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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga Worth Fighting For: Captain Rex/OC, romance/drama. Sequel to The Fighting Kind, Completed 6/29/15,

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by laloga, May 26, 2014.

  1. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    @Nyota's Heart: Where do I sign up to give Rex hugs and kisses? :D Thank you for the comment! I struggled with making Bren's recovery feel realistic, so this is high praise indeed. [:D]
    @gracesonnet: Yep, if anyone could pull off the cowboy look, it's Rexter. [face_cowboy] I kind of fell in love with the mental image, and if I had any artistic talent at all, I'd try to make it a reality. Alas...​
    Great song! I could totally imagine Fives rocking out to it ad infinitum...much to the annoyance of his squad mates! Thank you so much for the comment! [face_love]



    *****​
    Chapter Twenty-Three

    Of course, of course, he'd failed her. Again. As Rex headed down the stairs, away from the room that he and Bren had shared, he mentally berated himself for his lax in control; he'd let himself get carried away by a simple touch and he'd obviously upset her in some way. She'd been trying to get back into some semblance of routine, not flirt with him.

    But her touch had reminded him of far too much, and he'd not been able to help himself as memories flooded his mind: tastes and sounds and smells, whispers in the dark and quiet night, the feel of her head resting on his chest as she slept. Yes, he missed the passion, but he mostly just missed her, and for one wild moment, he'd hoped that she was magically cured and things would go back to how they had been, but then he'd seen the disappointment in her eyes and knew that wasn't the case.

    Nothing to do but keep going, right? Rex reached the bottom of the stairs and sighed.

    Dr. Bores had said that they should try and stay positive, be patient and just give her time...Force, he wanted to do all of those things, but it was growing harder and harder to be around Brenna not knowing if she'd ever look at him the same way as she had, once. Before.

    But this isn't about me, he reminded himself as he slipped outside and made his way to the paddock, where Kix and Iri were waiting. This is about her, and what she needs. What I want isn't the point.

    It was cool, pleasantly so, and as Rex approached his daughter and his brother, he tried to push away the sharper edge of his agitation, hoping that it would get carried away by the Alderaani wind.

    Standing just outside the paddock fence with Kix, Iri spotted him first. “Daddy!” she shrieked, then broke out of Kix's not-quite-secure-enough hold to dart towards Rex.

    Despite his sorrow, despite the worry and agitation that had become his constant companions, Rex couldn't help but smile at the toddler's enthusiastic greeting even as he inwardly marveled at the term. Daddy.

    Hey, kiddo,” he laughed, scooping the little blonde girl up and kissing her cheek beneath the child-sized helmet she wore. “Ready to ride?”

    Pony!”

    Kix hurried up, a somewhat chagrined look on his face as he looked at Rex. “Sorry...she got away from me.”

    Yeah, she's good at that,” Rex replied as Iri gave Kix a wide smile. “When she sets her mind to something, she can be a force to be reckoned with. Right Iri'ka?”

    While Iri giggled, Kix indicated Nova, saddled and waiting in the paddock. “She's ready to go. Was Bren...er...”

    She was okay with it,” Rex replied quickly. “Let's just get underway.”

    Rex shifted the toddler so that she was resting on his hip and made his way to the gate that led to the interior of the paddock. In the distance, he could make out Jesse, Chopper, Caith and Edme facing what appeared to be a section of makeshift targets that had been set up in an empty pasture; the clones were instructing the civvies in the proper positioning of a blaster-rifle, and though he couldn't hear what any of them were saying, he knew that his brothers had the situation well in hand. If he squinted, he could make out Coric and Tav, seated nearby. Jensine was nowhere to be found.

    Nor were Fives and Marliss, but he didn't wonder at that; no one blamed the young couple for wanting to spend time alone. Beyond the paddock, beside the barn, he could see Nala Se's lab. The windows had been covered with curtains, so that they could only see an occasional glimpse of the Kaminoan's shadow as she moved through the interior.

    Perhaps the former medic's thoughts were in the same vein, or maybe he'd caught the direction of Rex's gaze. Either way, as they approached where he'd tied the quagga, Kix cleared his throat. “Nala Se has been working nonstop since she got here; she hardly sleeps, and I have to bring her food just to make sure she eats. Coric and I were able to follow along for a little bit, but I'm afraid neither of us have any idea what she's up to, now.”

    Does she still think she can manage it?”

    At this, Kix pursed his lips, which sent a flare of alarm through Rex, though he waited for his brother's reply. Finally, as they reached the quagga, Kix gave a shrug. “She hopes she can. It's a difficult task she's taken on, you know? We just need to be patient.”

    Patient, Rex thought with a sigh. He hugged Iri closer to his chest. Of-kriffing-course. “Yeah. I guess.”

    While Nova wore a standard saddle and bridle, Kix had also attached a loose-fitting, nylon halter over the bridle on her head, so that he could direct her on the lead-line. Even though he knew that his brother would have done so, Rex paused to check that the girth that held the saddle on the quagga's back was secure and that nothing was pinching her, then he looked at Iri, who was studying his every move.

    Irini, I know you're excited to ride Nova,” he said in his most captain-like tone. “But you have to be very nice to her, because when you ride, the two of you are a team. You must be quiet and calm, and not do anything to startle her. If you treat her well, she'll do as you want her to. Do you understand?”

    Honey-brown eyes regarded him, and he wondered how much she picked up of what he'd said. A moment later, she nodded vigorously, the movement causing her bright-green helmet to bob just a little bit. “Iri nice to pony. Promise.”

    Rex glanced at Kix, who'd gathered up the lead-line and was standing at Nova's head, stroking her nose. Though Rex would primarily be in charge of the quagga, Kix's role was a secondary means of control, just in case. “Ready?”

    Rather than answer, the former medic gave him a salute, which made Iri giggle even as Rex sighed. Moments later, Rex carefully placed Iri at the front of the wide saddle, instructing her to hang on to the leather pommel while he mounted behind her. To his pleasure, Nova barely flicked her ears at the presence of the child, and she remained standing calmly. Once he was secure, Rex gathered up the reins with one hand and wrapped the other around his daughter. “You okay, Iri'ka?”

    He felt a flare of pride when the toddler replied, “yes, Daddy.”

    Nodding, Rex looked at Kix again, who began to let out the line, positioning himself so that he was at the center of the rounded paddock while Rex nudged Nova with his heels. At the silent signal, the quagga began to walk forward, her stride relaxed and easy. Before him, Rex felt Iri tense as if she was nervous, so he gave her arm a gentle squeeze and murmured a few words of encouragement to help her relax.

    For about fifteen minutes, they circled the paddock, Rex keeping the quagga's gait at a steady walk while Iri grew accustomed to the feel of Nova's movements. Gradually, the little girl relaxed more and more, until she actually twisted to beam up at him. “Iri ride quagga!”

    At the expression, Rex felt a thrill of love for his daughter. It was laced with pride, because she was doing so well and she was still so young. Because she was strong and brave, and she had her entire life ahead of her, no matter how short his own might be. While it hurt to be around her mother, the feeling was mitigated by the joy of spending time like this with Irini, and it was bright moments like these that allowed him to bear the other, darker ones.

    That's right, Iri'ka,” he replied with a chuckle. “You're a natural.”

    *

    The lesson continued for another hour or so, until Rex decided to call it a day; dinner time would be in a few hours, and Nova still had to be groomed and returned to her stall. Kix offered to take care of the quagga, but Rex opted to do so himself, with Iri in tow. After he and Kix parted ways, Rex led Nova to the interior of the barn, placing her in an open-sided stall that was used for grooming purposes, removed the leather tack and set it aside to be cleaned later on, then pulled out a rounded curry-comb. Once he explained how to use the comb, he and Irini spent a nice, quiet half-hour grooming the quagga, who seemed pleased at all the attention. Rex was sure to keep an eye on his daughter to ensure that she didn't wander around Nova's hindquarters – he didn't think the quagga would kick, but he wasn't about to take the chance – and lifted her up so that she could reach Nova's back with the comb.

    For the duration, he was able to set the bulk of his worry for Bren aside and simply enjoy being with Iri, who was clearly having a grand time. Motes of dust caught in the late-afternoon light and danced around them as she chattered away to the equine, and the air was filled with the warm scent of quagga, with a faint, sweet tinge that Rex attributed to the bundles of hay resting throughout the barn. Once they were finished, he led Nova to her stall, thinking that Iri probably needed a bath after this, and that she was also likely getting hungry, when his gaze fell on Nala Se's lab.

    Since he'd returned to Alderaan, Rex hadn't spent much time around the Kaminoan, partly because he had so much else on his mind and partly because...well, despite her willingness to help the clones and her politeness, he still wasn't entirely comfortable around her.

    But she is working hard, and for us, he reminded himself. The least I can do is check in on her once in a while. He remembered Nala Se's interest in Iri as well, and thought that the Kaminoan might appreciate another visit with the little girl. Rex checked that the latch on Nova's stall was secure, then glanced down at Irini, who'd been following along. “What do you say we pay a visit to Nala Se, Iri'ka?”

    The little girl gave a delighted giggle and nodded, then lifted her arms up to him, adding “up, Daddy!” as she did so. Obliging her, Rex scooped her up and they made their way to the little building nearby the barn, pausing at the door so that Rex could knock.

    The door slid to the side and Nala Se appeared, but before Rex could say anything, Iri gave an excited squeal. “Naa Say! Naa Say!”

    To her credit, the Kaminoan didn't even bat her eyes at the toddler's shouting, only dipped her head in a graceful gesture of greeting. Rex shifted Iri in his arms and cleared his throat. “Good afternoon...may we come in?”

    Of course,” she replied, stepping aside and extending her arm to the interior of the lab, which was much cleaner and more organized than he remembered. “You are both welcome, here.”

    Upon falling on the rows of gleaming lab equipment, Irini's eyes grew round and Rex wondered if this was a bad idea, because she could get into so much trouble in a place like this, but Nala Se seemed unconcerned as she shut the door and motioned for them to come further inside. “There is nothing in here that will harm your daughter,” she said as she made her way to the center of the room, where Rex could see that she'd been working at a computer. “Do not worry.”

    I don't want her to...harm anything either,” Rex replied, holding Iri tightly as she squirmed in his arms, demanding to be put down.

    Nala Se looked at him and gave him a smile that was – he thought – a little sad. “There is no need to worry about that.”

    Wondering what the Kaminoan meant by such a thing, Rex set Iri on the floor, though he took a knee and met her eyes, injecting his next words with all the authority he could muster. “Irini, it's very important that you don't touch anything in here. There are many things that could hurt you. I need you to be careful. Look with your eyes, not with your hands.”

    Promise, Daddy.” Iri's nod was quick and her eyes were already darting around, and Rex sighed to himself, though he stood up and watched as she began to wander around the room.

    After a moment, he glanced at the Kaminoan, whose eyes were fixed on Irini as the toddler examined the underside of every table. “I'm sorry I haven't been in to see you before. But I've heard how hard you're working for us all and wanted to thank you. How are things progressing? Do you need anything?”

    As she shook her head in response, Nala Se's gray eyes flickered to him, but she continued to study Iri. “She is quite lovely,” she said, nodding to the toddler. “And she is healthy, as well. You and your mate are...lucky.”

    Lately he didn't feel so lucky, but when he watched his daughter he knew that wasn't true. “She is beautiful,” he replied as Iri made her way to the Kaminoan, eyes wide and head tilted almost all the way back as she studied Nala Se. “And the doctor in Belleau-a-Lir confirmed what you told me: Iri didn't inherit my rapid-aging, so she'll live a long life.”

    Naa Say...up?” Iri held out her arms and gave the Kaminoan a bright, hopeful smile.

    To Rex's surprise, Nala Se glanced his way. “Is it acceptable if I hold her?”

    Of...of course,” he stammered, caught off-guard at the notion.

    Nodding, Nala Se bent and picked up Iri, her movement fluid and graceful as they all were. There were a few minutes where she and the toddler seemed to examine each other, during which Rex tried to reconcile the sight of his child in the arms of a Kaminoan. Iri was laughing, tugging at Nala Se's slender fingers and chattering about something he couldn't catch, but that wasn't remarkable.

    The Kaminoan was smiling.

    It was a true smile, wide and full and filled with joy, and in all his days, he'd never thought to see such a thing. Kaminoans did not express emotion like other sentients, for it was considered a sign of weakness among a people who held scientific detachment in the highest regard. Though Rex thought it odd, he didn't fault them for it, as he knew it was the way of their kind. But still.

    Nala Se laughed – actually laughed – at something the toddler said, and Rex felt a strong flare of pride that his daughter had elicited such a reaction in the stately Kaminoan. Beneath the pride, however, was curiosity. Why was it so, with Nala Se? Somehow, he didn't think that most others of her species would react this way to seeing a child, let alone a child of one of their own creations.

    Perhaps she sensed his curiosity, for the Kaminoan glanced his way and spoke in a quiet voice. “Before I was reassigned to medical duties, I acted as a caretaker for the youngest clones.”

    Why were you reassigned?”

    Something somber passed over the Kaminoan's face, like a wispy cloud across the sun, for it was faint and fleeing even though her next words were calm. “It was decided that I became too easily attached to them. However, my compassion was noted to be useful upon occasion, hence my transference to the medcenter at Kaliida Shoals.”

    There was a pause, then Nala Se cast him an unreadable look as Iri toyed with the buttons of her tunic. “I was thankful that I could continue to help your brothers...”

    Rex exhaled, understanding washing over him. “...but you missed being with the children.”

    She nodded, then looked back at Irini, affection swirling in her gray eyes. “Kaminoans do not believe in destiny because it cannot be measured,” she continued. “Even its existence cannot be proven. But I always felt – just a little – that it was right for me to be with the younger clones.”

    She paused here, seeming to think over her words, and Rex nearly shifted his body into parade-rest on reflex, but withheld the urge. That kind of formality was not needed any longer. Instead, he leaned against a table that held an assortment of flimsis and datapads, and waited.

    Finally, Nale Se took a breath and reached a hand up to stroke Iri's curls back from her face, smiling as the toddler giggled. “You had so much potential,” she said slowly. “All of you. So much promise. Too much, I thought, to be treated as you were. As something disposable.”

    Her words were so soft, but they struck Rex with the intensity of a seismic charge. It had never occurred to him that any Kaminoan felt this way about their “products,” though he understood that Nala Se had been somewhat ostracized for her perspective.

    He knew what most citizens had thought of the clones during the Wars, even as his brothers fought and died by the thousands: flesh-droids, bucket-heads, meat-cans, tube-babies, cannon fodder. Expendable, the lot of them. It was not something that Rex, or any clone, really, had tried to dwell on; it became one of those things that everyone knew of but did not discuss, like the incinerators aboard the starships that had consumed the bodies of the dead.

    Though Rex had not thought of the Besalisk in some time, Krell's words came back to him: I will not be undermined by creatures bred in some laboratory.

    Yes, we were grown by the thousands, with one purpose alone, Rex thought as he watched his daughter and Nala Se; Irini laughed, the bright sound filling the room. Yes, we were trained to fight and born to die in someone else's war.


    But we are still men.

    *****
    Thanks for reading! [face_love]
    Next time: News from Nala Se.
     
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  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    I loved the quagga ride. So relaxing. :) Loved very much learning more about Nala Se's personal and cultural history. And tickled pink that Irini bonds with her. [face_love]

    Looking forward to Nala's news. [face_batting]
     
    laloga and gracesonnet like this.
  3. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    You're welcome! (Other songs that Fives probably loves: Lil Jon's "Turn Down for What," which I'm partial to because the Phillies' Ben Revere walks out to it when he's at bat during home games).

    I like how you've captured Rex's struggle to just keep going, even amidst all these new obstacles. And hurray for a Nala Se characterization where she's not horrible!
     
    laloga likes this.
  4. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    @Nyota's Heart: It made sense to me that Nala would be intrigued by the child of a clone. I'm glad you liked her and Iri together! Thank you for the comment. [face_love]
    @gracesonnet: Rex is a stubborn guy, which can translate into an indomitable willpower. I always thought it was fitting that the ship he served on was called the "Resolute." ;) Ha ha, yeah. Nala Se will forever be a kind, gentle soul in my mind. Take that, canon! :p Thank you for the comment!​


    *****
    Chapter Twenty-Four

    Since Nala Se and Iri were enjoying themselves so much, Rex decided to linger for a few minutes longer than he'd originally planned. Additionally, he recalled the Kaminoan's abrupt subject-change when he'd first mentioned her work, and wondered if there was something that she needed to speak to him about. He decided to broach the subject on his own when Iri was seated in a chair, playing with a datapad that Nala Se assured him was empty of any critical research.

    What's the status of your work?” Rex asked, still leaning against the table. “Do you need anything further from any of us, or any supplies from town?”

    The Kaminoan, who'd been in the process of bending to speak to the toddler, grew very still, which sent a flare of warning through Rex. But she seemed to collect herself as she drew her body upright and met his eyes. When she spoke her words were very deliberate, as if she'd rehearsed them several times. “I cannot complete the cure.”

    Rex blinked. “You-”

    I have reached an impasse,” Nala Se continued, her hands closing before her and her voice taking on that smooth, even resonance as the rest of her species. “I have need of a compound that I cannot manufacture, as it was specially formulated for your genetic structure.” Her shoulders sank, belying her emotionless voice. “I am...sorry.”

    His body felt strange, heavy and numb with disbelief. It was difficult to hear her correctly, as his blood was pumping quite distinctly in his ears, so he took a deep breath to try and collect himself. “That's...well-”

    Nala Se met his eyes with her own, and he could now discern the regret that was within her gaze even if her voice was still too calm. “I wish I could say differently.”

    Even though he nodded to her and – possibly – said some mundane words of thanks, Rex wanted to break something. Frustration and simmering kind of anger were boiling through his veins, and he was filled with an urge to either tear the lab apart or order the kriffing long-neck to find an alternative, to work harder, to do something other than give up, but he knew that such an outburst would be serve no purpose. Instead, he swallowed and reached for Iri, gathering her in his arms as carefully as he could given that he was starting to tremble.

    They were out the door before Iri realized what was going on. Once she did, however, the toddler began to wail in protest, her cries uncommonly loud against the darkening, violet sky where a few scattered stars had begun to show. Rex wanted to shush her, but could hardly put one thought in front of the other, so he simply held her close and made his way across the yard, towards the main house.

    Iri needs dinner, and a bath, he thought as his boots crunched across the gravel, like his body was on autopilot, along with his brain. And a story before bed-

    Suddenly, Iri's cries ceased and he heard her hiccup once before she said: “Puppy!”

    There were no dogs out here.

    Rex froze in his tracks as the bleating sound of a terrified vilpaca broke through the air, and the former captain whirled around just in time to see a shadowy, canine figure of a mountain anooba begin to lope away from the villie barn, making its way towards the horizon and the far pastures. The sight made something inside Rex fracture and begin to fill with fury.

    That kriffing anooba.

    He had to do something, anything. He was done with standing around, feeling helpless in the wake of so much grief and frustration; he was done with being patient, with waiting for things to get better. He was done.

    A gust of cool, evening wind brushed against him, but he hardly noticed as his jaw tightened and he hurried towards the house, because his mind was already working out a plan of attack. Once inside, he spoke to Caith and Edme, who agreed to take his daughter and didn't ask him any other questions while he collected his warmest jacket and some supplies. Though he disliked leaving Iri, it was necessary for the task at hand. Once he'd gathered what he'd need, he returned to the quagga barn and saddled up Nova again.

    By the time they were ready to go, dusk was falling in earnest, though Rex knew that he would at least have a few hours before true dark. Already, the cold was like a living thing that curled around him, enclosing him in its embrace with enough force to make breathing somewhat difficult, and he knew it would only get colder as the darkness fell. But that didn't matter. He was ready for the cold; he welcomed the challenge it presented. Rex swung into the saddle and urged Nova into a canter, and together they raced towards the far pasture, following the anooba's path.

    *

    When Brenna woke from the nightmare it was very late, and save the whistle of wind outside and her own heaving breath, the house was silent.

    The first thing she did was reach for the place beside her, but there was only an empty space. The blankets were tangled around her legs and a thin film of sweat coated her body, and her breath was short as if she'd been running full throttle. A deep breath brought her further into wakefulness. Her room was dark, but through the curtains over the window she could see a silver glow cast by the light of the moon, so she sat up and ran her hands through her hair, trying to remember what had frightened her so.

    But it was a futile effort. In the way of nightmares, whatever it was had faded the instant her eyes had opened.

    This was not the first time such a thing had happened since her abduction, so she exhaled deeply and lay back again, trying to calm her still-racing heart enough to allow her to drop back into sleep, but even as she did she knew it wouldn't work. No matter how exhausted she became during the day, it was difficult to relax enough to sleep at night when she was alone and the entire world was dark, and even the walls around her seemed close and ominous. The doctor had given her anti-anxiety meds, but she didn't like the way they made her feel any more than she liked the idea of drugging herself for any reason.

    It was cold as well, so she drew the blanket close around her and waited for her body heat to warm her up naturally, all while listening to the persistent, sighing wind outside of her bedroom and thinking that she didn't want to be alone, right now.

    A soft creaking sound – the floorboards – alerted her to the fact that someone else was in her room, and her heartbeat quickened as she sat up. But the figure was small and blonde, and Brenna felt a strange sense of gratitude to her daughter as she leaned over and turned on the lamp beside her bed. “What are you doing up, Iri?”

    Missed Mama.” Iri approached the bedside and lifted her arms. Moments later the little girl was snuggled up to her chest, so Brenna wrapped them both securely in the blanket and lay back down, hugging Irini's warm body close.

    I'm right here, sweetheart,” she whispered to her daughter's curls. “I'm not going anywhere.”

    Iri nodded, then tilted her head up to Brenna, her honey-brown eyes curious. “Why Mama sad?”

    For a moment, Brenna didn't know what to say, so she only sighed and tried to sound more confident than she felt. “It's hard to explain.”

    Daddy says Mama sick.”

    This made Brenna's heart skip a beat. “Daddy?”

    Again, Iri nodded. The gesture was far too serious for such a little girl, and Brenna wondered if all the children of clones were this way, or if it was just hers. With her family's help she'd been able to recall Tucker, to a degree, but by all accounts he had not been so solemn. No, Iri reminded her more of-

    Rex, Mama,” Iri said with a sigh when Brenna didn't say anything more. “Daddy.”

    Right,” Brenna managed, blinking against a sudden prick of emotion behind her eyes. “Daddy.”

    Silly Mama.” Iri gave Brenna a somewhat exasperated look, then her expression changed and she ducked her head to hug Brenna's neck beneath the covers. “Daddy loves Mama. Iri loves Mama. Want Mama get better.”

    With that, the toddler closed her eyes and seemed to fall asleep in an instant, her breath coming in soft puffs against Brenna's sleep-shirt. There was a beat, then Brenna reached up and hugged her closer, breathing in her scent as she was overwhelmed with love for her child. It was too vast for her heart to contain, too strong to be kept within the confines of her mind, so intense that it was almost a physical ache, and she blinked harder, because she didn't want to cry but thought it was imminent.

    It didn't matter that she couldn't quite remember how she'd picked out Iri's name. It didn't matter that there were still large pieces of her memory missing, pieces that she was starting to think she'd never find again. It didn't matter. Life was more than the sum of memories; she had the proof here, in the warm, little body that was nestled so securely in her arms.

    The only thing that would make this moment better would be if Rex were here.

    The understanding bloomed without warning, welling up from some hidden place within her heart. Looking back down at her daughter's sleeping form, the idea occurred to her that Iri's simple words struck at the truth of the matter. We love you and want you to get better. Brenna wasn't alone, even though it felt so, especially when her family walked on eggshells around her and treated her like a guest.

    It's so hard for all of them, too, she thought, taking a deep breath and picturing their faces: Edme, Marliss, Jensine, Caith. To worry that when I look at them, I only see strangers.

    Even if they weren't quite sure how to handle what had happened to her, Brenna knew in her heart that her family had been supportive as best they could, and she felt a bit humbled by the understanding. Like Rex, they were trying to help her, even though they probably thought they were failing her.

    Suddenly, she had to do something. Brenna knew that she could not lie here any longer; she loved this moment with Iri but she was filled with an urge to find Rex and tell him-

    Well, she wasn't quite certain, yet.

    As carefully as she could, Brenna sat up and gathered Iri in her arms to take the little girl back to her bed, all while trying to cobble together something of a plan of action. Rex hadn't been at dinner; Caith mentioned that he'd said something about finding the anooba that had been roaming around the property. Though he hadn't said as much, Caith had implied that Rex was upset about something, a suspicion that was supported by the fact that Caith had said Rex wouldn't be returning that night.

    Iri didn't stir as Brenna stepped through the house, down the stairs to the childrens' room, or when Brenna set her back in her bed and ensured that she was tucked in. From there, Brenna hurried back up to her room to change into warmer clothes. Once she was dressed, she slipped back downstairs and spent a few minutes gathering some food and utensils, which she then packed so that they would easily fit into a saddlebag. She wasn't exactly sure where Rex was, but she knew that the anooba had been seen in only a few areas, and of those there were only one or two that were far enough out to necessitate an overnight stay.

    Once she was ready, Brenna slipped out of the house and made her way to the barn, thinking that she'd take one of the quagga rather than a speeder. The moon was full and bright, providing plenty of light to see by, and the quagga were quite adept at moving across the terrain. Besides, she still didn't want to be alone.

    Boots crunching over the gravel, Brenna adjusted her scarf and gloves as she made her way to the stables. When she glanced up, she saw Jensine walking towards her, as if her mother was returning to the house. Brenna took a deep breath and continued walking. They met in the middle of the yard that lay between the house and the barn, each of them coming to a halt before the other. Jensine studied Brenna for one moment, then gave a swift nod.

    Rex is in the eastern pasture,” she said, thumbing in the appropriate direction. “Or he was, a few hours ago.” A pale brow lifted. “If you're going to look for him.”

    Brenna looked up at the moon. The wind seared her cheeks while she searched for the right words. “I need to find him.”

    Jensine nodded, then shifted her feet against the gravel drive, her hands in her pockets. “Are you taking a speeder?”

    No,” Brenna said, then winced at her own sharp tone. “I mean...I want to ride.”

    Something about this made Jensine chuckle, and her blue eyes gleamed in the moonlight as she looked up at her daughter. “Then you should take Rico. He's fast and sure-footed. He won't let you down.”

    Brenna nodded and made to continue walking, but her mother spoke again and halted her in her tracks. “Want some help getting him saddled?”

    There was no softness in Jensine's voice, no gentleness or reassurance, but it was suddenly so familiar that Brenna found herself fighting back tears for what felt like the umpteenth time this evening. She looked back at her mother and smiled. “That would be great, Mom. Thanks.”

    Together, they made their way to the stables. While Jensine gathered the necessary tack, Brenna approached the quagga stall, speaking to him in a reassuring voice as she unlatched the stall door. Rico had been sleeping, though upon the Humans' entrance he gave an excited snort that made Brenna chuckle to herself as she led him out. They saddled him up quickly, and Brenna took comfort in the fact that her body knew how to do this task even when her mind had failed her. Soon she was securing the saddlebags while Jensine held the reins.

    There was an overturned barrel outside that was used to step up in order to mount, but Jensine offered to help instead, so Brenna accepted the offer. Once she was astride Rico's back, she felt the urge to be moving even more strongly than before, so she glanced down at her mother and opened her mouth to speak.

    But Jensine beat her to the punch. “I'll look after Iri until you get back, so there's no need to hurry,” she said with a business-like nod. “But don't take too long, or I'll spoil that little girl rotten.”

    Nodding, Brenna thought it was time to go, but before she nudged Rico with her heels she took a breath. “Mom?”

    Yes?”

    Brenna glanced down at her gloved hand that had started to toy with the tufted edge of Rico's mane before she was able to look back at her mother. “Thanks.”

    Jensine's reply was quiet. “I'm here for you, Brenna. Whenever you need me – and even when you don't want me around – I will always be here for you.”

    Something inside of her fractured a little more and she was filled with warmth despite the chill of the air. “I needed to hear that,” she heard herself saying. “Thank you.”

    The two women exchanged a long look, then Jensine cleared her throat and nodded to the moon-soaked horizon. “What are you waiting for?”


    There was the faintest edge of teasing to the words, and Brenna smiled as she nudged Rico's sides with her heels. She pointed him due east, and they were off in a flurry of hoofbeats and moonlight.

    *****​
    Next time: A campfire, and one of my favorite chapters ever. I may even post early...​
    Thank you for reading! [face_love]
     
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  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Oh, oh! Of all the years I've been reading fic, this scene between Irini and Brenna is now one of the toppers! Pure beautiful sweetness! ^:)^ Brenna's heart is melting like the Disney movie Frozen ;) Healing and gratefully accepting the kindnesses offered, as is shown by the mom-daughter moment, which gave me happy happy chills. Yes, and do post early! LOL

    ^:)^
     
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  6. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    Awwww! Mom-daughter bonding! My room just got really dusty, hang on a second...

    "“Rex, Mama,” Iri said with a sigh when Brenna didn't say anything more. “Daddy.”

    Right,” Brenna managed, blinking against a sudden prick of emotion behind her eyes. “Daddy.”

    Silly Mama.” Iri gave Brenna a somewhat exasperated look,--"

    LOL. Toddlers really are the best at the exasperated, "DUH!" eye-roll. Possibly more so than teenagers.
     
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  7. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    @Nyota's Heart: I failed miserably at updating early, and for that, I apologize. ^:)^ But I hope the fluff of this chapter makes up for it, at least a little! @};- Thank you for the comment! I'm so glad you liked that Brenna/Iri moment. [face_love]
    @gracesonnet: Ha! If you want some eye-rolling, just wait until Iri is a teenager... ;) Thank you for the comment! [:D]


    *****​

    Chapter Twenty-Five

    Even close to the campfire he was creating, cold seeped past the barrier of Rex's insulated jacket and gloves, but he didn't mind the feeling. Like the moonlight that cast everything in silver, the chill sharpened his senses and made him more alert, because out here, under the open, endless sky, he could truly breathe. He could think, not about all the pieces of his life that were crumbling to dust in his hands, but about simple things. Things he could do something about.

    Things like the anooba.

    In the back of his mind, Rex knew that part of the reason he was so caught up with finding the kriffing creature was because it was a distraction from his other, more pressing problems. Perhaps it was also a way for him to exert some kind of control over his discordant life, but he'd pushed the thoughts aside in order to focus on his self-appointed task.

    The kriffing thing had eluded him, again. Rex had done nearly a full sweep of this section of the Damaris' land until he realized that the predator was nowhere to be found. He'd debated returning to the ranch, then decided to remain out here, setting up camp for the night, just in case the mountain anooba thought it was safe to make an appearance.

    A few meters to his right, well within the glowing perimeter of the portable heat-lamps that he'd brought, Nova stood, head dropped and one rear hoof cocked in her sleep, and the quagga's peaceful stance alerted Rex to the fact that the anooba was probably not in the immediate vicinity. Nor would it return, probably, given his presence and that of the fire, which most wild creatures feared.

    However, even if it did choose to show up, he was ready. His blaster-rifle was charged and at his side, and as Rex leaned over the beginnings of his campfire – built more for the comforting glow than the heat, which was provided by the lamps – he felt slightly more at ease. Above his head, the part of the sky that was not soaked in the pale light of the moon was coated with stars, as though someone had cast handfuls of sugar across a rich, dark cloth. The omnipresent Alderaani wind teased his jacket and toyed with the edges of his hat as it rested on his folded knee.

    Before him, the flames that he'd coaxed from a bundle of dried kindling began to lick upward in earnest, greedily consuming the timber and growing brighter with each moment. When he was satisfied that the fire would not die anytime soon, Rex sat back on the blanket he'd brought and exhaled as he looked up at the stars. It was nice – more than nice, actually – out here, but despite his best efforts, he could take little comfort in the open sky, not like he used to. While the lamps provided relative warmth, beneath the blanket the ground was cold, hard and unforgiving, and he considered retiring to his tent and trying to sleep, though he remained in place.

    He missed Bren.

    It didn't matter that he heard her voice every day or was able to sit beside her at dinner, because he was starting to understand that the woman he'd fallen in love with was truly gone, and he didn't know what he was going to do without her.

    I wanted us to be a family, he thought, frowning at the fire that could do nothing to warm him. But it's not going to happen, is it? At least not like I hoped. She was so wary and he was terrified of hurting her again, but keeping his distance like this-

    It was hard. Harder than anything else he'd ever had to do, and it felt wrong, besides. But what did he know of what she was going through? Rex was a clone. His entire existence was based on the sum of his experience and memories, and he honestly had no idea what he would do if those things – his very identity – were taken away from him. Even knowledge of the clone army's true purpose had not diminished his love for his brothers or his fighting spirit, though it had caused a huge blow to the man he'd thought he'd been.

    But Rex thought in a lot of ways he was a new man, now.

    He wanted to help Brenna, somehow, he just had no kriffing idea how, and it was starting to be more than he could bear to watch her look at him and know that she was seeing a stranger. He wanted to embrace her, tell her he loved her no matter what and then kiss her senseless, but he was certain that such a thing would only cause more problems than not. In his mind, it didn't matter what he wanted, only what she needed, and he thought that such a thing was not him trying to rush her into remembering what she couldn't, or force her to just accept that they were a family, and go about their lives like everything was normal.

    But nothing was normal. He wanted to believe that things would be better, but it was difficult, especially with the woman he loved hurting so much, and with the lack of a cure for his brothers' rapid-aging. Rex felt the weight of that realization settle over him anew. He'd failed Bren, failed his brothers. Only Iri seemed to have come out of things unscathed, though he would have given anything, anything, for her to have her mother whole and healthy again.

    Nova's soft whicker broke him out of his thoughts, and he watched as the quagga lifted her head, nostrils flaring and ears pricked forward. A heartbeat later, the rhythmic sound of hooves against the cold ground reached him, and he was on his feet in one fluid motion as the other rider approached.

    It only took him a moment to register Bren's figure atop the other quagga, and his heart leaped into his throat as he watched her ride up, pausing about a meter outside of the perimeter of the heat-lamps' warm glow. She was dressed in a similar manner to himself: long, woolen coat, gloves and a scarf, though her head was uncovered and her hair was lifting around her face with the wind. Her skin was creamy pale in the moonlight and she was so beautiful he suddenly couldn't look at her directly, so he stepped over and held her quagga – Rico, he realized – as she dismounted.

    Brenna said nothing to him at first, only reached for the nearest saddlebag and began to rummage through its contents, while he gathered Rico's reins and tried not to seem like he was scrutinizing her every movement. What was she doing out here? His mind went to their daughter at first, but if there'd been a real problem with Iri, Brenna likely would have comm'd, or sent one of his brothers out on a speeder to retrieve him. Just as he was about to ask her what was going on, she withdrew a canvas bag and glanced back his way.

    You weren't at the house for dinner,” she said as her gloved hand tightened around the bag. “I thought you might be hungry.”

    He had rations, of course, but the idea that she'd brought him something to eat was heartening, so Rex indicated the blanket where he'd been siting a moment ago, and within a few moments they were seated beside one another, close but not touching, and she was pulling out a variety of plasti-containers. Soon they had an assortment of food between them, and after she handed him a fork, he thanked her, removed his gloves, and began to eat.

    The first container held an assortment of roasted vegetables mixed with chunks of savory nerf, and it was delicious, but his attention was too heavily pulled towards her for him to really focus on the meal. Brenna sat cross-legged, arms folded and resting on her knees, and her face was turned up to the stars. The moon and the fire's glow cast her in silver and gold, and for one moment she looked ethereal, unattainable as a star, but far more beautiful. A slip of wind toyed with the edges of her hair and scarf, causing her hands to lift and rub at her upper arms, and it took every ounce of his self-control to keep from dropping his food and embracing her in the hope of staving off the chill.

    Brenna was no Jedi, no mind-reader, but Rex liked to think that on some level she still knew him well, so when she glanced at him as if she understood his desire he tried not to seem too eager. When she spoke, her words were quiet against the wind and the darkness beyond the fire. “I don't remember how we met.”

    From what they could tell, some memories were returning to her, but it was only after she discussed them with someone else who'd been present at the time. She'd been so busy with Iri and with trying to put her own mind back together, he'd been reluctant to push her to remember anything about the two of them, so he chose his words with care and tried to hold his excitement back.

    The fork was nearly to his mouth, but he set it down and cleared his throat while he formed his reply. “It was on a Republic warship called the Resolute, just over a year ago.”

    Her forehead creased as she studied him, and after a moment she frowned down at her gloves. “I don't know...that doesn't seem right, somehow.”

    No,” he said, wincing at his mistake, made in eagerness. “You're right. We met in a cantina, though we were both serving on the Resolute at the time.”

    A moment passed, and she frowned again. “We met in a cantina...on Toydaria? No,” she added, shaking her head. “Not Toydaria...”

    Rex sighed and glanced down at his fork. “Mimban. You're thinking of what we drank. Toydarian Teases.”

    Oh.” She looked thoughtful, then actually gave a soft chuckle. “You got drunk, right? And tried to kiss me?”

    I was kind of hoping that you wouldn't remember that, of all things,” he replied before he could stop himself. However, the instant the words left his mouth he froze, because he didn't think that teasing her – even gently – about her affliction was the best course of action.

    But she startled him with her laughter, bright as any fire, and he watched the way her eyes crinkled in amusement when she looked at him. “I remember you nearly fell off of the barstool,” she said, giggling in earnest. “And you turned this odd shade of green.”

    Don't remind me,” he said with an eye-roll, though he was inwardly delighted at her reaction, for now she was grinning at him, back straight while her hands rested in her lap; her eyes were alert and her expression was open and eager.

    Feeling hopeful in the direction the conversation had taken, Rex tried to keep the mood casual, so he selected another bite of dinner while he considered his next words. “It wasn't one of my prouder moments,” he said at last. “I thought I'd botched the whole encounter.”

    She shrugged. “Maybe you did, but apparently I didn't hold it against you for too long.” There was quiet for a moment more while she seemed to think something over, then she shot him a curious look. “Why do I keep thinking about ration cubes?”

    Meal finished, Rex set the container and fork aside, but did not replace his gloves. “That would be because of a joke I played on you on our...second date.”

    Her brows lifted. “A joke? You?”

    Stranger things have been known to happen,” he replied with a half-smile that he knew she liked. Indeed, he watched her return the look as he elaborated. “If you've forgotten how they taste, I envy you.”

    Bren made a noise of displeasure and her nose wrinkled. “Unfortunately not. That's one of the things that stuck, I guess.”

    Despite her words he could read amusement in her eyes, so he gave a shrug and an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that.”

    Neither one spoke for a few minutes as they watched the fire, which had grown a bit stronger as the time had passed. Rex spared a moment to glance around their immediate area and assess the condition of the camp, the quagga, and the terrain: all appeared to be well. When he looked back at Brenna, she was watching him with an expression he didn't know how to read, anymore.

    You taught me how to fight. Didn't you?”

    He felt a flash of heat course through him, though whether it was anger or embarrassment, he couldn't have said. Perhaps something of both. His hands were starting to get cold, but rather than replace his gloves, he held them, palms up, to the fire. “I wanted you to be able to protect yourself,” he replied. The anger heightened and the embarrassment merged to chagrin, and his hands trembled for all that he tried to keep them steady. “But I failed you.”

    Rex-”

    I'm sorry, Brenna,” he said, dropping his hands and looking back at her. “I have failed you, again and again, and there's nothing I can do to make it right.”

    Suddenly she was leaning forward and her hand was on his; the touch of her knitted gloves over his skin was warm and her eyes were fixed on his own. “No, Rex,” she said in a deliberate voice. “Because of what you taught me, I was able to defend myself. I was able to kill Arcas and get away, get back here. From a certain point of view, you saved me.”

    You've never killed anyone before,” he replied, shaking his head. Her touch was welcome, but he couldn't let himself forget the severity of the change within her in the wake of other, more pleasant distractions. “Bren...it wasn't supposed to be like this, for you. I may have taught you how to fight, but I never wanted you to have to do it. It's my job to keep you safe.”

    We can't choose what happens to us, sometimes,” she said, the words quiet against the crackling of the fire. “Only how we deal with it. I did what I had to do to get back to...you.”

    Her features softened as she looked at him, and he felt himself trembling from the effort of holding back, of keeping his own selfish desires in check. He had to restrain himself, for her sake. It was the honorable thing to do. It was the right thing to do, especially when he'd faltered at every other step of this journey.

    Brenna was no mind-reader, but she knew him well, perhaps in a way that surpassed any sort of memory. Her next words, softly spoken, confirmed his hope, fragile that it still was. “You didn't fail me, Rex.”

    With that, something broke inside of him. The restraint that he'd worked so hard to fortify fell away, and he gave up, reached for her, cupping her face with his ungloved hand and hoping his fingers weren't too cold against her skin because he couldn't hold himself back any longer. He tried to keep the kiss light and gentle, but the floodgates within him were down and all of his careful restraint was gone, so he kissed her like it was his last day alive.

    Rex let go, and in doing so held her close.

    She tasted like Bren, like the woman he loved, and she did not pull away. No, she returned the kiss with a passion that matched his own, and for its duration everything else fell away and they were simply you and me again. Rex's senses swam with Brenna, with her taste, her warmth and her scent, and when he felt her hands reach around the back of his head in an effort to be closer, relief was nearly his undoing.

    When they parted to take a breath, he twined his hands in her hair and murmured her name, still half-terrified that he'd gone too far, but still unable to help himself. Everything he'd felt for her, every hope he'd had about the life they could share...they flooded his heart and overran his mind, and he knew he could not hold back any longer. She had to know; he had to tell her.

    I love you,” he said in a voice that was too hoarse to be recognizable, and he pressed their foreheads together as if he could transfer his feelings to her through their skin. “Bren, I love you so much, and I miss you more than I can even say, and I'm sorry if this is the wrong thing to do right now, if it's too much too quickly, but I can't hold back any-”

    Rex.” Her own voice was breathless and she clasped her hands to his cheeks; their breath mingled between them and her eyes were bright with something that was not firelight. “Stop talking and kiss me again. Please.”

    He did.

    *

    When Rex kissed her, the pieces of Brenna's memory did not fall back into place.

    But it didn't matter.

    In that moment, with his hands on her skin – a touch that had been absent for far too long – and his taste on her lips, she felt more right than she had since this entire ordeal had begun, and she didn't care that she couldn't remember much, because she had Rex and he had her, and in this moment, it was more than enough. It was everything.

    She didn't want to breathe ever again because she never wanted to stop kissing him. Indeed, they parted for a brief gasp of air but she pulled him close again as soon as she could, because she couldn't get enough of his taste, his smell. These things were familiar in a way that went beyond memory, as if Rex's very essence was indelibly written on some part of her consciousness, so that the act of kissing him was like coming home.

    But breathing, as it turned out, was a necessity, and just when Brenna felt herself growing a bit lightheaded, Rex pulled back so that they could both catch their breath, though their faces were still close. The campfire beside them tinted his eyes a rich gold, and his gaze on her was filled with love and longing as he held her so that their bodies were pressed close together while they remained seated.

    Neither of them spoke for a moment, until he kissed her cheek once, gently. “Do you know how much I've missed you?”

    The baritone resonance of his voice sent a shiver through her body, and she felt his arms slip down her back, settling above the curve of her hips. It was an intimate touch, one that was – she realized – wholly welcome. She felt like she belonged here. She felt loved.

    Brenna leaned forward, shifting so that she was nearly in his lap, and rested her head against his shoulder while her left hand dropped to the front of his jacket, coming to rest at the place just above his heart, and she savored the way he smelled of leather and starlight. She inhaled, then looked up at him again. “I've missed you, too.”

    At her words, both of his eyes opened fully upon her, and again she was struck by their color, so like her daughter's: amber, rich and warm, and filled with love. There was only a brief pause before his head dropped and he pressed his lips to her jawline, as if he couldn't stand to be even more than a breath away from her right now.

    As he did so, she remembered something. After pausing to remove her gloves, she skimmed her fingers across his jacket, over the place where his heart was sheltered. It was difficult to focus with him so close, with his hands caressing her hips and his mouth lightly kissing the sensitive skin of her neck that peered above her scarf, but she managed.

    A scar,” she murmured, the word causing him to grow still. “You have a scar, here. From-” She looked up at him in thought; the memories were so faded, torn like a flag fraying in the wind, but the strength of his embrace and the overwhelming love in his gaze gave her a new kind of assurance. “From a sniper.”

    Rex's breath caught and he nodded, his brow creasing as he regarded her, as if he was not quite certain if this was real, as if any moment he'd wake up and this would all be a dream. “Yes.”

    As she studied him, Brenna lifted her hand and traced two invisible, triangle patterns on his forehead, above each eye. His eyes closed briefly beneath her touch, and she considered her words for one more moment before giving them voice. “You had markings on your helmet,” she murmured, watching him as he looked at her. “In blue. They meant that you're brave, right?”

    Jaig eyes,” he replied with a nod. “I got them on Kamino.”

    I love you,” she said, more to reassure him than herself, but she felt heartened by the words, anyway.

    He slipped his right hand up to touch her cheek, his thumb grazing across her lips once before he kissed her gently. “Say it again?”

    I love you, Rex.” Her voice was still strange, heavy with wonder. It didn't sound quite like her own, but that was okay. This was right.

    Brenna reached for him again, because it even the few minutes that had passed since they'd last kissed were too long, and she needed to feel his mouth on hers once more. She whispered the words again, then kissed him as soundly as she could, delighting in the eagerness with which he returned the action, and for the first time in too long she was not afraid of the past or the future, because the present was everything she needed.

    *****


    This is one of those scenes I've had in my head since the beginning of this story.

    Next time: More fluff. You've earned it. :)
     
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  8. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Well. That was wayyyyyyyy worth the wait. Loved and did notice that Bren's memories come back with the no-pressure, conversational approach. :) And that her rightness with Rex is as visceral and marrow-deep as it was /is with Irini. (Awww.) [face_dancing]

    SQUEEEEEEE! out. Loud. That was one of the best mush scenes I've read, and girl, let me tell you, I've read a bunch! As many as I can get my hands on! =D= :* [:D]

    Thank-you for the nummy read!
     
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  9. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    Awwwww!
     
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  10. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    @Nyota's Heart: Love conquers all, even if it's not in a way we expect. [face_love] I'm thrilled you enjoyed this scene, and thank you - a million times over - for your kind words and support! [:D]
    @gracesonnet: That about sums it up! :D
    *****​
    Chapter Twenty-Six

    When Brenna woke the next morning, the world was luminous.

    The tent that surrounded her and Rex was well-insulated, but not quite opaque enough to prevent the sunlight from reaching through the material and casting it in a golden glow. Last night, beneath the moon and the stars, everything had been silvery-cool, but now Brenna was bathed in gilded beams of light.

    Rex was curled behind her, holding her close to his bare chest; both of them were beneath layers of blankets and despite the chilly temperature of the air, she was actually very warm. Savoring the feel of his body against hers, she snuggled back into him a little bit more and smiled when he gave a drowsy, wordless murmur and pulled her even closer. Positioned as they were, she could feel the faint exhalation of his breath on her ear and the steady pulse of his heart from where his chest was pressed into her back.

    She knew he was awake when he began kissing her, so she tilted her head around to look at him, still not quite daring to believe the moment was real. It was difficult to kiss him properly from this angle, so she twisted her body around so that she was fully facing him. The sunlight that filtered in through the tent was turning him gold as well, and as he was still blinking sleep out of his eyes he smiled at her.

    Good morning,” she whispered.

    Yes, it is.”

    Her reply was lost in another kiss and she was filled with the same sense of rightness that she'd felt the previous night, because she wasn't alone, because she loved and was loved in return. The understanding gave her a foothold with which to find her balance, and the things that had been weighing so heavily upon her – while they didn't fall away – were easier to bear knowing that Rex was here.

    After a few more minutes of idling, he pulled back a little and gave her an appraising look. “Are you...how are you?”

    Something had changed last night. Something that had broken between them had been rebuilt, and she hoped that they were stronger now than they had been before. “I'm...happy,” she replied, watching as he studied her. “Right now, I'm kind of in heaven, actually.”

    A shadow crossed his face, but it was fleeting. She thought that he was reluctant to say his next words, for it took him a moment to speak. “I'm happy, too. But...do you remember anything more? Aside from what we talked about, I mean.”

    She concentrated, but there were no new memories aside from the few she'd been able to call up through her conversation with Rex last night. The bulk of her memories had not returned and she tried not to be disappointed. “No, I don't.”

    There was a moment where she was worried she'd let him down, somehow, but he kissed her cheek tenderly and embraced her again. “We'll keep going, Bren. No matter what.”

    Together?”

    His embrace strengthened. “Together.”

    Brenna smiled, then pressed her cheek against his chest. They remained so for a few more minutes, watching as the light filtering in the tent grew brighter. If she listened carefully, she could hear the meadowlarks calling to the dawn, the sound underwritten with Rex's steady breathing.

    She could feel the outline of his scars, most notably the one that was nearly right above his heart. A sniper, back in his army days...she repressed a shiver at the mental image of Rex falling in battle, and she was struck with the realization that their lives – life in general, she supposed – were so fragile, so fleeting. Anything could destroy what they'd worked hard to build. The hycosine's effects had nearly done so, and even now, in his arms, she wasn't completely sure they could rebuild what had been lost.

    But one thing was certain. She had her daughter, she had Rex; she had everything. It was true last night and it was true now. This close, Brenna could feel the rhythmic cadence of his heartbeat.

    Together. Ultimately, it was all that mattered.

    Maybe they would never be able to return to what they'd once had, but she thought – she hoped – they could perhaps make something new, something stronger.

    As she was turning her head up to him to try and voice some of this, he beat her to the punch.

    Brenna, I want to marry you,” he said suddenly. The blankets shifted as he pulled back enough to regard her. His eyes still looked golden in the morning light entering the tent and his heartbeat was still so steady.

    Her breath caught at the words even as something inside her heart unfurled. Maybe he mistook her lack of speech for reluctance, for he continued after a moment. “In a lot of ways, nothing's changed. I still can't offer you anything more than before. I can't promise you a long life together. I can't say that I won't grow old and die well before you, but that doesn't matter so much, any more. This-” His arms tightened around her again, then relaxed. “-is what matters to me. I know that I love you and Iri. I know that I want to spend however much longer I have with both of you.”

    Here he paused, like he was gathering the strength to say the next words. “And I want to have more children with you...if you want to, that is. If not, then that's fine as well.” His gaze on her turned hopeful and slightly chagrined, and the expression made her heart swell with love for this man. “You wanted to marry me, before all of this, but I...I wasn't ready, I guess. And now...I know that a lot of things haven't changed, but I'm different. I'm stronger; I can be the man you need me to be – the man I want to be-”

    Rex-”

    Her voice was hushed; she didn't think he'd even heard her, because he continued speaking as if he simply couldn't stop himself. “I know it's probably selfish of me to even ask you something like this, when you're still healing, but I can't hold back any more. So...do you think that you'd still want to?”

    When the stream of words stopped she was at a loss, so she only blinked at him. “Do I still want to marry you?”

    As he nodded, his expression shifted to one of uncertainty, though hope remained as he waited. In her mind's eye she could see the gleam of the two silver rings she'd found tucked in her belongings, after her rescue from Arcas. It made sense, now. Before Arcas, before the hycosine, she'd wanted to marry him, but he hadn't wanted the same thing, or he hadn't been sure, or had any number of doubts; his comment about “growing old” reminded her that the clones' life-span had been unnaturally shortened, and she figured Rex had been reluctant to make a commitment to her and Iri based on that fact.

    But he, like her, had seemed to come to a new understanding.

    But was it enough? A part of her was still afraid to trust him, or her own, fractured mind, but it was a smaller part that was growing easier to ignore. Rex's arms around her helped, as did the unabashed affection that she could see in his eyes, matched as it was by uncertainty of her answer.

    I can't let fear control me any longer, she thought, and took a deep breath. I have to trust. Brenna met his gaze and nodded. “I do.”

    *

    At her words, Rex's heart skidded to a halt, then began to beat furiously as joy and relief warred within him. Brenna paused, then sat up, wrapping one of the blankets they shared around her waist.

    I want you, Rex,” she added, as though heedless of the way he'd stopped breathing in order to better hear her answer above the thundering of his heart. “I want you to be Iri's father, and I want us to be a family. Everything else is just...” Her brow furrowed as she considered her words and he sat up too, slowly, still not quite daring to believe what he was hearing. “Extra,” she finished. “Not as important.”

    But your memories are important,” he replied, reaching for her hand. It was still warm in the tent, though he knew that outside the morning air would still be chilly. In here, though, it was as if they were in their own world.

    She squeezed his hand back. Her hair was tousled and there were creases on her cheek from sleeping while pressed against a blanket. Rex could smell her on his skin. “I know they are,” she said with a faint smile. “But if they don't come back...maybe it means I just have to make new ones. What matters is that I get to make them with you.”

    Bren...you're sure?”

    At this she exhaled as if in frustration and cast her eyes above their heads, where the sunlight was still streaming in through the canvas of the tent. When she looked back at him, her smile was wider. “Yes.”

    Force, he wanted this, but it was in his nature to be completely forthright, so he reached forward with his free hand and smoothed back a strand of her hair. “Bren...Nala Se can't cure the clones' rapid-aging,” he said in a quiet voice. Her breath caught and her eyes widened, but he continued before she could reply. “But right now...well, it doesn't seem to matter to me as much as it did, because it's more important to spend what time I do have with the woman I love.

    You can say 'no,' and it won't change a thing,” he added, ensuring that he was looking right into her eyes as he spoke. “Nothing – my aging included – changes how I feel about you or Iri. I need you to understand that, but I also need to know that you're coming into this with both eyes open, and not because I'm coercing you in any way, or because you just want things to be normal again.”

    I want to marry you, Rex,” she said very deliberately, lifting her chin but not breaking the gaze. “I want to be your wife, have your children, and be with you for as long as I can.” Following this, she gave him a sardonic look that was a little sharper than the Bren he remembered, but was still wholly her. “I can say it all again, if you like.”

    How much happiness could one man contain and still be whole? Rex thought he would dissolve with joy, but he managed was a light chuckle. “If I had my way, you'd never stop saying it.”

    Seemingly pleased with his answer, she grinned. “If I had my way, I'd marry you right here and now.”

    Something that Fives had told him weeks and weeks ago clicked in his brain, and he ran his thumb across her knuckles in thought. “Really?” At her nod, he took a breath, then glanced at her again. “How much of Mandalorian tradition do you remember?”

    Not very much,” she replied, giving him a curious look. “Why? Is there some special Mando engagement tradition that I'm not familiar with?”

    Actually...” Rex shifted so that he was sitting fully upright. He took both of her hands in his and laced their fingers together, watching her as she watched him. “Mandalorian culture is kind of the only heritage that we clones have,” he explained. “It's the culture of our progenitor, Jango Fett, and many of us adopted its values and language once we learned more about it.

    Mandalorians live in the moment,” he added, giving her hands a gentle squeeze. “They are warriors, above all else, and they recognize that life is fleeting and can end at any time, so they tend to make the most of the time they have.”

    His heart was beating strangely fast again, but it wasn't with nerves; it was that same, wild sense of joy and relief thrumming through his veins. “Bren, if I say a certain phrase in Mando'a and you repeat it back to me, we'll be married according to Mandalorian tradition.”

    Her brow arched. “That sounds...simple.”

    Why waste time?” he replied with a half-smile. However, another thought occurred to him and he felt some of his hope fade. “But you probably want your family here. Well,” he amended. “Not here, in this tent, but-”

    But she was shaking her head. “We need to make some new memories,” she said, and he felt her hands squeeze his. “Just the two of us. How does that phrase go?”

    Rex took a deep breath, as much to calm himself as to clear his head and remember how the words went. Finally he cleared his throat and spoke. “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi med'dinui an, mhi bha'juri verde.

    Her mouth opened but no sound came out, so he translated the words for her. “It means, 'we are one when we are together; we are one when we are apart. We will share everything we have, and we will raise warriors.'”

    The last word conjured an image of Iri, and Rex was filled with a new kind of resolve. No matter what, his daughter would grow up strong, if he had anything to say about it. He thought that Brenna had the same thought, for her mouth quirked into a smile, then she asked him to repeat the words, slower, so that she could get them right.

    Finally she squared her shoulders, took a breath, and spoke. It was harder for her to shape the language than it'd been for him – and her accent was terrible – but the intention was true, which was all that mattered, really. Still, it took her a few tries to get the words right, until: “Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi med'dinui an, mhi bha'juri verde. Third time's a charm?”

    Just a few words. It was so simple, really. It didn't change anything that had happened, but rather than feel despondent at the idea, the sense of rightness that Rex felt with Brenna only increased as he looked at her. He loved her, still. He'd never stopped, he never intended to stop. My wife.

    Nothing had changed, but everything was somehow different, clearer. This is how it feels, he thought as he stared at her. This is how it feels to be whole. If I die tomorrow, it'd be worth it, just for this moment.

    Rex? Did I get it right, this time?”

    Yeah,” he managed, feeling a huge grin coming on, the kind that was too big for his face. “You did.”

    She beamed at him, then took a breath. “So...what happens now?”

    In response, Rex untangled the fingers of his left hand from hers, reached up and cupped her cheek, drawing her close to him for a kiss. “The rest of our lives.”

    *****

    A/N: Shorter chapter today, but one of the most important in the story. (Also one of my favorites.) From here on out, the angst will be considerably less, though there's a little bit to come, as well as more adventure-y stuff. Oh, and more “plot” things will happen as well. ;)

    Wookieepedia provided the Mando'a marriage phrase and its translation.

    Thank you for reading!
     
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  11. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    SQUEEEEEEEEEE!



    I'm in a wedding in December and I'm kind of wishing it was like Rex and Brenna's now
     
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  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Num num num. LOL That was gorgeous. I loved both of their emotions. And the simplicity. [face_dancing] Straight and to the point. ;)

    ^:)^
     
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  13. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    @gracesonnet: Ha ha, I'm pretty envious of this wedding, too! "Real" weddings, (ie: not Mando ones), are a ton of work and time. Rex and Bren have the right idea! Thank you for the comment! [face_love]
    @Nyota's Heart: Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this; it was another of my favorite chapters. [face_love] [:D]
    A/N: I apologize for the delay in posting! I was out of town all weekend, so my schedule was all kriffed up. [face_hypnotized]


    *****
    Chapter Twenty-Seven
    A few hours later, they returned to the house, hand in hand.

    Despite the fact that they'd lingered a good while in the tent it was still relatively early, and Brenna thought that her family had decided to have an easy morning, for everyone – save Nala Se – was in the dining room, eating breakfast. When Brenna and Rex stepped through the door that led into the kitchen, her eyes fell on their daughter.

    Iri was in her booster-seat, happily demolishing a plate of scrambled nuna eggs before her, but the minute all eyes turned to Rex and Brenna, the toddler gave a squeal of delight. “Mama! Daddy!”

    Rex reached the little girl first, smiling as Iri said “Daddy” again and lifting her out of her seat so he could hug her; Brenna joined them and for a moment her world shrank to the two people beside her. She knew that the rest of their family was watching, but her only goal was to have her daughter in her arms again, because none of what had occurred between herself and Rex would be quite real until Iri was there, too. They were complete, the three of them.

    Good morning, sweetheart,” she said as Rex passed her their daughter – after giving Iri a kiss on her forehead – and she savored the little girl's warmth.

    'Morning, Mama,” Iri replied. There were bits of egg stuck to the front of her jumper, which Brenna swiped away with a brush of her fingers, then she looked up at Rex. He smiled at her, and she felt warm all over again. We will share everything we have, and we will raise warriors.

    A throat cleared behind them; when she turned, Brenna saw that everyone was watching the scene with varying degrees of amusement, though she also noted the looks of relief that were apparent on each of them. Fives spoke first. “I guess it's a good morning for you two, as well.”

    Marliss nudged his side but he only grinned at her. “What? Look at them!”

    You're right, Fives, they do look hungry,” Jensine said from her place beside Iri's booster-seat, indicating two empty seats at the table, which had been set with plates and utensils. “Well? What are you waiting for? Food's not getting any warmer.”

    The food was warm and filling, and everyone's mood seemed to pick up exponentially once they realized that something had changed for the better between Rex and Brenna, though no one asked either of them about any specifics. That would most likely alter later on, but for now it seemed that the others were content to give them their space. As she listened to the chatter of the clones, Brenna shot a smile at Rex, one that he returned.

    Earlier, while they'd been packing up the tent and the heat-lamps, they'd discussed telling their family about the latest development, but Brenna thought that she wanted their marriage to stay secret, for now. It was not because she didn't want anyone else to know, but rather because it was a new memory that she felt like she wanted to keep just between herself and Rex; this was something intimate that they could share and enjoy together, for a little while, anyway. It made her feel that much closer to him, and he to her, and she wanted to savor the feeling.

    Besides, the minute Jensine found out that she'd missed the opportunity to throw a wedding...

    Well, Brenna wasn't quite ready to face that conversation.

    Just as Brenna was attempting to get Iri to finish eating her eggs rather than play with them, Chopper glanced up at the doorway that led outside, his eyes tightening in a way that indicated he was uncertain of exactly how to react to what he was seeing. As the others followed his gaze, the door opened to reveal the slender form of Nala Se, standing at the edge of the threshold.

    Please forgive the interruption,” she said before anyone could speak. “But I thought it best to begin making arrangements for my departure as soon as possible.”

    Coric frowned. “Departure? Is there something else that you need?”

    We can get it for you,” Kix added, rising to his feet and approaching the Kaminoan. “Whatever you need...just say the word.”

    Nala Se blinked down at the medic, then looked at Rex. “You did not tell them.”

    Along with everyone else, Brenna glanced back at Rex and her husband inhaled deeply as he shook his head. Before he could speak, however, the Kaminoan continued, her voice smooth and unruffled as silk, as if she was unconcerned with the way the others' expressions grew increasingly startled with each word. “I have failed in my task. I require a compound that I cannot replicate, one for which there is no substitute, one that is – to my knowledge – only found on my home planet. Without it, there is no possibility that I can reverse your rapid-aging.”

    Here, the pitch of her voice wavered, indicating that she was not nearly as calm as she appeared. “If you give me the means to make a transmission, I will make arrangements for my departure at once.”

    Stunned silence filled the room as the Kaminoan turned and slipped back out the way she'd come, the old-style door clanging shut behind her. Finally, Rex spoke. “She told me last night. I know I should have let the rest of you know, but...”

    He trailed off and glanced at Brenna, who reached for his hand with both of hers, trying to offer her support. Across from them, Fives sighed and crossed his arms as Marliss reached around to rub at his back. “It's okay, Rex,” the former ARC said at last. “You have a pretty full plate.”

    Besides, it's not like knowing a few hours later makes much of a difference,” Jesse added, frowning. Kix and Coric said nothing, only seemed to grow very still and solemn, and Chopper picked at the food on his plate, his eyes fixed on the table. The adult, non-clones were looking at one another, clearly at a loss.

    Finally, Marliss took a deep breath; when she spoke, the words were clearly directed at Fives, but everyone seemed to listen. “We knew it was a long-shot, love,” she said, touching his chin and pulling his gaze towards her. “But it doesn't change anything for me.”

    Me either,” Brenna added with another look at Rex, who gave her a faint smile. “However long we have...I just want to spend it with you.”

    My husband, she thought, smiling at their for-now secret. As if he'd caught on to her thought, he dipped his head once in a nod and his free hand reached up to cover both of hers. The warmth of his skin reassured her like nothing else, and she felt her smile widen.

    Beyond Rex, she saw something warm and hopeful in her brother's eyes, though Caith remained silent while Edme ducked her head and spoke to Tavi. Brenna was reminded of how helpful they'd been with Iri – not just recently – so she decided that they should be repaid for their kindness, at least a little bit. It had been wonderful for her and Rex to spend some time just the two of them, and she thought that her brother and his wife would probably appreciate the same opportunity.

    Before Brenna could voice any of this, Jensine cleared her throat, causing everyone to glance her way. “Someone should go tell that long-neck that no one's kicking her out. She doesn't have to leave if she doesn't want to,” she said with a nod towards the door. “Which goes for the rest of you as well. You boys are part of the family, now, and this is your home for as long as you want it to be.”

    *

    Rex watched the expressions on his brothers' faces as Jensine spoke, and he could tell that her words had struck true. Even though he knew it was different for him, since he “belonged” here by virtue of his relationship with Brenna, it touched him beyond measure to know that his brothers were welcome to the same degree. The clones had settled in to life on Alderaan quite well, and he was pleased to know that it looked like a trend that would continue.

    Home. They belonged here. He belonged here, too, and despite the grim reality of Nala Se's news, Rex felt a swell of happiness at the notion of home, not to mention the memories of this morning...and last night.

    The others resumed speaking as they finished breakfast, but Rex cast a look at the woman beside him and watched as she shot him a smile. He smiled back and squeezed her hands with both of his. My wife.

    Although there were a number of chores that he'd planned on doing today, everything had changed now, and he didn't want to do anything but spend time with Brenna and Iri. With that thought, he leaned close to Bren and spoke in her ear. “It looks like a nice day outside...would you like to take a walk with me and Iri'ka, after breakfast?”

    Sounds wonderful,” she replied, her voice soft and her eyes alight with a happiness that he thought was equal to his own. “But would you mind if Tav comes along? I'd like to give Caith and Edme a chance to...”

    Rex lifted a brow and chuckled to himself as she grimaced at the mental image that had undoubtedly entered her brain. “...spend some time just the two of them,” she finished quickly. “You know, playing sabacc or something.”

    Sabacc,” Rex said with a solemn nod. “Of course. Sure, Tav's welcome with us.”

    After breakfast, when everyone was clearing the table and he was trying to clean most of Iri's breakfast off of her, he watched as Brenna approached her brother, pulling him to one side and speaking quietly. “I just wanted to thank you,” she said amidst the backdrop of clinking plates and the sound of running water. “You and Edme...you've both been a huge help to me and Rex, and I don't know that we can ever repay you.”

    Caith's eyes flicked to Rex but the bulk of his gaze remained on his sister. “You're family,” he said with a faint shake of his head. “All of you. There's no need to repay us, Bren.”

    Maybe,” Brenna replied, the tone of her voice indicating she was fighting back a smile. “Look...Rex, Iri and I are going to go on a walk for a few hours. Do you think that Tav might want to come?”

    Looking back down at his daughter, Rex sighed. For Force's sake, Iri had somehow managed to get bits of egg in her socks. Rex gave the toddler a stern look even as she blinked up at him innocently. “You are messy, Iri'ka.”

    Iri love Daddy,” she cooed in reply, and her smile widened.

    He sighed again as Brenna continued speaking to her brother. “It's just that Rex and I had a chance to talk this morning, on our own, and it was...”

    Her cheeks flushed and Rex had to chuckle even though both Bren and Caith looked a bit uncomfortable. Deciding to spare the siblings any more awkwardness, the former captain cleared his throat as he lifted Iri out of her booster-seat. “It was nice to spend some time just the two of us,” he said, tugging off the little girl's socks and watching as bits of scrambled nuna-egg fell to the floor. “Very nice. So we thought we'd try to repay you and Edme a little bit and take Tav for a few hours. If you want.”

    At the words, Caith looked thoughtful, then glanced behind him at Edme, who met his eyes and lifted a copper-colored brow even as their son sat up and began pleading with her to let him go with his aunt and Rex. “C'mon, Mom! Say yes! Dad...?”

    Sounds like he's on board,” Brenna's brother said with a laugh, then he nodded back to Rex and Brenna, his eyes softening once he looked at his sister. “I think we'll take you up on that. Thanks.”

    *

    Within the hour, Rex, Brenna, Irini and Tav were making their way along one of the gravel pathways that wound from the main house towards sloped, rolling pastures. The mountains rested beyond, their peaks gleaming with the snow that Rex had heard would reach the lowlands within a manner of weeks, when winter fell in earnest on this part of Alderaan.

    It was one of those days where the cloudless blue dome of the sky seemed even more vibrant because of the chill that was in the air, and the sun was warm on Rex's back as he walked beside Bren. Iri was between them, one of her hands in each of theirs, intermittently urging both of her parents to hoist her up in the air while Tav meandered ahead, pausing every few steps to survey the area through a pair or electrobinoculars that Rex had provided.

    Aside from the occasional shriek of delight from Iri and the whistle of wind against Rex's jacket, it was quiet. An inhale brought him the clean scent of the air; the wind that gusted around them seemed to sweep away the last remnants of the sorrow that had clung to him for far too long, and again he felt content, in spite of everything.

    In some respects it was a strange feeling, because – as he'd told Brenna that morning – in so many ways, nothing had changed. His and his brothers' rapid-aging had not been corrected; Bren's memory was not returning as quickly as he'd hoped – if it ever would completely – and he still didn't have any clue if he was doing what he should be doing as a parent, let alone a husband.

    But none of that mattered so much any more when he was with Bren and Iri, and the rest of those he'd come to call family. The idea struck him life itself was a learning process; well, if that was the case, he intended to learn as much as he could, in the time he had to do so.

    Up! Up!” Iri's voice broke him out of his reverie, and after casting Brenna a wry look, Rex tightened the muscles of his arm and hoisted his daughter so that her boots were dangling well off the gravel path. Bren did the same, and Irini let out a squeal of delight that made Rex chuckle. Beyond them, Tavi had paused in his survey of the sky to watch Iri's antics, and Rex recognized the hopeful look on the boy's face.

    When they set Iri back down, the toddler peered up between her parents, beaming. “Again?”

    How about Tav gets a turn?” Rex replied, nodding to the brown-haired boy, whose eyes lit up at the mention of his name. Iri pouted, but it was only for a moment, because in the next, Rex scooped her up and placed her on his shoulders, holding her steady with his free hand while he took Tavi's with the other. The boy handed Bren the electros, and soon Tavi was between Rex and Brenna, urging them to lift him up as high as possible.

    Tav was a bit heavier than Irini, but not by much, and Rex had to chuckle at the boy's whoops of delight at being lifted off the ground. “Again,” he shouted, tugging at Rex's hand the moment he was earthbound. “But higher this time. Please?”

    Rex and Brenna obliged. As he lifted, Rex caught Brenna's eyes and felt something stir within him, something he'd felt many times before in her presence: longing. He wanted this, what was between them now, but more as well. Perhaps some time ago he would have been ashamed at the feeling, but now he recognized it as a natural inclination, a desire to continue what they already had.

    They continued walking for several minutes. When the wind blew, he watched as strands of Bren's hair were tugged free of the elastic she'd used to gather it. As Bren lifted her hand free of Tavi's and began to collect it back into the holder, he felt Iri's body turn on his shoulders as she took in the scenery, and he ensured that his grip on her was still secure.

    You look like you have something on your mind,” Brenna said once she'd finished and taken her nephew's hand again. Her voice was quiet but still managed to reach him through the wind.

    He inhaled and tasted wind and sunlight, then smiled at her. “Sometimes I can't believe it's real.”

    What?”

    This life,” he said, nodding at nothing in particular. “You. Iri.”

    Brenna smiled at him. “I'm real, Rex. I can prove it, if you like.”

    This was said with an accompanying lift of her brow, and he chuckled. Tav tugged at his hand again, and as Rex and Brenna hefted the boy, Rex looked back at his wife. “Usually, though, it feels like this is the only thing that's real, and everything that happened before I came to Alderaan was the dream. Like when I came here...I woke up.”

    He paused, then took a breath and looked at the sky. “I don't think I ever told you about the time I met a clone named Cut Lawquane.”

    Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shrug. “Maybe,” she replied. “I don't know, I guess. The name doesn't sound familiar.” There was a question in her voice and he looked back her way. “He had a surname? How?”

    Rex squinted up at the sunlight. “He was a deserter.”

    Silence. He waited a moment then continued. “It was when the sniper gave me that one scar on my chest, actually. Jesse, Kix and Hardcase needed to leave me in safekeeping for the night; they found a small farm not far from where it happened, and convinced the owner to let me stay the night. Turns out the owner of the farm – a Twi'lek woman – was married to a brother. Cut.”

    Cut Lawquane,” Brenna said, adjusting the strap of the electrobinoculars across her shoulder with her free hand. “He was a farmer?”

    Yeah. Farming seemed to agree with him,” Rex replied, smiling at the memory. “I can understand why, now. At the time I thought...” His smile faded as he remembered his former self, the man who'd been startled to learn what more there was to fight for than a set of ideals, however powerful they might have been. “My first thought was that he was a coward who'd abandoned his post.”

    Brenna nodded, but said nothing as Tavi – bored with the conversation – urged the adults to hoist him up again. When they brought him back down, Rex continued. “By the time I left Saleucami...everything was different. Well,” he amended, shooting Brenna a half-smile. “It's probably more accurate to say that everything was the same, but I was different. And it wasn't just because Cut said a lot of stuff about freedom and choices – though it was damn insightful, especially to me, especially back then – but rather because I-”

    He broke off as Iri gave a shriek of excitement about something and began to kick her heels against his chest; he glanced around to see what had gotten his daughter so worked up, but didn't see anything, and after a moment, Rex looked back at his wife and continued. “That was the first time anyone had ever shown me an alternative to the life I'd been assigned. Cut had a wife and two children – adopted,” he added as Brenna's eyes widened. “They were Suu's when he met her, I guess. Anyway, he loved them like his own, and when I watched him, watched all of them together, as a family...”

    A sigh escaped him; it sounded far more maudlin than he felt, but it conveyed something of his feelings at the time. Brenna's reply was soft. “You wanted what he had.”

    Force help me, I did,” Rex admitted, his boots scuffing at the gravel as he walked. “I really did. But back then...it was only a dream, a fantasy. My life – my path – was laid out before me, and I knew that nothing I could do would ever change my fate. And it...hurt, to think that. So I didn't. I told myself that it was an impossibility, so it would be better for me, and for those who relied on me, not to dwell on something so distracting. I tried to channel that want into something else, something I thought was useful: a desire to protect those who had what I didn't. I thought, if I could fight to keep them safe, it would be enough.

    I never really talked about Cut,” he added after taking a breath. “Because after a while, I got so used to not thinking about Saleucami if I could help it. Later on, after you and I became...serious, it occurred to me that such a thing would be possible with you and Iri, but I still didn't want to think about it because in my mind, there was no way it would have worked out, no matter how badly I might have wanted it to. And it very nearly didn't.”

    At this, she exhaled and nodded; they'd spent a bit of time during the past few weeks going over Order 66, so that now he knew that she remembered most of those few, harrowing days. “I'm glad it did,” she said at last, her brown eyes warm on him. “We're lucky.”

    I think so, too,” he replied with a nod, his hand tightening on Iri's legs. “In a lot of ways, having you and Iri helped me get through all of that, because I had a home to make it to. I had my girls waiting for me.”

    A thrill of satisfaction moved through him when Brenna chuckled, and a moment later he continued. “Now I think I understand what Cut was trying to tell me, back then. When I was talking to him, I remember being so filled with conviction that remaining in the army was the right choice – the only choice – because I was part of something larger, fighting a war against evil and protecting future generations from something terrible. Now, I still think that those convictions are noble, but in the end, they're not real, especially not when I have a family to live for.”

    A family,” Brenna repeated, blinking rapidly as she regarded him, his words having apparently made her pause her steps. “Rex...”

    She said his name, but trailed off, so after a moment he spoke again, watching how the sunlight cast thousands of tiny, glimmering rainbows in her hair. “I meant what I said this morning, Bren. About our family. About making it...bigger.”

    At this, he nodded to Tavi; the boy was opening his mouth, probably to ask to be hoisted up again, so Rex and Brenna obliged, though he could see that his wife's mind was working over his words.

    This is nice, isn't it?” he heard himself adding as they set Tav back against the gravel. Iri on his shoulders was warm and familiar, and it was strange to him to think that he'd once been reluctant to hold her so. “Both of them, and us. It feels...right.”

    Brenna blinked, her eyes flickering from Iri to Tav and back to him, and Rex felt himself grow tense while he waited for her to reply. When she did not immediately do so, he swallowed his disappointment and opened his mouth to speak, but she gave a swift shake of her head, effectively silencing him. “Rex, I feel like I just got you back,” she said slowly. “It would probably be wise to wait a bit longer until we make our family...bigger.”

    Daddy! Look!” Iri was shrieking again, and Tav was tugging at his hand, but Rex hardly heard either of them as he watched Brenna toying with the electrobinoculars with her free hand.

    It's okay,” he replied, nodding once, when her eyes lifted to his. “I meant that, too. As long as we have each other and Iri, we have everything.”

    But she shook her head, and he saw she was smiling. “It would be wise to wait,” she said slowly, in a manner that made his breath catch. “But-”

    Daddy,” Iri said, slapping her palms against Rex's head as if trying to get his attention. “Look!”

    Aunt Bren, look!” Tav added simultaneously, which was when both Rex and Brenna turned to see what had caught the kids' attentions.

    A pair of wild thrantas had appeared in the sky, soaring towards the mountains on wide, leathery wings. The reptavians looked like no creatures Rex had ever seen: a mottled, grayish-brown color that somehow seemed bright against the blue sky, and even from this distance he could tell that they were impossibly large; sleek-bodied and graceful, they made their meandering way across the horizon, apparently not in much of a hurry.

    Wow,” Tavi said, his hand falling from Rex's as he shaded his eyes to better see the thrantas.

    Wow is right, kiddo,” Rex replied. Beside him, Bren lifted the electrobinoculars to her eyes and surveyed the creatures. After a moment, she slipped the strap from her shoulder and handed the electros to Rex, who peered through them, eager to get a better look, and as he did so, he gave a low whistle of amazement at their grace; even from this distance, he could tell that they were bigger than he'd first realized, and very powerful. “Balana thrantas, right?”

    Brenna nodded. “I think so, though to be honest, they all look similar to me.”

    Let me see,” Tavi asked, tugging at Rex's sleeve.

    As he offered the electros to Tav, Iri rested her cheek on the top of Rex's head, so that he could feel her jaw moving as she spoke. “Faan-taas?”

    Thrantas,” Brenna corrected as she came to stand beside Rex. She slipped her arm around his waist, as he did hers, and for a few moments the four of them watched the thrantas make their way towards the mountains, gliding on currents of air as if they were made of it. “They're so beautiful.”

    It was good to be close to her again, so Rex didn't bother to suppress his urge to kiss her cheek, even though Iri made a noise of protest when he turned away from the thrantas even for an instant. He sighed and looked back towards the wild creatures, though the bulk of his attention was now on his wife, and he kept trying to glance at her out of the corner of his eye.

    In response, Brenna took a deep breath and leaned over to speak in his ear. “It would be wise to wait to make our family bigger,” she murmured again while he faced the distant thrantas without seeing them. “But I also don't feel like waiting, any more.”

    Caith's advice from several months ago came back to him: It's so much worse to sacrifice what you have now for what might be, one day.

    Neither do I,” he replied as his heart-rate was kicked into a higher gear with her words. It was too much to hope for, too much to ask for, now. He had everything; he shouldn't long for more, but he did. Iri squirmed against his neck, her heels bouncing into his chest as she exclaimed over the thrantas, but all of Rex's attention was on his wife's words. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

    Her lips were so close to his ear, he felt rather than saw her smile. “I'm saying that maybe we can just...stop taking precautions and see what happens.”

    Now he had to look at her, regardless of Iri's protests. “You're sure?”

    Force help him, she was grinning and he could do nothing but return the look when she said, yes.


    *****

    A/N: The thranta sighting here is an echo of a moment in The Fighting Kind, when Rex is studying a painting in Brenna's cabin; a lot of this story is meant to echo or mirror parts of TFK, including bits of dialog and moments like these. :) The two fics are supposed to compliment each other in many ways.
     
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  14. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    I enjoyed the family and couple moments. And the heartfelt talk. :) Nala's news is sobering but now they have a new take on living: grabbing and savoring each precious second instead of hesitating and shying away from the joy of the moments together. @};-
     
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  15. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    Any mention of Cut is never a bad thing, in my opinion :)
     
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  16. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    @Nyota's Heart: Living in the moment and appreciating what you have is one of the main themes of this story. [face_love] Thank you so much for you support and comments! [:D]
    @gracesonnet: Heh. If you like a mention of Cut, you'll love an upcoming chapter! ;) Thank you for the comment! :)


    *****
    Chapter Twenty-Eight

    One week later...

    It was just after lunch, and Brenna was working in the section of the upstairs bedroom that she'd turned into her office. She'd managed to find a few freelance jobs that she could do from home, and was busying herself with analyzing rows of security codesfor AlderaTech, a planet-based business, searching for weak points where a savvy criminal might try to take advantage of. She was also trying not to think too hard about Arcas.

    Sometimes it was difficult to manage, but not right now, in part because she was listening to Rex and Iri. They were seated cross-legged on the bed that Brenna had been only too happy to share with Rex again, and he was reading to the toddler, pausing every so often as he asked Iri to try and read a word or two along with him.

    They were reading a holo-book that Edme had given the toddler; apparently it was one of Iri's favorites, and although the toddler said the words slowly, as if she were uncertain, Brenna felt a thrill of satisfaction whenever their daughter managed to get a word right. “But...my...oh-thar...oh-thar...hon...hon...honee...”

    The little girl sighed and trailed off. However, Brenna smiled as she heard the pride laced in Rex's reply. “Good, Iri, very good. It goes like this: But my other honey bee is stuck where he doesn't want to be. Poor guy.”

    Sad bee,” Iri agreed, the words followed by a soft beeping sound that indicated the toddler was activating the next image of the story.

    There was a beat, during which Brenna found herself getting lost in a particularly messy series of security codes that would most certainly need to be cleaned up, then she heard her husband continue. “Oh, my darling honey bee, I'll come save you, even if it means I'll have to face the queen. Can you say that last word, Iri'ka?”

    Kweeen.”

    Rex chuckled and there was a soft sound that Brenna thought meant he was tousling Iri's hair. “That's my girl.”

    He continued reading, but the words of the holo had caused Brenna's mind to jump from her task to something else entirely, and within moments she found herself scanning through what passed for the Empire's version of the HoloNet, searching for mentions of Kamino. The HoloNet of old had been mostly defunct, with its new purpose being an essentially military-only tool for communication, one that ordinary civilians weren't supposed to be able to access. But Bren was no ordinary civilian and she had little respect for the Empire's wishes.

    There. Her eyes narrowed as she located the name of the stormy planet, and within a few moments she was slicing away, figuring out what information she could access; information was a weapon, after all, and a potent one at that, and an idea – a wild, crazy idea – had been seeded in her mind. As Rex and Iri continued to read the honey bee holo, Brenna allowed herself to get lost in her work.

    She knew from their conversations that she had managed to help Fives and Tucker infiltrate a Republic prison and extract Rex, Jesse and Coric in the aftermath of Order 66. However, while none of them had known exactly how she'd managed to slice in to the RJC and distort their comm-channels, she did. Slicing, as she was learning, was practically ingrained in her body, and even if her conscious memory didn't recall the exact steps that were involved with infiltrating a government database like the one for the RJC, her body knew what to do.

    It was comforting, familiar, especially now when so many things still felt strange to her at times. Although Brenna was working to restore her memory, she figured that there was still much she couldn't recall; no matter how much the others told her, hoping to remind her, she thought that there were still pieces of her life that would be missing for a good, long while, if not forever.

    But this she could still do, and she realized that she very much wanted to apply her skills to something useful, something for the greater good. Perhaps, she mused, it would be a way to balance out the crimes she'd unwittingly committed under Arcas' influence. So, it was a relatively simple task for her to slice into the Imperial database in order to extract information on the planet Kamino.

    So, I'll come prepared,” Rex read, his voice calm and vaguely amused as Irini hummed a wordless tune along with the story, creating a pleasant backdrop to Brenna's work. “My new friends say will help me get my loved one back.”

    Kamino was firmly under Imperial control, there was no question of that. What was interesting was that there appeared to be nothing in the way of a blockade, as had apparently been the case during the days of the War. Getting to the planet would not be as difficult as she'd feared; landing might be another story...not to mention infiltrating the place where whatever Nala Se needed was located.

    Difficult, but hopefully not impossible. She sat up and blinked a few times, then twisted in her chair to regard her family. At the motion, Rex glanced up and met her eyes, while Iri's brows were knitted over the projected words of the holo.

    Pree...pree...pa...” Iri paused and looked up at Rex. “What word, Daddy?”

    Prepared,” he replied without looking, as his gaze was still on Brenna and growing decidedly curious.

    In response, she slid her chair back and stood up, stretching out her arms before stepping over to the bed to join them. It was good to recline for a moment, as her back had been starting to ache after being seated all day, so she laid back and watched her husband and daughter, the former of whom knew something was on her mind but was trying to be patient, because whatever it was didn't appear to be something that Brenna wanted to discuss in front of Iri.

    The Force must have been with them, because in the next moment Iri glanced up at Brenna. “Iri go potty,” she said with conviction, then she slid off the bed and made her way out the door, to the adjacent 'fresher.

    Once the door had closed, Brenna shot her husband a look of approval as he moved to lie beside her on the bed. “We're so lucky, you know. Ed told me that Tav wasn't potty-trained until he was nearly four.”

    Rex's mouth twitched with a smile, but his gaze on her was pure business. “You looked busy over there,” he said with a nod to her workstation. “Find anything interesting at AlderaTech?”

    Not really,” she replied, reaching out to put a hand on his waist so that she could pull him closer, and feeling a thrill of happiness as he complied. “But I did learn something about Kamino.”

    His body stilled and his eyes widened a fraction as she continued. “It's probably a long-shot, but do you think if we could get to Kamino we could find whatever it is that Nala Se needs to finish the rapid-aging cure?”

    That's a lot of 'ifs,'” he said, though she could see that his mind was already working the idea over. “If we could get there, if we could get in, if we could find what she needs, if we could get out and come back...”

    I think I could help,” she broke in, shifting so that her head was resting on her upturned hand, while her other hand toyed with his shirt. From behind the 'fresher door, they heard a flushing sound, so she added: “I know I could, at least with the getting in part.”

    Rex frowned, but it was not in disapproval; rather, it was the expression of someone in deep thought, through when the 'fresher door opened and Iri stepped out, his features smoothed into a smile as he watched their daughter approach the bed again. As she clambered up to join her parents, he exhaled and shot Brenna a thoughtful look. “I think we need to speak to the others.”

    *

    As it happened, it was not until later that evening when everyone could be together again, once the kids had been put to bed. Kix brought Nala Se into the dining room, where Brenna and the others were seated, waiting. The moment that the Kaminoan entered the room, all eyes fell to Rex, who'd taken over the bulk of the organization for this task and was currently standing at the head of the dining table, several datapads and a hand-held holo-projector resting before him.

    Thanks for coming,” he said with a nod to Nala Se, whose head dipped once in acknowledgment before she stood to one side, her hands folded before her. “That goes for all of you.”

    From his place between Chopper and Marliss, Fives gave a snort of amusement and nudged the scarred clone's side. “Am I having a flashback, or are we about to be in a briefing?”

    He certainly looks like he's about to start barking orders, doesn't he?” Jesse added with a chuckle, though Kix shushed the tattooed clone. Brenna glanced at her family, noting how they appeared interested, but slightly apprehensive as well.

    Rex spared a moment to raise his brow at Jesse, then cleared his throat. “As you all should be aware, Nala Se has reached an impasse in her work to find a cure for the clones' rapid-aging. By her own estimation, she has need of a...substance that is only available on Kamino.” He glanced at the Kaminoan as if in confirmation; she nodded and he continued. “After a bit of research and some slicing on Bren's part, we've determined that it may be possible for a small team to infiltrate the planet, acquire this missing component, and return to Alderaan.”

    Following this, silence hit the room like a thermal det, and Brenna glanced around her to gauge the others' reactions to the statement. Jensine was nodding, a hand on her chin and her expression thoughtful; Caith and Edme looked dubious, but interested; Marliss wore a strange sort of smile which seemed to indicate that she was already on-board with the idea. Nala Se did little more than tilt her head, though Brenna could see the gray of her eyes swirling as if she was agitated.

    As for the clones...

    Infiltrate Kamino?” Jesse said, his mouth hanging open. “Are you serious? And here I thought you were the sensible one, Rex!”

    There was a pretty substantial blockade there during the War,” Coric added as he drummed his fingers on the table, his expression skeptical. “How in the void could we hope to get past something like that?”

    Rex reached for the holo-projector and activated it, so that a display of Kamino was rotating slowly before them. “Bren managed to get a hold of some intel on that subject,” he said as he shot her a nod. “And from what we can tell, there's no blockade of the planet at this time.”

    The Empire still has cloning facilities, but they're not solely located on Kamino any longer,” Brenna added. “It looks like they're eventually planning to wind down the Fett cloning program, though they're still using the clones that were left there for the Imperial Army.”

    Okay, but getting to a planet and getting on a planet are two very different things,” Fives replied, his tone all business even though his knee had started to bounce with excitement. “I mean, Mar and I have a ship, but how would we physically get into...where is this stuff? Tipoca City?”

    This was directed at Nala Se, who blinked once and nodded. “Correct. I know the exact location of the compound that I require. In theory, I could guide you to it, though I myself cannot return to Kamino's surface.”

    So we'll need a secure comm-channel,” Brenna mused, leaning back in her chair. “Should be manageable.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her mother give her a look that was filled with something she identified as pride, and she felt herself smile, just a little bit.

    Kix cleared his throat, drawing all eyes his way. “Assuming we can reach Kamino and get into the city...how are we going to get to where we need to go? It's not like the lot of us can just walk up to the labs or wherever and knock on the door.”

    Unless...unless we can get a hold of some stormtrooper armor...” Fives mused, his eyes lighting up and his hand going to his goatee in thought. “The shinier, the better. There's still got to be thousands of clones there; who'd notice a few more?”

    Jesse gave a bark of laughter. “The one place we blend in as a group. Funny how that works out, isn't it?”

    There was an answering chortle at this, and the clones immediately burst into a cacophony of planning and speculation, all semblance of order having fled in the wake of their excitement. Even Rex was listening avidly, offering comments of his own as he leaned forward, hands braced on the table and eyes alight.

    There is another issue,” Nala Se said suddenly, her lilting voice quiet, but causing the clones to pause their talk and regard her. She waited a beat, then continued. “The location of the compound I require is a heavily secured lab in the lower sections. I once had the proper clearance to access it, but that was taken away when I was banished from my homeworld.”

    Brenna toyed with the hem of her shirt as she spoke. “So we'll need to slice into a security panel and get access to that room.” Nala Se nodded, and Brenna pursed her lips in thought. “It would have to be from on-planet; something that delicate would be too difficult to handle remotely.”

    At her words, all of the excitement faded from Rex's eyes as he looked at her, his head shaking before she'd even finished speaking. “No civilians on this mission, Bren.”

    Rex-”

    That's an order,” he added as if on instinct, but it was her turn to shake her head.

    You can't order me to do anything,” she replied. “And I love you, but you have no idea what you'll be dealing with as far as security goes. But I think – I know – I can handle it, especially with all the new equipment I have.”

    As she said the words, she was flooded with conviction, the kind she'd not felt in...well, she didn't know exactly how long, but she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was the right course of action. I can do something real, she thought, watching her husband struggling with his conflicting desires of keeping her safe and helping his brothers. I can help him, help all of them, and do something other than sit back and feel helpless.

    The worst part would be leaving Iri behind, but she'd done so before, back when she worked on the Resolute, and she had the utmost faith in those around her to not only ensure that their “mission” was a success, but that her daughter would be safe in the interim. It would be a gamble, but the stakes were too high to risk not attempting.

    I'm going to have to agree with Rex,” Caith said suddenly, crossing his arms and giving Brenna a worried look. “Bren...this all sounds incredibly dangerous. The guys are trained to handle this sort of thing, but you're not.”

    Marliss sat up and regarded Caith coolly. “Well, I'm going, and I'm a civilian. What?” she added as Fives shot her a startled look. “Of course I'm going. I'm a much better pilot than you, ARC-boy.”

    Caith frowned at her, but it was Kix who spoke next. “If she was piloting, Marliss would – I imagine – remain on the ship for the bulk of the mission. But Brenna would need to actually move through Tipoca City, somehow.”

    Too bad you can't wear clone armor, Bren,” Jesse said with an exhale. “That'd make things a bit easier.”

    Why can't she wear it?” Marliss replied, which immediately caused everyone to look at Brenna as if studying her closely.

    Jesse actually flushed, then coughed into his hand as he spoke, seeming to want to look anywhere but at Brenna – or Rex, for that matter. “Well, for one thing, Bren's got a bit more in the...erm, chest-area than us clones...”

    Breasts can be bound,” Edme said suddenly, ignoring the glares from Rex and Caith. Jensine looked torn between amusement and concern as Edme continued. “And I imagine we'd need to do something with your hair, too,” she added with a cursory look at Brenna. “It might not be comfortable to get you in a set of armor, but I think it's doable.”

    Kix also looked uncomfortable, but was clearly trying to work through the feeling in order to concentrate on the mission. “Yes, but even with those...precautions, you still don't look like a clone, Brenna. You'd need to keep your helmet on the entire time, and not speak-”

    -And you're not quite as tall as a clone,” Coric added. “That might be a problem, especially if you're traveling with a group of us. The fact that you look even a little different will be even more noticeable.”

    It doesn't have to be comfortable,” Brenna replied as excitement began to rush through her at the prospect. “As for my height....” She trailed off as she frowned, thinking.

    Before she could say anything further, Rex spoke up. “None of this matters, because the entire idea is ridiculous. We've gotten completely off-track from the original plan.”

    But Brenna could tell that the others had already latched on to the idea and that her husband would very likely be outvoted, should the decision come to that. Indeed, Jesse seemed not to be listening to the former captain at all as he speculated. “How would we even get armor in the first place?”

    Fives waved a hand, unconcerned. “I think I've got that covered...just need to make a quick comm to Mandalore. Mar and I have some buddies there who can help. Probably.”

    Following this, the others continued to debate and plan while Rex took a seat in silence, lines of tension clearly discernible on his face as he listened to his brothers. After a moment, Brenna leaned forward and spoke to him as if it were just the two of them in the room. “We both know that no one else can do this,” she said quietly, watching as he met her eyes. “Remember when you and Fives told me about Ithor? You made it sound like that mission would have failed if not for me.”

    They'd discussed the long-ago mission with her, and although she didn't remember exactly how it had all gone, a few things had come back to her: among them the sound of blaster-fire and Rex's voice in the darkness. She also remembered being terrified, but now, compared to what she'd experienced since, that feeling seemed insignificant.

    Rex's shoulders sank a little bit, which was when she knew he would eventually acquiesce, even though his next words were stubborn. “This is different. We're not at war any longer.”

    No, we're not,” she agreed. “But there's still so much at stake.”

    His breath caught; a beat later, his eyes closed but he said nothing.

    Rex,” Brenna touched his arm, causing him to look at her while the others talked around them, having apparently decided to give the couple a little bit of privacy. “You know that this is our best option.”

    A frown creased his features before he exhaled through his nose, but he put his hand over hers and squeezed. “Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.”

    *****

    A/N: A woman wearing clone armor might seem like a stretch, but I think/hope it's handled well-enough to be plausible. I have friends who are involved with the Mandalorian Mercs and the 501st, so I've learned a bit about some of the practical concerns that women have to deal with when wearing armor. More on that in future chapters. :)


    FYI, after next week's update, this fic will be taking a hiatus until January 5, 2015. I hope everyone has a lovely, safe and happy holiday season! [face_dancing]


    Next time: Rex has a decision to make, and it might cause some controversy.
     
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  17. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Superb plan and I love Bren's feeling of contributing and actually doing so. It sounds like a bold but doable plan. [face_thinking] I too am full of conviction that Brenna is capable of handling what needs doing. @};-
     
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  18. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    [going through withdrawal already]

    This is also such an awesome story. Of course Fives can get his hands on Imperial trooper armor. Why does anyone question these things?
    (I haven't read Karen Traviss' Republic Commando book so if Fives is referring to them, then yeah, that also makes sense).

    Have a great holiday season!
     
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  19. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    @Nyota's Heart: "Bold but doable." Great to hear! That's kind of the philosophy behind all my fics, lol. ;) Thank you for your kind words! [:D]
    @gracesonnet: Though I haven't read all of the the RepCom books either, they do make a nice "reason" for a lot of Fives' behind-the-scene activities - and abilities. Thank you! I hope you have a lovely season as well. [face_love] [face_party]

    *****​

    Chapter Twenty-Nine

    Rex rarely found himself missing the “old days,” but right now he would have given pretty much anything to be able to shout at the other clones and have them snap to attention and follow his orders without question. While he was glad that his brothers had found their independence, it was nothing short of infuriating to be overruled in this fashion, especially when so much was at stake. As he gave Bren's hand another squeeze he tried to find his sense of battle-calm again, because it was looking like he'd need it.

    From a purely logical standpoint, the armor idea was actually pretty clever. It wasn't fool-proof, but it sounded like something that Skywalker and Ahsoka would have come up with back in the day, and the tactical portion of his brain had already worked through the mechanics of getting Bren into a set of armor, getting her acclimated to moving around while wearing the kit; he thought that her height difference could be explained away by any number of factors – maturity being the most likely – and while she was certainly very feminine in form, she was slender enough so that the armor would not look totally out of place.

    But he still didn't want her to go.

    He knew that this was not a logical feeling. Rex was not stupid; he understood that his desire to keep the woman he loved from harm despite her being the perfect candidate for this mission was by no means practical. The soldier in him thought that the idea could work, with a little ingenuity and a lot of luck. The rest of him was working very hard to fight back the sheer, utter terror that she would be harmed – or worse – and it was not all because he knew that this mission would likely be dangerous.

    It was because when she'd told him what they both knew, that there was too much at stake, he'd realized that he couldn't go with her.

    Iri.

    If he did go with Bren, if the worst happened and the team didn't come back from this mission, Irini would not have either of them, and that was a risk that Rex was unwilling to take. As much as he wanted to stay by Bren's side, he knew beyond any doubt that he would not risk making his daughter an orphan. Even though he knew that Caith, Edme and Jensine would step up to the challenge of raising her, that wasn't the point.

    Right now, there was nothing more important to him than his daughter's happiness and well-being. Iri was his child, and there was no force in the galaxy that would be able to harm her while he could still draw a breath.

    But still.

    His eyes fell on his wife – his wife – again, and he could see the agitation in her gaze. “I don't have to like it,” he said again, still quietly. “But I understand it's the only way.”

    Brenna's features relaxed and she nodded, though he could see that she wasn't quite convinced by his words of assent. Around them, the others were still planning, debating, discussing, but Rex felt like time had slowed. He took another breath. “But we have to think about Iri.”

    She'll stay here,” Brenna replied immediately, her forehead creasing.

    Rex nodded. “I know. I'll be with her.” At his words, Brenna's eyes widened a bit, so he continued, forcing his voice to be calm because sometimes, if you faked it, you could even fool yourself. “She's already lost too much for such a little kid.”

    Tucker.” Bren said the name of Iri's biological father in a soft voice, and Rex inclined his head in agreement.

    “Yes, but more recently...her mother,” he added reluctantly, because she looked so stricken at his words. “Bren, you came back after what happened on Loronar, but if the worst happens...I can't risk leaving her with no one. Our daughter's well-being comes before everything else. It has to.”


    He watched as she considered for several moments before she touched his cheek, her eyes filled with affection. “Do you know how amazing you are?”

    You can tell me later,” he said with a half-smile. “Or show me. Or both. I'm very flexible.”

    Okay, I can't stand it any longer,” Fives' voice broke in, causing Rex and Brenna to look back at the others, which was when Rex realized that it had gotten very quiet in the dining room. “What are you two talking about over there?”

    Rex took a deep breath and sat upright in his chair, lacing his fingers together as he regarded his vode and the rest of his family. “Aside from Bren and Marliss, we need to determine who else will be going.”

    I must go, though the nature of my exile means that I will have to remain in the ship,” Nala Se said at once. “There is a device in my body that will detonate should I return to Kamino's surface.”

    Well, I'm sure as haran going to go,” Fives added with a pointed look at his wife. “Who knows what sort of trouble you'll get into without me around?” Following this, he shot a raised brow at Rex. “You too, I suppose?”

    No.” At the former captain's word, Fives visibly started, and Rex realized that a part of him still quite enjoyed catching his brother off-guard, though he pushed the feeling aside immediately. “I'm going to stay with my daughter. Kix and Coric: I want one of you to accompany the others. Same goes for you, Jess and Chopper.”

    Chopper, who'd been sitting more or less in silence, shifted at the mention of his name. “Imps do things a bit different than the GAR used to,” he said in a curt voice. “You'll need someone to show you the ropes.”

    Are you volunteering?” Coric asked. A pained look crossed the scarred clone's face, but he nodded once. At this, the former medic looked up at Rex. “I'm in, too.”

    Rex nodded to his brother and lifted his hands, ticking off the mission participants as he spoke, as much to organize his own thoughts as to make sure they were all on the same page. “So that's Brenna, Fives, Marliss, Coric, Chopper and Nala Se. Of the six of you, only four will be going planet-side – presuming Fives can get a hold of some stormie armor.”

    Four of us against the lot of them,” Fives said, rubbing his hands almost gleefully. “I almost feel sorry for the long-necks. Erm,” he glanced at Nala Se, who blinked at him. “No offense.”

    Kix's voice was thoughtful. “Only four? Should more of us go?”

    Don't want to over-complicate things,” Jesse replied. “Like Umbara, remember? It was easier for a small group to sneak around than a whole platoon.”

    As he listened to his brothers continue to plan and debate, Rex's stomach began to do an uncomfortable series of flips because the reality of the upcoming mission was sinking in, and he glanced at his wife again, wondering if he was being foolish by not wanting to leave Iri. What if Bren needed him? How in the void would he be able to protect her if he stayed behind? He'd lost her once...he didn't think he could bear it happening again.

    But she was engrossed in the conversation as well, and he remembered the excitement in her eyes when she spoke of using her talents for this goal; the realization struck him that she needed to do this, that perhaps it was yet another way for her to recover the missing pieces of herself, and he was loathe to deny her that chance.

    Brenna had to go. Rex had to stay. They was the only options he could see.

    Suddenly, he was exhausted. Rex sighed; a glance at his chrono indicated that it was getting rather late, so he stood up again, causing the others to quiet down and look his way. “Fives, when do you think you can find out about that armor? Pretty much the entire mission is riding on it.”

    Tomorrow,” the former ARC replied. “It shouldn't be a problem. Even if Mar and I have to go all the way to Mandalore, it shouldn't take more than a day or two.”

    I'll need about as much time to get my equipment ready,” Brenna added, ignoring the displeased look that her brother was shooting her way. Instead, she looked at the Kaminoan. “Will you help me?”

    Nala Se's head inclined towards the brown-haired woman in agreement, and Rex nodded in confirmation. “We'll spend the next few days in preparation; Fives, report to me once you've contacted your friends.” At his words, the former ARC straightened and offered a sharp salute, the formality belied by his grin, so Rex couldn't resist adding: “Dismissed.”

    As his brothers and Nala Se began to slip out of the room, Rex glanced at his wife, who gave him a smile that he didn't feel like returning, but managed, anyway. As they got to their feet, out of the corner of his eye he saw Caith murmur something to Edme, who nodded and left the room; moments later, Bren's brother and mother stepped towards Rex and Brenna, a myriad of questions clearly forthcoming.

    You boys certainly don't do anything half-assed,” Jensine said without preamble. Her arms were crossed before her chest and she was looking up at Rex with an expression that he couldn't quite gauge, which was a little troubling.

    But before he could answer, Brenna spoke. “This is important, Mom.”

    Jensine pursed her lips. “I didn't say it wasn't. I only meant that it's the first time I've gotten to see the boys in action – quite impressive. No wonder the ranch is running so well.”

    You're really not going?” Caith broke in, his eyes on the former captain. “You're really going to stay here?”

    The dining room, which had been full only moments ago, was strangely quiet. There was no accusation or derision in Caith's voice, but Rex could see fear in the other man's eyes, and he didn't fault Caith for being worried for his sister's well-being. Not when so much was at stake. Rex nodded. “Brenna's right,” he said slowly, glancing at her as he said the words. “Between the two of us, she's essential for this mission, and I'm not willing to leave Irini alone.”

    We'd take care of her,” Jensine said, her voice uncommonly soft. “Iri will always have a home, here.”

    I'm her father,” Rex replied, straightening his shoulders. “It's up to me to take care of her.” He saw no reason for any further explanation.

    Brenna spoke next, reaching an arm around Rex's waist as she did so; at her touch, his body relaxed a little bit, though he hadn't realized he'd been so tense. “Rex isn't making an easy choice, but I think it's the right one.”

    Caith studied Rex a long moment, then gave a slow nod, as if in approval, which sent a flare of satisfaction through the former captain.

    For her part, Jensine looked at her daughter. “You're sure you can do all of that...slicing stuff?”

    I am.” Brenna's reply was firm, and Rex felt her hand at his waist tighten a little bit when she continued. “Mom...I can make a difference. I can do something really good, here.”

    Yes, Rex knew it was good for her to do this, even though he could hardly stand the thought of her leaving Alderaan without him at her side.

    About twenty minutes later, they'd said good-night to Caith and Jensine, checked in on their sleeping daughter, and returned to their bedroom. Only when they were beneath the blankets and his wife was in his arms again did Rex feel truly relaxed, and for a little while he was torn between wanting to ravish her and simply enjoying her presence beside him, the sound of her breathing a comfort in the darkness.

    I wish you were going,” she said suddenly, and he felt her body turn to face him. “I know that your brothers will handle everything, but I'd still rather have you.”

    He felt his heart sink in his chest. “I can't leave our daughter.”

    I know,” she replied, kissing his cheek. “Trust me. As much as I wish you were going, I'm more comforted by the knowledge that you'll be here, with Iri, no matter what. Though,” she added in a wry voice. “I have every intention of returning home.”

    As she spoke, her breath was soft against his face, and he reached his hand up to skim down her cheek. After his eyes adjusted to the darkness of their room he could see her a little better, especially with the moonlight that was filtering in through the curtains. “How did you manage it?”

    Confusion crossed her features and he took a breath. “During the War. When I'd go off to fight and you were left behind. Kriff, you haven't even left yet, and I'm already dreading it. How did you handle that feeling and not go completely crazy with worry?”

    She gave him a sad smile. “I don't remember.”

    Shab. He winced at his error, but she ducked her head and pressed her cheek against his chest, as if she were listening to his heartbeat. “I'll have Fives and the others watching my back,” she added after a moment. “So I won't have to shoot any droids. I'm not going to be doing any fighting.”

    Hopefully. The word was unspoken, and Rex embraced her, holding her as close as he could. “I know that they'll keep you safe,” he said with a sigh. “But I just...it's not enough for me.”

    There was a beat, then she spoke again. “What about Ahsoka? If she's able, do you think she'd be willing to come?”

    It was a light clicking on inside of his head, and Rex's breath caught at the idea. Ahsoka. Of course...he'd not had a chance to comm her recently, but he thought that this mission was right up her hyperlane, assuming she was free and available to help. While the Togruta could not fit into a set of armor, Rex knew her Force senses would come in handy for any stealth-portion of the mission. “You're brilliant,” he said to Bren, shifting so that he could kiss her forehead. “I married a brilliant woman.”

    And I married an amazing man.”

    That you did,” he replied in a teasing voice, inwardly delighting at the levity in her words. “Ah...I believe you were going to show me just how amazing you think I am, weren't you?”

    She laughed. The sound was music to his ears because he thought she needed to laugh more, especially recently. Well, he knew a few ways to bring about such an end, so he maneuvered himself so that she was lying beneath him. Once he did, he took a moment to savor her eyes on his and the way her body seemed to glow in the moonlight. Love suffused him; he was overwhelmed with it and with gratitude because there was nothing better than this, than right now, and he realized again just how impossibly lucky he was. In so many ways.

    I'll get things started,” he offered right before he leaned down to kiss her, and there was no more serious talk for some time after that.

    *****

    A/N: So I kind of struggled with the idea of Rex staying behind while Bren goes off to Kamino. I realize that it runs counter to the fearless “Captain Rex” that we know and love from TCW, but my hope is that I've developed his character enough to make this decision a believable one.

    I'm not a parent, but my understanding is that – if you are one – there's nothing more important than the well-being of your child. Nothing. Not even your spouse, as difficult as it may be to feel that way, or understand the feeling. Hopefully Rex's motives for remaining behind are clear and plausible, even if you don't entirely agree. I've worked hard to ensure that this decision is the logical one based on how he's developed in this story, so please let me know what you think! :)

    No matter what, thank you for reading!


    Remember, this fic will be on hiatus until January 5, 2015. Have a fantastic holiday season, and see you next year! :D [face_dancing] [face_party]
     
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  20. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    laloga - That was definitely a hard choice for Rex but absolutely one I can understand. Ahsoka is an excellent addition to the group. :)

    ~

    Rex's sense of being torn was wonderfully detailed but his growth is clearly seen in how quickly he thought of Irini's well-being. @};-
     
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  21. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    So much squee-ing :)
     
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  22. Kahara

    Kahara FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    So now I've had the chance to catch up, and this is as awesome as ever! :) As painful as it was to read, the chapters covering Bren's escape and her re-adjusting to life on Alderaan are fantastic. It really brings us into feeling her anger and uncertainty in trying to figure out where she fits now. And I'm so glad to see things looking up for Bren and Rex again (basically, I just want to block-quote the last three chapters. :p) I'm excited to see what happens on the mission, even though it will be dangerous.



    [face_love] Nice to see them starting to rebuild their relationship with or without the full set of memories. Bren is getting to where she knows Rex well enough, even though she may not ever recall everything. The love and trust are there. So sweet with the Mando'a ceremony -- it's so simply done, but they've gone through so much to get there. (Jensine is so going to drag them through an Alderaanian wedding if they don't run fast enough, though. [face_laugh])




    Excuse me while I melt into a sugary pile of goo. :p This was one of my favorite parts!

    Thinking of ANH and this whole discussion is just hilarious. "Little short for a stormtrooper" and everything. :D


    Since you asked, yes at this point I buy Rex's reasoning for staying behind. Loved his conversations with Bren about it. Fives and the other clones know how to take care of themselves on a mission, and Iri only has one Rex and one Bren -- after all that happened recently, I can see how he'd feel the need to make sure she has at least one of her parents if all doesn't go well.
     
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  23. laloga

    laloga Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 2011
    Real Life got kinda crazy there for a bit - all good stuff, but time & energy consuming - so my hiatus went longer then planned. But in the immortal words of my favorite bending unit, "I'm back, baby!" [face_dancing] [face_party]
    @Nyota's Heart - Thank you for the comment! [face_love] I'm so glad Rex's choice came across as natural; I struggled with justifying it.​
    @gracesonnet - Who doesn't love a good squee? :D Thank you for reading!​
    @Kahara - Yay! I'm so glad you've enjoyed this fic so far. Brenna's kidnapping was difficult to write, but I think she's come out stronger. They really are turning into a family now. [face_love] Ha ha; "little short for a stormtrooper." You'll see that soon. I couldn't resist. ;) Thanks for the comment!​
    *****​
    Chapter Thirty

    Rex comm'd Ahsoka the next morning, via the secure comlink that Bren had given her back on the Resolute. After a perfunctory greeting – thankfully she remembered how much he detested small-talk – he explained a little of what his family hoped to accomplish, and before he'd gotten the entire idea out his former commander interrupted him with a sigh.

    His brows knitted; Brenna, who'd been dressing Iri, shot him a concerned look, but before he could say anything, Ahsoka spoke. “To answer the question you're about to ask, Rex,” she said, mock-irritation in her voice. “I'd love to help with the cure for your rapid-aging. When are you guys leaving?”

    Fives and his wife just left for Mandalore to collect some supplies we'll need,” he replied with a scowl at the thought of the former ARC. “They should return within a day or so.”

    In fact, his brother had woken up before the sun had even risen and gotten a hold of one of his nebulous “contacts,” only to burst into Rex and Brenna's room long enough to say that he and Mar were leaving that very moment, to return as soon as they could with “loads of stormie armor.” While neither Rex nor Brenna appreciated being disturbed in that fashion, the excitement in Fives' voice was almost enough to make Rex forgive the former ARC for the intrusion when he and his wife were both naked.

    Almost. Thank the Force Bren had been beneath the blankets at the time, though Rex had not been as fortunate and had – apparently – given Fives more of an eyeful than either man appreciated.

    There was a pause, then Ahsoka's voice rose in pitch. “His wife? He and Marliss...got hitched?”

    Brenna made an odd sort of choking sound; a glance up showed Rex that she was fighting back a laugh, and he cleared his throat, wondering what Ahsoka would think if she knew that he'd actually followed in Fives' steps. “Yeah, a little while ago. Anyway, when they return, I imagine we'll take another day or so to prepare, so the mission proper should start within...approximately three days.”

    A wave of chagrin swept through him and he paused, considering. “Er...you're not doing anything else right now, are you? This wouldn't be pulling you away from some critical mission?”

    When Ahsoka spoke again he could hear that she was smiling. “Don't worry about it. I'm free at the moment, this is beyond a worthy cause, and I'll be glad to see everyone,” she said in a warm voice. “Give me a day to tie up some loose-ends, then I'll see you on Alderaan.”

    I'll transmit the coordinates,” he replied as a soft squeal erupted from the direction of the bed. A glance over showed him that Iri was objecting to the sweater Brenna had chosen for her, but he could see that his wife had the situation well in hand. Bren caught his eye and gave him a wry look that he returned before he spoke back into the comlink. “Hey, kid...?”

    Yes?”

    Thanks.”

    Her answering laugh was bright. “I'll see you soon, Rexter.”

    *

    The following afternoon...

    For as little preparation as they had, Rex thought that the plan was really starting to come together. Fives and Marliss' trip to Mandalore had been successful; they'd returned with several crates of stormtrooper armor, which the clones brought to the Damaris' living room, the largest available indoor area where the entire group could congregate away from the chill of the late-autumn air.

    Presently, all of the clones and most of the non-clones were in the living room, surrounded by crates of armor and examining each piece as they discussed the new acquisitions. Along with the armor, Fives and Marliss had managed to acquire body-gloves and some Imperial-regulation weapons, the latter of which were safely stowed in the clones' quarters over the barn, because both Iri and Tav were present in the living room, watching the goings-on with immense interest. Jensine had stayed for the first few minutes, but had eventually opted to leave the “young folks to their fun,” and had – Rex thought – gone to speak with Nala Se, though he wasn't entirely sure why.

    Coric and Fives had already slipped into body-gloves and were beginning to suit up in order to test out the new kit, and as Rex watched his brothers' transformation into stormtroopers, he realized that it felt strange to see them in armor once more.

    He wasn't sure what feeling was supposed to mean, but something told him that it was a good thing not to find the accouterments of warfare “normal” any longer.

    It's not too different from the good old Phase Two,” Fives was saying as he held up a crisp, white vambrace, rapping his knuckles against it as if to test its construction. He'd already attached the greaves, cuisses and poleyns, so his legs were fully-armored. “Except I miss my kama.”

    I'm still not sure about the helmet,” Jesse replied, eying the item in question as he stood beside one of the crates that was resting on the floor. “What a weird design for a visor.”

    Rex had to agree. Of course, he'd favored the elegant, Mando-inspired T-visor of the clones' Phase One armor best, but the Phase Two had at least provided the wearer with a single, unbroken visor. The stormtrooper bucket had broken up the visor into two separate places entirely, creating a host of blind spots that were potentially very dangerous.

    There are advantages and drawbacks all around.” Chopper said from where he was leaning against the wall, watching the others. Of all the clones, he'd only given the armor a cursory inspection before standing to the side, as if reluctant to get too close to it just yet. “The design does cut visibility way down, but the plastoid overall is lighter and stronger than the kind used for our old armor. ”

    Kix's hand was on his chin as he watched Coric and Fives reach for their chest-plates. “I suppose that would make it easier to move in, at least.”

    Seated beside Rex on the couch, Brenna was holding a helmet upturned in her hand as she studied the interior. Iri was in her lap, also quite interested, so Rex took a moment to point out some of the electronics that Bren would need to familiarize herself with. “It's all controlled by eye movement,” he added as he watched her examining the bucket. “It might be tricky to get used to having to blink a certain way.”

    I'm wondering where all my hair is going to go,” she replied, knitting her brows as Iri reached for the bucket; the little girl made to grab for it, but Brenna held it up, out of the toddler's reach. “There's not a lot of room up there.”

    I was thinking that a nice, tight braid and a swimming cap should do the trick,” Edme broke in from her place on the other couch. The red-haired woman had given up trying to keep Tav out of the adults' way, and had taken to sipping a cup of caf and watching her son – and her husband – ogling the armor right along with the clones.

    Every so often Rex noticed that Caith would look up at Edme, a wide grin on his face as he held up a piece of kit; he was clearly delighted with the brouhaha. Rex remembered that Brenna had liked his armor back in his army days, and it was amusing to think that such a thing ran in the family, albeit for different reasons.

    Marliss, who also didn't seem to find the armor quite as fascinating as her own husband, was sitting beside Edme, and at the other woman's words she grinned. “You could always shave your head, Bren.”

    No,” Rex said quickly, then glanced at Bren, who was regarding him with amusement. “Please don't,” he added to her. “I like your hair the way it is.”

    At this, all the women – including Brenna – laughed at him. He sighed but made no further reply, as his comlink had begun to vibrate in his pocket. After withdrawing the device, he smiled at the message that awaited him. Landing in the far pasture in ten minutes, A.

    They were pretty isolated out here, but Rex had been wary of letting any neighbors – even distant ones – see more than a single ship landing on the Damaris' property within the span of a few days, so he'd asked Ahsoka to set her ship down in a small valley that was a good hike away from the house, thinking he'd take a speeder to bring her back. He glanced back up at his wife, who was still examining the interior of the bucket.

    Ahsoka's nearly here,” he said as he got to his feet. “I'm going to go pick her up.”

    Brenna offered him the kind of smile that made his stomach do an odd sort of flip, then indicated the helmet. “I guess I should start figuring out how I'm supposed to wear all of this.”

    It's easy,” he replied, giving her a swift kiss against her cheek, adding: “I can show you when I get back, if you like – that's one thing I don't think I'll ever be able to forget.”

    Sounds good,” she said with a smile. They'd spent some time going over pics that Bren had taken during his army days, so he knew she at least had a mental image of him dressed in his old kit. Indeed, her smile widened and she gave him a wry look. “I think Fives was right about the kama...I feel like I miss it, too.”

    *

    Several minutes later, after grabbing his jacket, gloves, and wide-brimmed hat, Rex was skimming along the rolling hills, searching for a sign of Ahsoka's starfighter. The sky was overcast, the thick cover of clouds blanketing the entire horizon in glaring white, and it was a bit cooler than it had been the last few days, indicating that winter was well on its way.

    By all accounts, he would not be a fan of winter on Alderaan, but Rex decided to judge such a thing for himself when it came.

    At any rate, the overcast sky provided another measure of cover for Ahsoka's ship, and for that he was thankful. Once he reached the RV site, Rex powered the speeder down and stepped out, leaning against the side and surveying the area. The grass that had been so lush in the summer months was brown and shriveled and the autumn wind was particularly biting, making him grateful for his warm clothing. It was strange, at times, to experience seasons in this way; Rex had spent most of his life in climate controlled areas, which generally had no seasons to speak of, and those times when Torrent was on a planet, he'd never been in one place long enough to notice such a thing as the onset of a new season.

    A throaty buzz caught his attention and he glanced up, searching. It was overcast, but there was a terrific glare from the sheer whiteness of the clouds, though the wide brim of his kept the worst of the glare from his eyes. Within moments he caught sight of a lithe little fighter dropping out of the sky, making its way for his location. As it descended onto the scrubby grass, all manner of dust and dirt was kicked up from the repulsors, but Ahsoka had maneuvered the craft far enough away from him so he wasn't hit by the debris.

    In all honesty, Rex was so anxious to see his friend again that he didn't much care about the dust, though it was considerate of her to land where she had. The moment the starfighter touched the ground, he hurried over, lifting a gloved hand in greeting as the plexiglass hatch opened and a familiar face popped out. She waved too, right before vaulting gracefully to the ground and rushing to him. “Rexter!”

    Ahsoka's embrace was firm and when they pulled apart he watched as she scanned his face as if searching for something. He thought she was pleased with what she found, for her eyes lit up and she beamed at him. “You look good.”

    So do you,” he replied. Well, she looked healthy, at any rate, but there was a heaviness to the set of her shoulders that he'd not seen before. Aside from that, she was dressed similarly to how he'd last seen her: a long, dark coat, black boots and pants – clothing that was meant to blend in. He didn't see her lightsaber, but assumed she was wearing it, somewhere. “It's good to see you again, kid.”

    Her expression changed, sharpened. “How's Brenna? Is she...?”

    She's okay,” Rex replied with a nod, then indicated the speeder. “I'll fill you in on the way home.”

    Something he said made her eyes widen, but she nodded and – after collecting a knapsack from the interior of her fighter and sealing the hatch – she followed him to the speeder. Soon they were skimming across the hills, and for a moment Rex was reminded of their army days, especially when she cast him a curious look that he didn't need words to translate.

    Rex exhaled through his nose. “Bren's memory is returning...sort of. Sometimes, it seems like she only needs to be reminded of something or have something explained to her in order to remember it. Some things she doesn't recall at all, and we have no way of knowing if that's going to change or not. In any case, it's a slow process, so we're taking things one day at a time. It was tough at first, but recently she's been doing a lot better.”

    Ahsoka nodded and gazed at the passing scenery for a moment before looking back at him. “How are you doing?”

    I'm fine,” he said, tightening his jaw so that he wouldn't laugh at her sigh of irritation. “No, really...I mean it,” he added as he glanced back at her. “Like I said, it was tough at first, but then I-”

    He paused, uncertain of how to voice the change that had occurred between him and Bren. None of the others had questioned them about it, but he thought that perhaps it was obvious to everyone around them that he and Bren had found a way to bridge the gap.

    But Ahsoka would have no way of knowing any of this, and he suddenly realized that, while he understood Brenna's reasons for wanting to keep their marriage between the two of them for now, he wanted to share the news with the person he still considered his best friend. Ahsoka was not his brother, like Fives and the others were, nor was she quite like Caith and the rest of Brenna's family, and he had a longing to speak to her of something so close to his heart. At one time they'd told each other everything, and he did miss that closeness, a great deal. He hoped that Bren would understand; he thought she would.

    So Rex took a breath and watched the terrain skimming before the speeder. “I realized that I'd given her too much space; I'd kept myself at too much of a distance, and it was hurting her more than it was helping. So I proposed.”

    Ahsoka gaped at him. “You're engaged?”

    Oh, no,” he replied, a half-smile tugging at his mouth. “We went ahead and got married. A Mando'a ceremony,” he added as her eyes grew even rounder. “The day before yesterday, actually.”

    Captain Rex is married.” She shook her head and laughed helplessly. “Or should I call you Mr. Damaris, now?”

    It's fitting, but 'Rex' still works,” he chuckled, though he frowned a moment later, and slowed the speeder's pace as he considered his next words. “We haven't told anyone just yet, though.” He sighed at her expression of alarm. “We needed to make some new memories, just between us.”

    The touch of her hand on his arm was not unexpected, nor was it unwelcome. A glance showed him that Ahsoka was blinking rapidly, and her eyes held a familiar brightness even as the smile she was giving him held nothing but joy. “I'm really happy for you...you deserve to be happy. Both of you.”

    A moment later, she cleared her throat. “How's Iri?”

    Rex smiled. “My daughter is perfect. She's part of the reason I called you, actually.” Slowing the speeder a little more, he glanced back at Ahsoka and watched as she met his eyes. “I'm not going with Bren and the others on this mission because I'm going to stay with Iri. If I did go and something were to happen to me and Bren, she would have no one, and I'm not willing to risk leaving her without a parent.”

    Ahsoka nodded, understanding in her eyes. He sighed and looked back at the trailing ground beneath the speeder. “I know that my brothers will do their best to make sure Brenna comes back home safely, but I'd feel better if you were there, too. I don't want to burden you any more,” he added quickly as she took a breath and leaned back in her seat. “But-”

    This is too important to you,” she finished, nodding slowly. Again, he could tell that something was weighing on her, and he felt concern for his friend. “I understand, Rex,” she said at last. “I'll do my best.”

    I know,” he replied, offering her a smile, though he glanced back at the way ahead in the next moment. “So, you know about my life...what have you been up to since the last time we saw each other?”

    Her arms crossed and her shoulders grew a little tense, and there was a hint of forced levity in her voice when she answered. “Nothing exciting. Still working with Bail Organa; we're still trying to gather resources for the resistance. Black Sun has been sort of helpful, actually, especially after Brenna took care of that guy from Red Star Ring.”

    Rex's hands tightened on the controls at the thought of Arcas. “They're more of them out there, though, right?”

    Yes, but they've been quiet, lately,” Ahsoka replied. “I think the wind got knocked out of them with their leader's death.”

    Because he was going to have to punch something if he thought about Arcas much more, Rex took a deep breath and shot a glance at his friend again. “Something's wrong.”

    Her brow-lines knitted and she looked away from him. “A lot of things are wrong right now.”

    I mean with you. Personally.” He paused, then cleared his throat. “You and Bonteri are still...at odds?”

    It's really pretty here,” she said abruptly, her eyes fixed on the distant mountains. “I always forget how much I love the countryside. Aldera is nice, but kind of...stiff.”

    Ahsoka.”

    She sighed and cast her eyes upward, reminding him for one moment of the scrappy teenager he'd met years ago, before she gave him a look that he knew was meant to be wry, even though there was pain in her eyes. “We're not at odds, Rex. We're not...anything.”

    Rex had sped up their pace a bit more, and the Damaris' house was now visible in the distance, but now he slowed the vehicle, then, after a moment's consideration, stopped entirely. They'd paused on a bluff that overlooked the sweeping hills, and if he looked closely, he could see the vilpacas and the quagga out in the pastures closer to the house. “But you're not happy about it.”

    Life isn't always happy.” The words were spoke a bit harshly, but he took no offense. It was true enough, that much he knew.

    No, it's not,” he replied, looking at her; Force, she looked young right now, frightened and far too weary, and he had an urge to comfort her, somehow. “But I know you, Ahsoka. If you truly thought that you'd done the right thing, even if it hurt, you wouldn't still be...this way.”

    Her mouth opened to reply but he shook his head and continued. “You still love him, don't you?”

    Ahsoka winced and hugged her arms even closer to her chest. “It doesn't matter, Rex. I can't risk what happened to Anakin happening to me. I can't let love take over my life, because it could destroy everything.”

    At her words, he felt a thrill of anger – of all things – pierce him, and he frowned as he tried to collect his thoughts and align them with his emotions. Finally he took a deep breath and turned to her, twisting in the seat to regard her face-to-face. “I meant everything I said to you before, Ahsoka: you're not Anakin. His choices aren't yours. His fate is not yours. But more than that...if you have a chance at happiness and you throw it away because you're afraid, then you're an idiot.”

    She visibly started at his words, and he grimaced inwardly at the thought that he'd hurt her feelings, but he also thought that perhaps she needed to hear this. “I know how you feel, Ahsoka, because I've been there, too. But I've learned that you can't let fear of what might be keep you from allowing yourself happiness right now. It's no way to live, kid.”

    For a long few minutes, she said nothing. They sat in silence and surveyed the Alderaani terrain before them until he heard her give a soft sigh; turning, he watched as she offered him a half-smile. “You're pretty smart for a guy in such a silly hat.”

    Frowning, Rex touched the brim of his hat, though he didn't remove it. “You don't like it?”

    She chuckled. “No, it suits you. It's just...different. As is everything, I guess.”

    Not all change is bad,” he replied, starting up the engine again. As he steered them towards the house, he adjusted the brim once more. “And I like the hat. It's comfortable and practical.”

    At this, Ahsoka began laughing in earnest. “Of that I have no doubt, Rexter.”

    *****

    A/N: While I may not ship Rex and Ahsoka any longer, I do feel that they have a strong bond of friendship. I realize that was “missing” in some ways from The Fighting Kind, and wanted to show it to a greater degree in this story.

    Next time: Wearing armor kind of sucks if you have boobs. Just sayin'. :p
     
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  24. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    laloga - Yay, it's back! Glad the busyness was all for happy causes. @};- Glad also that the plans seem to be running so smoothly. :)

    The Rex/Ahsoka talk was warm, caring, and frank. True blue friends. :) Nothing more heartbreaking than being on different wavelengths romantically or hesitating and letting the love of your life get away. [face_thinking] I know Ahsoka will at least ponder his sound advice.
     
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  25. gracesonnet

    gracesonnet Jedi Knight star 2

    Registered:
    May 20, 2014
    They're back!!!!!!!!!
    "Favorite bending unit"-- awesome! I love Bender "Bending" Rodriguez so much, I named one of the clones in my fic after him.
    Poor Ahsoka. Hopefully she won't let Anakin's bad decisions destroy her own chances of happiness with Lux.
     
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