Would it have helped Obi-Wan if Anakin had seen him in Moulin Rouge?

Discussion in 'Attack of the Clones' started by Darth Blasphemous, May 26, 2002.

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  1. Padawan_Jess_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    LOL!! I'm loving this thread! I can't believe I didn't find it earlier! I'll read through all the posts later. :D
  2. Lelila Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 16, 1999
    star 4
    This thread rocks! These are absolutely brilliant! So brilliant that I got excited and wrote this:

    THE WAR MUST GO ON

    (Padmé, Obi-Wan and Anakin are holding on in aboard the Clone Gun ship, where after Count Dooku. Padmé falls from the ship)

    Padmé (on the ground, sings softly to herself, acapella):

    I was a fool to believe
    That peace could be achieved
    The war starts today!
    Yes, the war starts today!

    (normal movie dialogue)
    Anakin: PADMÉ! Put the ship down!
    Obi-Wan: Anakin! Don?t let you personal feelings get in the way! We have a job to do!
    (Anakin looks away sullenly)
    (Obi-Wan sighs, points offscreen to cue the music)

    Obi-Wan (turns to his Padawan and starts to sing):
    Another planet, another war to fight
    This is our calling! Ani, we?re Jedi Knights!
    On and on, it is our job to fight for what needs fighting for!

    Anakin (sings):
    But I can?t leave her,
    won?t leave her life to chance!
    Now that I?ve found her,
    now that I?ve found romance!
    Dooku? Who cares! She is the only one that I am living for!

    Now put the ship down!
    Just put the ship down!


    Obi-Wan (sings):
    Outside the battle?s raging!
    She would have done her duty and stayed strong for you!

    We must strike him down!
    We must strike him down!


    Yoda (sings):
    Skywalker?s anger rising!
    His Master, he?s despising!
    Go and save them, I will...
    (flies off to the hanger)


    Obi-Wan:
    We must strike him down!
    We must strike him down!


    Anakin (leaps off the ship which has just arrived at the hanger):
    I?ll kill him now!
    I don?t care how!
    I?ve finally found the strength, to carry on with the..
    On with the...
    On with the...

    War!


    Obi-Wan:
    On with the war!


    All Jedi:
    The war must go on!
  3. _Padme_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 27, 2002
    star 4
    LOL! [face_laugh]

    I have been checking out this thread from time to time, and I must say you guys are amazing.

    That was great Lelila [face_laugh]; I wish I had as much talent as you all to post something spectacular, spectacular. [face_mischief] :p
  4. Rebel Scumb Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 22, 1999
    star 6
    I'm so glad this thread has lasted as long as it has.
  5. TheFallen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    Sooner or later you'll run out of songs to parody and move on to "Evita". [face_laugh]

    "Don't Cry For Me Jund-land Waste-laaands."

    Meh. [face_plain]

    I will come back with teh funny later. :p


    THEFALLEN
  6. Hananiah Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 15, 2003
    star 4

    I think it would allow Anakin to see the not so proper Jedi. edit this if i'm wrong or if this is offtopic but I think it would have also have helped if Anakin could see Obi Wan when he was younger y'know during the JA books
  7. AlexiAlexander Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 2
    That is really great Leilia!
  8. LottDodd Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 2002
    star 4
    Anakin is a Teenage boy (20), vain and a bit of a Jock. I think he would think that being in a Musical was "Wussy" and he would of lost respect for Obi-wan... Untill he saw him Tagging Kidman...
  9. Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2002
    star 4
    well, i just saw Chicago the other day and for some reason, the song Roxie inspired me. SO...here I go. :p

    ?Vader?

    Vader: The name that everybody fears
    Is gonna be Vader
    The Sith that?s gonna rule for years
    Is gonna be Vader
    I'm gonna be a Sith
    That means somebody everyone knows
    They're gonna recognize my eyes
    My theme, my ?saber, my boots, my clothes

    From just some dumb Jedi?s apprentice
    I'm gonna be Vader
    Who says that murder's not an art?
    And who in case he is caught
    Can say that he sure had fought?
    Darth Vader!

    Vader [spoken]: You wanna know something? I?ve always wanted to be a Sith.
    And now that I'm a Sith, I'm gonna kill any Jedi that made me meditate.
    Yeah, I'll get a clone trooper to work with - someone who can lift
    me up, show me off - Oh, hell, I'll get a damn horde of troopers. It'll frame
    me better. Think "Evil," Vader, think "Evil." I'm gonna get me
    a whole bunch of troopers. Come on men! *clone troopers come out*

    Troopers: They're gonna run like hell
    To get away from Vader
    Vader: Think of those Jedi I will kill
    "The Force wasn?t with ya - Vader"
    And I'll appear in a black cape
    That goes all the way down to my boots
    Troopers: Here a death, there a death
    Everywhere a Jedi?s death
    Vader: But always the best of taste
    Oooh, I'm a Sith.

    Vader: And I hate the universe. And the universe hates me for
    hating them. And I hate the universe for hating me. And
    we just hate each other. But isn?t the code ?There is no hate?? *laughs* hypocrites.
    Troopers: That's right.
    Vader: And that's life, kiddies.

    Troopers: Oh, yeah.
    He's giving up his humdrum life
    Vader: I'm gonna be
    Troopers: Vader!
    He made a scandal and a turn.
    Vader: And Obi-Wan will cry, I know
    And hide on other planet above or below
    All: Darth Vader!
    Troopers: Vader......Vader....
    Vader[spoken]: Come on boys, let?s go blow up the temple...
  10. Lelila Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 16, 1999
    star 4
    Hehe! Thanks guys! Those are wonderful! I need to see Chicago now so I know how the song goes!

    Sooner or later you'll run out of songs to parody and move on to "Evita".


    Okay, Fallen,...you tempted me!
    [face_mischief]

    Don't Look Away, Amidala
    (Anakin to Padmé):

    It isn?t easy
    You think it?s strange
    But I?ll try to explain how I feel
    Why I still need your love
    After ten years have past.

    You won?t believe me
    All you can see is the slave you once knew
    Though I?ve grow up, and trained as a Knight
    Still a Tatooine farmboy to you...

    I had to let it happen
    I had to change
    Couldn?t stay all my life down at heel
    On a backwater planet
    Looking out at the suns

    So I chose freedom
    Flying around, trying anything new
    But nothing impressed me at all
    I never expected it to

    Don?t look away, Amidala
    The truth is I never left you
    All through my training
    My mad existence
    I kept you with me
    Don?t keep your distance.

    And as for power, and as for love
    A Jedi craves not these things
    But these feelings are all I have ever desired
    My heart is aching
    And freedom is not what I thought it would be
    The answer was here all the time
    I love you and hope you love me

    Don?t look away, Amidala
    The truth is I never left you
    All through my training
    My mad existence
    I kept you with me
    Don?t keep your distance.

    Have I said too much?
    There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
    But all you have to do is look at me to know
    That every word is true.

    (edits: typo)
  11. TheFallen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    This was too inspired to stop. :D Special thanks to my apprentice for some last-minute inspiration. ;)

    This comes from Chicago's "Cell Block Tango".


    [ Introduction: ]

    And now, the six dreary darksiders of the glowing afterlife in their rendition of: the Cell Block Tango.

    [ Chorus: Xanatos, Lord Maul, Palpatine, Vader, Dooku, Alien #6 ]

    Pop...
    Six...
    Squish...
    BZZZ!
    Deathstar...
    Guard 4...

    They had it comin?! They had it comin?!
    They only have themselves to blame!
    If you?d a been there,
    If you?d a seen it!
    I betcha you would have done the same!

    [Spoken: Dooku ]

    You know how Apprentices have these little habits that get you down?
    Like? my second Padawan.
    P-2, he liked to chew his braid.
    No, not chew.
    Crun-ch.
    So I came to the quarters one day and I?m REALLY irritated and I?m looking for a little bit of compulsory foot massaging.
    And there?s P-2, lyin? on the couch, slurping a muja foot and chewing his braid.
    No, not chewing.
    CRUNCH-IN?.
    And I said to him: you crunch that braid one more time?
    [Sigh]
    And he did.
    So I took the emergency blaster off my belt and fired two warning shots.
    In. To. His. Head.

    [ Chorus ]

    [ Spoken: Xanatos ]

    I met Bulba the Hutt in Mos Espa, Tatooine about two years ago.
    He told me he was single.
    And we hit it off right away.
    So we started livin? together.
    He?d go to the spice mines, he?d come home, I?d fix him a little drinky, we?d murder a few Twi?leks.
    And then I found out?
    Single, he told me.
    Single. My. Ass.
    Not only was he married, oh no.
    He had six wives.
    One of those Hutts, ya know?
    So that night when he came home from the mines, I fixed him his drink, as usual.
    You know some guys just can?t. hold. their. arsenic.

    [ Chorus ]

    [ Spoken: Maul ]

    Now I?m standing behind a red laser wall.
    Poking it just for effect.
    Minding my own business.
    In storms this Jedi, Qui-Gon, in an obnoxious attack stance.
    ?You just kick my Padawan in the face??
    He was right.
    He kept on screamin?.
    ?You just kicked my Padawan in the face!?
    And then he ran into my lightsaber.
    He ran into my lightsaber 10 times.

    [ Chorus ]

    [ Spoken: Alien #6 ]

    Bzz. Buzz ba bzz bee bzz ba.
    Bzzz brzp bezzp buzp.
    Balla-bzp blzp.
    Balzzp pzza bazznalbza.
    Bzza. Binnazzap bzza ba bee bzz.

    [ Xanatos: ] Yeah, but did you do it?

    [ Alien #6: ] Bzz! Not. Guilty!

    [ Chorus ]

    [ Spoken: Vader ]

    My stormtrooper friend and I had this double act.
    And my wife Padmé traveled around with us.
    Now for this last exercise kata we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.
    1, 2, 3, 4, 5!
    Splits, twists, lunges, parries, thrusts!
    One right after the other.
    So one night after working out, we were hanging around the Death Star.
    The three of us drinkin?, havin? a few laughs.
    And we ran out of Twi?leks, so I went out to get some.
    I come back.
    Open the door.
    And there?s Padmé and the stormtrooper.
    Doing kata #17.
    The spread eagle.
    Well, I was in such a state of rage, I completely blacked out. I can?t remember a thing.
    It wasn?t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even realized they were dead.

    [ All ]

    They had it comin?!
    They had it comin?!
    They had it comin? all along!
    I didn?t do it!
    [He didn?t do it!]
    But if I done it!
    [But if he done it!]
    How could you tell me that I was wrong?

    [Spoken: Palpatine ]

    I loved my Imperial Guard 4 more than I could possibly say.
    He was a real artistic guy.
    Sensitive.
    A painter.
    But he was always trying to find himself.
    He?d go out every coffee break looking for himself and on the way, he found the Janitor, the Stormtrooper, the Cell Block Guard, and Vader.
    I guess you could say we broke up because of a difference in opinion.
    He saw himself as alive.
    And I saw him as dead.

    [ All ]

    The dirty bum!
    The dirty bum!
    The dirty bum!
    They had it comin? all along!
    Cause then they used us,
    and then abused us!
    How could you tell us that we were wrong?

    They had it comin?!
    They had it comin?!
    They had it comin? all along!
    If you?d a been there!
    If/>
  12. Falls_the_Shadow Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 31, 2002
    star 3
    LOL! TheFallen.

    Wouldn't Zeta-Jones' "All that Jazz" dance scene be perfect in the background of the Club Outlander sequence. No wonder Anakin was distracted in his search for Zam.

    Obi-Wan: "Anakin! How many times have I told you to stop gawking at brunettes."

    Anakin: "Yes master."

    Obi-Wan: "Redheads, on the otherhand,"

    8-}
    The "Razzle Dazzle" song that Gere sings would be a perfect filk for Palpatine. Yoda is his Jedi puppet.
  13. Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2002
    star 4
    I have the soundtrack for Chicago and I did a parody of one of the songs that got cut from the movie, Class. I'm not sure if I'll put it up though. (and i SO helped TheFallen in that!!! :p )

    Edit: I was actually thinking that "I can not do it alone" for Palpy trying to get Anakin to join the darkside. :p
  14. astroanna Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2002
    star 4
    Hi, all!! :) I haven't been around in a long time, but I've seen Chicago, and the Palpatine version of "Razzle Dazzle" was just too good an idea for me to pass up! So, here goes....

    Hope it doesn't suck!!

    *********************************************

    Palpatine is walking towards the Senate chamber to give his adress to the Senate. Turning to his aide, Mas Amedda, he sees the blue-skinned alien looks nervous.

    "Chancellor", Mas Amedda says, "do you really think the Senate will grant you these emergency powers?"

    Smiling chillingly, Palpatine replies.

    "Don't worry, Mas. The Senate, the entire galaxy, it's all a circus, a three ring circus...."

    As the two enter the huge Senate Chamber, Palpatine begins to sing.

    "Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    Give 'em a speech with lots of flash in it
    And the reaction will be passionate

    Give 'em the old hocus pocus
    Bead and feather 'em
    How can they see with
    Sequins in their eyes?

    What if the republic is rusting?
    What if, in fact, it?s just disgusting?
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    And they'll never catch wise

    Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
    Row after row will grow vociferous

    Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
    Fool and fracture 'em
    How can they hear
    The truth above the roar?

    Throw 'em a fake and phony discourse
    They'll never know you're just a Sith lord
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    And they'll beg you for more

    Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    Back since the days of old methuselah
    Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler

    Give 'em the old three ring circus
    Stun and stagger 'em
    When you're in trouble
    Put them in a trance

    Though you are stiffer than a girder
    They let ya get away with murder
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    And they'll give you your chance

    Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    Give 'em an act that's unassailable
    They'll wait a year 'til you're available

    Give 'em the old double whammy
    Daze and dizzy 'em
    Show 'em the first rate
    Emperor you are

    Long as you keep 'em way off balance
    How can they spot you?ve got the talents?

    Razzle dazzle 'em
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    Razzle dazzle 'em
    And they'll make you monarch!"


    Palpatine makes his way to the podium with a much more confident Mas Amedda at his side, a sly smile curving his lips.

    *********************************************

    :)
  15. Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2002
    star 4
    LMAO! THAT WAS GREAT! I went and saw Chicago last week (and TheFallen has never seen it. :p ) and i loved it so much. I'm posting Class now. I'm still mad it never made it to the movie. It's so true about the world today.

    ?Class? [after Anakin has turned.]

    Mace (Spoken): The whole universe has gone low-brow. Thing's ain't what they used to be.

    Obi-Wan(Spoken): Yes...

    Obi (Singing):
    Whatever happened to no fear?
    And no love?
    And nice manners?
    Why is it every padawan now is a pain in the ass?
    Whatever happened to class?

    Mace:
    Class.
    Whatever happened to, "Please, may I?"
    And, "Yes, master?"
    And, "Force be with you?"
    Now, every son of a ***** is a Sith in the grass
    Whatever happened to class?

    Obi and Mace:
    Class!
    Ah, there ain't no Jedi
    To open up the doors
    There ain't no ladies now,
    There's only Twi?lek *******
    And even initiates will knock ya down
    So they can pass
    Nobody's got no class!

    Obi:
    Whatever happened to old values?

    Mace:
    And fine morals?

    Obi:
    And no breeding?

    Mace:
    Now, no one even says "oops" when they
    Lob off your arm!
    Whatever happened to class?

    Obi:
    Class.

    Obi and Mace:
    Ah, there ain't no Jedi left
    That's fit for any use.
    And any apprentice will turn to the darkside
    For a deuce

    Mace:
    And even initiates will kick your shins and give you sass

    Obi [a beat later]:
    And even initiates will kick your shins and give you sass

    Obi and Mace:
    Nobody's got no class!

    Obi:
    All you ready about today are Siths and theft

    MATRON
    Oh dear force, is there no decency left?

    Obi and Mace:
    Nobody's got no class!

    Mace:
    Everybody you watch

    Obi [thinking of Anakin]:
    Has got his brains in his crotch

    Mace:
    Oh dear Force...

    Obi:
    Oh dear Force...

    Mace:
    What a shame

    Obi:
    What a shame

    Obi and Mace:
    What became of class?


    Hope that one didn't suck.

    YJ edit: Some of those words were not appropriate for these forums.
  16. stacysatrip Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 20, 2002
    star 4
    Here's one inspired by Les Mis for the clonetroopers:

    At the End of the Day

    At the end of the day you're just two more days older
    And that's all you can say for the life of a clone
    We take orders without question
    Doesn't matter who's doing the giving
    Born and bred simply to fight, to be alone.
    Two days less to be living.
  17. TheFallen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    [face_laugh] One of the funniest things I've ever read. Let's just hope the mods keep it off their rador. :p


    TF
  18. Wild_Huntress Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 15, 2002
    star 4
  19. YodaJeff Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2001
    star 7
    "Let's just hope the mods keep it off their rador."

    Too late. ;)
  20. Master_Comedy_Kitty Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2002
    star 4
    I have been edited...again. [face_plain]

    Back on topic, i'm trying to think of other songs from Chicago or anything else to do. Anyone got any ideas?
  21. YodaJeff Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Oct 18, 2001
    star 7
    If you keep things suitable for a family forum, your messages won't get edited.
  22. Livi-Wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 29, 2002
    star 4
    If 'Cats' counts I did a Darth Vader version of 'Memory'...........

    Midnight
    not a sound from the ?troopers
    Has Alderaan lost her memory?
    She is smiling alone
    In the fatal laser light
    A mouse droid bumps into my feet
    And the weapon begins to charge

    Memory
    All alone on the Death Star
    I can smile at the old days
    I was a Jedi then
    I remember before the time I knew what the darkside was
    Let Padmé live again

    Every glowlamp seems to beat
    a fatalistic warning
    Palpatine mutters
    and the glowlamp gutters
    and soon it will be morning

    Skywalker
    I must wait for boy
    I must think of my son and I mustn?t give in
    When Luke comes
    Palpatine will be a memory too
    And a new age will begin

    Burnt out ends of smoky Tuskens,
    The stale cold smell of Tatooine
    The glowlamp dies, another night is over
    Another planet is mourning

    Touch me
    It's so easy to leave me
    All alone in the memory
    Of my days as a padawan
    If you confront me
    You'll understand what pain is

    As a Sith Lord constricts your throat

  23. TheFallen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2001
    star 4
    Too late. ;)

    FOILED AGAIN! :p


    TF
  24. AlexiAlexander Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 2
    Love the evita and Cats stuff unfortunately i haven't seen Chicago so I will wait to read them at a time when i'll have their nifty tunes running in my head. I foung a web sit with a star wars musical on it. It is all music and no staging but it's pretty great.

    Dang I can't make a link. As soon as i can I'll share.

  25. trianiigirl Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 21, 2002
    star 5
    [face_blush] I had totally forgotten this thread! I feel hoooorible!

    As I have not seen Chicago yet :( I can't sing along to all of the new filks... but I love 'em!
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