - - 150 to 300 ___
    - - 300 to 500 ___
    - - greater than 500 ___

    Number of primary appendages of your species:
    - - 0 to 2: ___
    - - 2 to 4: _X_
    - - 4 to 8: ___
    - - more than 8: ___

    Number of primary appendages that you currently have: _4_

    Number of secondary appendages of your species:
    - - 0: ___
    - - 1 to 2: _X_
    - - 2 to 4: ___
    - - more than 4: ___

    Your primary locomotion requires:
    - - 0 to 2 appendages: _X_
    - - 3 to 4 appendages: ___
    - - more than 4: ___
    - - artificial or cybernetic assistance: ___

    Physical senses (excluding those derived from Force enhancement):
    - - Electromagnetic Waves: _X_
    - - Electromagnetic Fields: ___
    - - Electromagnetic Induction: ___
    - - Atmospheric Waves and Disturbances: _X_
    - - Atmospheric Chemical: _X_
    - - Sampled Chemical: _X_
    - - Physical Contact: _X_
    - - Temperature _X_

    In this section, you will be presented with some statements about the Force, the Jedi Order and your general working conditions.
    Please indicate to what extent you agree or disagree with each of the following statements.
    1 ? Strongly Disagree
    2 ? Somewhat Disagree
    3 ? Neutral
    4 ? Somewhat Agree
    5 ? Strongly Agree

    (1.) I am satisfied with my status. ____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (2.) The Force is with me. ____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __{5}

    (3.) My interactions with the Jedi Council are good. ____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (4.) My thoughts sometimes stray to the
  2. Valairy Scot Backpacking One Pack a Day Mod of New Films

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 6
    I so see this!

    Obi is only a "2" on the obedience scale, eh? [face_laugh]

    (4.) What activities are most supportive of your growth in the Force?
    Meditation, lightsaber training, teaching and all the other things that if one needs to ask if they improve your understanding of the Force then they are not likely to do so.

    (5.) What activities most hinder your growth in the Force?
    I am engaged in one of them right now.

    Oh, yeah, I see Qui answering that way. :D
  3. ratna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
  4. Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Sep 2, 2007
    star 4
    Hah! Had to guess that Obi-Wan's obedience level was only at 2 :p And so was his satisfaction with the Jedi Council's leadership :p Typical Qui-Gon ;) Loved the appendages questions ;) That made me totally LOL :D

    Can I borrow this survey and have one of my OC's fill it out? :p I would love to see their responses. This is such an awesomely silly idea :D

  5. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    What a creative idea! :D Loved the whole thing, but this section was priceless:

    (14.) I am mindful of the Jedi Code: ____ 1 __ 2 __{3}__ 4 __ 5

    (15.) My skills are under-used: ____{1}__ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (16.) Communication between peers in the Jedi Order is excellent. ____ 1 __ 2 __{3}__ 4 __ 5

    (17.) The Force is with the Jedi Council: ____ 1 __ 2 __{3}__ 4 __ 5

    (18.) I am strongest with the Unifying Force. ____{1}__ 2 __ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    [face_laugh] =D= [face_laugh]
  6. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    (26.) The Jedi Council is open to new ways and ideas. ____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (27) I am proud of the Jedi Council. ____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    I think they'll be able to figure out just wich Jedi Master it is! [face_laugh]

    (2.) My Padawan is obedient. ____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    (8.) Our relationship is harmonious. ____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    Oh poor Obi-Wan! [face_laugh]

    (5.) What activities most hinder your growth in the Force?
    I am engaged in one of them right now.

    I can definitely see Qui-Gon answering like that.

    Great story! Are you going to do anyone else? =D= =D=
  7. micky-nikki Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 1
    Very clever! I love how you're able to convey his Qui-Gon-ness just through what number he chose. One of my favorites:

    (19.) I work well with my fellow Jedi. ____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (20.) My fellow Jedi work well with me. ____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    Wonderful, as always.

    I wonder how Obi-Wan would answer the survey? *nudge*
  8. Nimloth Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2007
    star 1
    Really funny. I read it all with a very big smile![face_laugh]
  9. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Very funny. I missed it last time around.

    (5.) What activities most hinder your growth in the Force?
    I am engaged in one of them right now.

    He must have been reading my mind. I also loved

    (19.) I work well with my fellow Jedi. ____ 1 __ 2 __ 3 __{4}__ 5

    (20.) My fellow Jedi work well with me. ____ 1 __{2}__ 3 __ 4 __ 5

    LOL. Very cute!
  10. Lurkalidth Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2003
    star 2
    LOL! This reminds me of the useless (and endless) surveys they forced us to do at a previous job. It's amazing how true to the genre of (annoying) surveys this is--it looks like the bona fide article. Qui Gon's answers were a real hoot, too, especially the "write in" variety. Thank you for sharing this. :)
  11. JediKaren Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2007
    star 3
  12. azizah Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2006
    star 1
    Brilliant [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I do these things occasionally at work and I will never be able to look at them the same again. Thanks for making my day.

  13. Rogue_Pilot_2347 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 16, 2005
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That's awesome! I never realized just how much someone's personality could come out in a stupid little survey!
  14. silverfighter Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 28, 2007
    star 4
    That was so amusing!

    (1.) What are the most serene parts of the Temple?
    The parts strongest with the Living Force. The utility room on the 5th level, 3rd block is exceptional.

    (2.) What parts of the Temple do you think need improvement?
    The towers and the activities carried out in them appear to me to be superfluous.

    (3.) What parts of the Jedi Code do you think should be changed?
    The parts of the Jedi Code that imply that it doesn't need to be changed.

    I thought I was laughing hard until I read these... [face_laugh][face_laugh] You should do another like this! It was really good! =D=

  15. ardavenport Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: Thanks for the reply! Qui-Gon's honesty on a survey like this make his responses....unique. [face_mischief]

    ratna: Thanks!

    Jinngerbread: Thank-you! I guess Obi-Wan's obedience level could use some work. ;)

    Can I borrow this survey and have one of my OC's fill it out? tongue I would love to see their responses. This is such an awesomely silly idea

    Aaaack - I should have replied sooner than this. Of course you can use this survey; I'm flattered. Just put a credit and link to this thread in with it.

    VaderLVR64: Thank-you! :)

    LilyHobbitJedi: Thanks for reading! I considered doing others, but I didn't think anyone would be as blunt at Qui-Gon.

    micky-nikki: Thank-you! I thought about doing Obi-Wan's survery, but I think he might take the survey seriously--he's young--and be more diplomatic with answering the questions at the end.

    Nimloth: Thanks and thanks for reading!

    dianethx: Thanks! I think surveys would not help with a Jedi's growth in the Force.

    Lurkalidth: Thanks for the reply! You wonder if surveys like this can come to anything, but for this story Qui-Gon obviously doesn't think so. If the survey is dumb, sometimes the best thing to do is be honest.

    JediKaren: Thanks! :D

    azizah: Thanks! It was the occassional survey at my work that inspired this one; I thought, 'What if the Jedi Council sent these out?'

    Rogue_Pilot_2347: Thanks! The littlest responses can sometimes reveal a lot. ;)

    silverfighter: Thank-you! I'm glad this survey worked out, but unless the right inspiration comes, I don't know if I could do another one justice.

  16. celine Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2007
    star 2

    very funny!

    This reminds me of something I used to read years ago called "Qui-Gon's Monthly Report." I don't know if they can still be found online but they're hilarious and much along the same lines as this. BRAVO!
  17. Valiowk Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2000
    star 6
    Great work, ardavenport! =D= Although this questionnaire was (meant to be) somewhat silly, you managed to capture Qui-Gon's personality and relationship with Obi-Wan excellently using just a series of numbers! I loved Qui-Gon's answers to the open-ended questions best. :D

    I would be very interested to see responses by our other favourite Jedi. Maybe that will help us figure out who these surveys originated from... [face_thinking]
  18. p_stotts Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 21, 2001
    star 4
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] :p Absolutely hilarious! Great job and so Qui-Gon!
  19. bek Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2005
    star 4
    This was fantastic! =D= I loved every minute of it. Especially where he agreed that he worked well with others but disagreed that others worked well with him! [face_laugh]

    If you don't think a survey with Obi-Wan would work, perhaps a vignette then? Qui-Gon could have printed out his results and left them lying around in their apartment. Obi-Wan could find them and we'd get to see his reaction and thoughts to Qui-Gon's answers. ;)
  20. Seremela Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 12, 2008
    star 3
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Priceless!!!! This made me laugh out loud from beginning to end.

    And it's great how you managed to capture Qui-Gon purely by his answers.

  21. nada_smith Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2006
    star 1
    Ah, workplace surveys. One of my favorite things to complain about. :p

    I love that you're usuallly assured of confidentiality, then they ask enough classification questions to identify you. Sure, supposedly the answers are aggregated to prevent that, but still...there's no doubt this is Qui-Gon. Not that he cares if anyone knows it. :D

    I wonder how old Qui-Gon (and thus Obi-Wan) are in this piece. The disharmony in their relationship and Obi's disobedience initially made me think it was early in their partnership. But it could be as Obi-Wan matures and is asserting his own views a bit more.

    (5.) What activities most hinder your growth in the Force?
    I am engaged in one of them right now.

    (6.) If there are any other issues that have not been covered by this survey, please list them here.
    I believe that we need fewer surveys.

    I agree, Qui-Gon, I agree.

    This was hilarious! Good job.
  22. SithGirl132 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2005
    star 4
    I love it. Now, that does sound like a Qui-Gon style response: "What activities hinder your growth in the Force? This one." So funny!
  23. Ara-gon Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    Oh, that's hysterical. Just absolutely perfect. Thank you! I wanted something light to read, and this was just perfect.
  24. ardavenport Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    celine: Thank-you! Hmmmm, "Qui-Gon's Monthly Report", eh? Must google that sometime.

    Valiowk: Thanks! It's Qui-Gon's actions that define him, so the questionnaire can reveal a lot with just a little. I don't really have plans to do any other characters. And I never ask where these silly surveys come from when they roll by at work. :rolleyes:

    p_stotts: Thank-you! :)

    bek: Thank-you! Mmmmm, I'll leave it for others to do more surveys for now.

    Seremela: Thanks! The right questions can reveal the essential parts of people. So, I suppose those surveys aren't all silly. [face_thinking]

    nada_smith: Yeah, those surveys.... :rolleyes: Those classification questions always turn up at the beginning of the surveys, but they would be a little different for the GFFA. I'll leave it to the readers to decide how old Obi-Wan is. Thanks for the reply!

    SithGirl132: Thanks! Yes, survey's definitely hinder Qui-Gon's growth in the Force. :p

    Ara-gon: Thanks! :) It's light, but Qui-Gon.

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