Would it have helped Obi-Wan if Anakin had seen him in Moulin Rouge?

Discussion in 'Attack of the Clones' started by Darth Blasphemous, May 26, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Sith Lord Si Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 1999
    I'M NOT GAY (sung by C-3PO to R2-D2, to the words of Come What May)

    [Verse 1]
    Never knew I could feel like this,
    Like I'd never seen a droid before.
    Being with you is utter bliss -
    Everyday I know you more and more.

    [Bridge 1]
    Listen to my cogs,
    Can you hear them spin?
    Telling me to give you everything!
    Just thinking about you,
    I might pop a spring.
    But still there's one part of me that wants...to...sing.......

    [Chorus 1]
    I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAY!
    I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
    Stay in the closet
    Until my junk-pile days!

    [Verse 2]
    Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place,
    Suddenly it moves at such a lightning pace!
    Your adventures put a smile on my face -
    My little droid companion.

    [Bridge 2]
    And there's no mission too scary,
    No Wookie too hairy.
    I'll follow you anywhere, but just you be wary!
    Sometimes I'll seem critical, but on the contrary...
    I'm confused, because my cir..cuits....say.......

    [Chorus 2]
    I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
    I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
    I won't admit it,
    Until my scrap-heap days...

    [Chorus 3]
    Oh, I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!
    I-I'M NOT GAAAAaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
    You're just my buddy,
    Yes, just my buddy.....

    (Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place....)

    I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
    (I will love you!!!)
    I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
    (I must not love you!!!!)
    I'M NOT GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
    (Stay in the closet)
    UNTIL MY SCRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
    HEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAP
    DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYS!!!!!!


    [huge applause]
  2. Sith Lord Si Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 1999
    BANTHA LOVE MEDLEY (sung by Anakin and Padme, to the tune of the Elephant Love Medley):

    ANAKIN: Love is a many splendoured thing! Love lifts us up where we belong! All you need is love!

    PADME: Please, don't start up with that soap-opera bull**** again...

    ANAKIN: All you need is love...

    PADME: A girl has got to fulfill the everyday duties of a senator!

    ANAKIN: All you need is love...

    PADME: She'll end up ruled over by an evil dictatorship!

    ANAKIN: All you need is lo-o-o-ove...

    PADME: Love is for the lame (and those tied down by commitments to their various different lifestyles)

    ANAKIN: I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me.

    PADME: The only way of loving me "baby" is to catch the assassin who's hunting me!

    ANAKIN: Just one night, give me just one night!

    PADME: There's no way, you'll be a Jedi someday!

    ANAKIN: In the naaaaaaaame of love, one night in the name of love!

    PADME: You cheeeeeesy fool, I won't have sex with you!

    ANAKIN: Don't leave me this way, I can't survive without your sweet love, oh baby - don't leave me this way.

    PADME: You'd think people would have had enough of clunky dialogue.....

    ANAKIN: I look at the box office receipts and I see that isn't so [looks at camera and winks] huh-uh, no!

    PADME: Some director/writers want to fill a world with clunky dialogue....

    ANAKIN: Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know! 'Cause here I go again.....Love lifts us up where we belong! Where speeders fly, in an open sky!

    PADME: Love makes us act like we are wood (apparently). Throw our lines away, like some, cheesy dame...

    ANAKIN: We could be heros! Just for 2 and a half hours!

    PADME: You....you will be creepy.

    ANAKIN: No! No I won't! I'm mature and responsible, and not in the slightest bit creepy in my apparent obsession with you!

    PADME: Whatever. And I....I'll talk politics all the time!

    ANAKIN: We should be lovers!

    PADME: We can't do that!

    ANAKIN: We should be lo-o-overs, and that's a fact. It stands to reason, given that we have kids and all later on.

    PADME: Oh brother. But nothing will keep us together....

    ANAKIN: You're right - I'll eventually dump you in favour of killing and blowing **** up. But we could at least steal time, just for 2 and a half hours!

    PADME & ANAKIN: We could be heros, for ever and ever! We could be heros....just because I.....will always love you.....and I.....can't help loving.....

    ANAKIN: ....Obi-Wa - WAIT! I mean you, you. Padme. Of course, only you. *sheesh*

    PADME: How utterly complicated and doomed life is, now you've broken the Jedi cooooooooooooooooooooooode......

    [they go back inside the giant BANTHA MODEL, and have twins]
  3. skywalker325 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 4
    ROFL!!!! Oh my glory, I don't think I've EVER laughed this hard in my LIFE!!! And I needed that tonight. Nothing like ex-boyfriends telling you what a jerk you "always were" to get a girl down for the night. But holy cow, did this thread ever cheer me up! We should market these jokes as a cheap anti-depressant. :)

    -sky
  4. jedi scholar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 1999
    star 3
    I have been laughing hysterically for so long now that I'm hoarse. Keep up the good work. And to all of those working on fan fic and films and such---best of luck and may the Muse inspire you to reach even greater heights of hilarity.
  5. trianiigirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2002
    star 5
    LOL!!!! [face_laugh]

    Scorebooks for Sith Lord Si!!!!

    Love the filks!!!

    Bwahahahahahahah!!!!


    Oh, and the script will be here soon. Monday afternoon, that is. I kinda left my disk at school and really don't want to retype everything...
  6. Darth Blasphemous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 1999
    star 4
    I would have loved to see a cover of "Like a Virgin" by Padme. Not to mention one of "Friendship" by Anakin and Obi-Wan.

    Oh well, time to bump my old thread!
  7. Obis-Grl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2002
    star 4
  8. trianiigirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2002
    star 5
    Here it is...

    Episode III v. 2.0: The Musical
    Written by Trianiigirl, featuring songs by Flashbacca, DarthSinistar, and uruseiranma.

    OPENING: Black background. Blue words read "Sometime in the future of a galaxy far, far away..."

    SCENE: INT. JEDI APARTMENT: NIGHT

    Fade in to OBI-WAN KENOBI sitting at a desk, writing in a journal (black starfield pages, writting in yellow). Voice-over as he writes.

    OBI-WAN: This is a story about love in the Old Republic.

    Focus on his eyes, teary, as he pauses and remembers.

    OBI-WAN: The man that he was and the woman he loved are... dead.

    Fade to black. Music begins as the title and intro scroll up in yellow letters (like what Obi was writing... aren't I clever?) 8-} All words are voiced-over by OBI-WAN.

    OBI-WAN: It was a dark time for the Republic. Recent battles in the ongoing Clone Wars had thrown the Senate into a frenzy. May feared for their lives and those of their people.

    SCENE: INT. CORRIDOR: DAY
    Various SENATORS (inc. PADME AMIDALA), JEDI (inc. OBI-WAN and ANAKIN SKYWALKER), TROOPERS, and Palpatine's CRONIES are seen on their way to a meeting.

    OBI-WAN: It all started when Chancellor Palpatine called a special meeting to discuss his recently bestowed emergency powers.

    CROWD files into PALPY'S office and takes their seats. PALPY rises from his desk to greet them.

    PALPY: Thank you all for coming here. I need to make an important announcement concerning the powers the Senate granted me recently.

    CROWD looks around, murmering confusedly, clearly wondering what in the worlds old Palpy is up to this time.

    PALPY: A Surpreme Chancellor is simply not powerful enough to lead this government in such trying times.

    PALPY raises his hands, becoming very melodramatic.

    PALPY: Therefore I shall be... YOUR EMPEROR!!!!

    PALPY begins moving around the room and starts to sing, calmly at first, but with growing enthusiasm.

    PALPY: The Empire, The Empire
    The term will never ex-pi-re
    (wsh-shshsh) PALPY on one side of room
    None will stop this forceful brink
    (wsh-shshsh) PALPY on other side of room
    You'll be powerless to think
    You'll all agree with Jar Jar Binks

    CROWD looks at JAR JAR, a bit overwhelmed. JAR JAR shrugs.

    PALPY: And then you'll ask "What DID I think?

    CROWD seems to be wondering already.

    PALPY is joined by CRONIES

    PALPY: And thanks to that Gungan's lip
    You'll start a dic-ta-tor-shiiiiip!

    CROWD goes wide-eyed as they realize where this is headed. All glare at JAR JAR, who looks mortified and tries to hide. ANAKIN, excited 'cause he likes dictatorships, jumps up and joins CRONIES.

    PALPY and CRONIES: So exciting the Senate will all stop and cheer
    So inciting it will last for sixty years
    So exciting the Senate will all stop and cheer
    So inciting it will last for sixty years

    CRONIES sing as they dance around with representations of the following things...

    CRONIES: Clonetroopers with rifle-clips,
    AT-TE's and drop ships,
    shaped like a triangle wedge,
    to the planet's very edge;
    Created on Kamino too,
    with the help of Lama Su,
    from a man named Jango Fett,
    are we having fun just yet!?

    CROWD definately not having fun. They try to leave, but are stopped by scary GUARDS.

    PALPY and CRONIES: So exciting the senate will all stop and cheer
    So inciting it will last for sixty years
    so exciting the senate will all stop and cheer
    So delighting it will last for sixty years

    PALPY fades to the back and changes into SIDIOUS robe as CRONIES continue.

    CRONIES: The Empire, the Empire
    those words will never expire,
    point at CROWD
    You'll be in a bloody fix
    Til Palpy's killed in number 6!

    PALPY looks quizzical, but chooses to ignore the line as he runs up for his duet with COUNT DOOKU.

    PALPY and DOOKU: The Siiiiiith, are aliiiiive, and controlling yoooou alllll!

    BAD GUYS: So exciting the senate will all stop and cheer
    So inciting it will last for sixty years
    so exciting the senate will all stop and cheer
    So delighting it will last for Siii
  9. Darth Blasphemous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 1999
    star 4
    Dang, this place either houses lots of talent or lots of people in desperate need of a life. ;)
  10. trianiigirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2002
    star 5
    I found the disk- yay! :D Well, here's the rest...


    SCENE- PALPATINE?S OFFICE- NIGHT

    PALPATINE shuts the door(s) as the last of the CROWD exits, leaving him with ANAKIN and TROOPERS who are cleaning up the mess from ?Senate Spectacular!?

    PALPATINE
    You were a slave on Tatooine
    Somehow you made it throu-hou-hough
    Didn?t know you had the Force
    ?Till Qui-Gon found you
    You?re the great-est Jedi
    But you let your mom Shmi die
    Does that make you fee-hee-heel
    Does that ma-ha-hake you fee-heel
    all angry inside?

    ANAKIN is silent, stunned that PALPATINE would say such things. PALPATINE begins prancing about, bumping into TROOPERS and such as he sings.

    PALPATINE
    Like a Sith Lord
    Touched by the Force?s Dark Side
    Like a Si-hi-hi-hith Lord
    Get cool powers
    (Force-chokes a guy)
    Just like mine
    Like a Sith Lord
    Hey! Like a Sith Lord
    Feel of the Dark Side
    With cool powers
    And cool nicknames

    A cleaning TROOPER brings PALPATINE his SIDIOUS accessories (cane, cute silver cape buckle, etc.). ANAKIN sings as SIDIOUS dresses.

    ANAKIN
    Found my mom dead on Tatooine
    I just cried and crie-hie-hied
    Then I killed some Tuskens- yay!
    Even the children died
    I got trained, fought Dooku
    Then I married Padme from Naboo
    But just like with Mo-ho-hom
    Yeah, just li-hi-hike with my mo-hom
    I went and left her too

    SIDIOUS begins singing again as the random TROOPERS bring him bits of the mess to use as a Sith Lord outfit for ANAKIN.

    SIDIOUS
    Like a Sith Lord
    Touched by the Force?s Dark Side
    Like a Si-hi-hi-hith Lord
    Take your place now
    At my side!

    ANAKIN begins dancing around with SIDIOUS, choking TROOPERS and making an even bigger, huge mess.

    ANAKIN and SIDIOUS
    Like a Sith Lord
    Hey! Like a Sith Lord
    Feel of the Dark Side
    With cool powers
    And cool nicknames

    ANAKIN (solo)
    Kill more Tuskens!

    SIDIOUS (solo)
    And kill Jedi!

    SIDIOUS finally finds the Sith Lord outfit that?s perfect for ANAKIN. Puts helmet on ANAKIN and cape too. They sing the final line-

    ANAKIN and SIDIOUS
    Liiiike aaa Siiiiith Looooooord!!!!!!!

    Evil cackling and VADER breathing is heard as the scene ends.

    SCENE- INT- CORRIDOR- DAY
    Two CRONIES are talking about the new Sith Lord, VADER. They are following him down a corridor, looking for JEDI to kill.

    CRONIES
    As they pulled him out of that fiery pit
    He swore he would kill all the Jedi
    With his silicone heart
    And his black-tinted parts
    Just like a wraith he was
    Master the Empr?r was
    Vowing that the Jedi would go down on their knees
    Showing them the Dark Side was their fate you see
    Jedi Dogs are tricksters and they cannot be seen
    Hunt them to the ground we will
    Anakin?s out for a kill

    Further down the hall SENATORS sing in chorus. Trio checks hallway people to see if they?re Jedi.

    SENATORS
    Here he comes

    CRONIE 1
    He?s just a machine

    SENATORS
    Here he comes

    CRONIE 1
    Says?

    VADER
    Jedi, dead you will be

    SENATORS
    Here he comes

    CRONIE 2
    He?s real evil you see

    CRONIES do ?white girl/boy? dance as music plays.

    TRIO encounters a JEDI down the hall and confronts him/her.

    CRONIES and VADER
    Come on to the Dark Side, baby

    CRONIE 1
    Or he?ll call out the guards

    CRONIES
    Scum, he calls them the Jedi Dogs!

    VADER challenges the JEDI in the background as CRONIES continue to sing.

    CRONIES
    In the year of the Republic
    The season of the Sith
    Confrontation blossoms
    A fight to the death

    In the background, the JEDI gets scared and runs away. The TRIO gives chase.

    CRONIES
    ?Fore another season comes
    You we?re gonna catch
    Its gonna be a sorry sight
    If you don?t turn and start to fight

    SENATORS in the hall sing as VADER and CRONIES try to catch the JEDI.

    SENATOR
    Palp?tine the Empr?r is a real cool cat
    Sits upon the Senate seat
    Republic?s broke, so he calls for a vote
    But it?s all just a sham
    He?s got us all flimflammed

    We catch up to VADER and CRONIES further down the hall. SENATORS sing as VADER passes, engaging the JEDI in battle.

    SENATORS
    Here he comes

    CRONIE 2
    Sith Master on a leash

    SE
  11. Jedi_Knight_Satine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 5, 2002
    star 4
    Wow!!!!!! Those are all so hillarious!! [face_laugh]
  12. Jedi_Knight_Satine Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 5, 2002
    star 4
  13. skywalker325 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 4
    *singing* this thread must go uuuuuuuuuup!!!!!

    So here's my first contribution. I'm also finishing a "Do Re Mi" parody, per the request of...?? hmm I don't remember anymore! But I may have that finished later tonight, actually. And a cool "Lady Marmalade" parody, too.

    So here's the first of my fffffabulous parodies... ;)


    "One Day I'll Get Away"
    --as performed by NATALIE, not Padme!

    I follow the Man
    Can't stand the fans...
    When will I be free
    As Na-ta-lie?!!

    One day I'll get away!
    Leave bluescreens to hyperspace.
    What more could contracts do for me?
    When will George be through with me!?
    Why live life from II to III
    And dread the day
    When filming ends...


    Hope you like it!! More to come... ;)
    KEEP POSTING EVERYBODY!!

    -sky
  14. skywalker325 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 16, 2002
    star 4
    ok, I felt especially ambitious this afternoon and finished...

    ?Do Re Mi?
    ?covering Star Wars in general, mostly OT; I was able to keep the originals (from Sound of Music) except for do ?doe? and ti ?tea??those I kept as normally written

    **singing**

    Do, or not, there is not try
    Ray, a beam shot from Luke?s gun
    Me, Jedi, I want to be
    Far, the famous Kessel run
    Sew, a fabricated clone
    La, a warm-up from the Nodes [think Cantina]
    Ti, a beeping astrodroid

    That will bring us back to Do!

    **end singing**

    Have a great day, everybody!!
    -sky
  15. AlexiAlexander Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 2
  16. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    O..M.....G!!!!!!

    I am laughing so hard that I can't type...
    trianigirl that was FANTASTIC.. and you used my song....wheeeeeeee I feel like a proud parent :D Thanks :D !

    I cannot wait to see this when you finish it!

    skywalker325 that was a great do ra mi parody,,,, got any more up your sleeve?

    :D TW
  17. Flashbacca Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 11, 2002
    star 4
    sorry, darn computer is having a 3PO moment. :mad:
  18. Ayla_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 10, 2002
    star 4
    *holds her stomach* this thread is getting better and bettter each page. I can't stop laughing
  19. The Butler Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 1999
    star 4
    Wondeful work, trianigirl and skywalker! Now yu al have to pay for a new keybord (can't typ with th mlk on th kys... )

    :D
  20. trianiigirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2002
    star 5
    Just wanted to check in and say I haven't forgotten this thread... and thanks for all the props [face_blush]!

    I've actually secured a cast and a couple of filming dates for my E3/MR musical thing, so wish me luck!

    I actually haven't found a Palpy I'm proud of yet, so I might have to play him... think people will mind much if the Emperor is a girl dressed like a scary old man? :confused: Maybe if I have a deep enough hood on the robe...

    But that's neither here nor there. How are things? Anyone been visited by the Muse lately?
  21. Darth Blasphemous Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 1999
    star 4
    Who would be the Green Fairy in the Star Wars/Moulin Rouge musical?

    Kylie Minogue is a hottie, but I think someone like either Leia or Padme would do well. Of course if you wanted to destroy his demeanor you could have Yoda!
  22. trianiigirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2002
    star 5
    Hi there... just throwing out a *bump* for old times sake... I start filming on the 18th (or whatever Saturday is closest to that date...)!!
  23. darkOmegazer0 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 4
    You're really filming it? Can your cast sing?
  24. trianiigirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2002
    star 5
    Yes, I'm actually filming it, and no, my cast can't sing. I plan to have them do the best they can while we tape, then dub over it with a more professional version of the songs.

    Unless I find out that they actually can sing.

    I posted the script a few pages back... I don't think it'll be too hard, except to keep people from laughing as they perform.
  25. darkOmegazer0 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 4
    (sounding like that drunk from id4) I can sing, im a singer. Do you have a real camera crew and sound stage and all that jazz?
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.